The Saint & The Sinner
A Destiel FanFiction
Based around Season 8 !SPOILERS!
Dean/Castiel slash
Rated M & NC-17 for sexual content & strong language
Not suitable for minor audiences
I am not Eric Kripke unfortunately, I do not own SPN. Made for fan purposes only.
Chapter I
"I'm not one for praying', Cas." Dean addressed the empty motel room in barely more than a whisper. His voice seemed to echo loudly off the yellow stained wallpaper and the inside of his eardrums. "But I'm praying now because I need you to hear me."
Silence. Dean ran a hand down his tired face, his stubble scratching the heated skin. The bed creaked beneath his weight as he shifted position, feeling uncomfortable in his own presence.
"I don't know where you are or what you're doing, hell, I don't even know whether you're actually listening to me-" Dean hesitated. "But - I need you Cas, damn it but I do."
Dean started immediately at the sound of the motel door banging open. He leapt off the bed with a surge of hope, turning around to face his brother stumbling through the door carrying two plastic bags.
Sam stopped in the doorway and frowned at his older brother, who suddenly flopped face down on the bed in despair.
"You alright Dean?" Sam asked as he placed his goods on the table. The sure sound of glass on wood suggested bottles of beer that Dean was likely to get through in an hour in his state.
"I'm fine." Dean replied solemnly into the musky motel sheets, before turning over onto his back to eye the plastic bags. "Please tell me there are beers and a cheeseburger in there."
Sam grinned and threw Dean a bottle which he immediately opened and downed half the contents in one.
"Or pie." Dean added.
"Actually I got us some salad wraps." Sam replied as he sat down at the table with one, a bottle of beer and his laptop. Dean frowned.
"What the fuck is a salad wrap." Dean deadpanned, watching as Sam picked it up and began to eat it.
"It's a healthy option." Sam defended. "It's chicken and vegetables wrapped in a torti-"
"You and your bullshit healthy foods, Sammy." Dean rolled off the bed with a growl and stalked over to the table, to inspect his own wrap. "I can't even look at this." Dean threw the wrap back down on the table and reached for his jacket.
Sam watched him walk to the door before he said;
"Where are you going?"
"To get me some pie!" Dean yelled as he made his way out of the motel room.
"I'm going to do some research on the trials." Sam informed him, causing Dean to wince when his brother wasn't looking.
"Fine." Dean snapped, slamming the door behind him.
Dean made his way to the impala, his hands shoved in his jacket pockets. He couldn't do this on his own, he desperately needed-
"Cas." He breathed as Cas suddenly appeared in front of him, dressed in his usual smart suit and slightly wrinkled trench coat.
"Dean." Cas replied, giving him a small smile in greeting before his face turned serious again. "You were praying."
Dean's face hardened.
"So you did hear me." Dean shrugged past him to jam the key into the lock of the driver's side. He wrenched open the door with the familiar creak before turning to face Cas, who was watching him with a perturbed expression.
"I don't understand." Cas said simply. "Do you still need my assistance?"
Dean rolled his eyes.
"Yes, now get in the car before Sam hears us and comes out." Cas was in the passenger seat before Dean even began to climb in the car.
"I hate it when you do that." Dean muttered.
"So, why were you praying to me, Dean?" Cas asked, his round blue eyes gazing at him intently, and somehow the expression invaded Dean's personal space.
"Space, Cas."
"I apologize." Cas said, leaning back so that his head was leaning against the cool glass of the window. "I did not think we had issues with 'personal space' anymore."
Dean's head whipped round, and he found himself blushing in the dark of the car.
"I we-" Dean stumbled over his words before forcefully starting up the engine and reversing out of the motel parking lot without answering.
"You're troubled." Cas stated after five minutes of rather intense silence as they sped down the road, Dean's eyes glued to the illuminated road in front of him.
Dean's grip on the steering wheel hardened, and he was silent for a few moments before he said;
"I think I've made a huge mistake." He managed to force himself to say. Admitting it out loud made him flush with embarrassment.
"You should not have gone to Crowley, Dean."
Dean suddenly slammed on the breaks, nearly forcing Cas through the windscreen.
"You spoke to Crowley?" He demanded with a growl, and Cas seemed to shrink back into his trench coat slightly.
"I don't have to speak to demons Dean to know that you have been making deals with them in your spare time behind your brother's back. Behind my back." Dean opened his mouth to speak but Cas cut across him; "You're my charge Dean, I watch you all the time."
Dean looked away; suddenly uncomfortable in the condensed space of the impala's front seats.
"I need your help, Cas." Dean whispered, bringing his thumb and index finger to the bridge of his nose.
"You made a deal with Crowley to switch places with your brother in these trials because you thought he couldn't do it when in reality, it's you who can't do them." Cas summarized, sending Dean a wary glance. "You're not the sinner you think you are."
"I've been to hell, Cas. Damn it I've been to damn purgatory. Only sinners go there." Dean yelled, and Cas' face fell. Dean looked away guiltily before lowering his voice. "I didn't mean-"
"I know what you meant." Cas replied quietly.
"I only made the deal to protect Sam, Cas." Cas looked at him with a sigh. "It should have been me, damn it!" Dean hit the steering wheel in anger. "But now I realise I can't do these trials, they weren't meant for me. Now I've endangered the entire planet, yet again."
"You might be a righteous man and you might have been Michael's vessel once but there is a reason that God has chosen Sam. I will try my best to reverse Crowley's deal."
"How are you going to do that? If I don't die in these trials I'll die in ten years."
"I won't let you die, Dean. Not again."
They sat looking at each other for a long while before Dean felt a flush creep up his spine. He cleared his throat and started up the engine again.
"Sam doesn't know. He can't find out what I've done. Not yet."
"He will find out, you know you cannot keep this a secret from him forever."
"I know but damn it Cas give me some time."
"I won't tell a soul, I promise." Cas said, his hand twitching at his knee, like he wanted to reach out and touch him. Cas restrained himself; and Dean felt his heart ache.
Just an idea I had rustled up some time ago during Season 8 and abandoned. I have recently found it again and thought I'd post it. It's not meant to be a one-shot but I haven't decided if or how I'm going to continue it. Opinions?