Damn My Fantasies

By Cypher

So we're in the hotel room less than five minutes, and he's harping on the whole Madison issue. He told her he loves her, and she didn't say it back. Big deal. What does he see in her, anyways? She doesn't care about him, not the way some other people would. Laynie, Amy…Colin. Oh, don't think I didn't see it. Colin wanted him, liked he used to want me. But I got over it, it was a temporary crush on my friend's part.

Ephram and I sort of created a small friendship around that time. Nothing solid or really platonic, at least not at first, but a friendship. He didn't know about me, or Colin. Actually, no one does, not even Amy. Not that we were gay, no way. But…interested in screwing the same sex? Sure. What's the term? Bi. That's it.

He still doesn't know about me, even after how close we've grown. I sought him out after I was booted off football, and we've just grown close. And I have to admit, I enjoy his company, his companionship. He'll tell me if he thinks I'm being an ass--okay, if I am being an ass. He'll put me in my place if I overstep my bounds, and he doesn't take any shit from me.

And I, like the dumb lummox I am, fell for him. The antisocial, piano playing, lanky outcast that no one wants to be with. This has to be the worst crush that could happen to me. Well, no, Wendell would be worse. Way worse.

I have to sit here, however, and listen to him complain about Madison, give him advice about how to court her, get in bed with her. He assumes I've done it all. What, just because I was a jock he assumes I've slept around, I'm an expert? Well, I have a reputation to maintain…but still. I expect more from him.

And you know what? I'm about ready to tell him to blow off Madison and be with someone who really cares about him. Who would that be? Me. Hell, I'd show him how serious I was right now if I could. I've had dreams about this, you know. The two of us in a hotel room, no one coming to see us for a number of hours. He'd be his usual snaky self, I'd get fed up with it, and before he knew what was going on, I'd slam him against the wall and shove my tongue down his throat.

I have many fantasies about him. A classroom, the locker room, my room, even at a piano recital. I've seen him play, and just thinking about what those nimble fingers could do against my skin gets me hard. But this, the hotel fantasy, is probably my favorite. I'm not sure why, but how long have I waited for an opportunity like this to present itself?

Right, back to shoving my tongue down his throat. He'd protest at first, pushing against me, but come on, he's a little weakling compared to me. Physically, at least. Mentally he's stronger than anyone I've ever known. It's one of the reasons I fell for him. So, he'd push against me, and I'd push back, and he'd finally just stop fighting me, because deep down he wants it too.

This isn't some romantic setting, some miraculous "happily ever after" dream. This is a down and dirty let's have sex and fuck the consequences fantasy. I've heard the term "alpha male" before, from the cheerleaders, in regards to football players. If it means taking charge and leaving my mark on Ephram, then that's what I like, that's what I dream of. Being the alpha male.

Once he'd stop fighting me, I'd pull off his clothes; fast, sloppy. I wouldn't care if they tear, or where they landed. The goal is to get naked as fast as possible. Once he's done, I toss him on the bed and throw off my own clothes. I have years of practice being fast thanks to sports. Then I'd tackle him on the mattress and kiss him again, pinning him down by his wrists. That image gets me pretty hot, too, straddling his waist and holding him down as I lick and suck every inch of his pale skin.

And his neck, his slender neck that I sometimes can't look away from, I'd nibble on that for a while as his moans, writhing under me. I'd bite hard enough to mark him, to let everyone know, especially that bitch he's currently with, that he's mine, and mine alone. I don't care what the guys from the team would say, I don't care that I'd lose my studly reputation. I know that whatever I lose would be made up by the ravishing I give him.

And once I was done marking him, I'd move down and play with his balls. Colin used to do that with me, and it sent me higher than any drug. And Ephram, sensitive Ephram, would howl as I played with him, stroked him, teased him. It wouldn't be in pain, it would be in pleasure, and need, and pure lustful desire. And once I had him begging me, once I had him mewling like a damned cat, I would begin the final steps. I'd flip him over and push a finger into him.

Colin and I never went all the way, never engaged in anal sex. We were afraid that it might affect our game play, or that our physicals wouldn't be passed. But Ephram deserves more than a simple blow job or jerk off session. I learned how to do this from a few websites I visited. I had considered asking Colin to go farther, I was tired of the simple groping sessions. But before I could, there was the accident…

Enough about that. This is my fantasy, and I know that no matter how beautiful he would look bared before me, he would look even better when I got to the full deal. And he always does. There's a glow that comes off him as he arches his back, moaning my name as he impales himself further on my finger. After he starts calming down, I push in a second, and he repeats the actions all over again.

And then, when I finally remove them, he's begging once again, but this time it's his angry voice. The one he uses when he's frustrated or upset. It's so full of passion, holds so much force behind it that I'm always eager to push his buttons to see that fire in him. He'd be demanding I get back in there, that I finish what I started, and--God, my hands are sweating just thinking this.

I'd shove in, and he would push back, until I was buried to the hilt, and the sounds he makes, the sounds I'd make, and how he'd be calling my name as I thrust in and out, jolting him with every move I made. Dominance at its basest form. That's a word Ephram taught me, basest; and ever since he did I've wanted to follow my basest desires for him.

And then, with a shudder, he'd let out a scream of pleasure that they would hear even out in Everwood as he exploded all over the sheets. A minute later, I'd follow, releasing into him, and we'd collapse on the bed, panting, but sated. He'd even glance back and give me that shy smile he only reserves for people he really cares for. As I'd pull out I'd kiss the back of his neck, feel over his totally lax body, memorizing every inch of it.

And, just before I was ready to get off--heh, I made a joke--and fall asleep next to him, I'd whisper the words "I love you," into his ear, licking the curve of it delicately. I'd let him know that it wasn't just about sex, that we weren't just 'friends with privileges,' that I wanted more than that. And--hey, you know something?

He never says it back.

And it always sucker punches me so hard in the dream that I wake up, the bed damp with my sweat and cum, and I'd have this empty feeling in my stomach, because even in my dreams, I don't know if Ephram would return my feelings. It hurts, and whenever that happens in my fantasies, my days pretty much suck.

Huh, maybe I do know where Ephram's coming from. Not being told you're loved back, especially after something like having sex, hurts. Now that I'm back in the present, I try and calm the boy of my wet dreams down, but he's got it set to return to Madison, to make sure she's okay. I can't talk him out of it, but maybe it's for the best. If he stayed, I don't know if I could control myself, because God knows I've been having a hard time of it lately.

But one day, when I'm either too drunk or too tired to care, I'll tell him the truth. I'll tell them all the truth, even Amy, about me, about Colin, and about my fantasies. And if they don't like it, then screw them; all but Ephram. That's a new fantasy lately, he accepts it, and we go away and do it like rabbits-

You know, it's probably a very good thing he's gone tonight, because I'll be spending a lot of time in the bathroom shouting his name. At this rate, I won't be getting any sleep. Damn my fantasies. Damn them.

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Author's Prattle: This was just a quick thing I typed out on a Sunday morning (plot came to me in a dream). I know it's not good, I usually don't do sex (shounen ai? Sure. Sex? Not usually), but I tried. I'm still pushing a friend of mine to write a nice Colin-Bright/Bright-Ephram slashfic, and with luck this'll give him the nudge to start on it. I don't plan on making this a series, but who knows what the future holds.

Disclaimers. I don't own Everwood, it belongs to the WB network and Greg Berlanti. I'm just putting their characters in roles they really should be in, instead of what's going on. Also, for those of you who are dissuaded by the word "cum," I looked it up, it DOES mean the semen ejaculated during orgasm. A vulgar variation, but it is defined that way; and let's face it, Bright's a bit vulgar.

Okay, that's it for this one-shot. Boy, two in one week. That's got to be a record for me. I'll get back to my usual epic fics now. As always, reviews and criticisms are welcome, and I hope you enjoyed!