Title: Homesick

Sequel to "Star Bound"

Rating: PG

Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Jamie Griffin (original female)

Category: Romance and Otherwise

Status: Completed

Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Qui and Obi and everything Star Wars.
Not me—George! Don't sue me; I didn't make anything off this fic.
Jamie's a real person; so don't use her unless you ask her first, ok?

Summary: While she's been there for over a year, Jamie is still
getting homesick, especially when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are sent off on
a mission. To escape her feelings, she decides to take Master Yoda's
advice and train with the Jedi. Will they finally accept her for who,
and what, she is?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Part One: "Time to Choose"

Jamie Griffin woke slowly, rolling off her left arm. It was numb from a night twisted under her stomach. She rubbed it lightly, making it tingle. She looked around as the gentle light in her quarters steadily increased, mimicking the rising sun outside the Temple.

'May as well get up now,' she thought to herself. Her clothes were laid out on the chair next to the bed, cleaned from her activities the day before. Jamie pulled them on slowly, suddenly recalling what her old clothes had felt like. Her eyes flickered to the man lying on his side in the bed next to her, sleeping still. Tenderly, she brushed his long Padawan braid over his shoulder.

"I love you, Obi-Wan," she whispered. Silently, she slipped from the room and headed right down the corridor towards her favorite sanctuary, the Room of a Thousand Fountains. The green reminded her of her home planet. She breathed in the clean, fresh air that circulated throughout the room due to the plants. She was so relaxed that she didn't hear another's approach.

"Troubled, you are," remarked a dry, gruff voice behind her. "Only come here, you do, when sadness, your heart holds."

"Master Yoda," Jamie acknowledged, turning around slowly. "Yes, I am troubled. The nightmares plague me every night when I close my eyes."

"Nightmares?"

"Yes. Master, I know when and where and how both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan will die. I know the same things about you. The knowledge of these events rips and tears at my heart, threatening to drive me to insanity and depression." Yoda's half-closed eyes widened at her confession.

"Help you with this, I cannot. Want to know, I do not. Tell anyone these things, you must not." Jamie nodded her understanding and bowed slightly to the small Jedi Master.

"I wish for nothing more than the knowledge to be forgotten, yet I cannot forget."

"Yes." Yoda cleared his throat. "Report to Training Room 3, you will, after eaten, have you." Jamie struggled to hide her surprise at his command. She was not a Jedi, and so was not allowed to use the training rooms during daylight hours when the real Jedi may have need of them.

"Of course, Master." She bowed, masking her surprise, then turned swiftly and left the room as silently as she'd entered it. As the door closed noiselessly behind her, the comlink at her waist beeped insistently. She pulled it from her belt and depressed the button to activate the audio connection.

"Jamie? Where are you?" Obi-Wan's voice sounded harassed.

"I just went for a walk. Master Yoda accompanied me. I didn't think it would be right to wake you after the long night you had, Obi-Wan. I'm on my way back. I'll be there in a moment." Jamie flicked off the link and replaced it on her utility belt. Not being a Jedi, she was not allowed to carry a lightsaber. Instead, her belt held the standard Jedi Field Kit, a vibro-blade, her comlink and its pouch, and a Healer Field Kit (somewhat like a first aid kit; modified with bacta and some good, old-fashioned Tylenol). Her clothes were like those of the Jedi, only a lighter shade. Her boots were not as tall, and under her tunic, she wore the t-shirt she'd retained from her home planet. Some days, like today, she only wore the inner, softer tunic, instead of the double tunics. Her pants were standard issue, nothing new. Her over-cloak was too big, as everyone else's was. Hers had more pockets, smaller, and sewn into the lining. Her sash was a unique pattern, as she'd made it herself. Master Yoda would say she'd woven her life into that sash. And he was probably right.

Jamie hurried down the corridor, passing the senior Jedi students and younger Padawans stumbling sleepily off to breakfast. The door to the quarters she shared with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon was open, and Obi-Wan was poking his head out to see if he could catch sight of her. She walked past him into the main room and keyed in the sequence to close the doors. Qui- Gon appeared from his own bedroom wearing only his pants. Jamie reddened very slightly and looked at Obi-Wan. He didn't have his tunics on, either, but she'd gotten used to that. Qui-Gon, she would never get used to seeing half-naked.

"Good morning, Padawan, Jamie. Slept well, I trust?"

"Yes, thank you, Qui-Gon. And you? I noticed that the two of you came in late," Jamie replied. Neither man would meet her eyes. Jamie sighed and grabbed Obi-Wan's chin. "Look at me," she commanded, forcing his face upwards. "Tell me why you won't meet my eyes."

"The Council is sending us on a mission, Jamie. To one of the Outer Rim planets, and no one knows how long it will take."

"And you won't meet my eyes because...?"

"Well, you must stay here."

"So be it. I'm not a baby. I'm not dependent. Go, you must. Come back, you must as well." Her words echoed what Yoda had told them the night before. Obi-Wan smiled weakly.

"I'm glad you don't have a problem with it. I remember when we first got you here. You followed one or the other of us around like a little lost lamb for over three months," Qui-Gon remarked, smiling at the memory. Jamie smiled impishly.

"Yeah, well, I'm a big girl now. Go put a shirt on," she demanded. She turned and shot the same remark at Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon left the room, smiling mischievously. Obi-Wan glanced at her, and then went to do as she'd said. Qui-Gon came out a moment later, both tunics securely in place. His eyes sparkled.

"One of these days, Jamie, I'm going to make you blush a full red instead of these frail pinks you seem so good at." Jamie barely colored, and grinned in response.

For you to do that, Qui-Gon, you'd have to parade in front of me naked, she replied silently. His eyes widened slightly.

You're getting good at that.

I should be. There's not much to do around here when you're not allowed to use the training rooms, you've read all the books in the library that you care to, and the holo-vids are getting repetitious. Meditation only goes so far. Her thoughts were clear and true.

"Master, I'm going to breakfast. Are you going to eat with the other Masters, or are you going to come eat with us again?" Qui-Gon's face had become a regular sight in the dining hall in the morning. His smiles were more common as well. The students didn't know what to make of it, but their teachers knew all too well. Obi-Wan's love was a good influence on both the formerly reticent, taciturn Master and his awkwardly silent Padawan. Obi-Wan talked almost incessantly, Qui-Gon grinned from ear to ear and played small pranks on the elder Jedi Knights. The students were delighted because it meant that their classes with the other teachers were livelier. Everyone was infected by the happiness that seemed to follow Jamie around.

Jamie, on her part, didn't even realize the changes she'd unknowingly wrought over the Jedi Temple. She was blissfully ignorant. However, she had built quite a following in Obi-Wan's former classmates.

Besides him, Jamie's best friends were a Calamarian named Bant, and a human named Siri. The former was expected, seeing as Obi-Wan had once been Bant's best friend as well. The latter was a shock to many. Obi-Wan and Siri were notoriously opposed to each other. They did not get along, only cooperating when it was necessary to do so. Siri was, in many ways, closer to Jamie than Obi-Wan.

The blonde girl moved over to let Jamie in. Obi-Wan grabbed them both breakfast, the same fruit they ate every day, and sat down on her other side.

"So, Jamie, what are you going to do for the next few weeks?" Siri asked her. "All the available Master-Padawan teams are being sent to different planets to search for Force-sensitivity."

"Probably sit in my room and make faces at the wall." Jamie received the laugh she'd intended. "Honestly, Siri, I don't know. Maybe work on the exercises that Qui-Gon's given me. Practice fencing with my blades, that sort of thing. Maybe go visit Didi. I haven't seen him and Astri in a long time." Jamie kept on listing activities as she ate her morning fruit. When she was finished, she ended her list and got up from the table. "Excuse me, please. I have an errand to run." She left the dining hall swiftly, not noticing the silence that followed her out.

It was a matter of minutes before she arrived at Training Room 3. The door was open, so she peered in, and immediately saw Masters Yoda, Mace Windu, and Ki-Adi-Mundi. Mace's dark eyes stared right through her, but Jamie had learned not to flinch.

"Master Yoda, you wanted to see me?" she asked softly, bowing to the three men respectfully. In her year at the Temple, she'd come to know them, and she respected what she knew.

"Speak with you, we would."

"Yes?"

"Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon praise your fencing skills. We wish to see them for ourselves," Mace Windu replied. He tossed her the hilt of a lightsaber. Knowing enough of the weapon, Jamie turned it on. A beam of ice silver shot out the end. Jamie swung it experimentally. It felt right in her hand. She glanced at the three Masters and suddenly got the feeling that much more was going on than she realized.

"I am to fence against what?" she asked, figuring they were going to make her start against a probe droid.

"I am your opponent," Mace replied, activating his own weapon. Both were set on low power so that neither one would hurt the other. Jamie frowned slightly, feeling ripples around her. She was not so apt at utilizing the Force as a Master, or even a real student, but she did have rudimentary skills. The sabers crossed in the air and suddenly, Mace Windu leapt backwards. Jamie followed with a ground to sky sweep and instantly reversed it, forcing him to block her. She untangled the lasers with a hiss and a sputter and swung the blade in a reverse crescent move to his left side. When he moved to block it, Jamie reversed in midair, coming in with a right crescent sweep. The lightning in the air was almost tangible.

To gain himself room, Mace flipped over her head to try to come at her from behind. She stopped that attempt with a flip of her own- to his left side. She swept his feet and blocked his response blow. Their blades tangled with a sputtering sound. While their blades were locked, Jamie swept out with her foot, knocking him off-balance. She leapt back as he lashed out his own foot to trip her.

Slowly, habit took over, and Jamie began mixing fencing styles. She was in the middle of a kendo kata routine when her mind suddenly switched to European fencing and she swept the area in front of her clear as if she was fighting with a rapier.

Jamie couldn't tell how much time had passed since she'd begun, but she knew she'd been fighting for a while when she felt the sweat trickle down the sides of her face. She knew better than to swipe at it- that only gave her opponent a chance to attack her. She blinked rapidly and cleared it away before it could sting her eyes. She leapt around Mace's left side and slashed at his unprotected arm. His lightsaber came up a split second too late and it was knocked from his hand. It fell to the floor, deactivated and Jamie placed the tip of her weapon against the side of his neck.

The only sound in the small room was the soft sizzle of her lightsaber and her labored breathing. She had tapped strength reserves she hadn't even realized that she'd possessed. It was exhausting, but it felt good. She stepped back and deactivated her own weapon. Her hands were slick with sweat that now ran freely down her face and back. She felt decidedly sticky.

"Obi-Wan did not lie," Ki-Adi-Mundi remarked at last, his voice a quiet whisper in the room. Mace Windu collected his lightsaber and nodded his agreement. "Your skills are incredible. No one has beat Mace in a fencing match in over three decades." Jamie blushed a pale pink, and bowed humbly.

"He was not accustomed to my styles of fighting, I suppose," she whispered, trying to control her breath speed. Her heartbeat was slowing and her breathing returning to normal.

"No, your skills with that weapon are extraordinary. Though not a Jedi, you beat me, a Master, with my own weapon. That is a commendable effort, and is one that deserves a reward." Now Jamie was turning redder. She was not used to praise from anyone, let alone three of the Masters that served on the Jedi Council.

"Long have we debated. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon feel you deserve to carry the Jedi weapon. It was unthinkable- a woman with no Jedi training, who is the only one from her planet; carry the sacred weapon of the Jedi? However, their defense of you was strong, though you did not know it. The choice is yours, Jamie. You can train as a Jedi, and carry a lightsaber in your defense. Or you can retain what you know now and carry a vibro-blade."

"I will think on it, Masters," she replied, softly. Jamie knew that a hasty choice now might be her undoing later. She bowed and left the room silently. Outside, she tossed decorum and dignity to the wind and ran down the hallways until she reached her own room. The door was locked, so she keyed in the security sequence and the panel slid open.

It was empty, as she'd hoped it would be. She removed her sweaty clothing and dropped it all on the couch in the main room. Then she hurried into the fresher for a shower. It dragged on and on while she debated with herself over the choices she had. She wanted so much to be accepted into the Jedi community, but if she was, would she still have a freedom to do what she did now?

Suddenly, the hot water turned cold and Jamie left the shower. It took her the work of moments to dry herself off and pull on fresh clothes. She went to her study; the extra room the two Jedi had given her for privacy. She made sure to lock the door, and then she sat at a small desk and pulled out a durasheet. On it, she wrote a list of reasons to accept, and on the back, she wrote a list of reasons to decline. The reasons to decline were much shorter, but it contained the one thing she wasn't willing to give up. Determined to find out if her fear was reasoned or not, Jamie pressed the call button on her comlink for Master Yoda's own.

"Questions, have you?" he asked immediately upon answering.

"Yes, Master. Will I lose my freedom to live as I have been?"

"Encouraged, freedom is," he replied. "Study with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, you would. Not as a Padawan, but as a student."

"I see. My decision is made for me, then. I accept your offer to carry the weapon of the Jedi."

"Accepted, you have. Training, you will begin."

Part Two: "Didn't Even Know It Was Lost"

Jamie held the lightsaber in front of her, feeling the air move and her senses expand outwards. Her control of the Force was stronger than it had been two weeks ago when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had left on their latest mission. She wasn't supposed to start her training until they returned, but her homesickness had bubbled to the surface once more and she had gone to Master Yoda for help. He started her training with the highest lightsaber classes. That had been the day before. She was used to fighting without her eyes-sweat had dripped into them more than once, making her fight blind. The blindfold was nothing new. It did keep the sweat out of her eyes, making it better for her. Today, they were using blackout hoods to work on cooperation exercises in pairs.

Jamie was paired with one of the only Padawans that wasn't out scouring the galaxy on a mission. Obi-Wan's friend Reeft. The Dresselian was a good partner, and they cooperated very well together.

Jamie felt the air over her head sizzle and rolled away from the seeker droid she knew would fall to the floor. Sure enough, where she'd been standing, two halves of the black droid thudded into place. The last seeker droid in the room fell to her lightsaber as she sliced it in half two meters to Reeft's left. The blackout hoods were removed, praise was given and the students were sent to wash for supper.

"You're getting better, Jamie," Reeft remarked as they headed down the corridors towards their rooms. "Your command of the Force is growing stronger rapidly. I'm sure that when Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon return, they will be very pleased with your success."

"Thank you, Reeft. Your skills are sharp as well. You will certainly be a great Jedi some day soon." Reeft's already wrinkled face wrinkled even more with her praise.

"Master Adi Gallia was right about you Jamie. You do bring light and life to these gloomy halls." He took her hand and squeezed it gently before splitting off into a different corridor to go to his own room. Jamie continued towards her quarters. The door opened at her approach and she shut it behind her, keying in the sequence to identify visitors before they entered.

Jamie had stopped going to dinner the week before. She found it too noisy without Siri, Obi-Wan, or Bant to talk to. She didn't eat hardly anything anyway, and gave most of her meals to Reeft. It was better to eat in quiet and peace, alone in her quarters. It was also easier to meditate when the whole of the Jedi population wasn't thudding through the halls.

"I haven't been to the library recently," she murmured aloud as she exchanged her soiled and sweaty tunics and pants for clean ones. She left the room silently, and walked down the corridor to its end before turning left onto the learning hall. She knew that the library was somewhere in this hall. She only had to recall which door.

After three dead ends, she started peering into each room she passed, most of them classrooms. She came to one with a security pad below a retinal scanner. Placing her eyes in front of the scanner, Jamie heard a soft clicking noise as the door slid open. Inside, the walls and ceiling of the domed room glittered with trillions of stars and planets. Jamie gasped as she realized what she'd found.

Reaching up, she touched a star near the door. The door slid shut, revealing more stars, as a quiet voice told her what she was looking at. "Tatooine. Outer Rim territory, run by the Hutts." The voice went on to describe the planet's features and government and monetary system.

"There's so much that I don't know," she whispered, reaching out to touch a particularly bright planet. A different voice began to describe Coruscant. Jamie waited until it finished, then crossed the room and touched another. Around the room she went until she saw a particularly isolated star and group of planets that seemed newer than the rest. She touched a random planet.

A familiar voice reached her ears. "Mars. The fourth planet from Sol, in the unexplored Milky Way Galaxy. Uninhabited. Home to ice caps and red soil rich in iron." Qui-Gon's voice told her the air pressure, gravity and the components of the atmosphere. Jamie felt tears on her cheeks. She pressed the planet next to it and heard Obi-Wan's voice.

"Earth. Third planet in the Sol system of the unexplored Milky Way Galaxy. Sub-divided into over one hundred countries, governments and monetary standards. Approximately one hundred languages spoken. One sentient species: humans. Low technology standard. Membership to the Senate nonexistent." Jamie felt her eyes overflow then. They had added her home system to the library, not knowing if she'd ever find it, not knowing if she would care. That gesture spoke volumes of their love for her. Time passed as Jamie listened to Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan tell of all the planets in the Sol system. Then she left, her eyes dry, her face streaked with tears.

It was a slow walk back to her room, avoiding any and all people who might want to speak with her. Alone in her quarters once again, Jamie collapsed onto her bed and fell almost instantly asleep, a smile curling her lips.

She woke up five hours later, the lights throughout the Temple set on minimum. She rose, shook out her clothes and left the room, once more heading for the library. This time, she knew exactly which door to go to. She let it scan her eyes and entered, closing the door behind her. The only light came from the stars and planets above and around her. She went directly to the system that housed her own home and pressed the Earth again.

As Obi-Wan's voice filled the room, Jamie smiled. She'd lost a home, then gained one. She'd lost family, friends, and gained them. She had found her center, her calm, and she hadn't even known it was lost to her.