Authors note: While I'm waiting for inspiration to strike for the Spanish Inquisition, This inspired me. Another song-fic this time inspired by Shreck and Smash Mouth's lyrics I'm a Believer. (It's been stuck in my brain on repeat-one for quite a while now.) Might be a little out of character, but hey, what do we really know about Ranger anyway? :D
Disclaimer:Don't own characters or lyrics, not making any money etc. just for fun.
I'm a Believer
The happy thoughts of Ranger – Or what he really hides behind that blank face.
I remember the first time I met her. I couldn't believe Connie was serious when she called and asked me to be a mentor to a woman that wanted to become a bounty-hunter. But I thought it could be interesting, so I decided I'd give it a try. Now I thank my lucky star I did. If there ever is such a thing as a lucky star. Well, I should know, I met mine.
I thought love was
Only true in fairy tales
Meant for someone else
But not for me
Her name was Stephanie Plum, and we were supposed to meet at a café. Connie had given me a description of her, but of course I had checked her background already. Born 12th of October, living in the Burg with her family Mr and Mrs Plum and her sister Valerie. When she graduated she got a job as a lingerie buyer for E. E. Martin. Married Richard Orr, lawyer. Got divorced, fired and, if I am to believe Connie right, blackmailed Vinnie into giving her a job as a bounty hunter. Now she was shipped into my care and I was to teach her how to become one. She was nervous meeting me, and if I am to be frank, I was nervous too. But of course I didn't let that show. She was beautiful, to put it bluntly, with her wild curly brown hair and brilliant blue eyes.
Love was out to get to me
That's the way it seems
Disappointment haunted
All my dreams
I told her if Morelli didn't want to get caught, he didn't get caught and that she was out of her league. But that didn't stop her. She told me she needed money, and she was ready to do anything to bring Morelli in. Exactly what she was ready to do to get him she showed when she confiscated his car. I couldn't resist smiling when she told me what she had done. Then I got a phone call from her in the middle of the night. Morelli had obviously paid her a visit when he discovered his car no longer was in his parking-lot, and chained her to her shower. Naked. The first thought that went through my mind was "She asks me?" when she asked if I could come and unlock her handcuffs. I told her to get lost. In nicer words of course, but the message was the same. Get lost. I didn't want to pay her a visit in the middle of the night when she was naked and locked to a shower. Could I restrain myself? When she called me the second time I gave in. I couldn't ignore her, and leaving her naked and handcuffed just didn't seem fair to her. She was a nice person.
She looked really relieved to see me when I entered the toilet. She was cold and shivering and her hair stood on ends. That made her look a little frightening, but in a cute way.
And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
She had used the car as bait for Morelli and he had taken it. Unfortunately she hadn't stood a chance at bringing him in, then, but she always gets her man. Against my will I could feel myself beginning to like her. She had guts.
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her
If I tried
After the failed marriage with Rachel I couldn't see me as someone with relationships and I told Stephanie so. My life doesn't lend itself into relationships. I didn't want those I care about to get hurt and they surely would get hurt. I have many enemies who wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of my loved ones by kidnapping them. And I don't want to put her through that danger. Well, she puts herself through that danger, but that's because of her, not me. God knows she has enemies of her own, but mostly she can keep her own back, with a little help from me of course. Okay, I admit it, I've helped her out of trouble a lot. But I can't always protect her, she doesn't always want to be protected, and if she was associated with me I doubt I could keep her alive. That's why I'm keeping my distance to her, to keep her safe from My enemies.
I thought love was
More or less a given thing
The more I gave the less
I got, oh yeah
What's the use in trying
All you get is pain
When I wanted sunshine
I got rain
Seeing her on-again-off-again relationship with Morelli made me sad. But as always, I didn't say anything. Better she didn't know. I cherish the one night we spent together highly. I'll never forget that night.
And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her
If I tried
And then I, my dumb ass, tell her to fix things with Morelli. Tell her to go back to him. Oh, how I have litterally been beating my head against the wall for telling her that!
What's the use in trying
All you get is pain
When I wanted sunshine
I got rain
I could feel it when they were in their off-stage, and couldn't resist poaching as she called it. I love the effect I have on her, even though she doesn't show it, when I sneak up close to her and lay my hand on her neck when meeting her in the office. The poached kisses in the alley behind the bail bonds office was the closest to a relationship I could get, I told myself over and over again. Seems I didn't tell myself enough.
And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her
If I tried
I had called her two hours ago and asked if she could do a distraction job tonight and now I was waiting outside her door. I never wait but somehow I felt like a little schoolboy who was going to ask out the most popular girl at school. I was nervous. What if she didn't... well what was the worst that could happen? That she never wanted to see me again? I could live with that. Liar, a little voice inside my head told me but I ignored it. I knocked the door and was just about to knock again when she opened the door without looking in the peep-hole.
"Always check before you open the door!" I told her.
She stared stunned at black suite and white shirt I was wearing, her mouth impersonating a goldfish. I took a step closer and lifted her chin with a finger and kissed her. When we broke free she was plastered to me gasping for breath. God, in this pace we wouldn't even make it to the restaurant.
"Are you ready?" I asked her, not so much to distance her as to distance myself. She definitely looked hot in the darkblue dress she was wearing. The slit made it over half way up her thigh, some inches short of decent.
"Uh, yeah…" She answered absentmindedly and looked around for her purse. She grabbed her jacket and purse and was halfway out the door when she stopped abruptly.
"I forgot my gun."
"No problem, this time you won't need a gun." But maybe condoms could come in handy, I thought as I steered her out to the elevator locking the door behind us.
Once in the car and on our way she was a little too quiet to be okay and it got me worried. Had something happened? At a red light I grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly.
"Morelli and I broke up." She blurted out and stared out the sidewindow. I felt my heart pace up as always when she told me they had broke up. Had it been for real this time?
Then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
"Forever." She sighed and turned to look at me. "Mum's gonna be so pissed off."
"If you want to, we can cancel tonight's distraction."
"No." She shook her head. "I need to work. I need to get distracted."
I pulled in at the restaurant's parkinglot and cut the engine.
Now I'm a believer
Yeah, yeah, yeah
"How about I do the distraction and you get distracted?" I suggested and leaned over and kissed her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm a believer
Then I saw her face
I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm a believer