Chapter 1 : Back to Hell

"Soooo... When can you get out ?" Ron looked at him with interest.
I paused a bit, unsure of what to say. Pomfrey did allow him to leave and usually he would jump at the occasion, but attending the feast right now felt like a chore more than anything.

"Hmm, probably tomorrow, I mean, she can't keep me for the holidays right? You should just go, I will be fine."
And eating alone in the kitchen will be way more enjoyable I'm sure.

"Sure, see you tomorrow Harry ! You coming Hermione ?"
"You can go first I want to talk to Harry about something before leaving, keep me some food!" Ron seemed curious at first but his stomach won in the end and he left quickly. But Hermione was still watching him like a hawk

"Care to explain why you judged necessary to lie Harry? I talked to Madam Pomfrey ten minutes ago and she told me you were allowed to go."
Hu-ho. This definitively wasn't planned. After a moment he decided to tell the truth.

"I just don't want to show myself in front of everyone. I've heard the rumors..." He sighed. "They all think I'm crazy, and i can't blame them, it's a bit unbelievable. They all think he's dead after all. I should never have told that he was back in front of everyone but i wasn't thinking straight. And that's only for those who don't think i just murdered Cedric so i could win. You add to this the very vocal support of Fudge that this is impossible even after he just ordered the kiss on Crouch Jr who was supposed to be dead and well, I prefer to stay low. And I still can feel the effects of the cruciatus and will probably feel it for quite a bit of time if what Pomfrey said is true. And.."

"And this is the end of the year." She finished. And 'You will be back there' was left unsaid but Harry knew she was perfectly aware of it. "Harry... is it really so bad there ? I know you don't like to talk about it but surely if it was enough the teachers.."
"Hermione." My voice sounded a bit colder than I intended. "Look, I'm the smallest of the year, girls included while my Dad was apparently slightly taller than average and my mother was quite tall. I'm also the thinnest. When i was ten and the school doc thought i broke my arm, she wrote to them asking if I was sick because my weight was dangerously low. They answered that I was just a capricious brat who just wanted to eat sweets. The summer after our first year, the twins and Ron found me in my room with bars on the window and the door locked. You are a smart girl Hermione I'm sure you can figure it out." And then I left her, speechless, until I found myself in front of the kitchen entrance. I'm greeted for the first time by an army of house-elves completely focused on their tasks. It's quite fascinating how they employ their magic compared to us. Since I've seen Dobby defend me against Malfoy Sr, I've often wondered why they are so underestimated. They don't need wands and they can become crazy when the people they serve or respect are threatened.
Wizards are probably too arrogant to accept that they could be useful. I decided.

The next morning, we found a compartment, and we were soon joined by Neville and Ginny. Like always I didn't really was in the mood to talk and they left me to my thoughts.
Which were quite diverse. I found myself ranting in my head, not understanding why I'm still going back there when He is back. Isn't it dangerous? Why is He so obsessed with me? I once again asked Dumbledore and I got the usual 'you're too young blah blah blah' and it annoys me to no end. That's one thing I remarked too. I feel angry a lot more since that day. I know I'm impulsive but still... sometimes it feels too much. Weird. Another thing that I find quite important is that I don't know anything about the war that my parents fought in. Binns is really damn useless. And I should stop thinking about this because I feels myself becoming angry. Again.

"What's wrong Harry? You just keep sighing since we left." Hermione asks. I frown. She is too damn observant sometimes.

"I was ranting about how our history class is awful." They all look at me like I was a stranger. "It' true! I mean, I don't know anything about the war against Voldemort, except the part about blood purity. But it seems not enough for me to declare a war. A psychopath that would target them, even a small group I can see, but a full war ? It doesn't seem right."

Hermione looked pensive and I can see her thinking too that something is missing. Neville is looking at me with indecision on his face and after a moment he opened his mouth to talk but Ron interrupted him.

"Why? You-Know-Who was crazy, everyone know that. He probably did this just to have an excuse to kill as much as he wanted!" Well, I'm definitely not convinced. Yes Voldemort is a fucking psycho but from what I've seen, he feels like a man with convictions. It means he has a goal. I see Hermione looking doubtful too. I know she thinks the same. And Neville in the end didn't say anything. I felt the frustration coming back and I decided I needed a distraction. I wanted to visit a certain pair of twins anyway..

"Hey guys" I announced myself.
"Hello Harry!" They replied together. They are looking at me with worried eyes. That's what I like about them. It's always pranking, not bullying except if you deserve it. And they know when to get serious.
"You are still decided with that joke shop plan of yours? If you are I may have something to help you." I can feel their interest spiking.
"We are listening!"
"Well, I can do two things for you. First is this." And I took out of my pocket a shrunk bag of gold. "This is what I won with the tournament. A thousand galleons I think? I don't know how much you need but it's probably enough to get started. If you need more I suppose I could invest a bit but I don't know how much I actually have in my vault..what?"

They were gaping at me. Ooh that's not often you can surprise them like this.
"Harry, that's A LOT of gold. You don't know the currency between a Galleon and a pound do you?" Georges said softly. Fred is still shocked and doesn't even look at me.
"Well.. no, but I know I have a lot more, it's not like I will starve because of it. The second thing I can do for this is to mail Sirius. We told you the story right?" They nodded. "What I probably didn't tell you is his surname. Wanna Guess? Remember that his animagus form is a big black dog. You probably could mail Professor Lupin too. They were friends at school. With my Dad too. Who was a stag animagus by the way. And I supposed with Pettigrew the rat. You see they were quite the pranksters in their youth.."

And I see the light in their eyes. I tried to stay stoic but in the end I can't stop myself from grinning.

"No way!" "You're joking!" After a good laugh, I finally left them discretely while they were still chatting completely surexcited.

The train finally arrived at destination. I resigned myself to take off my robes and wearing only the rags, still way too large for me, three years after Dudley became too big for them. I saw Hermione looking sadly at me and I quickly left the cabin. I'm definitively not in the mood to be pitied. All I want is leaving or I will snap and I will tell things I will regret later. So I'm just walking towards the passage and with a quick goodbye, I walked through and started looking for my uncle.

The travel was.. uncomfortable to say the least. Vernon seemed already angry when I arrived. And I'm tired because I can't sleep properly since Pomfrey stopped giving me dreamless potions. In the end I fell asleep listening to Vernon ranting about his work. At least it explained why he was so angry.

"Boy!" I woke up instantly, my heart beating like crazy.

Joy. Can't even take a nap without seeing Cedric getting killed. And Vernon was still looking like he wanted to explode at someone. With my luck that someone will be me.

"Take your stuff and put it in your room! Hurry up, and then start dinner!" I started pulling my trunk and my arms screamed at me. I remembered Pomfrey telling me to go easy for two more weeks and I laughed a bit. If it was that easy. I then started preparing dinner and of course Petunia chose something boring to cook. And time-consuming too. Exactly what I needed.

Well, I did it. I knew it would happen. That damn pan was way too heavy for me right now and I ruined the dinner. And before I could salvage the situation Dudley sadly heard me.

"MOM! The freak wasted the dinner!" And I can see his eyes gleaming. He knew what was coming. Petunia opened the door and screeched. I pinched my lips and forced myself not to say anything bad.

"Sorry, I'm injured, I only got out of the hospital yesterday and my doctor said I shouldn't carry anything heavy for at least two weeks.."
"Oh?" Vernon's voice. I looked at him and I winced internally. That was soooo not the thing to say. He looked so angry I could see the vein on his head and for a moment I wondered if he was gonna have an attack. And then he punched me. I definitively didn't see that one coming. I felt myself being carried out of the kitchen, still trying to understand what was going on.

"Tell me boy, what good are you if you can't do a thing? You think I'm gonna feed you while you will keep being the lazy freak you are? I don't think so!" I see him undo his belt and I vaguely realize I will need to dodge but Dudley take me by surprise and kick me. I hear a familiar cracking sound while losing my breath. I don't know if something broke or not but my ribs hurt so much I think for a moment I'm gonna die. And then I see Vernon swinging his belt at my face, just before I feel another kick and the last thing I heard was Petunia screaming at her husband :

"Vernon! Not his face!