Word Count: 2044 words

Warnings: sexual references, self esteem issues, and swearing because I am incapable of writing supernatural fanfic without swearing multiple times...

Summary: 'Reader feels like shit about herself and has been crushing on one of the boys for a while and then someone she used to know tries to flirt with the one that she likes and she gets even more upset because she feels like she has no hope now and then it ends with some serious fluffy fluff.' as requested by anonymous.

AN: I am so sorry that this has taken so long to get through. I am so stressed out with school starting in about a week and everything that comes with the end of summer

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Push It Down

She was at the bar with the boys, drinking off a terrible case. They had gotten those sons of bitches but she did nothing to help with that. Or much of anything else to do with the hunt, to be perfectly candid.

She had fucked up their plan yet again. She had been kidnapped from the motel by a coven of witches. She was on her way from the boy's motel room to her's - which was next door - when she had been ambushed. Her face reddened at what must have been going through Dean's head when he opened the door to find her in the middle of a coven's circle, prepared to be sacrificed to Hecate.

She took a swig of her beer as her mind did a play-by-play of what happened after the brothers found her in that warehouse. They had saved the day. Again. They were always doing that. And Dean was always saving her sorry ass, too.

Her track record hasn't been up to par lately, and she she was furious with herself. You wouldn't be able to tell that she had hunted solo for over a decade before joining up with the Winchesters and their angel. Bobby had introduced her to the boys and after a few more run ins, they had asked her to join them and be a part of their little rag team permanently. She has no idea why she accepted, she just seemed to slow them down.

Another bottle was passed across the counter towards her as she tipped the last of her current alcohol down her throat. She looked over and saw Dean a few stools over, talking to another woman.

That was another problem that liked to poke its head through the barely opened door of her mind. Her feelings for a certain green eyed hunter that were sure to be just one sided - incase it was ` unclear, it's one sided in favor of her, sadly. She had never told Dean, but she figured it didn't matter. Why on earth would he ever have the same feelings for her as she did for him - what with all the problems that she had. She knew that she wasn't good enough for him, nor would she ever be. She was just coming around to accepting that bitter fact. And that was just a little bit harder.

Her eyes widened and she felt like her heart was going to stop when she noticed who the woman next to Dean was. Maddie Smythe. She remembered going to highschool with Maddie. Nothing seemed to change. She was still drinking like there was no tomorrow and flirting with anything that was endowed with a penis. Although in high school, she was a brunette, not the platinum blonde hanging off of Dean's arm.

The Winchester in question looked up and locked eyes with her before smiling and waving her over. Sam was next to him and slapped his arm in disagreement. Dean turned his head to look at his brother with a playfully questioning expression painted on his face. But Sam just shook his head and looked at her sympathetically.

Yeah, somehow Sam had found about her feelings - her crush - for his brother. Thank God that the younger Winchester had been there for her, like a buffer between her and Dean's oblivious actions. She might have thrown something by now if it wasn't for old ol' Sam.

She walked up to Dean, Maddie, and Sam, beer bottle in her hand and anxiety in her mind. Sam scooted over to make room for her to sit on the barstool between him and his brother. She wasn't particularly happy with Sammy's antics, but she wasn't going to turn down the offered seat with people watching. So she pushed the ever-growing emotions down and sat on the stool, trying not to make eye contact with the obnoxious blonde next to her.

She brought the bottle to her lips and almost choked on it when she was ambushed by a pair of slender arms squeezing around her shoulders. The blonde called out her name. "Ohmigawd! I haven't seen you in so long!" Maddie screeched into her ear as she coughed on her beer, trying not to die.

"You two know each other?" Sam asked. Dean looked too shocked to say anything.

"We knew each other in high school!" Maddie screamed again, too excited for the female hunter's taste.

"Class of '98." She added.

"Go Gladiators!" Maddie cheered, throwing her hands up.

"Yay." She said weakly, looking up at Dean helplessly.

"This is like some weird fantasy of mine." She could have sworn she heard Dean mumble as he stared in surprise at what was occurring in front of him.

"The only reason I graduated that year was because of this little nerd!" Maddie poked into the hunter. "Well, there was also between classes with Mr. Middlestone in his office, but that's another story!"

"It was a small school." The hunter explained to the brothers.

"You bet it was! Everyone knew about how your parents were always out of town! But you'd never host a party! You might not have graduated a sad little virgin - well," She looked down at the hunter's body and smiled playfully. "Not so little anymore, I guess." This was so embarrassing. The fact that she was here, having this conversation with a woman whom she would have been happy to never see again, was embarrassing in itself. But the place where this conversation was going was even more embarrassing.

"Wait, you're not still a virgin, are you?" Maddie tried to whisper, but the whole bar could probably hear the blonde and her outbursts.

"No," She answered in a low voice. "I'm not." Dean's eyes just kept getting wider at what was unfolding and her face was just getting redder and redder as she prayed that Maddie would just pass out from alcohol intoxication or some other miracle.

"Oh, good for you! So which one of these lucky boys did you give your V-card to?" As soon as she heard Sam snort out his beer, she wanted to assume the fetal position and die, which would be a lot better than what was going on around her at this moment.

"Neither." She would kill Maddie and then kill herself so that she didn't have to deal with the endless teasing she would get later on or the consequences of first degree murder.

"Now that's a shame." She looked from Dean to Sam and back at Dean. "I would ride both of you so hard if I wasn't so out of it.

"Hell, I'd be up for a fourway if I had the time." She felt like gagging at what Maddie was spouting out of her mouth. She literally felt secondhand embarrassment added on to her personal hellish embarrassment just from being next to her.

This has to end. "I'm going to call you a cab, Maddie." She resolved pulling her phone out of her pocket as she got up from her stool. The sooner she got that blonde out of the bar, the less likely the hunter would kill said blonde.

"No. Let me do that." Sam stood up and nudged her back onto her barstool. She sat back down as Sam led Maddie passed Dean and herself.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Dean shouted as the two exited the bar.

He looked back at her and smirked. She understood what Sam had done. That clever son of a bitch Winchester had left her and Dean alone at the counter, where anything could happen.

"So," Dean started. She just knew by that damn look on his face what was going to happen. "Graduated a virgin, huh?"

"You know the answer to that one, Winchester." She turned away and took another helpful swig of her beer.

"Ah, it doesn't matter." Dean conceded. "Do you think she popped a Xanax before she came over?"

"Wouldn't surprise me." She laughed after she set her bottle down.

"Did you really know her in high school."

"Yep." She popped the p. "She cheated off my papers during Advanced Lit because she was always absent with hangover after hangover."

"She's hot, though." Dean reminisced and she felt her heart drop into her stomach. She looked down at her denim clad lap so that he couldn't see the hurt that would obviously be flooding her eyes.

"If you're into that, I guess." She commented, still keeping her gaze at anything but Dean and his laughing eyes.

"But she could never compare to you." He sounded so sincere that she had to look up at him. He was smiling at her - and it wasn't a smirk or one of those smiles that he used when trying to get some girl's dress off. It was a smile that could only be described as genuine.

She smiled back at him and raised her half empty bottle. He raised his as well and the necks clinked together before she took another swig. He did the same and they both put their bottles down at the same time.

"And why is that?" She asked, smiling again at the older brother.

"Because you're my," He looked her up and down and that charming smile returned, full throttle. "Not-so-little nerd."

"Shut up!" She smacked him on the arm.

"What?" He asked, laughing as he brought his bottle back to his perfect lips. She laughed at the absurdity of their conversation.

Sam returned soon and the three of them left the small bar. As soon as Dean pulled up into the motel parking lot, she got out of the back seat and headed to her room. Dean followed her close behind.

"What is this, a first date?" She asked jokingly as she fished out the room key out of her jean pocket.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked, chuckling at their banter that the two of them had been having since they got into the car.

"You don't have to walk me to the door." She explained before she opened the door to her small motel room.

"I think that I do." He responded cheekily, filling up the doorframe.

She turned around to him and rolled her eyes before smiling at him and saying softly, "Goodnight, Dean." Before smiling and closing the door on him.

"Goodnight." He said loudly at the door, hoping that she could hear him. And then he turned around and made his way to his room. "No one could ever compare to you." He stated, mostly to himself than to anyone else, hoping that nobody - especially not his brother - could actually hear him.

AN: And I finally finished this one! This one was an alright one, in my humble opinion. But I do like it, so here you go! Thanks to everyone who has followed me. I now have over one thousand followers on tumblr! You guys are so so so amazing. Like, it's so awesome sauce that you all follow me and dig the stuff that I post. Comments, Questions, Concerns? Just drop me an ask via my blog or either a review or a PM on fanfiction!

Remember to Smile :)

~Becca