Olivia's POV
I am lucky they only suspended me for helping Simone thank god but two weeks is going to kill me. I think I need to transfure I can't be with Elliot anymore I is just to hard after he told me about Kathy being pregnant I thought I was going to pass out I had to keep the tears from falling thank god I didn't need to stay because I would never have made it as soon as I got home I burst and now I can't stop. I have never felt like this in my entire life. The heartache, betrayal I mean he wasn't even mine to feel this way about but I did and I couldn't stop myself these past eight years I had been loving him silently. He loves his wife, his family but somehow I wish he loved me instead. It hurts so much I think my heart is going to combust in my chest. I have been crying for the past four days only stopping when I cry my self to sleep or gag from the sickening feeling of knowing he doesn't love me. Please god I am begging you make this pain stop I know if he believes you must be real because I need you to stop my heart from hurting. Please!
Elliot's POV
Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time loving both equally with all your heart to the point were it causes excruciating pain. Kathy she is my first love, my wife, the mother of my four beautiful children soon to be five. In a moment everything changed nine years ago on that fateful September day when she breezed into my life knocking the wind out of me. She was perfection. Dark brown hair, olive skin, perfect body, it was like a lighting bolt shooting threw my body when we shook hands and I knew she felt it too I saw it in her eyes. Those eyes, something in her eyes showed me deep into her soul. It was then that I questioned if I knew what being in love was. I knew I loved Kathy but was I in love with her? Then she left me tired of being pushed away and me being angry all the time and it was then that I felt like a failure to my wife, my children, my faith, and to Olivia the other women who had stolen my heart so many years ago. I remembered her telling me once Kathy and I were what let her believe that she to would find someone one day. I had failed her and everyone else and so I pushed my best friend and the one who held my heart away to save her the same pain I had caused Kathy. Then the Gitano case happened and things got worse so she left and I felt empty. After telling her she and the job were all I had left she just walked away because as she put it "to complicated". I was furious that she didn't have the balls to tell me that she would just leave. This wasn't the Olivia I knew this wasn't my liv. But we pushed past it and just started to get on track when she up and left again, this time for the feds. I can not begin to explain the pain that shot threw my chest when her phone came up as being disconnected. She did it again but this time when she came back I would not be so forgiving. Or so I thought but I had changed almost as much as she had those weeks she was gone Danni Beck had done that to me. Made me feel like I could start over, that I didn't need to be handled that I was the one to handle her and for the first time I saw what Olivia had to deal with every day when it came to me and for a second I thought I knew, knew why she left she loved me too and not in the best friend sense but the in love way. I panicked didn't want to feel all of it at once so I kissed Danni to avoid the truth to detach myself but nothing worked I loved her more each day. I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder. Now I had to decide do I take responsibility and go back to my wife or allow my self to go with the feeling in my heart and be with Olivia. God please give me a sign I am so in love with liv I can barley breath but I can't just leave my wife pregnant and alone especially after she asked me to come home. What do I do god what have I done?