Halo 4 Screwed Up Version

Prologue

Hello again peoples my name is Neptin Shumabe the Sangheili and welcome the fuck back to a new book. OMG I'm sooooo excited because i have new ideas :D

LeTs BeGiN

P.S. fi ouy nac daer siht tihs ruoy a gnikcuf larutan

P.P.S to start off i want to give a big thank you to the people who like my stories

Well you guys probably think that this is going to have a boring intro as always.

Well I'm here to tell you one word about that...penis.

Anyways, obviously the Backward Unto Dusk is floating in space because of fucking installation 04B fuck.

Oh, Johnson died too.

For fuck sake the black guy always dies I mean come on people that's racist.

God dammit i'm going off topic again.

Okay before all that a random interrogator is interrogating Dr. Fucking Halsey and OH MY GOD she's old as hell.

"Tell me about the children." The Interrogator said while staying in the shadows because he's a fucking pussy to not show his face on camera.

He get's mad because Halsey didn't answer the question (fucking bitch just like Cortana).

She finally replies, "You all ready know everything."

He replies, "You kidnapped them."

Then she gives this retarded explanation, "Children's minds are more easly accepting of indoctrination, their bodies are more adaptable to augmentation. The result was the ultimate fucker...I mean soldier."

Holy shit John is taller than the other technicians O_O.

Halsey continued (for fuck sake), "And because of our success, when the retarded Covenant invaded, we were ready to kick some dickless assholes."

The Interrogator replies, "You mean the Covenant? Dr. Halsey you are bending history for your favor and you know it."

Skipping time of Halsey talking too much.

Okay a CAS-class assault carrier bruzer is hovering over the human city.

Dozens of aircraft flew out of the launch bay.

Banshees spawn in the middle of the city and Sangheilis jump in the Banshees.

Humans were like WTF and ran like grandmother fuckers.

Then randomly a sangheili drives his energy sword through a fleeing civilian (dumbass).

Then randomly Spartans fall from the sky.

They land and an Elite snarls at him.

All the Spartans flipped them off.

The Sangheili didn't even know what that meant but shot at them anyways.

The Spartans returned fire too.

Halsey replies, "Nobody gave a fuck then. My work saved the human race."

The Interrogator questioned, "Do you think the Spartans' lack of basic humanity helped?"

Halsey replies, "Da faq are you after?"

Blah blah blah something about sociopathic tendencies.

"The master chief is dead." said the Interrogator.

She replies, "His file reads 'missing in action'."

Interrogator replies with a laugh, "Catherine, Spartans never die."

Then she finally replies (thank God), "You mistake is seeing Spartans as military sex toys. My Spartans are humanity's next step..."

Then she stands up in cuffs, "Our destiny (hey that's a new game coming out :D) as a species. Do not underestimate them. But most of all, do not underestimate...that green shit."

Then somehow everything goes black and you can hear the sound of everyone tripping over shit because it's so dark.

Okay guys I tried to make this as funneh and long as possible hope you enjoyed.