Disclaimer: I don't own any themes, characters used in this story. This is purely FANfiction.
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Envious
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Dean isn't sure why he's bothering.
He hasn't spoken to the man in years.
He stands still, shifting weight from foot to foot. He idly kicks the dirt in front of him, only to tap it back into place a moment later when regret hits him for disturbing the ground.
"Hi -" Dean starts to say, his voice sounding thick and strained.
He clears his throat, trying his best to sound as upbeat as he can muster, "Hi, Dad."
No response comes.
He knows no response will come, but a familiar spark of pain still tugs at his heart.
"I don't know if you know, but… we're doing good. Sam and me," Dean says, trying his best to smile. "I wish you could see the kid. He's finally getting the hang of his gun… can actually shoot in a straight line now."
Silence fills the space of an answer.
"Look… I won't be back here for a while… " he says and his sigh catches in his throat a few times, "But, don't worry about me, okay?"
Dean's eyes drops to the floor. He doesn't want to admit to the truth of the deal he's made, but he doesn't want to lie either.
The wind around him rustles the leaves at his feet and he hates how badly the breeze make his eyes water.
"I-I miss you," he wipes the stray tear from his eye and takes shaky breath, "I miss you both. All the time."
Before he finally turns around, ready to face his eternal fate, he reads the words written in front of him one last time. Another tear suddenly falls before he could stop it and for a moment, just for a moment, he could admit it to himself, that he is envious of those final written words:
Here lies John and Mary Winchester, Rest in Peace.
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