I have not stopped writing All we need is Hope, but I wanted to publish this as I have had it saved for a while now. Enjoy and please leave a review. x
She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Every time Tony got close to Ziva, she just pushed him away and went to find another man. Tony always tried to find other girls, his natural charm granted him with many possibilities but they always seemed to not be the girl for him. Either their skin wasn't quite that right shade of oil or their eyes weren't quite chestnut enough, more importantly they weren't Ziva. After years of trying to win her over he finally gave up. He drank every night to try and make his memory of her fade but he couldn't succeed, there never seemed to be quite enough liquor in the bottle to make her go away.
Until the night
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short, but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said, 'I'll love her till I die.'
Tony had had enough; he had nothing to live for anymore. It was late one night at the office and he had just finished his bottle that couldn't make her go away, which for the first time had made him cry instead of shout, so he took the gun from his cabinet and laid his badge neatly on his desk. He scribbled his "note" using a pen he had found on McGee's desk and made his way over to Ziva's. He clumsily took the scarf she had left on her office chair and stumbled out of the building to the street below and held her scarf with her perfect smell on it close to his face. He took one overwhelming sniff and he crumpled to the floor. He drew his gun from the holster on his waist and shot.
The following morning as Ziva took her usual way in to work, her walk suddenly came to a halt; she could see the back of Tony DiNozzo on the floor in a pool of blood. She dropped the coffee tray she was carrying and ran towards him praying that she wouldn't cry, until she found her green scarf tinged crimson red next to his head acting as a sort of pillow and called Gibbs. Her words simply said: alley beneath NCIS building. She lay down next to him and held his body close to hers as she let the tears she had been holding back fall and sobs began to escape. Ziva opened his fingers that were curled up in a ball to try and hold his hand in hers but all she found was a note. The words repeated in Zivas brain again and again sinking in to her skull, she took his hand and sobbed more than she thought possible. When Gibbs appeared with McGee closely behind all they could see was a bloody tear stained Ziva and as Gibbs rushed over to her and held his palms against her cheeks, McGee spotted the body of Very Special Agent DiNozzo and the air crashed out from his lungs. This made Gibbs look over and spot exactly what McGee had and clutched Ziva closer to his body. He guided her up to the building and in to Abby's lab where he notified Abby to take care of Ziva but he didn't tell her why which left Abby very inquisitive and with a very messed up Ziva who was still crying. Abby hugged Ziva tightly; whatever had just happened it was bad.
Gibbs made his way back to McGee, grabbing a camera, some gloves and evidence bags as he went through the squad room. He found McGee who hadn't moved since he had spotted the body and handed him gloves and evidence bags. McGee moved forward to the body and saw the little piece of paper that had had Ziva in such a bad state. 'I'll love her till I die.'
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby
Three days after the incident and a funeral was being held. Ziva had not spoken to anyone since that day and when she did speak it was prayers in Hebrew. Abby was still trying to prove that Tony's suicide was murder but of course she couldn't because it wasn't and everyone knew it. The main thing that was spinning around McGee's mind was the note, his gut and his heart told him who it was referring to but he couldn't quite believe it. As the last hymn was being sung three beams of light streamed down on to the coffin in which DiNozzo lay and everybody knew that the angels had come to carry him away.
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself,
At work, everybody knew about the note and for weeks on end at breaks all of the workers from other teams would get together and predict who the 'her' was in the note. Ziva had taken one week off work after the funeral where she travelled to Israel to visit the graves of her mother and little sister for comfort as what happened to Tony she completely blamed herself for. When she set foot out of the elevator on her first day back the entire room fell silent apart from whispers about whether she was the 'her'. McGee looked on with sorrow filled eyes as he could see in her face that she didn't deserve any of this. Ziva sat at her desk and the room stayed whispering. She reached for her knife in the top desk of her drawer and threw it with extreme accuracy at two women whispering at the wanted board with 1 inch between their heads. As it landed in the gap they screamed and broke apart. Gibbs had been standing on the stairs witnessing it all and ran down the stairs towards the knife. The room completely fell silent, no whispers, and Ziva stood up from her desk, shot McGee and Gibbs an apologetic look and then made for the elevator. She went to the store on her way home and picked up 4 bottles of whiskey and beer.
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time,
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night
That was the last day she was sober for years, during work she would sip some form of alcohol from a bottle with a gym's name wrapped round it and at night she would put on some form of show that she wasn't remotely interested and just drank. At work, the team could see the hurt, anger and blame behind bloodshot eyes. However nobody tried to confront her because none of them understood why she was doing this to herself. The whispers were constant and Ziva knew it. The world she loved was gone and nothing could bring it back.
One night, while drinking her latest purchase of vodka, constant thoughts of Tony shot through Ziva's mind like bullets, causing pain every time they passed through. She decided she had lived enough.
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
She went over to her cabinet where a picture of her and Tony from a birthday celebration one year lay and picked it up while making her way over to her coat stand. This had her ivory green scarf wrapped around it and it was still tinged in crimson red blood. His blood. She drew the gun from her waist and said a short line in Hebrew before pulling the trigger and falling to her knees with a thud.
Life is short, but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
The bullet had penetrated one of her lungs and slowly she was fading. She could off shot herself in the head, it would of made this so much quicker, but she felt like she needed to suffer. Guilt, pain, and blame all ran round her brain but the one that was dominating them all was love. She was admitting to the world that she loved him. She let her head fall to the ground and the scarf covered her body. She was joining the people that she loved most and they were what stopped her from calling for help. She had more strength to join them then to get up and dial for Gibbs. And as darkness began to surround her, all she could see was the angelic face of Anthony DiNozzo.
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
The next morning, the team became worried when Ziva didn't show up for work. They tried calling her but she wouldn't pick up and so Gibbs sent McGee to her apartment. When McGee arrived, he used her spare key to open the door and when the door creaked open, he crumpled to the ground in shock. Ziva David was lying on the floor, dead. He reached for his phone and called Gibbs while walking over to her body. So much blood covered her and the floor. He bent down to his knees and picked up an item he remembered to well from the death of DiNozzo, the scarf. It now had Ziva's blood soaked on it as well, tinging the ivory green and crimson read a slightly pinkish red colour but he looked at it and saw the intertwining of blood and knew that this was an act of love and guilt. He took her hand and found the photo before kissing her forehead and leaving.
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby
A funeral was held and Gibbs with the help of the director, insured that Ziva would be buried next to Tony. Everyone looked on with sorrow. Gibbs quit NCIS, blaming himself for not doing anything to stop or help Ziva. Ducky retired as he knew that all of this pain and suffering was putting strain on his health. While McGee proposed to Abby knowing that his partners were telling him to value love while he had the chance. The angels looked on singing a whiskey lullaby.