TITLE: Reborn

AUTHOR: LOTSlove®

CHARACTERS: Richard / Kahlan

RATING: PG-16 / T

TIMELINE: Anything up through S2 season finale (Tears)

STORY TYPE: Angst / Romance / Adventure

SPOILERS: Anything from Seasons 1 & 2

DISCLAIMER: I love them and love to write about them even though I don't own them or make a dime.

SUMMARY: Sequel to my fic Broken, prophecy once again threatens the peace that has settled over the territories but more so the future line of Confessors.

Reborn (Chapter 1)

The soft colors of dawn began to spread across the sky, streaking it in shades of yellows and pinks. The lingering smell of rain even now filled the crisp morning air, raindrops still glistening on each blade of grass and clinging to their horses' legs as they silently passed through the field.

Coming to a stop on a cliff overlooking Aydindril, Richard's eyes scanned the city before settling on the Confessor's Palace, his hair softly lifting in the gentle breeze. Kahlan was never far from his thoughts, but more so now than ever before. Making love to her last night had almost changed his mind, had almost washed the burden of guilt away, but there was a part of him that could still not let it go. His infinite love for her had momentarily pushed aside his guilt, allowing him to make love to the woman who consumed his very essence. He could never withhold his love from her no matter how he revolting he felt inside.

Kahlan was forever a part of him and he wanted it no other way. It was because of his love for her that he was leaving Aydindril, to go to D'Hara and claim the throne. He knew he had to accept who and what he was. He was a Rahl. And the sooner he accepted it, the sooner he came to terms with that, the sooner he could rid himself of this vile guilt and fury. He would at last be worthy of his wife's love, to be the father of her daughters. And he wouldn't have to live in fear of hurting her anymore.

"Richard?"

The sound of Zedd's tentative voice stirred him from the disparaging thoughts that tormented his mind. His chest felt tight with the weight of emotions that filled his broken heart, knowing deep down that Kahlan was the only one who could ever truly heal it. But that healing would have to wait until he had dealt with the rage and the things that he had done. And he knew that he couldn't be near her while he worked through that.

Lightly tapping the heel of his boots against Asa's sides, Richard spurred his horse on. He had fought Darken Rahl, battled more D'Haran soldiers and Mord'Sith than he could count, watched the Midlands being ripped apart because of his own hand, been marked by the Keeper, and attacked by Sisters of the Dark. And even after all that he had endured and almost died for, Richard still felt that leaving Kahlan now was the hardest thing he had ever done in his entire life. Nothing he had encountered up until now could ever come close to the pain that filled him at this moment.

"You don't have to do this right now, you know," Zedd gently reminded his grandson, seeing the struggle that warred inside of him.

"Yes, Zedd…I do," he evenly stated, attempting to hide the heartache in his voice as he turned his attention to the wide open field that spread out before him, the tall grasses bowing slightly in the wind.

He knew that Kahlan would be waking soon, finding herself alone in their bed. He knew the pain that he was causing her and he hated himself all the more for it, but he was certain the pain would be much worse for her if he stayed. Despite what she believed, Kahlan was not safe around him.

Straightening his shoulders, Richard forced himself to dwell on his return to Aydindril and not his departure. His jaw set, he vowed that he would not rest until he had set everything right in D'Hara, would not stop until he had tamed the beast that lurked deep inside of him. Because until then, he would not be able to return to the one he lived and would gladly die for. He just prayed that Kahlan would forgive him some day because he knew that he would never be able to forgive himself.

Casting a glance to the sky, Richard could already tell by the scattered clouds that winter would be approaching in the next several weeks or so. He wished he could return to her before the heavier snows began settling in and sealing up the mountain passes that led into Aydindril, but deep down he knew that he wouldn't likely see his wife until spring at best.

The thought caused his heart to sink further in his chest. Without hesitation, he signaled Asa to increase his pace before he changed his mind and turned his horse around. The sooner he got to D'Hara and learned what Zedd had to teach him, the sooner this nightmare would hopefully all be over.

XXX

Walking through the dark empty halls of the Confessor's Palace, Kahlan was doing her best to keep her Confessor's face firmly in place. As the leader of the Midlands, it would not appear proper to see the Mother Confessor falling apart over her husband's abrupt departure. But each day that passed since his leaving, the mask fell a little more frequently, a little more unwillingly than when he had first left.

Everyone had been fussing over her, constantly asking her if she was alright. It had grown very annoying, making it harder and harder to keep her heart hidden beneath the thick fortification of the Confessor's facade. She found herself continually chanting silently in her head not to allow anyone to see her heartache or loneliness, her mind replaying the things that her mother and past Confessors had taught her about burying her emotions for the good of the people.

It had been easy to wear the mask of emotionless authority the first couple of days after Richard was gone. She was so angry and hurt that it had proved easy to fool everyone into believing that she was fine and that she had truly accepted his decision to claim the throne in D'Hara. Aggie and Cara, however, saw right through her and had been silently keeping watch over her when they thought she wasn't aware.

Coming home to a silent room and sleeping alone in an empty bed each night had begun to wear on her despite her best efforts. Conflicting emotions churned within her like a windswept boat tossed about in the waves of a turbulent sea.

There was the part of her that was the Mother Confessor, understanding duty above heart. She knew more than anyone the importance of fulfilling responsibility. She'd been trained and molded in that vein all her life, had sacrificed so much already because of duty. And now she was being asked to sacrifice all over again. Except this time, it was the one she loved most that she was losing.

Kahlan felt guilty for being so selfish, for putting what she wanted most above the welfare of an entire territory, an entire people who had been so brutally victimized for far too long. Her husband's people…

The thought of Richard brought a feeling of warmth to encircle her while at the same time causing the gnawing ache that had been born in her soul the day he left to reach even deeper. That raw empty void was like being stabbed with a knife that never left, twisting and turning, wrenching this way and that, taking her breath away at times.

She didn't know how she was going to endure being separated from him for so many months. It had only been four days and she already felt at times as if her heart wouldn't survive another moment let alone another day.

The woman in her missed him so fiercely, longed to feel him holding her close to him with his arms wrapped so passionately around her. She hungered for the taste of his kisses and the exquisite feeling of his masculine form lying naked against hers. She missed his boyish smile and the smoldering look of need that blazed in his eyes that made her knees go weak with a mutual hunger. No one ever looked at her the way that he did and she missed it terribly. He always made her feel so beautiful and desirable, so much more so than she ever felt that she was.

Deep down, Kahlan understood her husband's battle, the struggle that overwhelmed him. It hurt her to watch him fight against something that was eating him alive inside. What she didn't understand was why he had to leave her to work through it. She wanted nothing more than to help him though this ordeal. They were husband and wife; they were one now – a team. Why was he willingly choosing to shut her out?

Richard had always been the one telling her that their love was stronger than any magic, more powerful than any trial that they faced. Their love was so powerful that it had formed a new Stone of Tears, had brought her back from the void she'd been trapped in with Brey, had broken Da'Tavius's spell on Richard. It had saved them time after time. She knew it would save him now if he'd only let her in, allow himself to believe in their love and to feel it once more.

But he didn't feel that he deserved her love any longer. Wrapping her arms tightly around herself as she returned to a cold empty suite after a long day of meetings, Kahlan felt the tears beginning to form, coming tonight just like they had for the last three nights since he had left.

"Damn it, Richard," she angrily murmured as she stood alone in their suite, her eyes slowly sweeping over the little reminders that he had been here at one time.

She felt so small and alone standing in their suite, the darkness outside seeping in and enveloping her. She hadn't realized how much she had come to need him, how much she depended on him until he was no longer here. He provided her his strength and his faith in her in such a subtle quiet manner just by his presence alone. Now that he wasn't here, she felt so vulnerable, so inadequate to perform her duties.

In the privacy of her suite, Kahlan slowly sank to the floor. She drew he knees up to her chest, wrapping one arm around her legs and her other hand around the tooth pendant that hung around her neck as she finally allowed herself to give in to her heartache once again.

XXX

The moon was a perfect round ball glowing brightly overhead, keeping watch over the Seeker and Wizard. Lying on his bedroll, Richard stared blankly up at the sky that seemed to stretch forever, sleep coming for brief respites only to elude him again as it had for the last several nights.

They'd been travelling relentlessly for over a week now. A week… It had been a week since he'd last seen his wife's beautiful face, since he'd last made love to her, experienced the passion of her kisses and the heat of her touch.

Despite the pain that had pervaded his heart, it had been incredibly passionate that night. Of course, every time they made love, giving themselves over to each other was always euphoric. Each time they were together seemed like they were experiencing and exploring each other for the first time and yet they knew each other so intimately that he never knew where he ended and she began.

He had never experienced a bond like the one that they shared. Every day that took him farther and farther away from her created a hollow dead thing deep inside of him. But he knew that he had to do this. He could barely live with himself knowing that Kahlan almost died because of him. He couldn't risk having her around him until he had dealt with his guilt, his fury, his ancestry.

Again, the visions began racing through his mind, drudging up with it the nauseating anguish and horror. Images of Kahlan covered in blood, her body lying broken over the rocks…

He shivered suddenly as a cool breeze invaded his private, self-imposed condemnation. It was a sentence that he believed without a doubt that he deserved and so much more. Sitting up, he leaned over and snatched up his pack.

Casting a look at his grandfather, he smiled fondly as he watched him sleep, knowing that he had exhausted the old Wizard with the long days of travel. He felt guilty about it, but he wanted to get to D'Hara as soon as possible. The sooner he accomplished what he had to, the sooner he'd be on his way back to Kahlan. He hoped by the time he saw those sapphire eyes again that he will have found the peace that he was desperate to find, to be worthy of her love once more.

Digging into his pack, Richard fished around until he found what he was looking for. Removing the item, he tossed his pack to the side before settling back down on his bedroll. Curling up on his side, he covered himself with the blanket. Burying his face in the soft material, his eyes slid closed as he inhaled deeply. A sense of peace softly pulsated over him as her essence filled his nostrils and permeated his soul. He could feel her love for him tugging at him, attempting to pull the fragmented pieces of his heart back together. But he refused to allow her to do that for him. Not now; not yet.

He wondered if Kahlan noticed yet that her green blanket was missing. He had quickly and quietly packed up his things early that morning, pausing momentarily to watch her as she slept. She'd still had the stunning afterglow from their lovemaking that veiled her face, causing his breath to hitch. The last rays of moonlight had trickled through the glass doors, creating an aura of radiance to softly shine on her.

It had caused him to pause, to momentarily reconsider his decision. He wanted so desperately to undress and slip back into that bed with her, to pull her close against his body, caressing her soft skin with his lips and tongue. He loved it when she laid with her back pressed securely against his chest, his arms and legs tangled with hers, wrapped so protectively around her, surrounding her body with his own. How could he possibly leave her? She was everything to him. At the same time, how could he stay knowing he had almost taken her life?

He had quickly finished packing up his things when he saw her green blanket lying in a heap on the floor beside their bed. He had picked it up, holding it to his nose and inhaling deeply, savoring her scent that permeated the fibers. He had immediately folded it up and placed it into his pack. He needed a piece of her with him if he was going to survive this.

Walking back to the bed, he had stared at her sleeping form one last time, memorizing the delicate curve of her face, her long dark eyelashes, her luscious strands he loved to run his fingers through. He had burned her image into his mind, never wanting to forget the minutest detail of his beloved, wanting to remember each and every freckle that dotted her face. Spirits, she was so gorgeous.

Mesmerized, he had slowly reached out his hand, needing to feel the softness of her hair one last time. Tenderly running his fingertips along the silky strands, he felt his stomach begin to swim with the warm rush of arousal that she always awakened within him.

Swallowing back his need, he had removed his tooth necklace, laying it on his pillow. He had wanted her to have a piece of him to hold on to, to remember that he loved her above all else. Kahlan knew that the pendant was the only thing he had from his father George Cypher, that he would never leave it behind unless he had a reason. He wanted Kahlan to hold on to it to so that she would always know that he would come back to her someday.

Leaning over her, he had softly pressed his lips to her temple, squeezing his eyes closed against heated tears.

"I love you, Kahlan…forever…"

He had whispered those words to her as he had kissed her, wanting so desperately to hear those precious words in return but knowing he could not wake her. If she had woken, he never would have been able to say goodbye. Telling her the night before that he was leaving had been almost as devastating as seeing her lying on those rocks. Having to say it again that morning would have killed him.

Besides, he knew that Kahlan would have only attempted to talk him out of leaving or would have convinced him to take her along. He could have hardly resisted her, deny her what she wanted. He wouldn't have been able to look into those eyes and tell her no again despite the emotional storm that consumed him.

Picking up his pack once more, he had hurriedly left their suite, silently closing the door behind him as his future and his grandfather awaited him. His legs had felt like lead as he had made his way through the Confessor's Palace and out to the stables. But as heavy as his legs felt, it paled mightily compared to the heaviness of his heart.

Even now, it felt at times as if his heart had shattered, laying in thousands of pieces within his chest, its raw jagged edges slicing and ripping at his core. Other times, it felt as if a boulder had been wrapped tightly around it, attempting to take him down and drown him in a bottomless pit of despair.

Releasing a haggard sigh, Richard feared this pain would never cease. Pulling Kahlan's blanket closer to his face, he finally closed his eyes, hoping against hope that when he awoke in the morning, he would find himself in Aydindril with Kahlan and that this had all been nothing more than a dreadful nightmare…