This is going to be kind of like a soap opera, cause I love the exaggerated drama and humor of it. Think Dark Shadows, Dallas, Passions and every other crazy soap ever, add in DBZ and you have this. Each chapter is more like an episode. Also, do not own anything you know. Ages Trunks-21, Bra-10, Pan-8, Goten-20
There was no question about it, Earth was doomed. There was no doubt, no looming uncertainty. The Powers That Be knew that their precious creation was going to fail. There was no space tyrant, bio-organic android or even a wizard's creation. Not this time.
The harbinger of doom was something different. New yet old. At a first glance, innocuous. However, with all darkness there would be a glint of light, hope.
The Earth was doomed, yes. But would it end?
That was the only uncertainty.
"This is a terrible mistake." The Youthful speaker did not hide their annoyance.
The notion itself was stupid. What was The Elder being thinking?
"It could be or work out perfectly. Ye of little faith." The Elder being had to be out of their mind.
"Little faith in that arrogant man, yes. I just have concern when it comes to you." The Youthful voice responded.
A brief spurt of laughter erupted throughout the darkness.
"What say you, Northy?" The Elder being asked.
"The Earth is doomed." The Blue Catfish Hybrid sighed deeply.
It was a peaceful day in Capsule Corp. All residents were sleeping soundly. The elder Briefs were-uh . . not sleeping-however the next generations were doing just that. The Prince, our anti-hero of this story, was having his favorite occurring dream. It was about to be rudely interrupted.
"Vegeta, wake up!"
A slurred voice shouted in his mind. Vegeta, thinking it was his lovely mate next to him, patted his pillow.
"Sssh. It's better when you don't talk."
He buried himself further into the pillows and blankets surrounding him.
"GET UP NOW!"
Vegeta fell from his bed. The sound of him hitting the floor woke up his mate. She peered over the side of the bed and stared down at him, still half sleep herself.
"Uh. You okay, hun?"
He growled.
"What do you want? You-"
"Good! Vegeta I need you to come to me." The voice in his mind was back.
"Eh? Go where?" He cleaned out his ears.
"Who are you talking to you?" Bulma blinked. What was going on here?
"Sounds like a wounded Catfish is talking to me in my mind." The Prince got back to his feet and slowly climbed back into bed.
" I AM NOT A CATFISH! IT'S KING KAI, YOU MORON! I need to talk to you."
The shock of the mental invasion caused the dear Prince to lose balance and he fell to the floor once more.
"Get the fuck out of my head, fish." He growled.
"This is stupid. I'll leave you to your psychotic breakdown. Breakfast when you are done." Bulma put on her robe and scurried out of the room.
"I need to talk to you!" King Kai shouted once more in his mind.
"Then talk!"
Vegeta crossed his arms already having a shitty day. Couldn't he catch a break? He already missed out on pre breakfast sex. Unforgivable.
"You're-- I need you to get my laundry!"
Vegeta's eye twitched. What the Hell did that fish just say to him?
"What?" His voice dangerously low.
"That's right. Laundry. Now, go. It's on fifth and third. You know where." The smug Catfish thing replied.
Vegeta could no longer contain his outrage.
"Why the fuck am I now your errand boy?! Get your own damn laundry! I am the freaking Prince of all Saiyans! I do not pick up fish laundry!"
He powered up enough to blow out the electricity in the room. The outlets were smoking.
"You will!"
"No!"
"I'll have King Yemma take back your life and have you go back to Hell--again. Forever!"
Vegeta closed his mouth. His eye twitched again. Damn that was a good one.
"Fine" He responded through gritted teeth.
"Good. Now. The sooner the better."
The voice left his mind.
Stupid Catfish things. . .
Vegeta glared at the lamp, put on random articles of clothing and headed for the morning ritual known as breakfast. Not surprisingly his son and daughter had eaten most of the food. He liked those blueberry things. Perfect.
"Daddy!" His ten year-old daughter squealed. She kissed his cheek and his son nodded his head, as if to say, "yes, you do exist."
"Good. You finished? Do I need to call a therapist?" Bulma placed down another plate of waffles. His children stared at their mother.
Vegeta grunted in response. He piled food onto his own plate.
"Still hearing voices?" Bulma sat down across from him.
"Dad's hearing voices?" Trunks blinked. Bra looked saddened. They both bored their eyes into him.
Bulma smiled.
"Don't worry, guys. He's still going to love you." She took a bite of her bacon. Vegeta glared at her.
"Woman." He warned.
"Woman? I know you do not mean me. I do have a name and I know you were not just referring to me as "woman." I am going assume you are seeing things now." She got up from the table and picked up piles of empty plates.
Vegeta offered her a rude gesture once her back was turned. With lightning fast speed, Bulma spun around and hurled a plate at him.
"I saw that!" She left the kitchen.
After several tense minutes, Vegeta finished his breakfast. Sure he had promised, sort of, to get the Catfish's laundry but he did not say when. So our dear anti-hero decided to have a leisure day before completing tiresome and worthless endeavors.
"Dad, can w go shopping?"
Trunks rolled his eyes as soon as the words entered his ears.
Had this been any other day, Vegeta would have said Hell no. Only weakling Earth men dare to set foot into those blasted architectures known as malls.
However, today was not a normal day. He was given the chance to offend an annoying being of higher power, whilst being a "good" father.
So of course he grunted yes.
His children could translate any and all of the sounds, facial expressions that he made. They knew what meant yes and what said fuck no. It was basically a second language.
"Thanks! Dad, we are going to have so much fun! There is this store--" He blocked out the rest of the babel that his daughter was saying. They walked out of the kitchen together.
The journey to the mall was a headache. His daughter talked nonstop. He yelled at her to shut up but her response was to say, " oh you're so grumpy daddy."
Grumpy and sex deprived, he gripped the wheel contraption in frustration.
He found a place to sit and be by himself while his daughter ventured into the stores.
"Daddy, aren't you coming?"
"No. Off with you." He shooed her away. Her face fell slightly but she complied.
"Vegeta, I told you to go to the laundry mat! Not go to the mall!" Mr. Catfish was back.
Oh how he loathed this mental invasion.
"I will after this!"
He slouched in his chair. Some people were staring at him as they passed.
"It's important!"
Vegeta pinched the bridge of his nose once more.
"You'll get your damn boxers!"
Relaxing was not as easy as it looked. He tried to calm himself. He needed a punching bag.
Speaking of. . .
"Why aren't you asking Kakarot to do this shit?"
He crossed his arms.
"Because I am asking you!" The voice left his mind once again. He rubbed his temples and sighed.
He really hated that blue freak.
"Hearing voices? Been there." Chi Chi took a sip from her cup. It was shaping out to be a rather relaxing day out for the two friends. Tea, shopping and maybe lunch later. It was a very good day so far.
"Said Catfish a few times." Bulma shrugged.
"Catfish? Hmm." Chi Chi took a moment to contemplate this.
"He could mean King Kai. He used to always talk to my Goku. He hasn't for awhile though. I like it. No more random shouting. I thought I was starting to hear voices."
"Bulma Briefs?" A new voice entered their conversation.
A tall, pale man smiled at both women.
"And you are?" Bulma had no earthly idea who this man before her was.
"Oh I'm sorry. We went to school together. I'm Chaz Chambers. Oh. Your friend." Chaz beamed at Chi Chi.
"Hello." She waved awkwardly.
"My, My." He took Chi Chi's hand.
Bulma stared at the man. There was something so . . . captivating about him. He wasn't that attractive yet she was drawn to him somehow. Almost like an outside force--she shook her head clear of such thoughts.
"Chi Chi." Her friend herself, was lost in his eyes.
"I'll remember." He let go of her hand. Both women stared at him.
"I have a meeting. Maybe we can catch up later." He nodded and left.
"What just happened?"
"Huh?" Bulma was lost in her own thoughts. Suddenly she got a very strange feeling deep down. Like she forgot to do something important.
"Something on your mind?" Her friend picked up on her uneasiness.
"Y--no. Just a lovely day!" She laughed nervously. She felt so hollow and empty.
King Kai was growing impaitient. He gave a simple task. A simple retrieving task! What the Hell? Vegeta was a smart Saiyan!
Pah.
He was too passive and spiteful for his own good.
Perhaps he should have told him how important it was to go to the laundry mat--not retrieve clothing. Clothing that did not even exist.
"He can't know."
His superior answered.
King Kai nodded and sighed deeply.
The Earth was doomed and all he could do was watch.
"Vegeta . . ." He whispered sadly. So much potential was being wasted.
"Give him time. He will come around. We can trust him. Have faith. Remember, if don't how can we expect others?"
For an old and semi perverted man, he did have his moments.
"You're right."
He still didn't agree and had his reservations.
The Earth is--may be doomed.
Progress, he mused.
Back on Earth Vegeta had enough of waiting and grabbed his daughter and took her back home. He had been for years striving to be a better father and husband. Husband. That's what his mate had called him. They were married-sort of. They did not have a traditional marriage-was it called common law or something?
He often wondered if she would like a traditional Earth wedding. On his planet this had been drastically different. Saiyan male seeks female, finds female, they bond, they're mates and it's done. That was a very simplified version, but that was basically it. Simple. No dramatic or expensive party-act.
However, he had no idea how Earth did it as he skipped out on baldy's wedding. Maybe one day he and his mate will do it the Earth way but now he wanted a nap.
"Vegeta! Did you get the laundry?"
Mr. Fishnets was back. Vegeta knew he was forgetting something. He sighed.
"Yes." He lied. He made his way back outside once more.
"Don't lie to me! I know! Go now!"
What was he doing? Bowling?
"Shut up, fish-boy!"
He was on his way damnit.
"DO NOT CALL ME FISH-BOY, MONKEY-MAN!"
The screaming gave Vegeta a headache.
After a painful two minute fly Vegeta made it to his destination.
Unfortunately, it was on fire.
"Uh."
Several fire trucks, police officers and paramedics were on sight. Smoke and fire devoured the tiny structure. Several people were being ushered on stretchers, being looked at by medics and some bystanders were just screaming.
Something caught the Prince's eye.
Inside, he could see with his inhuman extraordinary sight, was a little boy. He covered in ash and crying. Vegeta looked around him. No one noticed the boy but him.
"Earthlings." He exhaled before running in with incredible speed. He picked the up and ran out in a matter of seconds.
"Here." He called out to anyone and dropped the boy. One immediately grabbed the crying child and started attending to his wounds.
"Too late."
Damn Fish-boy was in his head.
"Was I supposed to advert this?" He scowled.
"You were." Sadness filled his mind.
"Who did this? New villain?" Maybe new times of ass kicking were upon him. He was getting excited.
"No. See the girl in the stretcher over there?" There was badly burned woman being taken inside an ambulance. Vegeta eyes followed her. He nodded.
"We need her. It's too late. She's too hurt. They'll end up putting her into a coma until she's healed. It's what humans do on this planet."
Vegeta continued to watch her. She was in and the doors closed.
"Need her for what?"
The vehicle took off slowly.
"To help you save Earth. Her name is Launch. She's special."
Vegeta knew that name.
"Isn't she a friend of Kakarot's?
"Yes-until she is better--"
Vegeta had enough of this.
"Save Earth from what? I demand answers. I refuse to continue unless I am told what is going on. Why am I your new errand boy? What's happening? What's endangering Earth?"
He heard a sigh.
" Satan."
Vegeta blinked. He was called Satan once.
"Oh."
Chi Chi opened her door and Chaz was on the other side. He waved.
"Hey, can I come in? Yes? You're so sweet." He pushed her aside and slammed the door behind him.
"What do--"
"Sssh." Chaz winked. Chi Chi's body froze. She was literally paralyzed. Not able to move, speak, only stare.
"I need you." Chaz slowly transformed into a youthful female teen. Her hair black and purple, wearing a black gothic outfit.
"Good. Speechless, now listen. My name is Circe and I am a demon." Her violet eyes gleamed blood red for a few seconds.
Chi Chi squeaked.
"Sh. Nope. Do not want that. I am on a diet. What I want is help."
Chi Chi glared.
"Oh. That was a naughty thought. No, you can go and do that on your own. I need you to help me."
Chi Chi narrowed her eyes.
"Tough, no choice baby."
Circe put her hands on Chi Chi shoulders.
"Now, don't take this the wrong way. My dad well-- is a man and made up this technique-cause he is a man."
Circe pressed her lips onto Chi Chi's pulled her close, dipped her and then put her back on her feet.
"Now, I totally understand if you are falling for me. I am pretty hot." She pressed Chi Chi's nose.
"Anyway, now you and I are bonded. When you need me, you can call for me. If I feel pain, sadly, you feel and vice versa. I hate to do this to you but I am desperate for help."
Chi Chi blinked.
"My father is evil. King of evil. Big Bad evil. King of demons and lord of Hell. Yeah, that guy. He wants to end Earth I hear and guess what? You're going to be my spy! Yes. I will tell you what I know and you will tell me what you know. We can save your planet and existence that way. I'm his precious youngest daughter so he doesn't pay too much heed to me as he trusts me and--shit."
Circe holds her head.
Chi Chi continues to stare.
"I am late for work. If I don't go to the club and get some souls it's my ass. Dad is coming today!"
Chi Chi raised a brow.
"Yes, I am a hooker I suppose. Thank you for making me feel extra awesome."
Blank stare.
"Bitch. I am going now. Peace. You are free to talk and screw again!"
Circe vanished in a puff of smoke.
Just another normal day on Earth.