Romeo and Juliet
According to Me!
Once upon a time, there were these two families that lived in a place called Verona, ITALY. They hated each other. One of the families had a son named Romeo Montague and the other had a daughter called Juliet Capulet. Then, surprise, surprise, they meet one night and –ohmyGod- fall in love against their parents wishes, even though their parents didn't know... only in ITALY would that happen.
But the story actually starts with these two Montague dudes called Sam and Greg talking about colliers and some "other" stuff, when, low and behold, a Capulet- Abram- walks onto the scene.
Being non-homosexual males, they decide to make an insulting gesture at the Cap, namely, the *BITING OF THE THUMB* and the best argument in literary history occurs:
Abram: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
Sam: I do bite my thumb, sir.
Abram: But do you bite your thumb at US, sir?
Sam: Is the law of our side if I say ay?
Greg: NO!
Sam: No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir; but I bite my thumb, sir.
Greg: Do you quarrel, sir?
Abram: Quarrel, sir? No sir!
Sam: But if you do, sir, I am for you. I serve as good a man as you.
Abram: No better.
Sam: Well, sir.
Greg: Say better. Here comes one of my master's kinsmen.
Sam: Yes, better, sir.
Abram: You lie!
Then there's this whole fight scene, then the prince- Escalus by name- breaks it up.
Enter Romeo, who's a pansy if I ever saw one, but amazingly appealing somehow
Romeo: Complain, complain, complain.
Ben: Sorry, cuz.
Romeo: Whine, whine, whine.
Ben: Don't worry.
Then the cousins meet up with their buddy Mercutio, who happens to be the most awesome character in the book possibly the world.
Mercutio then has this great monologue about Queen Mab and dreams, and then, for some reason they decide to crash this party the Cappies are having. Probably because they hate the Caps.
And this party's where Romeo and Juliet meet and fall in love.
So then Romeo sneaks into Juliet's backyard, which she "just happens" to be looking down onto, but somehow she doesn't see him as he is attempting to stalk her. He reveals himself and there's this big love scene where they reveal their undying love for each other.
The next day they get married.
A little while later, Tybalt, Juliet's cuz and the King of Cats, kills the great Mercutio, Romeo's best friend. Out of rage, Romeo kills Tybalt.
Romeo is banished from Verona, but luckily for him, he gets to stay in ITALY, in a little town called Mantua.
So Juliet hears the news and mourns. Romeo comes his last night in Verona, ITALY to "comfort" her (yeah... okay). The next morning they have their first argument as a married couple about a nightingale that magically changes into a lark
Anyway, Romeo leaves for Mantua, and not five seconds is he out of the room be for Capulet and his woman come in and tell Jewels that she's going to marry a dude named Paris on Thursday... which would be great if she weren't already married.
She confuses and insults her parents at the same time; they damn her (DAMN THE MAN!), she cries, and then she leaves for church for reconciliation. Reconciliation being her code word for 'going to church to kill herself'. Juliet goes, she sees the priest- Friar Laurence- he gives her a potion, yadda yadda, people'll think she's dead, yadda yadda, Romeo will take her away and they'll live happily ever after.
In short, the plan fails. Romeo hears his lady love is dead, buys poison, rushes to her side and kills himself even though she is showing little signs of life (oh yeah, he kills Paris too). Juliet wakes up and Oh My God! Romeo is dead. She has this big speech, but in the end she stabs herself with Romy's dagger, because we all know that's all that really matters in the end.
Their dads figure out what happened (Mon's wife dies, and frankly, I don't care about Lady C.). They make up at the great price of their children's lives and erect statues of each other's said dead kids.
So, the moral of the story (of course there is a moral you bugger) is if you're in love with your family's sworn enemy, sneak around behind their backs, get married (don't tell anyone about that so you'll be able to kill people and confuse them at the same time [Why'd Mercutio have to die?!?!]) and then kill yourselves because frankly, the love was star-crossed in the first place.
That's the Gospel of Shakespeare according to Eruren Arise Hopupe.
Amen.
**Note: L.J. kindly informed me that when Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet, it is the Capulets that do the biting of the thumbs. Evidence: the first line is "... here come two of the house of Montagues". In all truth, I noticed that before, but in my opinion, Shakespeare got a bit confused, God love him. Whenever Greg says, "...here comes one of my master's kinsmen." Benvolio is the next to enter-- a Montague. I believe this Is what Baz Luhrmann was going by in his William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, because he depicts it the same way I do
**Ps- yes, this is different from the note- just a suggestion, but if you actually have to study Romeo and Juliet don't go by what I'm saying, it's all fun and games, even though it's amazingly accurate... cough cough. If you really want an easy way to get the point, watch Baz Luhrmann's version- it's wicked awesome. Or if you're that desperate, e-mail me, I've had to study the damn thing in 3 different classes. Anyway, that's all- later! Eru**
According to Me!
Once upon a time, there were these two families that lived in a place called Verona, ITALY. They hated each other. One of the families had a son named Romeo Montague and the other had a daughter called Juliet Capulet. Then, surprise, surprise, they meet one night and –ohmyGod- fall in love against their parents wishes, even though their parents didn't know... only in ITALY would that happen.
But the story actually starts with these two Montague dudes called Sam and Greg talking about colliers and some "other" stuff, when, low and behold, a Capulet- Abram- walks onto the scene.
Being non-homosexual males, they decide to make an insulting gesture at the Cap, namely, the *BITING OF THE THUMB* and the best argument in literary history occurs:
Abram: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
Sam: I do bite my thumb, sir.
Abram: But do you bite your thumb at US, sir?
Sam: Is the law of our side if I say ay?
Greg: NO!
Sam: No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir; but I bite my thumb, sir.
Greg: Do you quarrel, sir?
Abram: Quarrel, sir? No sir!
Sam: But if you do, sir, I am for you. I serve as good a man as you.
Abram: No better.
Sam: Well, sir.
Greg: Say better. Here comes one of my master's kinsmen.
Sam: Yes, better, sir.
Abram: You lie!
Then there's this whole fight scene, then the prince- Escalus by name- breaks it up.
Enter Romeo, who's a pansy if I ever saw one, but amazingly appealing somehow
Romeo: Complain, complain, complain.
Ben: Sorry, cuz.
Romeo: Whine, whine, whine.
Ben: Don't worry.
Then the cousins meet up with their buddy Mercutio, who happens to be the most awesome character in the book possibly the world.
Mercutio then has this great monologue about Queen Mab and dreams, and then, for some reason they decide to crash this party the Cappies are having. Probably because they hate the Caps.
And this party's where Romeo and Juliet meet and fall in love.
So then Romeo sneaks into Juliet's backyard, which she "just happens" to be looking down onto, but somehow she doesn't see him as he is attempting to stalk her. He reveals himself and there's this big love scene where they reveal their undying love for each other.
The next day they get married.
A little while later, Tybalt, Juliet's cuz and the King of Cats, kills the great Mercutio, Romeo's best friend. Out of rage, Romeo kills Tybalt.
Romeo is banished from Verona, but luckily for him, he gets to stay in ITALY, in a little town called Mantua.
So Juliet hears the news and mourns. Romeo comes his last night in Verona, ITALY to "comfort" her (yeah... okay). The next morning they have their first argument as a married couple about a nightingale that magically changes into a lark
Anyway, Romeo leaves for Mantua, and not five seconds is he out of the room be for Capulet and his woman come in and tell Jewels that she's going to marry a dude named Paris on Thursday... which would be great if she weren't already married.
She confuses and insults her parents at the same time; they damn her (DAMN THE MAN!), she cries, and then she leaves for church for reconciliation. Reconciliation being her code word for 'going to church to kill herself'. Juliet goes, she sees the priest- Friar Laurence- he gives her a potion, yadda yadda, people'll think she's dead, yadda yadda, Romeo will take her away and they'll live happily ever after.
In short, the plan fails. Romeo hears his lady love is dead, buys poison, rushes to her side and kills himself even though she is showing little signs of life (oh yeah, he kills Paris too). Juliet wakes up and Oh My God! Romeo is dead. She has this big speech, but in the end she stabs herself with Romy's dagger, because we all know that's all that really matters in the end.
Their dads figure out what happened (Mon's wife dies, and frankly, I don't care about Lady C.). They make up at the great price of their children's lives and erect statues of each other's said dead kids.
So, the moral of the story (of course there is a moral you bugger) is if you're in love with your family's sworn enemy, sneak around behind their backs, get married (don't tell anyone about that so you'll be able to kill people and confuse them at the same time [Why'd Mercutio have to die?!?!]) and then kill yourselves because frankly, the love was star-crossed in the first place.
That's the Gospel of Shakespeare according to Eruren Arise Hopupe.
Amen.
**Note: L.J. kindly informed me that when Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet, it is the Capulets that do the biting of the thumbs. Evidence: the first line is "... here come two of the house of Montagues". In all truth, I noticed that before, but in my opinion, Shakespeare got a bit confused, God love him. Whenever Greg says, "...here comes one of my master's kinsmen." Benvolio is the next to enter-- a Montague. I believe this Is what Baz Luhrmann was going by in his William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, because he depicts it the same way I do
**Ps- yes, this is different from the note- just a suggestion, but if you actually have to study Romeo and Juliet don't go by what I'm saying, it's all fun and games, even though it's amazingly accurate... cough cough. If you really want an easy way to get the point, watch Baz Luhrmann's version- it's wicked awesome. Or if you're that desperate, e-mail me, I've had to study the damn thing in 3 different classes. Anyway, that's all- later! Eru**