A Night with The Man He Loves
A/N A oneshot that sounded like a good idea. Hope you enjoy. Please review.
OOOOoooo
Dean sat alone in the hotel room. Sammy was out pounding the pavement asking questions about the missing persons. He was supposed to be the one staying back and doing the research. Normally it would be the other way around, but Dean just didn't have it in him today. His six-foot frame was reclined with his feet propped up in the chair opposite him. The computer screen showed evidence of where he'd started looking into what connected the victims, but he'd stopped, unable to really focus on the task. And why couldn't he focus? he silently asked himself.
The answer to that question wasn't a hard one. It was the same thing that was always bothering him. The thing that was constantly over him like a black cloud. And the answer pissed him off more than he'd care to admit. So, he ran his hands over his face and blinked trying to focus. What was the connection? What did all these people have in common? Sammy was convinced there was a case in this crap hole of a town. When was Sammy ever wrong?
The longer the search took the more anxious and pissier Dean got. It didn't help that he continued to find himself with his head in the clouds. He'd been diving into their cases wholeheartedly lately. That usually seemed to help. His mind was forced to focus if he wanted to live, and he did. Lately though… it just seemed like it wasn't helping. And if that was the case that meant that he'd get him and Sammy both killed. So, he'd focus, that was all there was to it.
Dean sat up and rolled his neck and shoulders much like a boxer before a big fight. He leaned in toward the keyboard and really, really tried.
All that work, all that research for nothing. These were genuine missing people. Nothing strange or supernatural, just plain old not his problem. This he and his brother would leave to the police. It was just too bad that he and his brother were better at their job than any cop they'd met. And they had met more than their fair share. Not that the cops could their job as well as he and his brother. After all, he and Sam had stopped the apocalypse.
Where was his friggin' metal?
There was no life insurance or dental either. Both of which he could have used on several occasions. Without realizing he was doing it, he turned up the sound to let the tape player blast music into the car. Sam sighed but said nothing. He knew his brother too well to touch the volume or ask him to turn it down. Both would result in a lecture and a war, so he did nothing.
Whatever was bothering Dean, he'd tell him about it eventually. He always did.
Dean cleared his throat when he realized his mind had drifted again. He didn't like the direction it kept going. Turning down the sound he asked, "So, we got any leads?"
"Uh, nothing so far, but then I'm not looking." Indeed, he'd been sitting in the car with Dean for a long time. They had no case or destination in mind. When they'd realized they hadn't had a case they'd just left town. And just now, no he wasn't looking for another lead on anything. "I could give Garth a call."
Dean shrugged, "Yeah, okay."
Sam pulled out his phone and punched the button. It rang several times but there wasn't an answer. "Weird. Nothing."
"Try him again." Sam hit the call button again and waited. Nothing. "We'll give him time to call us back. We don't hear from him…." Dean trailed off because he knew Sam would know where he was going. The beauty of growing up so close and being the only constant thing in each other's lives was that they almost always knew what the other was thinking.
Which could also be a bad thing. A very bad thing. Another reason Dean didn't like his mind straying. It took turns where he didn't want to go and where he never wanted Sammy to think he went. Maybe it was stupid or childish or whatever, but he just didn't like it. The fact that the person his mind kept straying to hadn't been in touch in a very long time didn't help matters. Dean worried, a lot.
"You hear from Cass lately?" Dean had to stop himself from jumping. Once again it was as though his little brother could read minds. How had he known? No, he couldn't. Could he?
"Uh, ah… no actually." Dean cleared his throat. "No, nothing. Why?"
"Just hadn't heard from him. He didn't answer the last time I called him. Just worried I guess."
"Cass is a big boy, I'm sure he's fine." It was second nature at this point to sooth Sam. When he was sick, worried, scared. Dean was there to stand in the way of all of that. He just wished he believed his own words.
"Yeah I guess." Both brothers fell silent again.
That night they slept in the car. They'd spent all night driving and just pulled over on a small patch of gravel to sleep. Six hours later they were up and, on the road, again. Sam was driving because he knew his brother was dead tired. Both Winchesters were light sleepers, so Sam knew that Dean hadn't been sleeping well. Whatever it was that was bothering him was getting worse. Sam was pretty sure he knew his brother's problem.
A very big part of him was tempted to bring it up. But a small part was afraid to in case he was wrong. He was damned sure he wasn't though. Either way it would piss Dean off if Sam voiced his concern or theories as to why his older brother was acting this way. In the end, it probably wouldn't make a difference anyway. Just then a cell started going off. Dean's.
Dean checked the caller ID and felt equal parts relief and anger. And, another emotion that he refused to acknowledge. "Cass. Man, where the hell have you been?" Dean was silent as he heard the response. "Interstate forty-four. Mile marker… ninety-three."
"Things have gotten… complicated," this from Cass who was now sitting dead center in the back seat. Dean hung up the phone and turned around. Sam was so used to Cass popping up that he didn't so much as jerk or jump.
"What are you talking about?" Dean asked. Anger was the emotion he clung to and let guide him now. "Where the hell have you been? You can't… I don't know, check in every now and again. A quick, 'I'm fine don't worry' seemed out of the question?"
Cass looked away and sighed. "I know, but I was only just able to leave for a moment. Things in Heaven are… complicated."
"Yeah you said that."
"Is everything alright Cass?" Sam asked.
"Not really. Some of the other angles are restless and scared. Something up there is different."
"What?" Dean barked.
"No one knows. It just feels… darker up there somehow."
"So, what are we going to do about it?" Sam spoke again.
Cass looked out the window for a long moment before he answered. "I suppose there is nothing we can do at the moment. After all, how can I do something about it when I am not sure what exactly is wrong?"
"Are you sure it isn't another Naomi situation?" Dean asked. There was a time when the angels were all being controlled by other angels. God had still not yet made an appearance.
"It doesn't feel like it did then. I honestly don't know. I just thought I would come down here with you two for a little while. I wanted to get away." Dean slammed himself back into his seat. After all this time he should be used to Cass' way of thinking and behaving but he still wasn't. Cryptic he'd always been but this made little sense to anyone. Sam stopped asking questions and Cass volunteered no more information.
"Well, if you need our help…." Sam let his sentence trail off. Cass knew by now that the Winchester brothers would always be here for him. Just as Cass would do anything for them. The angel would go above and beyond for Dean and had on several occasions. Something, Sam felt, that Dean took for granted. Cass nodded his head in response to Sam's words. The remainder of the drive was quiet. They stopped at a little diner just off the interstate.
Breakfast was a dull affair where no one spoke unless necessary. Unable to stand the tension any longer the youngest brother voiced a suggestion. "Why don't you two go find us a room while I hit the library and try to find us a case. Try calling Garth again. Neither of the others argued. So, they hopped back into the car and headed for the nearest motel while Sam walked down the block to small library.
Dean shoved the door to the room open, doing a sweep of the place with his eyes. The room was a dump. Wallpaper was faded and dingy, the beds looked as old as the damn town and the carpet was mashed down from where people had walked on it so much. But it was cheap, so no one complained. They'd stayed in worse. Dean walked in first leaving Cass to shut the door.
Stomping across the floor, Dean threw the bag onto the bed. He took a deep breath, but it didn't do any good. Hurt. That's what he was, hurt. That terrifying emotion had him whirling on Cass like a storm. "Why do you do this? Huh? What have I done that you think you can get away with this time and again? It has to stop!" He stared, waiting for the angel to say… anything. There was no reply. Just an unreadable gaze that never wavered.
"Why do you keep doing this? Why are you always disappearing? Where do you go? What are you doing there? Are you okay?" He began to pace the floor, unable to take the silence and the gaze anymore. Cass just stood like a statue and watched him. "Are you so cold that you don't care that I sit down here and worry? You know I worry because I tell you that every time, I pray for you. I pray for you almost every damn day and yet you ignore me. Why?"
Dean fell silent. He stood, again waiting for a reply. Cass continued to stand there. He was about to give up when the angel moved. Slowly, Castiel walked toward him. Ever staring.
He'd been on thousands of hunts, up against every conceivable evil and his heartbeat would steadily beat in his chest. He'd been at this for too long to have it race in fright. Rarely was he afraid. Dean wasn't afraid now. Wasn't scared. Yet his heart pounded faster with each step the angel took. Personal space had never meant much to Cass. Not from the beginning.
"Say something damn it." Cass' lip twitched. Dean's eyes flickered back and forth as he looked into Cass' eyes. "What!?" At the end of his tether he reached out and grabbed the angel's shoulders. His lips met Cass' with all the heat and fire of passion. With all the love. Because, dammit, he did love him. How and why he didn't know but love him he did. He poured all of his worry and anger and hurt into the kiss until he heard the angel moan. When his arms came up to wrap around him Dean's heart shuddered.
God, he'd missed this man. He always missed him. Dean needed Cass like he needed his next breath. Cass opened his mouth to say something, but Dean's lips met his again. Slowly, he felt the angel submitting to his will. How he'd waited and wanted for this moment. Dean's hands ran up and down the angel's back and arm and ribs as his mouth devoured. He'd never tasted something so pure and clean and perfect.
Each time they came together like this it felt the same. Blood pounded in his ears as he began to undress and take more. Cass moaned into his mouth again causing his hardness to twitch against the denim of his jeans. The sensation had him pulling Castiel closer and rubbing against him. Cass' own member was just as ready and willing. Just like the first time. The difference was time. Cass had been Dean's first. Well not first first. But the first man he'd ever been with. The only man he'd ever been with.
And he'd been Cass' first in every way. The knowledge of that had been enough to make Dean try and show him a good time. After he got past his own insecurities. He'd only ever been with women, never having had interest in another man before. In any way. But Cass could make him laugh and yearn all at the same time.
They'd been both shy and awkward. The afterwards had been much worse. But now they knew one another. What made them moan and ache and cry out their pleasure. He used that knowledge now to bring pleasure to the only man he'd ever loved. And Cass gave back. With selflessness and tenderness. The angel removed a layer from Dean every time the latter removed an article from him.
His lips were just as eager, his yearning just as deep. Finally, Cass' hands were able to run along Dean's neck, shoulders and chest. His body was the most perfect body he'd ever seen. Hard and rough and strong. Just like the hardness that pressed against him. And, God help him, he loved it. Loved the man whose arms he was standing in. Having had enough Cass stopped kissing and touching just long enough to close his eyes and concentrate. Normally it would have been as simple as thinking but with Dean rushing through his system it took a moment.
When he opened his eyes, both were naked from head to toe. Dean looked down and back up at Cass. "Let's just do that from now on." Before Cass could reply Dean had taken his mouth again. The kiss was more urgent than ever. So, the angel let himself be led to the bed. Together they lay down, never stopping.
The more Dean licked and nipped and touched the more he wanted. The more he craved. Cass was like a clear cool lake and Dean like a man dying of thirst. It was never enough, could never be enough. He couldn't take it anymore, he wanted to bury himself deep inside of the angel. His dick was hard when he held it in his hand, guiding himself to the angel's tight opening. "Don't ever do that again. Don't leave, not like that. Not for so long. Not without letting me know you're alive."
"Cass' eyes were wide with want. He nodded his head. "Promise." Dean thrust, just a little. "Promise me." Cass nodded. Dean acted as though he'd thrust again but didn't. "Say it. Promise me."
"I promise not to hurt you or leave like that again." Far from satisfied, Dean shoved himself deep inside the angel. Cass cried out in pleasure. There was no pain. Just unbelievable pleasure. Their hips met in a primal rhythm. Lips crushed and bruised. Their hearts beat a crazy tattoo as the pleasure built to a new height.
More, more, more. Now, more. I love you. I love you. I love you. Dean's mind hooked on that one thought as the sensations rushing through him were on the verge of bursting. Dean watched as the orgasm broke through Castiel. The last straw, Dean thrust one last time to spill himself deep inside his angel.
Much later Dean and Cass were still a tangle of arms and legs when Cass finally spoke. "I love you too." Dean's eyes jerked open. 'Too'? Had he said those words out loud? He'd never… would never have… but clearly, he had. So, he didn't speak, just lay there and held him. "I still promise."
"I know." Dean raised his head from the pillow next to Cass' and stared down into his eyes. "I can't live without you. I need you to understand what that means."
"I do." They stared at each other for a long moment.
"C'mon, we'd better get dressed. Sam could be back any moment." Both, wanting to avoid the embarrassing scene, began to gather their clothes. Every now and again their eyes would meet and seem to smile. Words weren't necessary as their eyes said everything. By the time Sam got back with a case Dean was sitting at his computer, not really doing anything, and Cass was just staring at the T.V.
"Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" Dean and Cass shared a look. Sam wasn't listening to Dean's reply but instead wondered at the messages flying between the two. Animosity and frustration seemed to have disappeared. He couldn't, or didn't want to, name what was in their place, but everything seemed to be worked out. So, he filled them in about what he'd found and waited until Dean was ready to tell him.