Chapter One
"I'll get it Shizune!"
Hinata took the spiral staircase one step at a time, she had the tricky task of balancing under the pile of paper-work that had to be taken up to the Hokage's office. A triumphant smile lit up her face at the term she used to describe him, it had been hard to get the hang of it at first, but her Naruto-kun was now indeed Konaha's newest Hokage. It had turned out, true to what many of their friends snugly predicted, that Naruto needed all the assistance he could get with running his office. Hinata, for one, had no quarrels with sparing every one of her free moments helping him out. Even if the bleak reality was that she had been turned into Shizune's personal slave.
Hinata had been quick to snatch her slim chance to make this trip to Naruto's office, and even under the crushing weight of bleached papers, she felt as though her soul soared higher with every step she took. She loved seeing him there, behind that desk, and she was particularly satisfied when she got to watch him delegate tasks to the shinobi that he was so proud to cater for. No, if she was being truly honest, she never really was satisfied when it came to him. She thought she never would be, that she could drown in him and still be thirsty. She had watched him for as long as she could remember but was still excited to wake up tomorrow to do the same.
She fought away her stomach's nervous quivers with each new resonating step. It had been difficult for her at first to grow into a much needed confidence around him, but now she was proud to be able to call him a true friend- and very happy that he did the same.
When she finally approached his office's door, her delicate brows burrowed at the warm glow peeping out at her from the slit above the floor. She worried that he was working himself too hard, putting himself under too much stress. She chirped her happy hello while creaking open the old door, it was an awkward sort of thing to do with her load obstructing her path, but she did so with the grace of a woman.
Hinata handled what came next, to her ultimate surprise, the same way too. With great effort she maintained her composure, swooped down and released her load before quickly shooting back up again and even blurting out a restrained,
"Sorry I should've knocked." Before closing the door and darting off, without slowing down until she was not only clear of Naruto's office, but the entire building as well.
Pausing to catch her breath, Hinata vehemently wished she could exert such firm control over the images her mind determined to replay for her. Vividly she saw once more, against all her will, Naruto's tanned hand entangled within traitorous pink hair. And a female's pale skinny arms snaked around his strong neck, and his gentle free hand resting low on the small of her back.
She was now certain she'd throw up.
'Just try not to kill the girl.'
It hadn't been Hinata who had planned the meeting. She would be sure to use that in her defence when they have to pry her off Sakura's unconscious beaten body.
Ino coughed naively as though by removing some obstruction in her throat she could release the tension that surrounded them. "We're all here so we can calmly," the last word she purposefully stressed, "work things out."
Sakura stared back indifferently at a fuming Hinata, "I'm sorry- I didn't know I needed to hold a counsel before initiating anything in my love-life."
"Sakura," Tenten interjected in a tone of disbelief, "Don't play that card!"
Hinata narrowed her eyes slowly, "It's the only one she's got."
Ino let out a strangled long sigh, "Sakura, with all due respect to your privacy, HINATA IS YOUR FRIEND!"
"I don't see how-"
"Don't you start! I've heard enough before we even begin!" It definitely took some strain to her voice for Hinata to take the uncharacteristic loud tone she now had to use, "You know I love him! And you fully understand what you've just done!"
"Oh? You love him do you? Could have fooled me! It's not like you've ever once made it known to him."
Both the now on-looking Ino and Tenten gasped at what their friend had just said.
"Well, just because you weren't able to hold on to your man doesn't mean you can go after mine." Was Hinata's forceful quip.
Ino and Tenten turned onto their second friend with an absolute look of terror.
"This has nothing to do with- with him!" Sakura had clearly been disgruntled by the cold remark.
"It has everything to do with him! You know Sakura, if you could just look me straight in the eyes right now and tell me that if Sasuke happens to just prance in here tomorrow and swipe you if your little feet that you wouldn't leave with him in a dash without a second thought!"
"I-"
"You're a selfish little pig! And you don't care who you hurt along the way!" Hinata was close to tears now, she knew none of this would do any good to anyone. Couldn't they see that she could barely hold the fragments of herself together?
"Well this certainly hasn't gone to plan..." Ino added to the paralyzing silence that had since ensued.
The girls at opposite ends were both fighting to contain composure; both with glistening, sad eyes.
"The reality is," Sakura said this in a reserved, quiet sort of way, "that Sasuke isn't here."
"That doesn't mean that you have to drag Naruto into your sad drama! Its unfair to him."
"I'm only giving him what he wants! I can't anymore Hinata! I can't just continue on not noticing him!"
"No no, don't you go mixing up can't and wont! The truth is that you're only noticing him now because of what he's done with his life and that's selfish!"
"Fine! I'm selfish and I'm sick then does that make you feel better?"
"I'd feel better if you'd stay away."
Sakura tried to find the few choice words that could travel the expanse between her and her close friend. But to articulate the slow swelling of emotion that she felt for Naruto since that victory hug after the battle against Pein would be impossible. She settled then on explaining her twisted rationalization, the newly formed concept of love which had snuck up on her when she was her weakest; the reason she finally gave in to him.
"I- I just, it feels so good to be loved for a change- he, he loves me and I want him and I'm just too weak now. Just understand that I ca- won't give up on this, no matter what a horrible person it makes me."
That was when Hinata cried, she cursed the small whisper of sympathy at the back of her mind, she cursed pink hair and skinny legs and team seven. She cursed that she had to walk away.
Hinata did what she did best, she hid.
She tried to come to terms with herself, she could no longer linger in his long shadow and that would be just fine. What kind of life was that anyway? She tried to convince herself to relish her new found independence; she tried to cast off the unsettling feeling of being stripped bare. He looked so happy. In those glimpses she had stolen of him she felt as though she had been reintroduced to the sun after being trapped in a grey world. Until she found that this august sun of hers permeated through her and set her lungs on fire, till she found that she was physically unable to breathe.
(All I wanted was to buy some milk.)
"Hi!"
(No,) She refused to believe what was happening, (turn away now you idiot, he hasn't noticed you.)
"Hinata?"
(No! What? How?)
"Are you o.k?"
(Speak! Wake up! Snap out of it!) She shook her head, determined to dislodge her frown and put on a bright smile for him.
"Naruto-kun! It- It's been a while!"
To that Naruto tipped his head back and chuckled as though there would always be joy in this world. (He was joy.)
"You're telling me! Where have you disappeared to?" He absolutely had to pout then, "Shizune has not been happy!" And then he spared her a private wink.
"I uh- had- busy! Lots to do!" Her gaze wandered as she shifted her weight restlessly, even though he would not pick up her subtle hint. (He was too honest for subtle.)
"Well I'll take that as an excuse why you can't show up to the office anymore but it definitely won't explain why we haven't been hanging out anymore!"
(Think! Quick! Make something up!)
"It's a done deal then," He continued brightly, "we'll set the date!"
Because chocolate is the answer to everything
"NO!" Tenten yelled at her best friend, clearly exasperated.
"You're so unfair!" Hinata whined to Tenten, still hopeful she could convince the girl to participate in her plan.
"I'm sorry, but I will gladly decline from sending you to the hospital!"
"But it'll just be so much better than spending tomorrow afternoon with him!"
"You'll survive!" Tenten declared resolutely.
"I'm sorry you're only partially female but a lady's heart is a delicate thing and I swear I'll just-
I love you, I really do!" She cringed away from a soaring pillow, "But don't you understand I wont be able to pull through?"
Tenten didn't much enjoy the role of being the mature one, as far as her and Hinata were concerned, that girl had always been super-woman, "Hinata, honestly babe, you can't avoid him forever! You guys are friends and he takes that very seriously and really he's devastatingly busy so if you just survive this once- you won't have to spend time again with him for months!"
Hinata released a long sigh that seemed as though it deflated her as she collapsed across her friend's carpeted floor.
"I hate you!"
"I'll have fudge brownies prepared the second you come back!"
Hinata moaned like some small, hurt animal and added weakly,
"and vanilla ice cream?"
Setting: A secluded lake
They had slowly picked their way through the adulterating townspeople: past those with cheerful, albeit naive, praise; those with 'urgent' requests and even those few playful children prying for attention, until they reached their secluded destination. It was one they had frequented months before when he hadn't yet stared seeing her. Before Hinata realized that she had un-willingly given too much control of herself to a man who was innocently indifferent.
"Alone at last!"
She thought it tragic that he alluded to nothing by what he said, "Yea." She wondered whether she sounded disappointed.
Naruto was blissfully unaware, instead he stretched out his arms as though embracing the world around him and sighed, long and loud, as though it would expel the burdens that troubled him.
He abruptly turned back to her, "I'm glad we have this place to call our own!"
"Yea?"
"It's awesome isn't it? And do you know what I love most about it?"
If Hinata wasn't so taken by him she would have noticed how he strangely crept up towards her with a smile that was not practiced in concealing sinister schemes.
"Love-" Hinata didn't at all protest to being scooped up by him, nor did she realize what she was in for until he propelled her towards the lake that was a mere five feet away from them.
"The lake!" Naruto laughed out while stripping off his orange shirt and diving in after his victim.
Hinata enjoyed the embrace of the cool water, she allowed herself to be sucked towards the lake's bottom and did not protest when she found that she was being pushed towards the surface once more. When she broke through the divide and entered life's atmosphere once more she snapped her head both ways trying to find him. She then resorted to circling slowly in the water and was even about to activate her buykagun when she spotted him re-surfacing. She was so glad to see him there in the same water as her, wet and struggling for air, circling to find her too.
They spent the afternoon doing what they usually did, splashing in the water or joking around until the sun lost its bright vigour and their stomach's rumbled. The day wound up with Naruto stuffing himself directly from the meticulously pre-prepared picnic basket ignoring Hinata's meek disapproval. He then collapsed onto the ground weakened after the day's activities and with an un-mistakable pain in his stomach which she laughed at and told him that he deserved it while muffling her sympathetic coo.
"Now this is a shame to loose." Naruto said emphatically and as though he was bargaining for a quick stab at her heart he added, "I really apologize for not being able to spend time with you, I promise I'll try better at making more time for you." He smiled sincerely.
And she replied quietly, "I- I'd love that."
What are you cooking up?
Tenten bashed her head into Hinata's kitchen counter, loudly.
"Don't do that! You could hurt yourself!" Hinata remarked while fumbling with the raw vegetables she intended to cook.
Tenten abruptly rose, and as though Hinata's words were the shirukens she trained with daily she promptly redirected the claim at her friend, "You could get hurt! Badly! Actually I'm even willing to bet on it. This is not going to end well!"
Hinata ignored her friend and rummaged through her kitchen draw for the appropriate utensil.
"Are you listening to me? Hinata put that down and listen to me!"
Hinata began chopping the vegetables with a little more fervour than necessary, and she tried with her explanation to cut through Tenten's protests,
"Don't you see that I have to fight for him? I can't live my life just ignoring him... You don't understand how amazing yesterday was. It was like everything in my life had fit back into its place again; we belong together and its the first thing that I've decided to do that's made me feel better about my life in a long while now-"
"Hinata..."
"Tenten... Don't you get it? Weren't you one of those people that pushed me into standing up for myself and never backing down? Well I'd only be lying to myself if I said I had really changed, and I- I can't go back to the way I was."
Tenten bashed her head against the counter once more and mumbled, "You're right... Sure... I want you to- But what if he-" Tenten managed to pull herself upright to deliver her biggest concern for her friend, "What if he hates you for meddling?"
Hinata smiled then, "Don't worry about me! I'm the Queen of Subtle."