A Boy's Point of View
Me: Right. I am here to give you a few male Harry Potter character's point of view in one topic, a topic that females like me will never understand the way males see it: Romance. Ain't it screwy? (No, I don't know where that phrase came from.) Female readers will find this a lot more interesting than about 90% of male readers. *holds up clipboard and pencil* Let the interviewing begin!! Hmm... *looks at list on clipboard* Harry Potter. *goes up to Gryfindor Common room* Harry Potter!! I have some questions for
you.
Harry: Not you again!
Me: No, it's okay. I am surveying male boys' point of view on romance!
Girls in Common Room: *intently listening*
Me: Nice try, everybody out but Harry! This is a private survey!
All but Harry and Me: *exit*
Me: So, Harry! First, I want your opinion on romance. Good? Bad?
Harry: I don't know! Get out of here!
Me: Answer! Or I'll tell Cho something you won't want her to hear.
Harry: Fine. Romance? It's.. good, I guess.
Me: M-hmm. Are you in a relationship so far?
Harry: No!
Me: I see. Are you in a rush to go into one?
Harry: I don't think so.
Me: Any girls you've had your eye on?
Harry: N-no! Of course not!
Me: Mm-hmm.. *writes down "Cho Chang" on clipboard* OK. WORD ASSOCIATION! I say something, and you say the first thing that comes to mind.
Harry: OK.
Me: Hermione Granger!
Harry: Brainy.
Me: Ginny Weasley!
Harry: Normal!
Me: Right. Cho Chang!
Harry: Uh, um, er, that is--
Me: Come on! First word that comes to mind! Come now, all of the readers know already..
Harry: Pprreettyy..
Me: Parvati Patil!
Harry: Popular!
Me: Pansy Parkinson!
Harry: Pug!
Me: Moaning Myrtle!
Harry: Ugly!
Me: Thank you! That'll be all. *checks off Harry's name and steps out of common room and finds Ron*
Ron: Agh! Not you!
Me: Quiet. I have a survey for you to take!
Ron: I don't want to!
Me: YOU HAVE TO!! I HAVE AUTHOR'S PRIVELAGES!! (A\N: For those who haven't read my Stupid Story of Stupidity fic, I have a sack of Author's Privelages. It is this magic that makes me, the author, make the characters do anything I want them to do)
Ron: Fine! What's this survey about?
Me: Romance in a boy's point of view!
Ron: No way!
Me: Author's Privelages..
Ron: *sigh* Fine. First question?
Me: OK! Your opinion on romance. Is it good? Bad?
Ron: I don't know.. I guess it's good. Not for me in particular, of course...
Me: Right. Are you currently in some sort of relationship?
Ron: *disgusted* Me? No!
Me: I see. In a rush to go into one? *raise eyebrows*
Ron: No! So quit it!
Me: Aww.. Hee, no, I just kid. Any girls you've had your eye on?
Ron: W-what? No!
Me: Whatever you say. Now, time for word association! I say something, and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Be as quick as you can. You don't even have to think about what you're going to say before you say it.
Ron: Right.
Me: Hermione Granger!
Ron: Hot!
Me: What's that?
Ron: ImeanImean.. Er-- I, ah--
Me: That's what I thought you said. Ginny Weasley!
Ron: MY SISTER, YOU BLOODY LUNATIC!
Me: I knew that. Cho Chang!
Ron: Seeker!
Me: Parvati Patil!
Ron: Has a not-nice twin!
Me: Pansy Parkinson!
Ron: Dog!
Me: Moaning Myrtle--
Ron: --likes Harry!
Me: OK! That'll be all! *checks Ron off list* Draco Malfoy! This should be interesting. *goes into Slytherin Common Room with no need for password*
A Random Slytherin: Who are you?
Me: *holds up badge* Fanfic author. Everyone out, with the exception of Draco Malfoy.
Slytherins: *muttering stuff as they exit*
Draco: You! Get out of here!
Me: I have a survey for you to take!
Draco: No way! Not after that other fic! YOU TRIED TO DROWN ME IN PEANUT BUTTER!
Me: Take the survey! I have Author's Privelages!
Draco: I'll regret this..
Me: Great! It's a survey about what Hogwarts boys think of romance.
Draco: Ugh..
Me: OK! So.. Romance! Good or bad?
Draco: No comment.
Me: Aww, be a sport!
Draco: *sigh* It's a thing of life. It's not good or bad. No comment.
Me: OK. Are you currently in a relationship?
Malfoy: Nope. All Malfoys wait for the opportunity of a worthy girl, then hook, line and sinker.
Me: *raise one eyebrow* I see. In a rush to go into one?
Malfoy: Ahem. Like I said, we wait for someone worthy.
Me: Any girls you've had your eye on?
Malfoy: LIKE I SAID, we wait for--
Me: Fine. WORD ASSOCIATION! I say something and you say the first word that comes to mind.
Malfoy: Are we almost done?
Me: Hermione Granger!
Malfoy: Bitc--
Me: Language, Malfoy!
Malfoy: Fine.
Me: Is that your answer? Hermione Granger is fine?
Malfoy: NO! I was merely agreeing with you! *shudders at thought*
Me: What's your answer?
Malfoy: Bossy, self-centered, brat.
Me: Oh, ok. (A/N: I NO LIKE DM/HG! Don't get any ideas! Thank you.) Ginny Weasley!
Malfoy: Typical.
Me: Cho Chang!
Malfoy: Who?
Me: Parvati Patil!
Malfoy: WHO?
Me: Pansy Parkinson!
Malfoy: Shameless flirt.
Me: Moaning Myrtle!
Malfoy: WHO?!?!?!?!
Me: Thank you! Bye! *checks Malfoy off of list and leaves Common Room* Next on list, Neville Longbottom! *back to Gryfindor Common Room*
Harry: *sees me* What do you want now?
Me: Where's Neville?
Harry: *points*
Me: *drags Neville out of Common Room*
Neville: What? Hey, you're--
Me: Ya, I know who I am, thanks. I need you to take a survey.
Neville: OK.. What's it about?
Me: Romance!
Neville: N-no, I'm not the type that--
Me: I know you aren't. But take it anyway.
Neville: OK.
Me: First question! Your opinion on romance-- good, bad?
Neville: Well, I really didn't-- er-- experience a lot of Romance, so I'd say it's sort of a neutral. I'm not sure.
Me: Fair enough. Are you currently in a relationship?
Neville: No.
Me: In a rush to go into one?
Neville: Oh, probably not.
Me: Any girls you've had your eye on?
Neville: Er-- well, I actually-- the thing is--
Me: I understand. *writes "Yes" on clipboard* Now, some word association! I say something, and you say the very first thing that comes to mind.
Neville: OK.
Me: Hermione Granger!
Neville: Helpful.
Me: Ginny Weasley!
Neville: G-Ginny? She's--
Me: I get it. Cho Chang!
Neville: Isn't she in Ravenclaw?
Me: Parvati Patil!
Neville: Normal.
Me: Pansy Parkinson!
Neville: You mean Malfoy's date?
Me: Moaning Myrtle!
Neville: Who?
Me: Thank you! *checks Neville off on clipboard* That's it! And the results are..
Questions:
What is your opinion on romance? Good? Bad?
50% said it was good, and 50% said they were unsure.
Are you in a relationship so far?
100% said they weren't.
Are you in a rush to go into one?
75% said they weren't, and 25% said probably not.
Any girls you've had your eye on?
100% said they didn't but 75% lied!
Word Association:
Hermione Granger
Brainy, hot, bossy self-centered brat, and helpful.
Ginny Weasley
Normal, MY SISTER YOU BLOODY LUNATIC, Typical, and G-Ginny? She's-- (translation: I like!)
Cho Chang
Pprreettyy, Seeker, Who?, and Isn't she in Ravenclaw?
Parvati Patil
Popular, Has a not-nice twin, Who?, and Normal
Pansy Parkinson
Pug, Dog, Shameless flirt, and You mean Malfoy's date?
Moaning Myrtle
Ugly, likes Harry, WHO?!?!, and Who?
*****
What do you think? Should I do one for girls? Please review!