Dial R 4 Infinity Productions

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Stuck In Canada

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T.A.R.N.S: This is a request fic for Chibi Horsewoman. I hope I did okay.

Random Disclaimer: Don't play with wormholes, kids. They're dangerous.

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"So Timmy, Do you have any idea where we're going?" Brandon asked. "Uh…not since we came out of the wormhole." Timmy replied as he steered the squad ship.

"Uh, do those trees look different to you?" Sky asked. "Guys, I don't think we're in Magix anymore." Brandon said.

"Really?" Riven asked sarcastically. "It not's like we'd be somewhere else after we got sucked through a wormhole."

For a few minutes, all was quiet. Timmy kept the squad ship flying, and the others tried to figure out a way to get home. Then they heard a crunch! and a grinding noise. Timmy tried to stabilize the ship as they came in for a rough landing on the ground.

"What was that?" Helia asked as they stood up. No one had been hurt. "I think something went wrong with the engine." Timmy replied. The group headed outside and saw that they were in the middle of a forest.

"Better get comfortable, guys." Timmy said as he started to look through the engine. "We might be here awhile."

XXXXXX

Helia sat cross legged on a rock, meditating. "Nature is wonderful." He said.

Riven swatted at a mosquito. "Stupid bugs." He muttered.

A few feet away, Timmy dug through the ship's engine. "We're gonna need some new parts for this thing." He pulled his head out of the engine and turned to the others. "We should probably get walking and see if we can find a town.

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So they walked. And they walked. And they walked. When suddenly Brandon said, "Hey look!"

Up ahead on the trail was another person. He had brown hair and was wearing blue jeans, a plaid shirt and boots.

"Excuse me." Sky said as the walked towards the guy. "Can you help us? You see, we need to find a parts store so we can get some parts for our ship. I'm Sky, and this is Timmy, Riven Brandon, and Helia. Can you tell us where we are?"

"I'm Jack, and you are about eight miles away from Nowhere…" Jack started, but Riven interrupted. "I thought we were in the middle of nowhere, not eight miles from it."

Everyone except Jack shot Riven a look that could have killed a fichus.

"No, no," Jack said. "The city of Nowhere, which is about eight hundred miles from the big city of Fort St. John." "Where is the city of Nowhere located?" Sky asked. "Uh… In British Columbia." Jack said.

"And where is British Columbia?" Helia asked.

"Uh…" Jack gave him a strange look. "In Canada."

"So, where is Canada?" Brandon asked.

"On the continent of North America."

"And, what planet is that on?" Timmy asked.

"Earth." Jack told him.

"Then we're on Bloom's home planet." Sky said.

"What?" Jack gave him an incredulous look.

"Nothing." Timmy said. "Can you tell us how to get to the city of Nowhere?"

Jack pointed to a trail. "Just follow the trail." He said.

"Thanks." Helia said, and the boys continued on their way.

Jack shook his head as he watched them walk away. "We get all the crazies around here." He muttered.

XXX

Ten minutes later, the boys arrived in the city of Nowhere. "Actually, it's more like a little town." Riven pointed out.

"Yes, but they have a parts shop." Timmy said.

"Well, let's go se what they got." Brandon said.

Inside the parts shop, they found the owner. "Howdy boys." The owner, named Frank said. "Looking for parts? Of course you are, otherwise you wouldn't be here. Well, you're in luck, 'cause this is the best parts shop in the city of Nowhere."

An employee popped up from behind the counter. "Frankly, that's because it's the only parts shop in the city of Nowhere."

"Fred, get back to work!" Frank ordered. "Sorry about that," Frank said to the boys as Fred slunk off. "He's new here. Now what can I do for you?"

"We need some part for our ship – I mean, our car." Timmy said.

"Well, you're in luck; we're having a special on tires." Frank said. A series of loud pops was heard from the tire department. "I mean gas caps. We're having a special on gas caps. Forty nine (49) percent off."

"Why don't you just make it fifty percent off?" Riven wondered.

"Because that's almost half off."

"That is half off." Riven told Frank.

"What, no it's not." Frank said.

Riven decided not to argue the point.

"We're just gonna look around and see if we can find what we need.' Timmy said, and they went down the second aisle.

"Can we use any of this stuff, Timmy?" Helia asked.

"I found the basic components, so I can build the piece we need from that." Timmy replied.

"Look at this stuff," Brandon said. "An oil filter. This should be in a museum. We oughta buy some of this stuff, take it back, and sell it."

"Well, let's just get this stuff and go." Timmy said. "I hope the girls haven't given up waiting for us."

Meanwhile, back in Magix…

The Winx Club was waiting for the Specialists, who were now very late.

Musa checked her watch. "Where are the boys?" She wondered. "They were supposed to be here two hours ago. They better not have stood us up."

"We'll give them two more minutes, and then we'll go back to Alfea." Bloom said.

Back in Nowhere, Canada…

Brandon clutched his stomach and collapsed. "Oh no, my two minute warning sense is tingling!"

"Hey, I remember that." Riven said. "You do that before the last two minutes of a sporting event, and everyone else there looks at us funny."

"Never mind that. The girls are never going to believe that we got stuck in the middle of Nowhere." Helia said.

"Hey, that's not funny." A customer protested. "Or true. You're in the southeast end of Nowhere."

"Uh, who cares?" Riven asked.

The customer angrily stormed away.

"C'mon guys, we've only got one minute left." Brandon said.

The boys grabbed the parts they needed – and Brandon- and raced for the door.

"Hey wait!" Frank stopped them. "You didn't pay for those parts!"

Sky fished out his wallet. "Do you take Eracklyon money?"

"No, I don't take money from Iraq."

"Here." Sky handed him the coin and raced out the door.

"Hey, how much is this worth?" Frank asked.

"Ten dollars." Sky called back.

"Okay." He handed the coin to Fred. "Here's your pay for the week."

"Where is this money from?" Fred asked.

"From Ura-can-monkeyish, something or other."

"Sweet! I'm gonna go sell this on eBay and make a fortune." Fred said.

Frank slapped a hand to his forehead. "If you're gonna be a billionaire, you'd better start pulling your wait around here. Now go fix those tires."

XXX

The boys raced down the path back to the ship. "How much time do we have?" Sky asked.

"One minute." Brandon said.

They reached the ship a moment later. Timmy hastily assembled the part and put it in the engine, then raced into the ship where the other boys were. "We're ready to go." Timmy said as he punched some buttons.

As the ship took off, Helia asked, "How long will it take us to get back to Magix?"

"Two hours." Timmy replied.

"That's not fast enough." Riven said. "We'll have to use the warp drive." He continued as he pushed a large red button.

"No!" Timmy protested. "Don't push the red button! Bad things happen when you push large red buttons!"

But it was two late. A moment later the ship warped away.

XXX

"Three…two…one… negative one. They're exactly two hours, 2 minutes, and one second late." Musa said. "Let's go."

As the Winx Club was about to leave, a Red Fountain ship came out of a portal, and crashed into a tree.

"Oh great." Riven said to Timmy as the boys exited the ship. "I knew we should have extended our insurance to cover exiting a warp and crashing into a tree, but no, you said that would never happen."

"Where have you been?" Tecna demanded.

"You wouldn't believe us if we told you." Sky said.

"Try us." Musa replied.

"We were in the southeast end of Nowhere." Sky said.

"Where is 'Nowhere'?" Flora asked.

"In Canada." Helia said.

"Where's Canada?" Stella wanted to know.

"On Earth." Brandon told her.

"Hey, that's my home planet." Bloom said. "I remember reading about Canada, but not about Nowhere. But maybe I slept through that part of class."

"But look what we found there," Brandon said. He held up the oil filter. "An oil filter."

"That thing belongs in a museum." Tecna told him.

"Yeah. We brought it back so we can sell it for money and give you girls the time of your life." The boys had fake smiles on.

Stella latched on to Brandon's arm as he said that. "You we can shop and get jewelry and clothes and stuff?" she asked

"Uh… sure, let's go with that." Brandon replied.

Epilogue

After the boys sold the oil filter, they treated the girls to a night on the town.

Frank still runs the little parts shop on the southeast end of Nowhere.

Fred struck it rich on eBay because someone overpaid for that coin.

Musa decided not to break up Riven… Not yet, anyway.

Then there's Jack…He's doin' okay, too.

You are being attacked by a wildebeest- You just don't know it yet.

This epilogue is getting screwier and screwier the more I write it.

And this is the end.

Not really. This is the End

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T.A.R.N.S.: And there you have it. Special thanks to my Partner-In-Rhyme Caleb for helping with this fic. R&R please.

Caleb: And now……This is the end. (Don't worry this IS the end REALLY!!!)