Her smile faltered the moment she was clear of her mother's gaze. She walked
towards the stairs and down them almost in a trance, as words and phrases like "CAT
scan," "hospital," and "overnight for observation" swam through her brain. Suddenly, she
decided that she needed fresh air, so she headed to the back porch. The cold night washed
over her as she stepped outside.
"I'll be okay," her mother had reassured her, but Buffy was still scared. 'How's
that for irony?' she thought sardonically, 'Killed a Master Vampire, and still afraid of a
little hospital visit...' She let the fear come and with it came her tears. She sat on the
steps and buried her head in her hands, unable to get control of all the feelings that
bombarded her. The fear, the pain, the confusion.
She never heard him approach, his steps silent in the night. Her head snapped up
at the sound of a shotgun being cocked a few feet away, but no fear accompanied what
she saw, only annoyance. There he stood, angry and strong, head held high, and shotgun
pointed directly at her head. She wanted to laugh. The perfect end to a perfect day. She
didn't understand how everything had come crashing down so suddenly. Just last week,
everything was fine. Classes were going really well, she was finally getting used to Dawn
and what she really was, and she was training harder than ever, getting stronger than ever.
But now, she had a stab wound from a vamp who should have been easier to dust than
her living room, her mother's 'nothing' headaches were turning out to be more, and she
had a pissed off vampire pointing a shotgun at her. 'What next?' she thought.
"What do you want now?" she practically spat at him.
Something registered on Spike's face at her words that she couldn't place, and she
watched as his brows furrowed as if he was deciding his next move. Before she could
think much of it, his gun was lowered and he'd asked, "What's wrong?"
Unsure how to deal with his apparent care for her tears, she plead the fifth. "I
don't want to talk about it."
She turned away, doing anything not to see the worry on his face, but he
continued to stand before her. 'Why isn't he leaving??' her brain screamed. She was
desperately trying to think of an insult to send him off in a rage, when he took her off
guard again. "Is there anything I can do?"
Unable to respond, even with an insult, she remained quiet, her brain wishing him
away. But Spike, never one to take orders, took a seat beside her instead, placing a
comforting hand on her back. Surprised by his gentility, she was touched. Buffy was on
the verge of turning to him and crying on his shoulder after telling him everything that
was wrong in her life when he removed his hand, almost apologetically.
They had been sitting in a silent truce for nearly ten minutes when Buffy surprised
them both by speaking first. "You came here to kill me." It was meant as a question, but
had come out a statement.
"I did, love."
Buffy had had an instinct that he might come, he had never been good with
keeping his temper, but another question formed in her mind. "Why didn't you?"
Spike barely heard her words and he was shocked at the sorrow in them. The
question itself didn't surprise him, but both her tone and his answer did. He took a deep
breath, knowing she needed honesty more than anything right then, even if she wouldn't
tell him why she was crying. "I couldn't. And not because of this bloody chip, I'll have
you know. I came here hoping to bathe in your blood. But when I got here, you were
sitting here all...and well, I felt..." he paused looking for the words to describe whet she
had brought to life inside him, but decided what he'd said was enough. "I felt, Buffy.
You're sitting here, looking like someone killed your bloody puppy and you made me
feel."
New tears made their way down her face, as her confusion clouded her brain.
"Cor, Slayer, don't do that again. I didn't mean..." he trailed off, unsure how to continue.
He slipped his arm around the tiny frame, pulling her to him. She fell into his arms, still
sobbing, and he held her tight, the need to keep her close overwhelming him. Buffy found
herself bulled into her worst enemy's embrace and clinging to him because it was the
calmest and safest feeling she'd had in days.
This thought pulled her from Spike's arms, almost of its own will. 'Safe with
Spike? Not likely' she thought, trying to bring herself back into reality. When she looked
at Spike, she saw a mixture of disappointment and worry on his face, and she realized he
really cared. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."
"It's alright, pet." He wanted to pull her back into his arms, but he knew better.
"You can cry on my shoulder anytime. Or you could tell me what happened? I'm
assuming you aren't crying cuz I hurt your feelings?" He threw in a patented Spike smirk
to show her he was trying to lighten the mood.
Buffy looked up into Spike's eyes and saw a blue sea of comfort, care, and
protection. And she felt herself open up to him. She didn't know if it was because she just
needed to talk and he was the closest person, or because it was him, but she felt the words
fall from her mouth, just like the tears had fallen from her eyes. She told him everything
that had gone wrong in the past few months. From Dracula showing her how dark her
dark side really was, to her constant training to control the darkness. She told him about
the single vampire that had come ever so close to helping the next Slayer be called. She
skirted around Dawn's involvement, but mentioned the super-powered blonde that had a
fondness for kicking her ass. She ended by telling him about her mother's headaches and
the panic that threatened her calm at the thought of losing her mother. When Buffy's
words dried up, like the tears on her cheeks had earlier, Spike pulled the Slayer's limp
form back into his waiting arms. His body sang with need at the contact. Holding her
close, breathing her in, it was intoxicating, and he never wanted to let go. He rocked her
slowly, feeling her relax into his arms. He closed his eyes and waited for her to come to
her senses and pull away.
In an attempt to console her, as well as to drag the moment as long as possible, he
spoke comfortingly, "It'll be alright, love. You'll see." He lowered his mouth to her
forehead and laid a light kiss there. He pulled away to look at her, gathering the courage
to tell her how he felt, knowing if there was ever a time to tell her, now was it.
When Spike saw that her eyes were closed, it only took a few seconds for him to
realize she'd fallen asleep in his embrace. Smiling at the thought, he lifted her into his
arms, carried her into the house, and up to her bedroom. Laying the blonde girl on the
bed, he watched her sleep for a few moments, entranced by her beauty. He watched as
she snuggled into her pillows, her breath becoming slow and even.
He snapped out of the spell, deciding to leave while he was ahead. He was leaning
in to whisper goodnight in her hear, when she rolled over, and Spike found himself nose
to nose with the woman he dreamed of kissing every waking moment. "Bloody hell," he
cursed her under his breath. After only a moment's hesitation, he shut his bright eyes and
closed the distance between them. He let his lips linger on hers only for a second, in a
light and brief kiss, not wanting to wake her or to frustrate himself. He pulled slowly
away, not wanting it to end, but knowing not to push his luck any further. He walked
across her room, turned back, and whispered, "I love you, Buffy. And I will always be
here to protect you. Remember that, pet. Please."
Spike looked longingly at her sleeping form, loving how she smelled of vanilla
and tasted of honey, loving how peaceful she looked as she slept. 'I did that' he smiled to
himself. He exited the room, through the window, leaving her warmth behind him and
welcoming the cold night.
Had he stayed just a few seconds longer, he would have seen the light smile of
content playing over the sleeping slayer's lips.
towards the stairs and down them almost in a trance, as words and phrases like "CAT
scan," "hospital," and "overnight for observation" swam through her brain. Suddenly, she
decided that she needed fresh air, so she headed to the back porch. The cold night washed
over her as she stepped outside.
"I'll be okay," her mother had reassured her, but Buffy was still scared. 'How's
that for irony?' she thought sardonically, 'Killed a Master Vampire, and still afraid of a
little hospital visit...' She let the fear come and with it came her tears. She sat on the
steps and buried her head in her hands, unable to get control of all the feelings that
bombarded her. The fear, the pain, the confusion.
She never heard him approach, his steps silent in the night. Her head snapped up
at the sound of a shotgun being cocked a few feet away, but no fear accompanied what
she saw, only annoyance. There he stood, angry and strong, head held high, and shotgun
pointed directly at her head. She wanted to laugh. The perfect end to a perfect day. She
didn't understand how everything had come crashing down so suddenly. Just last week,
everything was fine. Classes were going really well, she was finally getting used to Dawn
and what she really was, and she was training harder than ever, getting stronger than ever.
But now, she had a stab wound from a vamp who should have been easier to dust than
her living room, her mother's 'nothing' headaches were turning out to be more, and she
had a pissed off vampire pointing a shotgun at her. 'What next?' she thought.
"What do you want now?" she practically spat at him.
Something registered on Spike's face at her words that she couldn't place, and she
watched as his brows furrowed as if he was deciding his next move. Before she could
think much of it, his gun was lowered and he'd asked, "What's wrong?"
Unsure how to deal with his apparent care for her tears, she plead the fifth. "I
don't want to talk about it."
She turned away, doing anything not to see the worry on his face, but he
continued to stand before her. 'Why isn't he leaving??' her brain screamed. She was
desperately trying to think of an insult to send him off in a rage, when he took her off
guard again. "Is there anything I can do?"
Unable to respond, even with an insult, she remained quiet, her brain wishing him
away. But Spike, never one to take orders, took a seat beside her instead, placing a
comforting hand on her back. Surprised by his gentility, she was touched. Buffy was on
the verge of turning to him and crying on his shoulder after telling him everything that
was wrong in her life when he removed his hand, almost apologetically.
They had been sitting in a silent truce for nearly ten minutes when Buffy surprised
them both by speaking first. "You came here to kill me." It was meant as a question, but
had come out a statement.
"I did, love."
Buffy had had an instinct that he might come, he had never been good with
keeping his temper, but another question formed in her mind. "Why didn't you?"
Spike barely heard her words and he was shocked at the sorrow in them. The
question itself didn't surprise him, but both her tone and his answer did. He took a deep
breath, knowing she needed honesty more than anything right then, even if she wouldn't
tell him why she was crying. "I couldn't. And not because of this bloody chip, I'll have
you know. I came here hoping to bathe in your blood. But when I got here, you were
sitting here all...and well, I felt..." he paused looking for the words to describe whet she
had brought to life inside him, but decided what he'd said was enough. "I felt, Buffy.
You're sitting here, looking like someone killed your bloody puppy and you made me
feel."
New tears made their way down her face, as her confusion clouded her brain.
"Cor, Slayer, don't do that again. I didn't mean..." he trailed off, unsure how to continue.
He slipped his arm around the tiny frame, pulling her to him. She fell into his arms, still
sobbing, and he held her tight, the need to keep her close overwhelming him. Buffy found
herself bulled into her worst enemy's embrace and clinging to him because it was the
calmest and safest feeling she'd had in days.
This thought pulled her from Spike's arms, almost of its own will. 'Safe with
Spike? Not likely' she thought, trying to bring herself back into reality. When she looked
at Spike, she saw a mixture of disappointment and worry on his face, and she realized he
really cared. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."
"It's alright, pet." He wanted to pull her back into his arms, but he knew better.
"You can cry on my shoulder anytime. Or you could tell me what happened? I'm
assuming you aren't crying cuz I hurt your feelings?" He threw in a patented Spike smirk
to show her he was trying to lighten the mood.
Buffy looked up into Spike's eyes and saw a blue sea of comfort, care, and
protection. And she felt herself open up to him. She didn't know if it was because she just
needed to talk and he was the closest person, or because it was him, but she felt the words
fall from her mouth, just like the tears had fallen from her eyes. She told him everything
that had gone wrong in the past few months. From Dracula showing her how dark her
dark side really was, to her constant training to control the darkness. She told him about
the single vampire that had come ever so close to helping the next Slayer be called. She
skirted around Dawn's involvement, but mentioned the super-powered blonde that had a
fondness for kicking her ass. She ended by telling him about her mother's headaches and
the panic that threatened her calm at the thought of losing her mother. When Buffy's
words dried up, like the tears on her cheeks had earlier, Spike pulled the Slayer's limp
form back into his waiting arms. His body sang with need at the contact. Holding her
close, breathing her in, it was intoxicating, and he never wanted to let go. He rocked her
slowly, feeling her relax into his arms. He closed his eyes and waited for her to come to
her senses and pull away.
In an attempt to console her, as well as to drag the moment as long as possible, he
spoke comfortingly, "It'll be alright, love. You'll see." He lowered his mouth to her
forehead and laid a light kiss there. He pulled away to look at her, gathering the courage
to tell her how he felt, knowing if there was ever a time to tell her, now was it.
When Spike saw that her eyes were closed, it only took a few seconds for him to
realize she'd fallen asleep in his embrace. Smiling at the thought, he lifted her into his
arms, carried her into the house, and up to her bedroom. Laying the blonde girl on the
bed, he watched her sleep for a few moments, entranced by her beauty. He watched as
she snuggled into her pillows, her breath becoming slow and even.
He snapped out of the spell, deciding to leave while he was ahead. He was leaning
in to whisper goodnight in her hear, when she rolled over, and Spike found himself nose
to nose with the woman he dreamed of kissing every waking moment. "Bloody hell," he
cursed her under his breath. After only a moment's hesitation, he shut his bright eyes and
closed the distance between them. He let his lips linger on hers only for a second, in a
light and brief kiss, not wanting to wake her or to frustrate himself. He pulled slowly
away, not wanting it to end, but knowing not to push his luck any further. He walked
across her room, turned back, and whispered, "I love you, Buffy. And I will always be
here to protect you. Remember that, pet. Please."
Spike looked longingly at her sleeping form, loving how she smelled of vanilla
and tasted of honey, loving how peaceful she looked as she slept. 'I did that' he smiled to
himself. He exited the room, through the window, leaving her warmth behind him and
welcoming the cold night.
Had he stayed just a few seconds longer, he would have seen the light smile of
content playing over the sleeping slayer's lips.