"I know how this will end. I know that I'll be left with nothing, but…" Each word hit me like a punch from brass knuckles, and I felt my head begin to spin. However, against every single cell in my body telling me to look away, to run away, I continued to listen. "But… I can't just let this end without you knowing."
The once cheerful girl with bright, shining eyes, now had eyes that were red and puffy. Droplets of sparkling water ran down her cheeks, mixing with the makeup she wore and falling to the table where we sat. The way she shook scared me, making me wonder if I should stop her.
"Hikki, I love you."
Four words. Though those four words were different, they held something similar to the words I spoke during a most fragile time. However, unlike that time, no one would stop this rejection.
"I can't return your feelings." I steeled my eyes toward Yuigahama's, and I flinched when she registered my words. The droplets fell faster now, and hands donned with glittering nails began to hastily wipe away the tears.
Without wanting to, I began to utter an apology. "Yuigahama, I'm sorr-"
"Hikki, Yukinon sent you here to fulfill my request, right?" Her voice cut me off, yet it wasn't sharp nor loud. Instead, it was soft and quiet, barely audible.
"Yes." I felt a lump of saliva slowly descend down my throat, and my lungs ceased all movement.
"Then this is my true request." Yuigahama pulled her hands away from her eyes to reveal a face devoid of makeup. The backs of her hands had smudges on them. "Never be sorry for the way you feel. You know what this means, right?"
My head nodded slowly as the meaning to her words ran through my head. Don't be sorry for rejecting me, that's the secondary meaning to her request.
"Good." The tears began to fall again, and her hands began to shield her face once more.
But I had to say something myself.
"I know how selfish it is to ask of this, to even want this, but I want to be friends with you." Every word left a bitter taste in my mouth.
What kind of sweetness would it take to cancel this bitterness out?
"I do too, Hikki. But…" I could hear Yuigahama swallow. "But I can't afford to be selfish anymore. If we became friends, then something else wouldn't work out, and I wouldn't be able to move on. Maybe one day we would be able to, but…"
"I understand." I didn't need her to continue. Those fleeting words would leave a false sense of hope in the both of us. I knew what she meant, and I knew the answer beforehand, and yet, I still made that selfish request.
"Then until next time."
"Until next time."
My promised date with Yuigahama Yui came to an end.