A/N: Birthday fic for my little sister, inspired by "where are you now" by Mumford & Sons. Hope you all enjoy and please leave a review.
Where are you now?
Sirius sat alone in the cold dark cell that had become his home since he was thrown into Azkaban without so much as a trial. The painful memories of his last moments with the man he had loved since they were just young boys, a man he had wrongfully mistrusted and a man who now thought him a traitor.
Flashback
They walked together down the busy streets of Muggle London, Remus was so quite, he didn't say a single word to the other man. When they came to a stop and sat down together on an empty park bench. The tired werewolf's eyes were filled with spite, preparing for a fight, a fight that Sirius felt too weak to have.
His amber eyes were void of the pain his grey eyed counterpart's seem to hold, the spite had bled into an icy coldness that sent chills down the black haired partner's spine. Remus seemed almost triumphant, he truly believed that the only logical step in their relationship now was to call it quits, they just weren't working anymore.
This seemed to be the end of a relationship that had been their little secret, as Sirius got up to leave, not wanting to deal with the horrid pain the cold look his lover was giving him. If felt as if he truly no longer cared, Remus spoke for the first time that night "if you walk away now, no one will know about the love we shared". Spite had leaked back into the brunet man's face and words.
Sirius whispered "I'll know, I'll always remember" he walked away, tears rolling down his cheeks, not once looking back to see if Remus was hurting as he was. He wondered briefly if the other man would try to stop him from leaving or perhaps try to follow him. But it seemed this was indeed the end of their love affair.
End Flashback.
The darkness and depression Azkaban always brought descended on him and he found himself wondering for the umpteenth where Remus was now, wondering if he missed him or ever thought of him and of what they had had. Did Remus spend his quite nights remembering; those they had spent cuddled close together under the covers.
Did his Remus look for him in the crowd, did he miss him? Did he think of him? Or did he choose not to dwell on the past? Remus would have the luxury of thinking of happier things, unlike Sirius who was forced to remember and relived his worst memories over and over, day in and out.
The prisoner wondered if he would ever be free, would he ever see Remus again. If they were to meet one day on the street, would the other man wear a smile and greet him with a hug and a kind word? Or would that cold look mixed with spite still me there, would he just frown and walk on? His heart would always and forever belong to his werewolf, he could hardly hold onto the hope that the other man still held him as dearly in his heart after all this time, after the bitter end they had met, after what he most likely believed Sirius had done.
"I'll hold you in my heart Moony" Sirius whispered into the dark of the night as waves crashed ashore.