Author's Note:
The first of many fics co-written by Ekaurii and Midori Jace. Be afraid, be
very afraid.
Disclaimer:
We own dipsquat!!!!!!!!!
School Daze
In a classroom with twenty
students, the G-boyz suddenly appear out of nowhere and are seated at five
empty desks.
Midori: Yeah! My time vortex
worked!
Duo *blink, blink*: Where are we?
Midori: In my class, of course.
Duo: And why?
Midori: Coz I felt like torturing you guys.
Heero: Get us back to where we were or else - *pulls out gun from
spandex space*
Midori *types the crap below on computer*: You can't win. After all,
I _am_ the authoress…
And in this "special"
classroom, all weapons will magically disappear. For example, Heero's guns and explosives and flamethrower and
rifle and self-destruction bomb and daggers will disappear right now. Yes, and Heero will sit quietly at his
desk. Oh nearly forgot, Wufei's katana
will disappear 1..2..3..now
Wufei: Hey! My sword!! How can I uphold justice without my precious
sword? *tries to strangle Midori in his
hissy fit*
Midori *cough, gag*: Ack! *types some more crap:*
And in this little classroom, people (yes, anime people included)
cannot use violence…
Wufei *loses hold on his victim*: INJUSTICE!! *goes into another hissy
fit and rants on about injustice and the worthlessness of the authoress*
Quatre: I thought I was your favourite pilot!! Why would you want to torture me? *gives the
puppy-dog look*
Midori: Aww. Sorry, but I have to torture all of you… but I won't be
too mean… *crosses fingers*
Duo: Why do you _have_ to torture all of us?
Midori: Because…because…*shudder* of this unbearable *eyes dilate and
turns red* BOREDOM!! *reverts to normal* Anyways…
One day, five new students from I donno where came to Ms. Commisso's
class as "exchange students" *ahem*midori*ahem*'s victims*ahem*. They were introduced as (You know their
names). Midori and one of her friends
were chosen to be their guide.
Quatre *points at an innocent looking girl scribbling furiously in a
green notebook*: I've seen her
somewhere before…
Midori: She's gonna help me guide you guys around here. Hey Trowa, you need a line, say this *hands
him a piece of paper*
Trowa *looks at paper and reads it expressionlessly*: oh no. it is
Ekaurii. The girl who put us in the swimsuit competition. …
Quatre: Ahhhhh *goes into insane mode* You will regret that day you put
us in those swimsuits!! Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, *goes to
strangle Ekaurii but gets whacked by Midori*
Wufei *stops his lecture on justice and walks towards Ekaurii*: So this
is the DISHOURABLE ONNA!!! Chang Wufei
will teach her a lesson! *gets a chair and tries to hit Ekaurii but instead get
punched out by her*
Ekaurii *turns around, eyes glinting dangerously*: Yeah! They're all here!! Time for torture!!
Duo: Wow, she punched Wu-man out cold…
Heero *sitting at his desk*: Can I move now?
Midori: No. It's time for the
next lesson. You guys get into your
seat too.
The five boys were seated in the same group as Ekaurii and Midori. And Stop
Midori: Hey Ekaurii! What'd you
do that for?
Ekaurii: Shouldn't we introduce them to our classmates first?
Midori: You do it. *mutters something about Ekaurii's stupid green pen*
Ekaurii: *points to the group near the door*: Over there is where all of our friends are – see, Marta, Meg,
Anty, Nadene, Orangel, and Lisa.
Lisa: *in tone of deepest loathing* Hey, are they from that queer anime
show?
Anty: Gundam Wing or some queer name like that?
Midori: Yes, they do happen to be…
Lisa and Anty: Hmph! *walk away*
Wufei: Unjust onnas
Duo: Our show isn't queer!
Heero: *whispers in Duo's ear*
Duo: Never mind, heh heh heh…
Quatre: *shaking* Is..is…that…a head…hanging there…in the front of your
class…?
Midori: Yes. It's a doll's
head.
Trowa: ?
Ekaurii: Don't ask. Anyway, in
the back of the room are the people of the "other" cliques –Michael, Daryl and
Marc Heller.
Duo: Heller? Is he from Hell
too?
Trowa:… (what's that supposed to mean?)
Duo: It's a pun, a joke! Get
it? Hell-er? Well, aren't you gonna laugh?
Heero: Hn
Quatre *forced laughter*: Heh, heh, heh…
Wufei: That "joke" of yours, kisama, is not worthy to be laughed at
Trowa: Sadly, I agree.
Duo: *pouts*
Ekaurii: Anyways, that group over by the window is also of the other
clique – Christina, Debbie, and Sarah. Those boys *shudder* behind us are Devon, Shawn, Chris, and Jeremy.
Heero: Are you against boys?
Ekaurii: No. I did not shudder
by my own free will. After all, Midori's
the one that's typing this.
Midori: Jeez, I was just kidding. And anyways I made her shudder at the name of Devon the computer freak,
not at the word "boys".
Heero *raises eyebrows*: Computer freak?
Midori: Yes. See? He's just gone to that IMac to play A Bug's
Life or Antz or whatever that crap is.
Heero *runs to the IMac and sits watching Devon play with the computer*
Midori *blinking out hentai thoughts from mind*
Ekaurii: Hentai!! I can see it
in your eyes!!
Midori *blinks rapidly*: No, now shut up.
Quatre: What's so hentai?
Ekaurii: oh, I think someone (possibly Doups, the guy beside me) once
asked Devon how he can screw the computer and Devon said "Well, there's the
floppy drive…".
Wufei: *nosebleeds* What kind of a man is that?
Ekaurii: Oh I nearly missed his gay friend. Sitting right beside Midori there is Gillis.
Midori *magically uses her authoress power to switch seats* Not any
more.
Quatre: What are those toy soldiers that Gillis and his friends are
playing with?
Ekaurii: (crappy sound effects) WARHAMMER!!
Wufei: *perks up* Warhammer? I'm the champion of Warhammer! I
WILL DEFEAT THOSE WEAKLINGS AND SHOW THEM HOW WORTHLESS THEY ARE!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA *runs to join Gillis and the other gayasses*
Everybody: *sweatdrop* Wufei…Warhammer…?
Duo: And who's that fat lady behind the desk? Your teacher?
Ekaurii: Luckily, no. That's a supply teacher. We've had her before.
Midori: We call her the 'Shut-up-Sit-Down Lady'
Quatre: That's mean! Why do you call her that?
Ekaurii: Cos she won't tell us her real name. We can't ask, either.
Quatre: I'll go ask.
Midori: Fine, but we warned you…
Quatre: *walks up the teacher's desk* Excuse me, but can I please have
your name?
Shut-Up-Sit-Down Lady: No. Shut up and sit down.
Quatre: *looks hurt*
Midori: We warned you…
Heero: *returns from the IMac* Hn. He wouldn't let me have a turn.
Midori: Well he is the official computer hogger in our class.
Heero: Is that a laptop I see over there?
Ekaurii: Yeah, it's Deb's laptop.
Duo: She looks dark and gothic-ish…
Heero: *runs over to Debbie*
Devon: Nooo! Heee~~ro!
Ekaurii: *sweatdrops* That sounded amazingly like Peacecrap…
Everybody: *shudders*
Wufei: Now, if I roll a six, my front
line can advance, and I will crush the weakling's army.
Duo: Do you have any clue what you're
talking about?
Wufei: Of course I do. Now be quiet. I
must roll a six… *rolls dice* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! INJUSTICE! A one!
Gillis: Then I'll just roll the dice…
excellent, a four. *moves the little Warhammer men around*
Wufei: Injustice! His Super Defensive
Shnitzel Troops wiped out my Gunner Grappling Hook Grape Troops. He beat
me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Duo: Ha! Wufei lost.
Wufei: And to a weak onna man, too. I am
not worthy to fight *tries to fall on his katana, but remembers that weapons
are outlawed in our classroom* Kuso.
Quatre: Don't worry, Wufei. You will
defeat him eventually. My spaceheart knows.
Duo: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
Wufei: I lost a fight to someone weaker
than me. I am weak. I have no right to fight.
Duo: Whoa, Wuffy, it was just a game of
Warhammer.
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not
call me Wuffy!
Duo: Geez, chill, Wu-man.
Wufei: WU-MAN! You must pay *chases Duo
around the class room*
Shut-Up-Sit-Down-Lady: Shut up and sit
down!
Wufei and Duo: *deathglareX80* grumble,
grumble *sit down*
Ekaurii: What was all that about?
Wufei: I lost a battle to a man weaker
than me. I have no right to fight.
Duo: He lost the Warhammer game to
Gillis.
Midori: Ohhhhhhhhh
Quatre: *watching Warhammer games
intently* So all you have to do is roll the dice and move the men, right?
Chris: Ya
Quatre: *eyes light up* Can I try?
Duo: Uh oh.
Gillis: Sure.
Quatre: *starts playng* Die little
Warhammer men, die!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Midori: Be afraid, be very afraid
(10 minutes later)
Quatre: Anyone else want to play?
Gillis: You already won all our Warhammer
men.
Quatre: Oh. Well, you can have em back
now *pushes HUGE pile of Warhammer men towards Chris and Gillis*
Chris and Gillis: *pounce on the
Warhammer figures*
Quatre: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight *claps
hand to mouth* Was that evil sarcasm? From me?
Midori: Yay! Go Quatre!
Wufei: Hey, where's Trowa and Heero?
Duo: Ya, they haven't said anything in a
while
Ekaurii: Then again, for Trowa, that's
nothing new.
Midori: Still, they must have wandered
off.
Duo: Let's go look for them! *bounces off
enthusiastically*
Ekaurii: Oy
Wufei: Baka…
Quatre: Let's go help him
Wufei: No! Let that braided baka look for
them himself.
Quatre: Fine. *goes to look for Trowa*
Midori: Uh, I found Trowa.
Quatre: Goody! Where?
Midori: There *points*
Trowa: …… *locked in staring contest with
Marta, our own 'silent one'*
Marta: ……
Trowa: ……
Marta: ……
Trowa: ……
Marta: ……
Trowa: ……
Marta: ……
Trowa: ……
Everyone else: *sweatdrop*
Duo: The silence is oppressive.
Midori: Let's keep looking for Heero.
These two will be occupied for a while.
Quatre: Good idea.
(after half an hour of searching)
Duo: Argh! Where could he be?
Debbie: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Christina: What?
Debbie: My laptop's gone!
G-boys (sans Heero), Midori, and Ekaurii:
HEERO! *follow the sound of typing to the storeroom*
Heero: *hunched in a corner, typing
madly*
Duo: Aha! We found you!
Heero: Hn. Baka. *keeps typing*
Quatre: You made Debbie worried! *swipes
laptop*
Heero: *eyes go zero-y* ……
Quatre: *runs away as fast as humanly
possible*
Heero: *chases Quatre as fast as humanly
possible*
Everyone else: *sweatdrop*
Debbie: Thanks for my laptop back,
Blondie!
Quatre: You're welcome. *sees Heero* Uh,
gotta go.
Ekaurii: No, Heero. This plotline is
going nowhere.
Heero: Hn.
Heller: Hey, check out pig-tail boy.
Wufei: Pig-tail boy? INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!
Michael: Looks like he could be Midori's
cousin.
Midori and Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ekaurii: -_-()
Duo: Hey! Long hair is nothing to be
ashamed off.
Heller: *smirk* fine, braid boy.
Duo: *does the big-head thing*
WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!
Heller: Uh, nothing, it looks cool….
Liane: Awwwww, he looks so cute!
Alyson: You're right….
Duo: *blush*
Michael: Hey, braid-boy, come sit over
here.
Duo: Sure. And my name is Duo. I may run,
I may hide, but I'll never tell a lie, that's Duo Maxwell.
Ekaurii: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight
(bell rings)
Midori: Finally! Freedom!
Quatre: School's over.
Ekaurii: Unfourtunately, no. That's only
first recess.
Duo: How many recesses are there?
Midori: Three
G-boys: *facefault*
Authors: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
Ekaurii: Okay, you have two choices. Go
outside and freeze with Midori -
Midori: Playing cards
Ekaurii: *deathglare* OR you can come to
the library with me.
Duo: Library
Heero: Hn.
Wufei: Cards are weak!
Quatre: I'll go to the library
Trowa: ……
Quatre: So will he.
Midori: *all dramatic* Fine, don't go
with me.
Ekaurii: Awwwww, only for fifteen
minutes. Then you can have them back in your clutches.
Midori: Excellent…….
Trowa: Be afraid, be very afraid.
Orangel: Hey! C'mon Ekaurii.
Quatre: Where's she going?
Ekaurii: To the library with us.
Heero: Hn.
Orangel: Heero! *glomps Heero*
Heero: …urk…smeg…
Cherry Blossom: SMEG!
Everyone: *sweatdrop*
Cherry Blossom: What?
Midori: Uhhhhh, you aren't in this fic.
Cherry Blossom: Smeg *poofs out*
Orangel: *unglomps Heero* 'K, let's go!
Duo: She is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too
chipper.
Ekaurii: I agree
Orangel: Library! Now!
G-boys: Yes, ma'am!
(down in the library)
Orangel: OK, we have stuff to do, putting
books away-
Quatre: I'll do that!
Trowa: …… translation: Me, too
Orangel: Sorting
catalogues…
Duo: I'll do that
Orangel: Checking CD-ROMs…
Heero: Does that involve computers?
Ekaurii: Ya
Heero: Mission accepted.
Ekaurii: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
Orangel: But what about Justice Boy over
here?
Wufei: INJUSTICE! I will not be insulted
by a weak onna!
Orangel: *does the big-head thing* WHAT
WAS THAT??????????????????
Wufei: Nothing…
Orangel: Good.
Wufei: I will help Heero.
(G-boys go off and do their jobs, with
Ekaurii and Orangel 'supervising')
Heero: And just add the finishing touches
here…
Ekaurii: Heero! You're supposed to be
check to see if Geometer's Sketchpad works, not designing another Gundam on it.
Heero: Hn.
Ekaurii: *grabs the GS CD-ROM*
Heero: *eyes go zero-y*
Ekaurii: *makes a fist*
Heero: *eyes quickly go un-zero-y*
Ekaurii: Better…
(15 minutes later. Bell rings)
Duo: Shinigami is back from hell!!
Midori: Yay! More torture!!
Orangel: I have a little request…
Ekaurii: What?
Orangel: Well, I'd like to torture
Trieze.
Midori: Sure. *time vortex thingie opens
and Trieze gets dumped unceremoniously on the ground*
Trieze: Itai! *gets up and dusts himself off* Ladies, where am I?
Ekaurii: In our classroom.
Trieze: And why?
Midori: Cos Orangel wants to torture you.
Trieze: My, my, she resembles Saint Une!
Orangel: *punches him in the face*
Trieze: Maybe not…
Wufei: Way to go, onna!
Orangel: You know, Trieze, your uniform
really sucks…
Trieze: I think my uniform is perfectly
fine!
Orangel: I'll make it worse! *chases
Trieze around with her metallic and milky pens*
Quatre: Wow, she's vicious…
Orangel: *sprays Ms. Cina's evil-smelling
perfume on Trieze* Your roses suck
too!!
Trieze: O my beautiful rose scent has
been fouled! ;_; *thud*
Trowa: … translation: I've never seen
Trieze faint before…
Orangel: *evil smirk* Excellent… *drags
Trieze back to her class for further torture*
Everyone: *blank stares*
Heero: That was…pointless
Wufei: That onna is anything BUT weak.
Midori: OMG, was that a NON-chauvinist
sentence?
Ekaurii: Out of Wufei's mouth?
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I
will not be insulted by two weak onnas!
Ekaurii: *punches Wufei out…again*
Wufei: X_X
Duo: Soooooooooooooooooooo……. now what do
we do?
Heller, Mike, Doups: Hey Duo, wanna hang
out with us?
Duo: Sure. *goes off to the evil group*
Wufei: What do we do now?
Quatre: This place is so boring.
Ekaurii: Wanna listen to speeches?
Quatre: Speeches are sooo boring.
Wufei: Injustice! I don't want to listen to speeches!
Trowa: Something tells me we don't have a
choice.
Midori: I don't feel like typing up
speeches right now.
Ekaurii: *leaves the room*
Trowa: ? translation: why'd she
leave?
Midori: Cos I'm in control right now and I say we all go look inside her green
notebook!
Quatre: But that's mean!
Midori: So? *rummages through Ekaurii's
desk and takes out the green notebook*
Will Ekaurii find out about her green
notebook in time? Will Trieze survive Orangel's class? Will this school day
ever end? Will the G-boys survive their visit to Midori and Ekaurii's school?
Will the school survive the visit of the G-boys? Find out next time on -
Ekaurii: Wait, we didn't think up a good
name for this yet.
Midori: Hey! Where'd he come from?
Ekaurii: I hired him for the ending.
Midori: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! You wasted
our money getting an announcer
Ekaurii: You think I'm actually paying
him?
Midori: -_-()