Casey's Keeper
By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever
Knocking rattled her door at 3:52 A.M. as Olivia groaned in protest. Maybe if I don't answer, they'll go away, she hoped. But that wasn't the case as the pounding only became louder and faster.
Sighing, she threw the covers off and walked to the closed door. "Who is it?" she asked while hitting the light switch.
"Casey," she answered in a whisper that most wouldn't hear. But Olivia Benson wasn't most people.
Olivia unlocked the deadbolt and turned the knob, seeing Casey standing with her back to her. "What is it?" she asked, her ears picking up very faint cries. But she didn't say a word or turn around in acknowledgement, so Olivia left her door open and walked around to see her face, which was aimed at the floor. "Casey?"
"What?" she asked, looking her in the eyes.
"What's going on? Its almost 4 A.M. If I had a case, you could've just called…" then she got a good look at her facial expression: she was masking it, but the façade was fading, turning into more nearly silent cries. "Come on," Olivia wrapped an arm around her and led her inside to the couch. "Sit," she said as she turned on a lamp.
Nodding, she did just that. "Thank you. I'm sorry, I just I didn't know who else I could talk to."
She yawned. "It's all right. What's going on?"
"How do you this job day in and day out? I've worked on one case, Olivia—one—and it nearly tore me apart. I hate seeing children in fear on that stand. I hate seeing an abused woman recounting her husband's 'nightly ritual' of tying her up and beating her before sodomizing her. I hate it all!"
"It's tough. I'll admit that, but you have to think of the good things that come from it. That woman who can finally sleep peacefully through the night or that child who can go home safer. It's never going to be easy."
"Is there a 'but' coming somewhere in this explanation?" she asked as Olivia placed her hand over hers.
She smiled. "You make them feel better by putting the accused and found guilty away. And that, that's something that should help you sleep."
She shook her head. "It doesn't. I'm just not used to this. Maybe I never will be"
"Casey," she said, scooting closer to her, "it is worth it. I promise. That was only your first case. The tough cases are supposed to get to you. They give you insight, emotion, keep you human."
Unconsciously, Casey's head found Olivia's shoulder. "I'm just worried that if I keep at this maybe…maybe someday, I won't care anymore. I'll get too tired. I'm already exhausted from being up all night seeing that kid crying on the stand. His cheeks coated in tears as he begs me not to make him tell it again. I kept trying to reassure him, but…"
"You're always going to care. You can't work in this unit if you don't. It does get tiring day in and day out. All the strangled, mangled, half-naked, still-live and crying, but someone has to. If we don't, who will?" she asked, wrapping an arm around her.
Casey sighed. "I just…I'm worried I'll break and not be able to be put back together again."
"That's…believable. I've worked here for six and a half years. There were times that I broke down, times when I didn't think I'd be able to get back up."
"So, why did you?"
"Elliot. He pulled me up, protected me at times, pushed me to my limit—and still does. He's always there."
Casey wiped the few tears that ran down her face. "It's good you have him," she said with a sigh. "I wish I were that lucky. I don't have anyone to help me up."
Olivia turned her head. "You do have someone. Why did you come to me?"
She shrugged. "Somehow I guess I knew you'd understand, but I don't expect you to—" before she could finish her sentence, the detective hugged her tight and she felt everything give way as she buried her head in her shoulder and her long, held in tears broke free.
Olivia just sat there, her arms wrapped around the younger, knowledgeable woman rubbing circles in her back. She knew, firsthand, just how tough these cases got and, though she was certain Casey was going to be a priceless gem to their team, the first few cases were always the worst, especially if you had no one to lean on.
"But I will. Let me help you. Run to me. Don't hold back because you're scared," she whispered. "Sooner or later, you'll run to me less and less as you get more experience."
She nodded. "I don't believe I'm never going to run to you if the need of solace arises," she replied, pulling back to look her in the eyes, "but with more experience I might be…less intimidated."
Olivia nodded, wiping her eyes with her thumbs and smiling. "See? You're feeling more confident in yourself already just knowing I'll be here."
"Yeah, I guess so," she said with a smile. "Thank you for listening," she said, hugging her again.
Olivia hugged her too. "Anytime."
THE END
Author's Note: Well, I wrote this at like midnight to 1 A.M. My first Casey/Olivia story! I think it turned out pretty good. What do you think?
Thanks to my Beta:Tiger(dot)Lily(dot)Weasley(dot)757
Please read and review!
Liv-x-Lex4Ever