Disclaimer: I own nothing except for this computer and my clothing, which is why I'm writing this on the computer and not into the script of the show.
"I swear, there is something going on between those two." said Colonel Potter, shaking his head and watching Margaret Houlihan and Hawkeye Pierce walk away from them.
"Yes Sir," said Winchester from his side, "They hate each other with a passion."
"I used to think that." responded Potter, shaking his head again, "But I don't know anymore. I think that they like each other a lot more than they pretend to."
"What do you mean?" asked BJ, curious now.
"Well, have you noticed that when one of them feels bad about anything, for any reason, they seem to go to the other one? It's like they're the only person who can make it any better. They're each other's comfort zone."
"Well, maybe. It could just be coincidence. I mean, how many examples of that do we have?" asked Winchester doubtfully.
"Well, how about today, in the OR?" said the Colonel. "He started out normally, you know, flirting with her, teasing her. The conversation was full of advances and innuendoes. Then she gave him a look and told him that she didn't feel well, and asked him not to give her any crap today. And he didn't! I remember because I was paying specific attention to him. I didn't expect him to let up on her, so I was going to stop him if he really started going at her. But he didn't. He was especially kind to her today."
"Colonel," said Winchester, "That's just common courtesy. I'm glad that he's starting to develop some."
"Maybe, but there are other times too."
"Like when?"
"I have one!" said BJ. "How about the time when Margaret found out that Donald had cheated on her, and Hawk fell in love with that Korean woman?"
FLASHBACK
"This place stinks."
"Right."
"The food stinks, the liquor stinks, and the smell stinks." Margaret said, sipping her drink.
"You said it." He sighed.
"And the war stinks"
"It certainly does."
She stopped and looked up at him. "What are you agreeing for, you're one of the things that stinks."
"So what are you gonna do?" Hawkeye asked, looking over to her tiredly. She swallowed and looked sad.
"I'm gonna take him back." She looked at him. "What are you gonna do?"
He sighed. "I'm gonna let her go."
Margaret shook her head. "That stinks."
He sighed again. "It certainly does."
END FLASHBACK
"One of the worst moments in both of their lives, and they faced it together." said BJ, finishing his story.
"Yes, well, that could just be that they were both going through bad times at the same time." said Winchester, still denying it.
"Well, how about the time when she thought she was pregnant?" asked the Colonel.
FLASHBACK
"You never fall on a nurse that hard for such a nit-picky mistake," Hawkeye said, helping Margaret out of her surgical gown, "You're too good for that. What's eating you?"
"Nothing." she snarled.
"Come on." he said, "If you can't tell your number one nemesis, who can you tell?"
She shook her head slowly. "I can't...I just can't even imagine that it's true." she whispered.
"What's true?" he asked.
"Would you lower your voice please!" she hissed.
"Is this low enough?" he said, "I'm sorry. I'm using my larynx as a subway station. What is it?"
"Well...I was with Donald about six weeks ago in Tokyo and..."
"Yeah?"
"Well..." she continued slowly, "I think..."
"What?" he asked, extremely curious now.
"I'm pretty sure that I'm...pregnant." she said, looking upset.
"Pregnant!" he exclaimed, excited. "You mean with child? Expecting? Our little Major is going to have a minor? That's wonderful!" He quickly hugged her.
"There's nothing wonderful about it." she said, sitting down on the bench.
"Are you kidding?" he asked, sitting beside her. "All we see around her is death and destruction. Now in the middle of an inferno that even Dante wouldn't buy tickets to, there's a little glimmer of light thanks to you. That's not wonderful, that's a miracle!"
"You know Donald and I are having problems." she said, not meeting his eyes. "This isn't going to solve them. It's only going to add to them! And you know what this means, don't you? Automatic discharge. My whole army career: kaput. This is all Donald's fault."
"Well," he said, sticking up for his gender, "I wouldn't put it all on Donald, I mean, you were probably there at the time." She just glared at him. "Look, what made you so sure?" he asked.
"I have all the symptoms." she said. "Morning sickness, nausea."
"We all have that!" he said. "From the mess tent take out window." She gave him that look of hers and just shook her head.
"There's more. I've been irritable lately." she continued.
"Well," he said, "If you count irritability, you've been pregnant since I've known you!"
"Captain," she said, sounding disgusted, "That time of the month hasn't been that time of the month yet, and that was last month."
"Maybe your watch stopped." he suggested, earning himself another glare. "Look, look. Have you verified this medically?"
"Well," she said, "No lab test...no, but..."
"Well then, what are you guessing for? Why don't we go see Colonel Potter and set up a test, come on!"
END FLASHBACK
"I couldn't believe my eyes, or my ears. It scared the crap out of me having those two in there telling me she was pregnant. I didn't know how to politely ask if Pierce was there as moral support, or to claim responsibility." Potter laughed.
"That doesn't mean anything. She was upset, she would have told anyone who bugged her about it." said Winchester.
"Well, the fact that he cares enough to bug her about it shows that something's going on." said BJ. "How about when she first got back from her honeymoon? She was royally pissed off, and he was the only one who could get her to talk about it."
"Or the time that the 8063rd bugged out and they were stranded behind enemy lines." said Potter.
"You know what happened then?" asked BJ and Winchester at the same time.
"No, but that's what I mean. Who knows what happened...they won't tell anyone. But there was all that smiling..."
"Who's smiling?" the two said again, remembering the night in the officer's club. All three laughed.
"Wait, what about when she lost her wedding ring? Hawk spent 25 bucks on a new one just to make her happy." said Winchester.
"Now you're getting the picture!" said Potter.
"Or all those times that he's just grabbed her and kissed her?" Winchester said.
"Exactly." said Potter.
"Or when we had to bug out to that cave, and Hawk wouldn't go inside the cave, and Margaret was terrified of the loud noises? And what about when that puppy was running around here? Hot Lips loved that dog." said BJ.
FLASHBACK
"Hey, are you OK?" asked Hawkeye as Margaret brushed past him on her way out of the mess tent.
"Leave me alone." she snapped, heading towards her tent.
"What's your hurry? Let's talk a little." he suggested.
"What do you want?" she asked.
"Well, you look all choked up, and I don't think it's the food." he said, trying to keep up with her.
"I don't know what you're talking about, and anyway, it's none of your business." she said.
"It might help to talk. Look, two ears, no waiting." he said. She glared at him.
"Would you stop annoying me?" she asked.
"Fine!" he said, "I thought something was bothering you, and I wanted to help."
"You're always trying to get into my head when there's nothing there!" she said, as they both stopped outside her tent.
"Look, Margaret, sooner or later this place gets to everybody!" he said.
"I don't fall over Captain. Everything around here will be just fine if there's a little less leaning, and a lot more leadership. We need
obedience. We need discipline. Not this chaos. Doctors like you, always out of uniform. Nurses who don't belong in uniform. Dogs running around loose in camp, they're getting run over by jeeps!" she said, almost crying. She turned and stormed into her tent, leaving a bewildered Captain outside. After a moment, he followed her in. "Get out of here!" she ordered.
"No." he said. "Your emotions are all churned up. You're not doing yourself a favour keeping a cork on it. Let it out."
"There is nothing to let out!" she snarled, almost crying. "I am not churned up, I am not emotional. If you want to cork something, go cork your mouth. Go. Will you just go? Go on, will you just..."
"Margaret," he interrupted. "I saw you sneaking food to that dog all week. And this morning it got run over. You're trying to tell me you're not upset by that?"
"I've got people dying all around me! You think I'd get upset because a dog gets run over? Why should I get upset about...about a... little dog." she sobbed. She turned her back on Hawkeye and started to cry, her shoulders shaking from her sobs. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her gently.
END FLASHBACK
"Yeah, I'd say there's definitely something going on between them." said BJ.
"Agreed." said Potter.
"Well, perhaps." said Winchester.
"Why don't we go find them right now and see what they're doing?" suggested Potter.
"Likely both in their tents, sleeping." said Winchester.
"Yeah right. Hawkeye? If he's in his tent, he'll be drinking, not sleeping. But I doubt that's where he is." said BJ.
"Where is he usually?" asked Potter.
"With me." answered BJ.
"Well then, where are you usually?"
"With him." he answered. "Don't look at me that way, I'm serious. There is no real place that we always go, we just go some place.
Sometimes the officer's club. Sometimes Rosie's, I don't know. Just not the Swamp."
"Well, why don't we take a walk over to Rosie's and see if they're over there." suggested Potter.
"Agreed." said the other two. They stopped at the swamp, and at Margaret's tent to see if they were at home, but neither of them were. They walked into Rosie's bar and grabbed a table before taking a look around. They didn't see anyone they recognized right away, so they ordered a drink. When their waitress returned with the drinks, they asked the young women if she had seen Hawkeye or Margaret that night.
"Yes sirs." she said, bowing. "I saw Miss Houlihan and Mr Hawkeye tonight."
"Where?" asked Potter.
"Right over there, sir. They are still there, sir." she answered, then walked away to tend her other tables. They looked over where she had pointed. It was the far corner, and it was fairly dark. They could see two figures, but they couldn't tell if it was Margaret and Hawk or not. They all picked up their drinks and walked over in that direction.
"Colonel!" said Margaret in surprise when they reached the table where the two were sitting all alone. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you guys come in, sir."
"Don't worry about it, Major." he answered. "May we join you?"
"Sure, Colonel." answered Hawkeye for the both of them. "Pull up some chairs."
The three men joined them at the small table, and the five friends drank for hours into the night. They were all sufficiently drunk when Winchester asked, "So, Hawk and Hot Lips, what IS going on between the two of you?"
"Please don't call me Hot Lips." said Margaret.
"Why?" asked Winchester.
"Exactly." she replied, taking another drink of scotch.
"Oh. I see." said Winchester.
"May I answer that question?" asked Hawkeye.
"I don't know, I forget what I asked." said Potter.
"Not you, Winchester. He asked about me and her." he said, pointing at the woman beside him.
"I have a name, Darling." she said, punching him lightly.
"I know you do honey, and I'll call you it when I remember what it is. Anyways, I was going to answer that question, but now I forget what it was."
"Never mind." said Winchester, getting his answer.
"I hope there's no wounded tomorrow." said BJ, the most sober of the bunch.
"Don't worry about it, there's lots of strong coffee around. Besides, Hawkeye operates better drunk anyway." said Margaret. They all
laughed, and continued talking until almost 2 am. They got their wish, there weren't any wounded until almost three the next afternoon, which was plenty of time for them all to sleep it off. They had quite the load of wounded, and operated for 17 hours straight. The three conspirators from the night before ended up in Potter's office for a drink of Scotch before they all went back to bed.
"Hey," said BJ, "Do you guys remember what Hawk and Margaret said last night?"
"They called each other Darling and Honey." said Winchester.
"I'm surprised that I remember it, but I do." said Potter.
"Well then, I guess that answers our question." said BJ.
"It could have just been because they were drunk out of their minds." said Winchester.
"I hate to agree with the sceptic, but that could be the reason." said Potter.
"Well, why don't we go find them and ask them again, now that we're all sober." suggested BJ. They all agreed, and walked back into
surgery. They went into the doctors change room, where they found who they were looking for. They were both sitting on the bench, leaning back against the wall, sound asleep. Margaret's head was on Hawkeye's shoulder, and he had his arms around her. "There you go." whispered BJ. He walked over to Hawk and quietly woke him up, so as not to awaken Margaret too.
"Well, what do you know?" said Potter, shaking his head as the three of them left Margaret and Hawkeye alone.
