This is a new type of writing I'm trying, its obviously lyric writing, so yeah. It's a Nightwing/Zatanna fic again, but this one's on their break-up and how Nightwing copes, and how much it hurts him. This is just a one-shot.
The song is Silhouette by Owl City
Disclaimer: I don't O-W-N it.
Authors note: Please listen to the song prior to reading, it helps you understand the atmosphere. And don't just ignore this, cuz most of you will, soooo just to make sure you listen, if you don't you will all experience a disaster heavy on the dis *Cackles evilly*
Silhouette
I'm tired of waking up in tears
Cause I can't put to bed these phobias and fears
Every night and day I regretted leaving her. But for her to be safe it was the only choice I had. Both of us had our duties to fulfill and both of us had been hurt because of the other, not on purpose but because of our… family ties. Ever since she almost died in my arms I had been waking up every night with the image of her pale face and her blood trickling from her body. After that, I had to leave her, so she could be safe. But it still hurts every time I see her.
I'm new to this grief I can't explain
But I'm no stranger to the heartache and the pain
The fire I began is burning me alive
But I know better than to leave and let it die
I didn't want to leave. I wanted to be with her forever. I truly did love her, I still do. I want us so badly to go back to when we were young, and have our carefree days, and have our quick little touches no one noticed, and the conversations no one seemed to understand because we butchered the English dictionary so much. The hole in my heart aches to have all that back. But I was an over-cautious fool, and I ended it.
I'm a silhouette
Asking every now and then
Is it over yet?
Will I ever feel again?
My heart will always belong to her. And the mind numbing pain was a constant reminder of that. I always wondered if I could love someone else. Truth is, I could. But not as much as I loved her. I don't want it to be over. I want it to reignite. But she would never forgive me for breaking her heart.
I'm a silhouette
Chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on
The more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home
I honestly did try to move on. But the relationship, was just another painful reminder that I would never have what I wanted back. I was so alone. And being with someone else made it worse. Made me realize how far I was from her.
I'm sick of the past I can't erase
A jumble of footprints and hasty steps
I can't retrace
I know I can't take back the things I did, the things I said. Like hiding the secret of Artemis' death, and the secret of Kaldur being a double agent. And lying right to her face. I told her to trust me. And she did. I severed what little ties I had left to her right there. I broke the last chance I had. I was forced to. I had to save the world… but at what cost.
The mountain of things I still regret
Is a vile reminder that I would
Rather just forget
No matter where I go
I pretended to act like it was over. That I could go on with my life. But when Wally died, I left. Because at that moment, I couldn't pretend anymore. All my life I had continually lost people I cared for. It was a curse. First my parents, then Jason, Bruce*, Wally… Zatanna. What else could life take away? My whole life I knew I could have done something different. Something that could have saved them. But when I look back, all I see is guilt and regret. I was one stupid, idiotic, person. What could I do?
The fire I began is burning me alive
But I know better than to leave and let it die
Those were the thoughts that had been plaguing me the entire time I had been standing there in the shadows of our tree, our place. Some of the forestry had survived the explosion of Mt. Justice. And the one place me and Zee could be alone together had lasted. I leant up against the tree and traced my fingers along the carving we left there. We both new how cliché it was, so we decided it would have been hilarious to leave our own mark on history. But now, it was the only physical thing to show that we actually were here. That we loved each other.
I'm a silhouette
Asking every now and then
Is it over yet?
Will I ever smile again?
I sighed forlornly and slid down into a sitting position. I stared at the faint outline of my shadow. I pulled out a throwing disc and whipped it at the head of my dark companion. It was all I was now. A hollow, empty silhouette of who I was. The cold and pale moonlight welcomed me to her sweet embrace, but the shadows were more my style, so it was no surprise that she had found me resting beside the tree that meant so much to the both of us. I didn't look up at her, I focused solely on the grass that blew gently in the midnight breeze. She reached for the disc and pulled it out of the ground, absently tossing it away over her shoulder.
I'm a silhouette
Chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on
The more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home
She sat down beside me and gazed at my face. I didn't turn my attention away from the green tendrils. Without a word she looked at the tree and like I did, she traced the mark. Most likely reliving memories I had been moments ago. I closed my eyes and lowered my head releasing a quiet hum. I felt her sad gaze bore into the side of my head. There was so much I wanted to say to her, but with the things I had done, it made me afraid of her reaction. I was afraid I couldn't take what she felt. She reached to grab my mask. But my hand stopped her. She looked down and lowered her hand. Say something! My heart broke. I had my chance and I was pushing her away, like I did everyone else.
Cause I walk alone
No matter where I go
She was about to get up when I grabbed her wrist and forced her to stay. I stood up with her, her hand still enveloped within mine. Her crystal blue eyes stared up at my masked ones with confusion and shock riddled throughout her features. I towered over her and stared back. I ever so gently placed a hand on her cheek and wiped away the few tears that had managed to fall. She didn't move or try to get away from me so I took it as my cue took pull away my mask.
Cause I walk alone
Her eyes widened as she saw the tears I had been holding in for 3 years stream from my eyes.
"I am so sorry Zatanna." I said quietly my voice cracking. I sobbed and lowered my head.
"I love you more than any other person in my life, and I've hated myself for hurting you over and over again. I've kept secrets from you and I….. understand if you never want to see me again, but just understand one thing." I took a breath and took a step back releasing her from my hold.
"Imi pare râu, Zee. Nu vorbesc, am nevoie de ajutorul dumneavoastra înainte de moara. Vreau sà te iubesc vitata mea, Zatanna. Imi pare râu. Te iubesc." She stood still and stared into my soul.
I'm a silhouette
Asking every now and then
Is it over yet?
Will I ever love again?
I let my tears fall freely and I poured all of my heart and soul into the words I spoke. I stepped closer and cradled her beautiful face in my hands. She was silent and unmoving.
"I'm sorry Zee. I can't speak my feelings….. I need your help before I die someday. I want to love you all my life, Zatanna. I'm sorry. I love you." My simple words had made her amazing azure eyes fill with tears and quiet sobs wrack her body.
"You're everything to me, and I can't keep pretending you're not there." She gazed at me, silent words flitting through her eyes. She smiled ever so slightly.
"I love you. I don't care what happened or what will happen, I want to be with you forever." She whispered. My heart swelled and the pain that had been plaguing my heart for 3 years had lifted. I smiled.
I'm a silhouette
Chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on
The more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home
And then I kissed her.
I watch the summer stars to lead me home
*Batman isn't dead, neither is Zatanna.
Review? Please? And how did I do on the lyric writing? I feel like I totally bombed it. Anyways…..
Stay whelmed.