Hey y'all! It's been years since I've posted a story (or updated one for that matter!) I deleted my previous stories in hopes of revamping them and finishing them but until then hopefully this will stay current! I only have a few things to say about this story...

1) I MISS FNL

2) Still peeved they didn't have Tulie end up together (they are PERFECT for one another!)

3) In love with Suits (the USA show)

4) I'm a bit rusty, sorry for layout issues and paragraph issues...

xoxo

K

She really had to stop doing this to herself. She knew he wasn't good for her. Why then was she up at midnight knowing she had to be up at 6 for work, because it was him. As much as she wanted to let him go she couldn't. He was like a drug and she was addicted.

12:15am, true to form there was a knock at her apartment door. Well at least he was consistent. She wrestled with the idea of ignoring it, but as always in the end she answered it. He stumbled in clearly intoxicated but then again so was she, though hers was due to him and his was obviously due to his personal mission of keeping the local pub afloat with his business.

She closed the door behind him and he turned pressing her against the now locked door. Cradling her face in his hands he kissed her softly, she tasted the whisky on his breath but pushed everything aside and kissed him back.

He slipped his hand under her pajama top to trace the bare skin just above her hip bones, she shivered at his touch and he chuckled. Snaking his arm around her back he lifted her until she was off the ground, knowing where this was going she wrapped her legs around his waist and let him carry her to her bedroom.

It took them another 5 minutes just to get there due to the stops when he couldn't keep his hands off her and she wasn't willing to stop him. He tossed her onto the bed like she weighed nothing, she giggled at his playfulness and remembered why she always opened her door to him. He climbed on top of her and kissed his way up from her knees to her throat taking her cami along with him, she shifted so he could remove it completely. Satisfied with her state of undress he rose to his knees and followed suit, the feeling of his toned warm chest pressed up against her was almost too much. Most of their late night trysts were like this but she always told herself she could walk away at anytime, but when that gravelly voice made it's appearance she knew she stood no chance.

He never rushed her, or pressured her. He was always eager to make sure she was having just as good of a time as him, and she always did. His slow kisses gave him an opportunity to remove the rest of their clothing but due to his inebriation it wasn't graceful. The fact that he had to be in this state to come over for this wasn't lost on her, she just chose to ignore it. Her heart couldn't take the scrutiny from her head, and at the moment it was hear heart winning the battle.

He hovered over her kissing her neck and dragging his tongue over the sensitive area just below her ear "God woman, you tempt me." It was the first thing he's said to her since he's been here, it only took 20 minutes, might be a record. She said nothing instead answering him by lifting her hips to meet his, "I've been waiting all day for this." Her response was more hip action inciting a groan from him, she smiled at her success. "Talk to me baby, I haven't heard your voice in days" the slightly slurred request was an easy one to fill. "I didn't realize you missed it so much." The hope in her answer was completely lost on him, or maybe he just chose to ignore it. "I always miss you." She almost laughed at that. Thankfully the talk was over as he focused his attentions on her chest. She couldn't contain the moan that escaped her lips, she could feel him smile against her breasts. He worked his way up to her jawline nipping playfully, he positioned himself at her entrance while he furthered his attack on her mouth. Before long she was at her high point, his mouth crashed on hers taking her full lower lip between his teeth and biting gently. She let go and held on as pleasure shuddered through her entire body, he didn't give her much time to recover as he picked up the pace. He pushed toward his own release and she found another before he was through.

He rolled off her and pulled her to him, she snuggled into the crook of his arm and before long they were both asleep.

She woke first about 2 hours later, his arm still securely around her but loose enough for her to look up at him. The light from her window outlined him perfectly, his lashes were something most girls would die for. She laid her head on his chest gently in hopes to not wake him. Her efforts were in vain as he stirred a few minutes later. She pretended to be asleep as he tried to carefully slip out from under her, he put a pillow in his place hoping she would stay asleep. It was ironic really, she wanted to keep him asleep to stay and he wanted to keep her asleep so he could go. She had to use all her will power not to sigh in defeat, she stirred and rolled over to see him slipping his jeans on. Taking the moment to appreciate his distinctly male figure, she was only human after all.

"It's late, why not stay the night" she whispered, he stilled realizing she was awake and his perfect getaway was not so perfect. "Babe, I would but I have to get home before work in the morning. Next time for sure" he said as he pulled his shirt over his head, once his boots were on he sat on the bed over her. She had put her pajamas back on while he was dressing, he came up behind her and slipped his hand under her shirt to caress her bare skin. He kissed her neck softly whispering empty promises of next time in her ear but she tuned him out. She pulled away without looking at him, after she heard the door close the tears began just like clockwork.

So why, why did she insist on this vicious cycle. She never seemed to win, she was in love with him. He was in lust with her but only when he was drunk enough to go through with it. Tomorrow would begin the same cycle, the one that ends with her vowing to never let it happen again. To stand up to him and tell him no more, if he couldn't or wouldn't take all of her in a serious relationship then he could find another bedmate. She made the vow again, hoping this time was different.

Her alarm went off way too soon and she begrudgingly got out of bed. She replayed the events from the night before but all that did was send her into a state of depression. She knew what he was doing was wrong and if it were one of her friends in her position she would tell them to turn and run, that they were better than this. They deserved better, she knew she did too but his draw was too intense. She needed him like oxygen.

She dressed for work and headed out the door, the weather was starting to warm up as it was nearing the end of May. Atlanta had been wonderful when she moved here 2 years ago, that was in November and the weather was beautiful! Then summer came and she realized why she loved Texas, dry heat at 117 degrees was way better than 95 with 95% humidity. She got on the bus and had a while before getting to work, her thoughts drifted to her family and friends in Texas. She missed them, missed the familiarity of everything. The old Cheers song came to mind, Dillon was that place where everyone knows your name. It's funny to think that was the reason she wanted out, she wanted a place where she was unknown and could start fresh.

Her feelings for him started early, and did nothing but grow. She told him once at his graduation a small piece of how she felt, he smiled at her and kissed her cheek but said nothing. He left the next week for pre-season camp at University of Alabama. She said then that she was done, and for awhile she was. She went to Tennessee State after high school on an academic full ride, she got her teaching degree and was offered a job shortly after at North Atlanta High School teaching English.

She heard he graduated and was offered a 3 year contract with the Cowboys, 3 years later he was traded to the Atlanta Falcons. A year later he spoke at her school on his life as a Dillon Panther and coming from nothing, emphasizing that all it took was hard work and determination to achieve their dreams.

She stood near the back and watched him, he only got better with age. His muscles were always well defined but they were that of a teenage boy, the man she stared at easily had 3 inches and 30lbs of muscle on his former self. He exuded masculinity.

He went from class to class that day to meet the kids and sign autographs, she remembered him walking into her classroom.

"I hope I have the right room this time" He said glancing down at his paper, she straightened up at the sound of his voice. They were in the middle of a pop quiz so she sat in the back, immediately there was chaos, her senior boys couldn't contain themselves and the test was forgotten. They hounded him with questions and autograph requests. Even her girls were not immune, he was sexy as hell and she couldn't blame them. After a minute he looked up and they locked eyes. His mouth dropped and his eyes ran appreciatively over her form, she rolled her eyes and gave him her best teacher "Are you kidding me right now?!" face. He smirked in return. He told the whole class about how close he and their teacher were growing up and that she meant business so they better pay attention. They had major doubts looking between the adults in the room, she smiled and confirmed their "friendship" and she could feel her coolness factor rising.

The bell rang but he lingered "So, teaching huh?" She couldn't tell if he meant it as a compliment or not. She tried not to let it bother her that she cared one way or the other, "Yep, it's been about a year now." She avoided eye contact and prepped her next class, his proximity was making her nervous. She put this all behind her and now seeing him again was bringing all those feelings back and she did not like it one bit. "Are you free later? I'd love to take you out to dinner and catch up" she looked at him then and the look in his eyes felt like home. She didn't stand a chance. "Uh, sure. Maybe 7? There's a great Mexican restaurant on H street, I can meet you there?" she had to have some ground rules. He agreed and after an awkward hug he was gone.

Little did she know then but that one dinner would turn into a few more and she'd find herself in the same position she did in high school. She tried to end it with a silly excuse of "not enough time" but he saw right through it and called her on it. He weaseled the truth out of her one night over wine and canolis. "I told you back then and you kissed my cheek and left, my feelings haven't changed. I just learned to push them down to get on with life" he didn't kiss her cheek that time. He pulled her into his lap and brought her lips to his, he tasted like heaven but that may have been the wine. He wound his fingers in her hair and pulled exposing her neck to him, he kissed and nibbled and teased as she moaned his name. Nothing else happened that night but it wasn't long before he contacted her again, this time after a party in celebration of a Falcon win. He came over smelling like a liquor cabinet and kissed her breathless. She laughed at his state of inebriation and helped him out of his clothes, then along the way he helped her out of hers.

Since then every few weekends or so, while he's in town she gets the same text. And every time she says it's the last, and the whole cycle starts over.

Her week passed quickly since it was a testing week and she didn't have any course work to grade. Thankfully she was spared the battle of heart and mind that week, knowing he was on a PR tour. Her nights consisted of One Tree Hill reruns, cabernet and mint chocolate chip. It wouldn't last long so she relished the balance of her heart and mind.

The following weekend, around midnight her phone sang Don't say it doesn't matter cause it's gonna matter to me, I can't be alone with you . She put that as his specific message ringtone in hopes that it would remind her that she couldn't get out of this without losing part of her heart. Trouble was, her heart was already in it so weather she pulled out now or continued on she was going to lose. She reached for the phone "Hey babu, I mis you. Are you bisy tnight?" She could tell by his mis-typed text that he was already a few sheets to the wind. The battle continued, her head said no but her heart said yes and Julie reminded herself that a little Tim was better than none, right?