Dear Lucas,
Every time I write one of these I always hope it'll be my last. I always hope that time and distance will help my heart forget how fast it likes to beat when you're around. It never turns out that way though does it? Luke, you shouldn't have kissed me. You just shouldn't have. I didn't want to have to say good bye to you tonight. We're going to be in the same city working on our dreams, and I can't think of anyone I'd rather have here with me while I worked for those dreams than you, and you had to ruin it by kissing me. If I never got to taste your lips on mine again it would be hell, but worth every minute knowing that I would never again have to feel the ache that consumes me when I know that you're thinking about her while kissing me.
Don't you get it Lucas? Two boys and girl, summers at our beach house and winters in the south of France; tonight wasn't just a rebound for me. That's my dream Luke, you me and a big family, but I gave up that dream when I gave you up for Peyton. So you can't just kiss me, because this has to be my dream now: Clothes over Bro's, couture, fashion week. This HAS to be my dream now Luke because, as long as you're my dream, my heart doesn't stand a chance. You're the one for me Lucas Scott, the one I would give all this up for, but that's not what that kiss meant. I wish that's what that kiss meant.
I wish so many things for us, Luke. I wish we'd get our two boys – twins, and that their little sister would have your eyes. I wish we could paint our first place together, getting more paint on each other than on the walls. I wish I could pick out your tie for your first book signing, and that you'd be wearing the first ever B. Scott suit on our wedding day. I wish I'd known who Peyton was going to turn into before I made that decision senior year. I wish I'd never let you go. I wish you hadn't kissed me last night, because than I wouldn't be crying over you ...again.
I wish I had the courage to send you this.
I'm yours forever,
Brooke