memoria
born from wishes,
cursed by darkness
do these memories sing
Katara drowns in a churning sky of wet blue. She inhales the salty tang of the scenery with a smile and instantly scrunches her nose at the sensation. Her parted mouth coos lovingly at the small, white-topped waves as they eagerly lap at her bare hands and legs. Somewhere in the distance above the craggy peaks is the sound of a ravenous baby bird calling for the mother to satiate its hunger.
Sure enough, a shrill cry is uttered in response, and Katara can make out a faint outline of fluttering wings in the horizon; a smaller figure (a rabbit perhaps?) securely stored in the mother's beak. She surveys the scene with misty eyes. So this is the ocean.
It's beautiful.
Katara hesitantly turns her eyes from the water and lets them rove over the sun. She can't tell if it's dusk or dawn, and she can practically hear Zuko berating her already. You know the phases of the moon like the back of your hand, but you can't tell the difference between morning and sunset? That's just sad.
Katara rolls her eyes, but her lips curve into a tiny smile. Zuko would love seeing the sun like this, all majestic and brilliant in its pleasant gold-rimmed glory. She'll have to show it to him once the memory ends.
Katara makes a mental note to show the memory to Aang once he comes back with Toph. And Sokka and Suki, she reminds herself. The ocean captivates her alone, but no one has seen the sun in years.
Not since Vaatu, anyways.
"You took a long time," Zuko comments as he rummages through his storage. Katara nods, taking out the flask for him to see. He nearly quivers with excitement, but Zuko manages to control himself and clears his throat.
"Is that-?"
"An ocean," Katara whispers. "I saw it today." Zuko snorts in derision and shakes his head at her.
"I could hardly care less about your ocean," Zuko says at last. "But the sun is a different story." He frowns. "Why didn't I get that memory?"
Katara almost laughs at the childish pout on his face, but stops herself at the last minute because she knows that Zuko hates being laughed at and can hold a grudge like no other. "It's not really a memory of the sun," she explains as she stores the memory on a shelf. The glass bottle twinkles next to its fellow counterparts, each gleaming with contents in breathtaking hues of blue.
"The main focus is the water. I guess the sun was more of a backdrop. Remind me to show it to you and the others after dinner."
"Sokka and Suki are back already." Zuko hesitates, looks around, and lowers his voice. "I think something happened to Suki during recon." There's a quick intake of breath and Katara spins around.
"She's not-?"
"No. Not infected. But I think it's dangerous for them to go out. They're more vulnerable to the darkness."
Katara bites her lip in worry. "None of us should be going out," she points out. "It's dangerous for all of us. But we don't really have a more viable option." Zuko shrugs hopelessly in reply. Katara's line of vision falls on the stored memories and she thinks of the ocean, possibly her favorite memory of all time. She remembers the way it relentlessly beat against the shore, never faltering and never conceding as it pushed and pulled. Yes. Katara's confident that she'll be revisiting that memory quite a bit. Inspired, she puts on a brave face.
"But we're not done yet. And there's still a year till Harmonic Convergence."
"You still haven't given up?"
"No. I haven't. I have Sokka, Suki, Aang, and Toph. We have Raava. And I saw an ocean today. No reason to give up yet." Zuko's breath slows and his anxieties quiet at the sight of her serene confidence; her unwavering ability to believe that good will win in the end. He drinks in the image of her relaxed shoulders and set mouth, but he feels dismayed that she didn't count him among the string of names.
He hesitates and decides to take a leap of faith as he opens his mouth. "And me," he rasps slowly. "You have me."
Katara's eyes widen in surprise and Zuko cringes, immediately wishing he hadn't said anything. It was too soon, he berates himself. How could he be so presumptuous to assume that he'd become one of them? Stupid, stupid idiot. The feeling of regret wallows deep in his stomach and pins him down to black, inky depths.
Then, it happens. It's small, but Zuko sees it with clear, disbelieving eyes. Katara's smile is warm as it graces itself onto Zuko's scarred face. He wonders if she's remembering all the events that led up to this very moment because he certainly is. His mind is racing.
"I do have you, don't I?" Katara muses aloud. "Now I think of it, you're right. You're one of us now. And that's exactly why we're not giving up."
Zuko stands up sharply and strides past her, deaf to the Zuko? that falls on his ears as an odd, too widely stretched smile breaks out across his face. He feels accepted. He feels forgiven. He feels free. For once, Zuko feels like he… belongs somewhere. A small, treacherous thought makes its way into his head and takes him by surprise.
Katara's smile is almost as blinding as the sun itself.
Zuko wishes he could burn this memory into his mind so that he can save this moment for the dark times ahead. Katara later finds him sitting in his dimly-lit room, eyes closed and forehead scrunched in concentration. She quietly leaves, perceiving the hunched posture as a sign of deep meditation, but in Zuko's mind, he's replaying her smile over and over again.
It's… beautiful.
author's notes: my mind goes wild on long train rides. the ideas for this story will usually pop up during class or commute, so this story will most likely be in drabble form(?) i'm one hour early for my literature class trying to churn out spirits as quickly as possible. I promised that it would come out around thursday or friday but shit just hit the fan. this wasn't quite as taxing, so I decided to upload memoria first since i'm still editing spirits and i wanted to give you guys something to read until then. enjoy the memoria universe!