DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters or the show! The story switches POV often. Narration will be done by several characters throughout the story. Takes place 5 years in the future after Amy, Ricky, Adrian, Ben, Grace and Jack have all graduated. Thank you and enjoy!
Chapter One
I couldn't help it. It was so gross. I felt like her. Just like her. I found myself gazing out the window at them both, tongue in tongue, touching each other. Is that how I used to touch Ben? Was I really that bad? I tried to look down at the floor, look in back of me, but I just couldn't look away. It was like their love was a magnet, a magnet that attracted me into watching every move they made, every little peck, every little gaze.
Five years had passed since I graduated high school. I'm a twenty-three year old woman with an eight year old child. John's eight now, and such a wonderful child. John has given me the best years of my life. Ever since my difficult split with my boyfriend of three years, Ben, he was there. He was there when I came home from school. There when I ate dinner. There when I brushed my teeth. There when I fixed my hair. There for all of the tears, there for all of the lies. There for all of the pain. You learn to appreciate those things, you know. Especially when you have a baby at fifteen. I can't say I'd go back in time though, because I wouldn't. John is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I'd never trade it for the world. It's hard taking care of a baby yourself though. I'm not exactly alone in the process, but sometimes I might as well be. "I'll be right back, running next door." "I'd really like to stay, Amy, but Adrian.. it's just that, I promised her.." Every word out of Ricky's mouth left me speechless, nothing else to say. How was I supposed to respond to that? "Good, go see your slut instead of your son." Sometimes, I wished I would've had the courage to say something like that, but I didn't take chances. Now, don't get me wrong, Ricky's a good guy, an amazing father to his son, but it's hard raising John. All of the questions of why his mommy and daddy don't kiss, don't sleep in the same bed, don't make each other breakfast, don't call each other to say goodnight. Sometimes, I feel that a part of me is jealous of Adrian. Ricky has told me a few times he'd thought I'd been jealous. I simply answered by rolling my eyes and mumbling, "No, I'm not" under my breath. But, who wouldn't be jealous of Adrian? She's got everything. She's super beautiful, super successful, she has a happy love life, great friends, and did I mention her love life? It.. it's not like their married or anything, from what I hear he doesn't even want to be married. But at this point, they might as well be. They're always kissing and holding hands. She's always there to greet him at the door, him swifting her off of her feet, pulling her into one of those dramatic kisses you see in the soap operas. One of the, "I thought I'd die without you" kisses. Only, he'd been gone for a few hours. Why do I always look at them, you ask? I couldn't answer your question, to be honest. It's like a stage. My house is the chair, I'm in the audience, and Ricky and Adrian are the main act, the spotlight. How could you take your eyes off of a love so beautiful? The thing is, you couldn't...
It made me so sick to admit I still missed him after five years. Five years. I wanted to slap myself everytime I thought five years. I'd been attending college to eventually become a doctor. A pediatrician, actually. I'm almost done with medical school, but lately, I've been slacking. He's been on my mind. Him. All the time. I always said to myself, "Grace, you're too good for Jack. There's other fish in the sea, you'll find another guy." Jack was the first guy I loved, the first guy I had sex with, my first kiss, first dance, first date, first, well... everything.
My best friend, Adrian, always told me to go out there, explore new guys, see what I could find. I responded by calling her a hypocrite, simply out of jealousy. She found her guy. She was happy. He was happy with her. I was happy for them. Sure, the both of them kissing on my couch when we're watching a movie together might be a little weird, but you get used to it after awhile. Adrian and I went out for some coffee recently. We were in a small cafe, and there were a pile of magazines next to us. Adrian being Adrian had to look at the barcode on the bottom to see who's name the subscription was to. She then picked up a magazine I wasn't familiar with. Modern Wedding, I think it was called. Yeah, that's it. Of course, Adrian gets really excited the way Adrian's do. She points out a long dress and a beach setting. "This. This is what I want." I just nodded and took a sip of my coffee, that actually tasted so bitter I could throw up. "Ricky would love this. He loves the beach. I wonder if.." And I cut her off. She knew why I had cut her off too. Not that I didn't want to hear about a ceremony celebrating the love between my two best friends. I just wasn't in the mood for wedding talk. As a matter of fact, I wasn't in the mood for any talk.
"Amy, Amy Juergens." I couldn't keep the page open much longer or the crease in my senior yearbook would be so bad that it'd never open without a squeak as loud as a truck again. I quietly closed the book, drifting away from the picture and it's astonishing beauty. That picture was my girlfriend. Well, what used to be anyway. Amy Juergens was her name, and boy, what a girlfriend she was. If I could relive those three years I'd spent being her boyfriend, I can honestly say I would. Over and over again. I used to imagine living alone for the rest of my life, the old jerk down the block with twenty-seven cats, yelling "You kids!" everytime one crossed my property. When I was with Amy, that image had left my mind. I had found the girl I wanted to be with forever. If only she had felt the same way back. It's not entirely her fault. She has a kid, ya know. John. What a character. He's such an amazing kid, sometimes leaving me wishing he was my own. If it weren't for John, maybe Amy and I would be together, married at twenty-three. Or, maybe we wouldn't have met at all. I don't like to think about that, though. Not meeting her. Her beautiful face was in my mind all the time, and lately, more than ever. Like my step-mom, Betty, once told me, "You always want what you can't have." This was one of those moments. I simply cannot have Amy. She has a son. With Ricky. She needs to focus on her son more than a silly boyfriend lost in love like me anyway.
Somedays, my longing for Amy to at least give me a call or send me an email or a simple text saying hello left me in such a depression that I couldn't eat. I lay awake at night, dreaming about the family we could've had. The life we could've had. Dreaming that she'd be there for me to hold, to stroke her hair, to wake her up in the morning and say, "How did you sleep, my darling?" That would all just remain simply a fantasy, as I haven't even heard from the girl in two years. Since her 21st birthday. The night of her 21st birthday.
Today, I'm just going to sit here. Sit next to the closed yearbook, thinking about the page with her picture. The beautiful Amy Juergens. The girl I met freshman year. The girl I fell in love with, the girl I longed to be with for the rest of my life. The girl that was so beautiful no summer's day could compare. The girl that left me standing because she "needed to think about things". The girl that left me with "I might have feelings for Ricky, I just.. I'm sorry." The girl that hasn't called me in two years. The girl I shouldn't even bother with anymore, but can't stop.