He tries to blame it all on Clint.
Bruce tells him it doesn't work that way. Whoever had the idea, both Clint and Tony were in trouble. But Tony insists that Bruce's half melted mattress full of arrows is entirely Clint's fault. Bruce just arches an eyebrow and reminds Tony that Clint didn't have arrows dosed with acid until that morning when Tony made them. Tony argues that Bruce wasn't using that mattress anyway. Bruce throws his hands in the air and says that's beside the point.
Clint is laughing way too hard to provide any input on the matter.
Tabloid headlines come with the superhero territory, and Tony gathered more than his fair share before he ever donned his suit. A quick trip to the corner Chinese restaurant for two teammates quickly becomes rampant speculation about whether or not Iron Man is dating Captain America. The rumor would have died a painless death, except Tony enjoys screwing with paparazzi.
The photo of him catching a surprised Steve in a liplock hits all the major gossip rags the next day.
Steve tries to apologize to Bruce, but he brushes it off. Tony gets the silent treatment for a few days.
Natasha asks Tony not to push the issue, but he barrels on through. She warns him to shut up, but he doesn't. Bruce would have warned him not to, but it should be common sense. Really, Tony's lucky he walks away with only a broken pinky.
When Nat leaves, Bruce gives him a lecture about respecting people's emotional boundaries as he sets and tapes the finger. With a feel better kiss, he walks off to speak with her as well.
Nobody pisses off the Black Widow and walks away unscathed. But nobody hurts Tony Stark without hearing from Bruce Banner.
Thor isn't sure what exactly he did wrong. As far as he's concerned, he performed admirably in a combat training situation. Tony is more clear, if the way he's shrinking into the rubble of what used to be the gym is any inclination.
Bruce rubs his temples, trying to keep the Other Guy at bay. Tony chatters on about how it's his house, he can hire contractors, it's no big deal. Bruce just asks why he felt it necessary to destroy one of the team's common areas. The mischievous glint in Tony's eyes tells more than his words ever could.
It happens more often than he'd like to admit. Tony goes downstairs to his workshop and the next thing he knows, it's ten hours later.
This time, the spell breaks when Bruce knocks sharply on the glass door separating Tony from the outside world. He looks up, hair on end and hands stained with oil. Bruce is dressed in a nice suit, and it all comes flooding back.
He'd promised, several times, that he wouldn't forget. Their anniversary was a big deal to Bruce. Tony's mouth moves to form an apology, but Bruce just shakes his head and walks away.
Tony grins unashamedly. Bruce refuses to make eye contact. Nick Fury doesn't know what to do with himself.
It's not every day he walks into the bathroom right next to his office to find two grown men groping each other.
He can't think of a suitable punishment for defiling his bathroom. (Yes, it's his bathroom, everyone knows that.) Eventually, he tells them he's blocking access to SHIELD tech files for the next month. That way they can't dig around in secrets when they get bored. As soon as they leave, though, he realizes he just gave them a new project.