a/n: hello! this is an au alison&toby with one-sided spencer&toby fic for the a-team exchange. this is for the lovely zee; i hope you like this and ily c:
prompts: fireworks, sandcastles, "I love you but..."
i don't own anything. and i'm so sorry for all the mistakes i have here; this is really late and i'm so sorry bbg.
Beep, beep, beep...
The sounds of a monitor fills the room.
Beep, beep, beep...
A young woman sits next to the patient, her hand intertwine with his. It is up to her to shut off the life support.
Beep, beep, beep...
"So, I guess this is it, huh?" she begins, her voice shaky. "You are finally leaving me."
Beep, beep, beep...
"We met the week after you moved to Rosewood. Remember that time? It was at the beach and you literally ran into me." She laughs. "You ran into me with so much force, I fell on a little boy and girl's sandcastle and we had to rebuild both of theirs. Remember how we decided to make it a contest to see who could build their sandcastle the fastest? We had to rebuild multiple sandcastles since if one of us was almost finished, the other one would knock it down. Even though you beat me at the end, I still had a fun time."
Beep, beep, beep...
"You were one of my best friends, along with Ali, Aria, Hanna, and Emily. You always knew how to lift up my spirits, even if I was upset at the most unnecessary things." She pauses, her hand cold and clammy. "I didn't know when it happened, but soon enough when I see you, my heartbeat got erratic and my stomach got queasy. I always presumed that it was just me being nervous for an upcoming exam."
Beep, beep, beep...
She looks out of the window. The sky's a beautiful blue, the iridescent flowers are already blooming, and the chirps of birds could be heard. She expects the weather to be when he dies, dark, with the sky's tears falling on Earth. But it seems like Mother Nature is happy that he's dying, but she forgives her for not grieving; after all, if Mother Nature cries for every death, then the weather will never be sunny.
Beep, beep, beep...
"You always loved the clear blue sky. You would always drag Ali and I outside during the summer before high school started and just lay there on the grass, looking up at the clouds. You always told me how you love it because anything is possible, as they sky is endless. I guess that event three days ago was a possibility."
Beep, beep, beep...
"When we were sixteen, you told me you loved someone. By that time, I was in love with someone too– you. Yeah, that's right, Spencer Hastings loves you and still does."
She hesitates, blinking back the tears forming in her eyes. Her breathing becomes ragged as she tries to conceal all of her emotions at once. Spencer, focus. Stay strong like you have been for your whole life, she tells herself.
Beep, beep, beep...
She takes a deep breath. "But one day, you broke my heart. You told me you had a huge crush on Alison this whole time. Not me– Alison. After so many years, you would assume that I got over it, but the wounds in my heart is still bleeding."
Beep, beep, beep...
"You asked me that day if it was alright if you could ask her out since I was her best friend," she says, "I told you, 'yeah, go ahead. Just follow your heart.' I only wished now I stopped you, but if I stopped you, you wouldn't be as happy as you were when Alison and you were dating. And it'd break my heart more if you weren't happy."
Beep, beep, beep...
"I remember when you had your first kiss. It was the day when Noel Kahn hosted his infamous party. The whole day, when I saw you and Alison hand in hand with one another, dancing along to overrated music, I wished that the girl you were dancing with was me."
She takes another deep breath before continuing. "I also wished that I was Alison when you two kissed under the moonlight when we lit up the fireworks. You two looked so perfect together, and my heart ached when I caught your lips connected with Alison's."
Beep, beep, beep...
She bites her lips, staring at the ivory tile walls in the hospital for a few minutes before starting again. C'mon Spence, if you could deal with everything you've been through, you can survive this, she mutters to herself, trying to keep her breathing as normal as possible.
"I've never expected your relationship with Ali to last that long to be honest," she admits, looking around the fluorescent room, trying to look at anything else besides the boy who's laying on the metal bed with a thin mattress. "I thought you'd break up after a month or so; Ali was never good at being committed to long relationships. But you did; you dated her for years before you went down on one knee and proposed to her."
Beep, beep, beep...
"She showed me the ring, Toby, and it was beautiful. You must really love her to give her such a costly ring. Was that why you worked for my father? To buy her that ring? I guess it paid off because Ali never stopped loving you." She looks up at the ceiling, blinking her tears away. You're a strong girl, he loves someone else- your best friend. Why can't you finally let go?
Beep, beep, beep...
She takes another deep breath, before starting again. "You both invited me to your wedding, as the Maid of Honor. I never responded back."
Beep, beep, beep...
She could feel her chest tightening, but she knows it's not from an allergic reaction or lack of an air conditioner in the room. "In the most cliché way possible, the day before your wedding, I made a visit to your house. Of course I decided to have a few drinks at the bar nearby your house. You were surprised when I knocked on your door, drenched from the pouring rain. You asked me why I was there since you knew I wasn't going to your wedding."
Beep, beep, beep...
"You asked me why the hell I was here, knocking at your door at an ungodly time of the day. And then I dropped the bomb." She pauses, her chest throbbing. "I told you, 'I love you' and I kissed you."
Beep, beep, beep...
She bites her lip, tears threatening to stream down her rosy cheeks. "You pulled away as soon as our lips made contact. You were startled when I kissed you, but like the true gentleman you are, you told me, 'Spencer, I love you too, but just as a friend; nothing more. Let me drive you home.' I guess cliché moments don't always have that happy ending."
Beep, beep, beep...
She fingers her ring finger. It's naked, as there is nobody who loves her enough to adorn it with gold and diamonds. "But there is one thing that remained cliché; I never loved anyone else."
Beep, beep, beep...
"After the wedding, I feel deep into a bottle of whiskey and cocaine," she admits, her words bunches together, making it sound like she's mumbling. "A few years after your wedding, you and Ali saw me on the streets intoxicated with liquor and cocaine. You two offered to drive me home." A tear escapes from her eyes, but she quickly wipes it away. It's all your fault. You caused it.
Beep, beep, beep..
"It took me a while to agree to get into the car, but you two manage to convince me to get in the backseat. You were in the driver's seat and Ali was sitting right next to you." Her breathing becomes heavier and her mind is beginning to fog.
Beep, beep, beep...
She eventually calms herself before speaking again. "I was talking mindless nonsense to you two and you guys were nice enough to answer back. I guess you didn't want me to turn into those kinds of people who were violent when intoxicated. I asked you and Ali to look at the sky, saying how I could see your deceased mother watching over you. Of course you both looked up and smiled, saying how you and Ali could see her. But when you focused your vision back on the road–"
She stops herself, her empty hand shaking. Tears runs down her pale cheeks, but she wipes them away. If only you haven't told them to look up in the sky that wouldn't happen.
Beep, beep, beep...
"I-It was too late. W-we were driving through a busy intersection," she stutters, trying to put up the strong façade she always wears, but it washes away with the tears she sheds. "Then there was metal hitting m-metal, Ali's scream, and glass breaking. There was b-blood– a lot of blood."
Beep, beep, beep...
"The crash– it killed the only woman you ever loved at the scene. You hit your head against the car window." She pauses. Only you were safe, you just had a concussion. It should have been you, not them. "T-They tried to save you, b-but you never responded. Y-You're b-brain d-d-dead."
More tears stream down her face, her eyesight hazy from crying. This time, she leaves her trembling free hand by her side.
Beep, beep, beep...
"I'm sorry," she whispers, her voice faint.
Beep, beep, beep...
She looks at the clock. It's been an hour since she's told the devastating news. It's time, she tells herself.
Beep, beep, beep...
Her hand moves shakily towards the switch, while the other clamps on to his warm hand. She wish that he's playing a practical joke on her that Ali's still alive and he is too, so she will learn her lesson to drink responsibly and stop breathing drugs. But he's not. Ali is gone, and soon he'll join her. The car accident three days ago isn't a dream, it's reality.
Beep, beep, beep...
Slow and steady, her hand manages to flip the switch. Go and join her, Toby. You love her and she loves you. You don't want to leave her there waiting for you to arrive.
Twenty seconds later, the monitor flatlines.
a/n: um sorry for this bad one-shot and the multiple mistakes, zee; you deserve so much better.
but yeah, thanks for reading c: