TITLE: Thoughts of Family
AUTHOR: Liquid Thalassa
E-MAIL: liquidthalassa@yahoo.com
RATING: G
SHIP: none
SPOILERS: Carlos general up until last night's (2-13) eppy
SUMMARY: Carlos reflects on family and belonging
DISCLAIMER: The characters of Third Watch belong to John Wells and Warner
Brothers.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: it might look like a poem with the short sentences, but it's
not. It's more like a stream of thought thingy. I came up with this after
last night's eppy. I've always liked Carlos- even when he was an ass- and
thought I'd try to get into his thoughts about family. It may not be that
great, but I hope it was enjoyable. Please let me know what you think.
HERE IT IS:
For so long I lacked the one thing I thought I'd never have.
Would never know or feel.
Family.
I was the foster-kid.
Bounced around unwanted from one house to another.
Forgotten.
Unloved.
With no one.
No body to call my own.
To call family.
For so long I feed off of this.
My confusion, hate, and bitterness concentrating into the person I am.
The person I became.
Cold, uncaring and aloof.
A jackass.
Sarcastic and alone.
Was it my fault?
I was the product of my upbringing, I didn't ask for this, to be like this.
All I ever wanted was to be wanted, needed, loved.
Then like a dream Christian came.
My brother.
Flesh and blood.
He said Mom and them had been looking for their little brother.
Searching.
Hoping to find him.
I couldn't believe it really.
I always thought they never cared.
It was weird- to be around him a first.
How do brothers act?
I have no idea.
You're name was Adam, he told me.
Adam.
Was that ironic or what?
Me "Adam" working as a paramedic driving bus "Adam 55-3".
After a while I got used to Christian.
I was grateful.
He saved Kylie's life and in a way my own.
We sat, drinking beers and talking.
Of our mother, of memories he wanted to share.
They celebrated my birthday every year, he said.
I never had a birthday party.
No one ever cared.
I told him of my life.
Sparing him the details that even I wish to block out forever.
I was jealous.
We- both of the same blood, the same origin- received so different lots in
life.
He was a district attorney in Hawaii. He grew up in a loving home with
people who cared.
And I...We all know how I turned out.
I became a better person though. I realized I can't define myself but where
I came from but what I become.
I was a paramedic, I helped people.
Saved lives everyday.
All along I was needed.
Needed on the streets.
Needed by the hurt, sick and injured.
Though it wasn't until last night that I realized I had a family all along.
I went to Doc's party, not wanting to go home alone.
I was sick of loneliness.
Of Pity.
I've changed.
They all knew it, so it made things that much easier.
I was funny, conversational.
I was Carlos.
I didn't think he would show up, he said he had to catch his flight.
But he did.
He brought a book full of all the photos he took and began to talk.
I stood there next to him, listening to his worlds.
"I realized he had a family", Christian said, "he has all of you."
I look around at all of the people, all of the faces that I knew.
It was true.
I had a family all along.
A sense of completeness filled me in such a way that I almost cried.
Almost.
For so long I thought I lacked the one thing I thought I'd never have.
I was blind.
Doc. Kim. Jimmy. Alex. Bosco. Faith. Monroe. Cruz. Ty. Sully. Lieu.
They were all there for me.
My brother left back to Honolulu.
I'll miss him but I know he's there.
I know he cares and loves me.
I walked down the street, with a smile on my face and entered the 55.
Kim looked at me-paused in her task of making tea- with a curious look on
her face. "What's up Carlos?" She asked.
I set my bag down and looked around. "Nothing." I said with a smile. She
looked at me and shook her head, mumbling something about me being Carlos.
And then at that moment I knew I was home.
With my family.
Those who serve and protect and care.
Those of the 5-5.
The End
@~~~~~
What do you think? Let me know (please, please)! Oh and this is a one-shot.
Though I could always write an actual fic dealing with Carlos, like I have
in the past...anyone want me to?
AUTHOR: Liquid Thalassa
E-MAIL: liquidthalassa@yahoo.com
RATING: G
SHIP: none
SPOILERS: Carlos general up until last night's (2-13) eppy
SUMMARY: Carlos reflects on family and belonging
DISCLAIMER: The characters of Third Watch belong to John Wells and Warner
Brothers.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: it might look like a poem with the short sentences, but it's
not. It's more like a stream of thought thingy. I came up with this after
last night's eppy. I've always liked Carlos- even when he was an ass- and
thought I'd try to get into his thoughts about family. It may not be that
great, but I hope it was enjoyable. Please let me know what you think.
HERE IT IS:
For so long I lacked the one thing I thought I'd never have.
Would never know or feel.
Family.
I was the foster-kid.
Bounced around unwanted from one house to another.
Forgotten.
Unloved.
With no one.
No body to call my own.
To call family.
For so long I feed off of this.
My confusion, hate, and bitterness concentrating into the person I am.
The person I became.
Cold, uncaring and aloof.
A jackass.
Sarcastic and alone.
Was it my fault?
I was the product of my upbringing, I didn't ask for this, to be like this.
All I ever wanted was to be wanted, needed, loved.
Then like a dream Christian came.
My brother.
Flesh and blood.
He said Mom and them had been looking for their little brother.
Searching.
Hoping to find him.
I couldn't believe it really.
I always thought they never cared.
It was weird- to be around him a first.
How do brothers act?
I have no idea.
You're name was Adam, he told me.
Adam.
Was that ironic or what?
Me "Adam" working as a paramedic driving bus "Adam 55-3".
After a while I got used to Christian.
I was grateful.
He saved Kylie's life and in a way my own.
We sat, drinking beers and talking.
Of our mother, of memories he wanted to share.
They celebrated my birthday every year, he said.
I never had a birthday party.
No one ever cared.
I told him of my life.
Sparing him the details that even I wish to block out forever.
I was jealous.
We- both of the same blood, the same origin- received so different lots in
life.
He was a district attorney in Hawaii. He grew up in a loving home with
people who cared.
And I...We all know how I turned out.
I became a better person though. I realized I can't define myself but where
I came from but what I become.
I was a paramedic, I helped people.
Saved lives everyday.
All along I was needed.
Needed on the streets.
Needed by the hurt, sick and injured.
Though it wasn't until last night that I realized I had a family all along.
I went to Doc's party, not wanting to go home alone.
I was sick of loneliness.
Of Pity.
I've changed.
They all knew it, so it made things that much easier.
I was funny, conversational.
I was Carlos.
I didn't think he would show up, he said he had to catch his flight.
But he did.
He brought a book full of all the photos he took and began to talk.
I stood there next to him, listening to his worlds.
"I realized he had a family", Christian said, "he has all of you."
I look around at all of the people, all of the faces that I knew.
It was true.
I had a family all along.
A sense of completeness filled me in such a way that I almost cried.
Almost.
For so long I thought I lacked the one thing I thought I'd never have.
I was blind.
Doc. Kim. Jimmy. Alex. Bosco. Faith. Monroe. Cruz. Ty. Sully. Lieu.
They were all there for me.
My brother left back to Honolulu.
I'll miss him but I know he's there.
I know he cares and loves me.
I walked down the street, with a smile on my face and entered the 55.
Kim looked at me-paused in her task of making tea- with a curious look on
her face. "What's up Carlos?" She asked.
I set my bag down and looked around. "Nothing." I said with a smile. She
looked at me and shook her head, mumbling something about me being Carlos.
And then at that moment I knew I was home.
With my family.
Those who serve and protect and care.
Those of the 5-5.
The End
@~~~~~
What do you think? Let me know (please, please)! Oh and this is a one-shot.
Though I could always write an actual fic dealing with Carlos, like I have
in the past...anyone want me to?