AN-Little note, for this story to work Brian never had cancer. Other then that it takes place post season five.

He couldn't get the image out of his mind it was never a full image and often came to him when he was sleeping, but he could remember blonde hair and a smile a smile that made him smile. It was warm an inviting it was, home.

And the most beautiful blue grey eyes he had ever seen. It was almost like an image that would haunt him both day and night. The look in the eyes seemed to be pleading, begging, but for what he didn't know.

He sighed and rolled over in his bed glancing next to him he frowned, Alex wasn't there. That didn't matter often he tossed and turned to much and Alex would get up and start cleaning the house or doing some other chore that hadn't been done that day.

He looked up at the ceiling thinking of Alex's eyes they were born, Alex's hair was brown there was no hint of blonde anywhere. He loved Alex with all his heart, but the image of blonde hair and blue grey eyes wouldn't stop playing in his mind. And Alex had a beautiful smile, but it wasn't the lips he dreamt about.

"Daddy!" a child's voice called as the sun began peaking in through the window. He groaned and knew he would have to get up soon.

"No rest for the wicked." Alex's voice sounded from the door as a child's footsteps could be heard running to Brian's bed. The child jumped up onto his father.

Brian laughed as the kid jumped into his arms, "No sleeping in?" he asked.

The child grinned, "You said you'd take me to the club today."

"I did, did I?" he asked

"You did." He nodded

"It's all he's been talking about." Alex said walking over to the bed and lying down next to Brian planting a kiss on his lips. "Go get dress hun." Alex told the boy. The child hurried from the bed and out of the room excited for a day with his father. Then Alex brushed some hair out of Brian's face and put a soft smile, "You were tossing and turning all night."

"Sorry." He muttered

"No need to be sorry, I just wanted to see if you were alright."

"I'm fine, I promise." Brian replied kissing Alex as he grinned and glanced down placing his hand on Alex's stomach, "How did I get so lucky to have a beautiful wife like you, with a beautiful son and a daughter on the way?"

Alex grinned, "Some guys have all the luck." She leaned down and kissed him and he pulled her down on top of him she let out a squeal as her husband surprised her.

Brian smirked as he watch his five year old son try and grip the golf club trying to learn how to play golf. The child swung, and missed. Brian chuckled and walked over, "Like this." He showed the boy how to stand and helped him swing, the ball didn't go very far, but it still wasn't a miss. The boy smiled,

"I did it daddy!" the child jumped up and down, "I did it."

"Mr. Kinney." A males voice said as a golf cart pulled up, "I didn't know you were coming to the club today."

Brian turned to look at the new comer, one of his business associated. "Just teaching my son some golf."

The other man began talking, but his attention changed from the two on the golf cart to a guy in the background helping a couple with their clubs. The other man has his back turned, but he had blonde hair playfully being tossed around in the breeze. His heart seemed to beat faster. He couldn't understand what he was feeling, he couldn't understand why he felt this way or even why he couldn't take his eyes off the back on the blonde male.

"Daddy!" Tristan's voice broke through his thoughts. "I got it in."

The blonde turned around and for some reason Brian's heart sank. The male had blonde hair, but not those beautiful blue grey eyes or even the lips. He didn't even understand why he would be disappointed that a guy wasn't the image in his mind that wouldn't stop his heart from racing quickly.

"You did." He grinned as he picked his boy up, he turned away from the blonde male and looked at the others, "I'll see you boys in the office, I promised the day to my boy."

The other men nodded with smiles and drove off to their next hole. Brian put Tristan down in their own golf cart and drove off with the child laughing next to him.

"I still can't believe he just walked away from this." Emmet said as he let himself fall down onto the sofa in the loft.

Justin shrugged, "He wanted to go find himself again." He sighed, "Brian wasn't meant to be tied down we knew that and called off the wedding."

"Still I thought you'd be the only one running away to a new city not him." Ted said chiming in.

Justin shrugged, "You know him he does his own thing." He remembered the last time seeing Brian, remembering his ex partner still stung at times. He had thought when they said good-bye it wouldn't be a good bye forever but a see you later. They had stayed in contact for a few months, but now six years later they hadn't spoken much. Justin hadn't come home until now six years after he left. He was now a successful artist like he had always dreamed about, minus Brian by his side. "Anyways my mother told me when he moved he took his name off the deed of this place and put my name on it." His sighed, "He was never planning on coming back."

"But knew you would." Emmet sighed.

Justin shrugged again, "It doesn't matter I have a boyfriend now, and we are serious." He glanced at a picture on the wall, it was of himself smiling and Brian's arms wrapped around him. Justin was smiling and Brian, well Brain was smirking.

"So Linz hasn't even heard from him?" Justin asked, "Not one word in six years?"

"No before he left she said he came to her and said good bye to Gus and that he needed time to figure out who he was, that was the last time anyone has heard from him, even Mikey."

"I just want to know if he's alright." Justin said softly fearing the worst. He knew Brian was the type that would suffer alone, what if he was sick? What if he was sick and didn't want to seem like a burden on those around him? What if he went away to die? He shook the thoughts from his head hating himself for waiting so long to come home. He shouldn't have gotten mad when Brian stopped contacting him, he should have gotten worried, but no he had gotten insulted and hurt and tried to forget Brian.

Brian put his hand on his head as he put a pill in his mouth and drank some water to wash it down.

"Head bothering you again?" Alex asked worried as she placed her hand on her belly it was just starting to show a baby bump.

Brian gave her a soft smile; "You know I get them ever since the accident."

She walked over and put her hand on his shoulder and rested her chin on him hugging him from behind. "Maybe you should just go get it checked out."

As her hand wrapped around his waist it felt s soft pain in his head, he closed his eyes and in that moment for just a quick second he saw a flash of blonde hair smelled cologne different from his own. He shook his head, as the pain became a light thud in his head, "I'm fine." He turned around in her arms so he was facing her had kissed her. "Promise."

She smiled, but still showed a hint of worry, "By the way your mother is coming for dinner."

"Dear old mother." He smirked it had been a while since they had last seen her, she only visited every couple months since she had married Alex and had Tristan. She always seemed so happy when she visited and often spoke about how god was happy because his soul was saved. Half the time he didn't listen to his mother when she rambled about god, he only assumed she was happy he had married and finally started a family. Apparently his sister had started a long time ago and she was younger then him.

He didn't remember anything from before his accident. He woke up in a hospital to his mother sitting by his bedside; those days were still hard for him to recall the doctors said he had brain trauma and that his memories would possibly come back in time, but there was a possibility they never would.

They hadn't not in the past six years, but his mother had helped him through the whole thing, let him know his was living a sinful life of being a playboy brining to many girls home at night, but never a good girl. He couldn't remember anything his mother told him it all felt like she was talking about some other person, but while he was recovering he met Alex and he was drawn to her in the end they fell in love got married and had their son and now another on the way.

He had the perfect life, he was happy. Most of the time. He still wished he could remember his past he still wished he could remember everything he forgot. It seemed he had no friends from before the accident, he wondered what that meant of his previous life. He was happy with his wife she was beautiful the type of woman every guy wanted, but deep down he couldn't understand why something felt off something didn't feel right.

"Daddy!" Tristan ran into the room, "I had so much fun today."

"That's good Gus." He smiled, but then frowned, "Tristan." Why had he said Gus?

"Are you sure you're alright?" Alex asked placing her hand on his forehead.

"I'm just going to lie down for a bit before mother gets here." Brian sighed taking her hand slowly off his head.

"Alright." She replied, "I'll finish dinner."

AN- So what do you guys think, review and let me know what you think. I'm new to this fandom so if parts don't line up correctly or a detail gets switched around that is why.