Sometimes, he's more than happy being on the outside looking in.
He loves to watch her; in moments like this, it just consumes him. He stands at the bar, across the room, and waits for her eyes to brighten and her smile to widen as she talks with their friends. Their friends, their family. Some days, he can't wrap his mind around this life they've built together, it overwhelms him.
He's still not used to seeing this side of her; or, more accurately, he's still not bored with it. He's not sure he ever will be. It took four years of proving himself- four years of fights and bumps along the way- before he was allowed to truly know her. Six years, and he still finds new things to fall in love with every day. Of course, they still have their share of arguments, but they're getting fewer and farther in between. He's not even sure he wants to stop fighting with her; if they stopped struggling, it would mean he has stopped learning.
He never wants to stop learning, never wants to stop learning about her. It's not the mystery he fell in love with, it's the woman: the amazing woman that's been revealing a little more of herself to him every day for the past two years, the compassionate woman that cares for his daughter, the righteous woman that makes the world a better place and makes him a better man, the woman that loves him. Some days, it seems surreal.
He knows, deep down, she thinks she's too dark for him, that she doesn't deserve him, but really, it's the other way around. She has become so accustomed to hiding within the walls of her fortified heart that she can't see how extraordinary she is. She can't see how much his daughter admires her, can't see how her strength inspires everyone around her; she can't see how far she's come. He tells her every day how beautiful she is, how strong and stunning and amazing she is; he just wishes the world would tell her as well, maybe then she'd see for herself what he sees in her.
It's been two years, yet he still finds himself completely caught up in his love for her. He knows how he looks, leaning against the bar with a drink in each hand, grinning like a kid, but he can't bring himself to care. He shakes his head as he reflects on how he really is the girl in this relationship, but he can't seem to shake his smile.
He could watch her forever. He wants to watch her forever. He wants to watch her and kiss her and hold her and love her forever. He doesn't want to look away, doesn't want to blink, or do anything that might cause his gaze to falter. He definitely doesn't want to lose the moment, or stir the overwhelming sense of rightness that has settled over him, but he's can't resist the magnetic pull that's drawing him toward her.
She turns around, looking for him, and lets out a small smile when she sees him watching her. He loves that shy, almost vulnerable smile. He loves her irritated but slightly amused, lips pressed smile. He loves her wide and open, honest, happy grin. He loves the ways her deep and expressive eyes sparkle in the light, or when she laughs. He loves her laugh, strong and clear and resounding. He even loves her dark days and her tears (although he hates them so much more). He just loves everything about her- has he mentioned that already?
He chuckles to himself and takes the first step toward her, grinning at her like the helplessly lovesick fool he is; she blushes slightly before laughing as well, unconsciously shifting closer to him. He sets the drinks down and takes her hands in his; the time could never be better. It's happy and intimate and he just loves her so much, and he can see that love reflected in her eyes as well, reflected for the world to see.
He pulls her close, content just to hold her. He's speaking, but he has no idea what he's saying; the words flow from him more naturally than anything he's ever said and he wonders briefly if these are the words he's spent his whole life trying to write. He reaches into his pocket and asks the question that's been filling him up for weeks, waiting for just the right moment.
He closes his eyes, trying to preserve the whole of the moment in his mind, using as many of his senses as he can. He hears her sharp intake of breath and feels her strong yet still delicate fingers curl around the lapels of his jacket. He gasps slightly too, and the joy inside him begins to overflow when he opens his eyes to find a silly grin taking over her whole face as well. His heart stops and his entire world falls into place as she utters one, single word.
Yes.