Title: Someday We'll Know
Author: Lost in Romance
Rating: T
Status: One-shot
Disclaimer: I'm unfortunately just borrowing this…and the song it Someday We'll Know by the New Radicals (or whoever wrote it first)
A/N: This takes place 2 years after Jenny became Director, not the present.
Someday We'll Know
Looking down at the row of townhouses, all dark due to the hour of the night, you'd think everyone was asleep. However, if you looked closely enough you could see a faint glow making its way to the front of the house from the study in the back, and someone had been looking close enough to notice this. They were standing up against the side of their car, calculating their next move, figuring out if it was worth it. Finally taking a deep sigh they moved from the car, standing up straight, thinking it's now or never.
Meanwhile inside, Jennifer Shepard was reading over the last of her case files. It had been another late night and she needed something to help her unwind. She stood up from her desk and pushed back the chair making her way over to the shelf that held a half full bottle of bourbon. She poured herself a generous amount and sipped it, loving the feeling of the warm amber liquid making its way down her throat.
She remembered first trying the stuff; a very special agent of hers had made her. Instantly she disliked the taste but continued drinking it with her then partner anyways, and soon she developed a liking for the drink. It had been a while since she last let herself think about her past with Special – then and now – Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. It was hard for her and despite when she thought of pleasant memories, it was the one bad one that always came back to haunt her.
Jen thought she would be able to put the past behind when she became NCIS Director two years prior but the minute she saw his sparkling, piercing blue eyes and his knowing smile, memories of missions and dates and them as lovers came flooding back to her. Of course she never let him know this; there will be no off the job…she remembered saying it clear as day but she also remembered what she was thinking inside of her head as those words came out of her mouth.
She secretly hoped there would be, the only reason for those words was to show her authority of her him, making sure he knew he would not be shown any favoritism. Then that night when he was parked outside her house and she peered out her window in a silk nightgown, him looking up at her, it seemed like old times. After times though she realized that now that was all they would ever have: old times; just plain and simple memories. Well maybe not simple since their relationship had been anything but that.
Thinking of all these memories made her remember how alone she was and she looked out at her hallway leading to the foyer, knowing that with how demanding her job was and her track record, she would probably never see the day when she would be sitting in her study and look up to see her husband – or any type of loved one – coming through that door from a days work only to relax by being with her. Then she realized how quiet her house really was. Suddenly it became uncomfortable and she looked over at her radio. Jenny went over and switched it on, just catching the end of a song. As the music died down, a new one came on and she was about to change the stations to a song she actually knew until the words starting playing.
Ninety miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
I need an answer
Two years and later
You're still on my mind
She laughed at the words, remembering that when she first left Jethro she just drove around aimlessly for hours after, wondering if she made the right decision. Even if she hadn't, it was the decision she made whether or not she regretted it; which of course she had. There was nothing she regretted more in her life than leaving him, and she had been living with the subsequent consequences ever since then.
Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart?
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
Is true love just once in a lifetime?
Did the captain of the Titanic cry?
Ohhh...
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
Jen didn't notice that she had started swaying to the music and that her eyes had gotten teary from the words. She had often wondered when Gibbs would realize she was truly sorry for what she had done, when he would see how much she wanted to be together again. When she first realized she wanted him back it had been about a year ago, and she was hoping he would pick up the hints, but now that so much time has passed since she started giving him clues she has sort of given up hope.
Does anybody know the way to Atlantis
Or what the wind says when she cries
I'm speeding by the place that I met you
for the 97th time... tonight
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
(yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Someday we'll know
Why Sampson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you
I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me...tonight
Jen had asked God many times why wasn't Gibbs there with her. She wanted to know what she had done, but then she always remembers what she did: she left. The one thing she wanted to ask Gibbs though was why he hadn't come after her. Why did he let her go without a fight, not that he would have had much to say in the decision but it would have been nice to know it was real for him.
She could tell the end of the song was nearing for the tempo had slowed down and was now quite and dramatic.
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
(yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Someday we'll know
Why Sampson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you
The tears started down her face when the song ended. She could only hope that the song was right and that Jethro would figure out that she was the one for him. At least she hoped she was.
"God Jethro will you ever-"
"Will I ever what Jen?"
She jumped at the sudden voice, not expecting any visitors; especially not the one she had been thinking non stop about.
"Will I ever what Jen? Is there something you want to ask me?" His voice was stern, and if she listened enough he might have even sounded bitter.
"Nothing Jethro, just me talking to myself." Jenny looked down at her feet not wanting to see his face. He moved closer to her and rested his hands on her shoulders.
He lowered his head so that it was right next to her ear and whispered, "You know, your eye still twitches when you lie."
His warm breath on the side of her neck and ear sent shivers throughout her body. She remembered when he first pointed it out to her. He, of course, didn't think she knew that it did that and he should get a prize for being more observant than anyone else. She knew of course, but none the less she gave him a prize in which they both could enjoy.
There had been silence for only a few moments but to each it felt like a lifetime. Finally one of them spoke up.
"What was that song called? It was…sweet. And somehow feels familiar."
Jenny let a dramatic sigh before asking, "What are you doing here Jethro?"
He took a moment to think of what he should say; the truth or a lie. He decided the truth was better saved for that evening. "I came to give you an update on the case."
It was clear on her face she didn't buy it. "You aren't working on a case; or are you running one behind my back?"
"I don't do that Director." His voice was colder than he meant it and instantly regretted what he said.
Jen let out a heavy sigh. "Would you like a glass," she asked and motioned toward the bourbon.
"Sure."
As she poured the bourbon into a glass, she went over all the reasons he could be here at this hour of night, and she sure as hell knew it wasn't to talk about work. She went to match her glass to his when a hand stopped her.
"I think you've had enough Jen." She glared at him but realized he was right but wasn't sure how he knew how much she had been drinking that night.
"What are you really doing here Jethro? And please no bullshit answer, I'm really too tired for that tonight."
He didn't answer right away, instead he turned his back to her and ran his hand through his silvery hair; an exasperated sigh was heard coming from him.
After a few more moments of silence he turned around to face her. He saw that she was anxious but he wasn't sure why. What she expecting his answer to be, or was it that she was anxious for what she hoped his answer to be. No that couldn't be it; she didn't feel that way anymore. Then why are you here if you don't think she feels that way anymore? Because you're just hoping she feels that way, he thought.
Gibbs made his way over to Jenny and just stood in front of her, her face to face – not even touching- and just stared down at her.
She couldn't help but inhale his scent with him being so close to her; it smelled so masculine, it was so unique to him – a mixture of bourbon, sawdust and coffee. She could never get that scent out of her head, especially after she left. It seemed as if everything she owned was bathed in it. She didn't realize she had closed her eyes and unconsciously leaned forward until her eyes opened and saw how much closer they had gotten. All it would take is for her to lean a little closer….
Gibbs knew all it would take was just a slight move forward and their lips would be touching – finally. But he wasn't sure if she was ready for that yet, so he moved his hands up to cup the sides of her face and gently rubbed over her, under her eyes, over her lips. She was fallowing his movements with her face, leaning into his hands. He knew she was ready when she put her hands over his and she looked him straight in the eyes with a sort of pleading look in them.
Slowly, so slowly it seemed that life was rolling in slow motion, Gibbs bent his head down so his lips lightly touched hers. It didn't take long for Jenny to string her fingers through his hair and pull him down harder onto her lips. Jethro reciprocated by busying his hands in her hair, loving how she had started to grow it out again.
They made their way over to her desk and Jen was now pressed hard against it. Jethro, sensing her discomfort, hoisted her up onto her desk knocking the lamp over in the process. Jen now realized the desk wasn't the only thing she had been pressed hard against.
She kissed her way over to his ear and whispered, "I think we should take this upstairs now."
"Yeah?"
"I don't plan on going back now Jethro. Especially when things are left unfinished," she smirked while saying this and motioned downward slightly. He caught on to what she was referring to.
"It wouldn't have been the first time you've left me hanging," alluding to a time when she had gotten the bright idea that right in the middle of…something, they should take a weeks break from their otherwise unprofessional activities.
Jen, still near to his ear, said, "I don't think hanging is the problem here, do you?" And with that she hopped off the desk and swiftly made her way upstairs, her hips swaying back and forth a bit more than usual.
It didn't take long for Gibbs to run after, catching her at the stairs he grabbed her hand and pulled her up the stairs and towards her bedroom.
"Glad to know you still know the way their Jethro, I mean it has been a while."
He shot her, what was supposed to be, a Gibbs stare and muttered under his breath, "Don't remind me."
He shoved open the French doors that led to her bedroom with a sense of urgency Jenny hadn't seen him use in a while. Not since – her train of thought was cut off buy the feeling of Gibbs' lips crashing onto hers. It always made her mind go blank and she forgot everything she was thinking at that moment.
With a sense of urgency in them both, they quickly stripped each other of their clothing and throwing themselves down onto the bed. As Jethro was just about to enter Jenny, he realized how fast they were going. He looked down at the beautiful woman under him who was wearing a look of confusion on her face.
"Do you really want this Jenny? I mean really want this? Because I don't want this to be something you decide we need to forget about in the morning. I have waited too damn long to let this be just a one time thing."
His gaze held hers as she answered him, her voice steady and full assuredness, "Of course I want this. You have no idea how long I've wanted this. And I swear if you let me go after this, I will keelhaul your ass out of here faster than you can think."
He looked down at her in disbelief, and he did the only thing he could think of doing; he bent down and kissed with all the passion that had accumulated since she had come back to NCIS as the Director. After what seemed like minutes turned into hours, he realized what he had started doing but never finished, so slid into her and as he did they both moaned as the feeling of completeness overtook them.
They seemed to quickly fall into sync with each other like they had done so many years before, and soon they were both reaching their peaks. They moaned each others name in total satisfaction and bliss, Jen biting Jethro's shoulder as she said his name aloud surely leaving a mark that would be visible by morning and a solid reminder of the night's festivities. However Jen didn't go unscathed, there would be marks on her hips where Jethro had a firm hold on her while pumping in and out and she was sure she would have to wear a turtleneck tomorrow for Gibbs had remembered her weak spot at the hollow of her throat and exploited it to its fullest.
Both of them panting heavily as they looked at one another, Gibbs realized how worn out his arms had gotten from holding himself up. Slowly he lowered himself to the side of Jen, but she rolled so she was caught half way underneath his body.
As if sensing his puzzlement Jen explained, "I always loved the feeling of your body on top of mine. It helped me knew you were there."
"I'm not going anywhere"
"I know, but I still like it none the less."
He smiled one of his genuine smiles at her and slowly rolled off of her but quickly wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her close and nuzzled his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her perfume as if he was committing it to memory, which he already had years ago. He placed soft kisses on her neck and shoulder as she covered his hands with her own and drew small circles over them.
Jen and Jethro fell asleep wrapped up in each others embrace, with a content smile evident on both their faces.
--
Jethro was the first of the two to wake up. He opened his eyes and for a moment wondered how he managed to end up with some redhead wrapped up in his arms, but then he recognized the certain shade of red hair and that certain scent of only one woman he knew. He smiled as he tightened his grip around her.
Jenny felt something heavy holding onto her when she woke up and instantly froze, but then remembered everything that happened the night before and who it had happened with. She rolled over to face, what she thought was going to be someone asleep, but instead was met by a pair of piercing blue eyes.
"Good morning," she said as she snuggled closer, taking in his warmth.
"Morning," he kissed the top of her head and brought her as close as he could.
"I need coffee," she motioned to get up but was caught by a pair of hands grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back down to the bed.
"Jethro really, I need coffee before I go to – oh God what time it is? We need to get to work."
"Relax I called Cynthia and told her to move all your meetings to the afternoon because you will be getting into work late."
"And how exactly did you explain why you were calling instead of me?"
"I told her that we both received bad news last night regarding an old colleague of ours that he was in the hospital and I came over early this morning to make sure you were okay and when I got here I found you asleep on the couch in your study with 1/3 of a bottle of bourbon missing. And you were having a hard time getting up."
"So you basically told her I was suffering from a hangover Jethro? Couldn't you have come up with something that wouldn't make look oh I don't know, a little less irresponsible!"
"It was the best I could do on short notice."
She let out a heavy sigh but let it go. "How are you going to explain to your team why you are so late? The Silver Haired Fox is never late," she smirked at the use of the nickname Abby had given him.
"If my team has learned anything, they won't be asking any questions."
She gave him an inquiring look but pressed the issue no longer.
"I still need coffee."
"How about instead, we go and grab a bite to eat at that French café you love so much. You can get coffee there and something to eat."
"You remember that little café?"
"Jen, I remember a lot more than you give me credit for. Did you think I would forget everything?"
"Oh, no I was definitely reminded of how much you remembered last night." She gave him a sly grin and slowly made her way back to him, pressing her lips to his.
He let out something between a moan and a growl, she wasn't quite sure, but she didn't care what it was because all it did was send shivers down her spine. She now wished he had told Cynthia to cancel all her meetings for the entire day so she could just stay here in bed with him like they used to.
Even though she was enjoying this quite a bit, she pulled away. "I still need to get ready."
"But we have all morning. Just come back to bed."
"If we still want to get to work somewhat on time and not want to feel rushed at the café, we have to get ready. Not to mention you still have to go by your place to pick up clothes. We don't need anything more to what I'm sure is already a growing fire."
Jethro sighed in defeat and grumbled something inaudible to Jenny and she just laughed it off as she made her way to the bathroom to get ready. About a half an hour later she finally came out, only to find an empty bedroom. So she went downstairs thinking maybe he couldn't take the lack of coffee but when she came into the kitchen he wasn't there.
Thinking the worst but hoping for the best she made her way back to her room and noticed something sitting on the pillow on her side of the bed. She pulled it off and unfolded the note.
J –
Swung by my house to change into some new clothes. Pick you up at 9:45.
J –
P.S. – I like you walking around with no robe
She scoffed at the last comment and looked at the clock which read 9:35. She had ten minutes to make she had everything together. Jen looked around the mess that had become her room. The bed especially had looked like a tornado came through it.
Jenny went downstairs to her study and realized that the case file from last night was still lying face open on her desk. She decided she could finish what was left of the file at her office. As she put the last file in her brief case she felt a presence behind and once again that masculine smell made its way around the room.
"I thought you left me this morning."
Gibbs came and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his in the nook of her neck and she laid her head on his shoulder.
"You won't ever have to worry about me doing that."
"Good to know," she turned around to face him and wrapped her around his neck. Jethro bent down and placed a soft kiss on her lips.
"Ready to go?" Jen just nodded and he grabbed her hand to lead her out the door.
--
"This is fantastic, thank you."
"Not a problem," he said as he bent down to kiss her, his one free hand going to her hair. She broke it off before they got too carried away but not without the little protests made by Gibbs.
"God I haven't been here in I don't know how long."
"Why not?"
"Too many memories I suppose." They went silent for a moment, thinking about the mistake they had made in the past. Gibbs looked down at her and gave a reassuring squeeze to her hand and she smiled up at him.
"Agent Gibbs I think it is time we go to work." She started to make her way to the car.
"Yes ma'am Madame Director." He smirked as he said this and Jen looked over her with a if-looks-could-kill glare. He laughed and that only fueled her more.
"Something funny Special Agent Gibbs?" Her voice every bit icy.
"Nothing at all Jen. Lets just go." She shook her head to herself but got in the car nonetheless.
--
Back at NCIS, Tony and Ziva were arguing back and forth.
"There is nothing going on between then Tony," she shouted loud enough to make her point clear but without letting the entire building know what they were talking about.
"Open yours Ziva, the Director isn't here and neither is Gibbs. Since when does Gibbs come in late or miss a day of work huh?"
"First, we do not know if the Director is in or not. She might have gotten here before anyone else. It wouldn't be the first time. And second, Gibbs can do whatever he pleases when he pleases."
"Well there is one way to settle knowing if the Director is here or not," Tony said and motioned upstairs. Tired of arguing about this nonsense, Ziva agreed and followed Tony up the stair case.
"Well good morning there Cynthia. We just have a quick question for you."
Cynthia looked hesitant but nodded her head.
"Is the Director in?"
"Um, actually she isn't. Not at the moment."
"And why is that?"
"Well, I was – uh – notified that…she would be coming in late today and that I should – um – move all her meetings to the afternoon." Ziva felt bad for the girl, she looked as if she might be sick.
"You have been wonderful Cynthia, thank you." She looked away but nodded, probably feeling as if she had just betrayed her boss.
Tony and Ziva made their way back downstairs. They stopped by the elevator, Tony wearing a satisfied smirk on his face.
--
Jen looked over to Jethro as the elevator started to rise. "Something amusing Gibbs?"
"Nothing Jen just thought maybe you'd like to freshen up a bit before we got off at the elevator. Your hair seems to be a little ruffled in the back." The look on her face was priceless but he forced himself not to laugh or smile. She quickly pulled out a mirror from her purse and fixed the back of her hair. She shot Gibbs a look that meant do not say anything about this.
As the elevator doors opened, two familiar voices could be heard.
"I told you there was something going on."
"That proved nothing Tony. There is nothing horsey going on between them."
"Fishy Zee-vah. The term is fishy not horsey."
"What's fishy DiNozzo?"
Tony jumped at the sound of his boss' voice and looked to see both him and the Director get out of the elevator. However, Tony noticed the Director didn't look too happy as she stalked right pass them and made her way up the stairs.
"Nothing Boss."
"That's what I thought," Gibbs said as he walked pass DiNozzo, giving him a good head slap along the way.
"Ow, I deserved that Boss."
"Damn right DiNozzo."
--
It had been a slow day with no cases. All of them had been stuck doing paperwork and it was taking a toll on them. Gibbs looked up towards the Jen's office. He pushed back from his desk rather forcefully and as his team looked up he gave them a look that said get back to work and they all did so.
He took the stairs two at a time and walked right pass Cynthia's desk but not before asking, "The Director in?" Of course he didn't wait for a reply as pushed the doors open.
"Something I can do for you Special Agent Gibbs?" Her voice hard and dripped of authority.
"I just came to see how you were doing Jen." She looked up at him when she heard the sincerity in his voice. Her director mask fell and her face softened as she rubbed her temples.
"It's been a long day Jethro, of just sitting at my desk."
"Isn't that what directors do Jen?" She shot him a look telling him she didn't want to discuss the pros and cons of being a field agent vs. a director.
As his way of apologizing he moved his way behind her and put his hands at the base of her neck and shoulders, gently rubbing them. Jen always loved his massages, the way his rough and calloused fingers moved amongst her smooth skin. She let out a sigh and Gibbs turned her chair around so she was facing him. He bent down and kissed her and it didn't take her long to react. Jen threw her arms around his neck and moved out of the chair and onto her desk so they were more level.
They jumped apart as they heard the door quickly open and saw Tony standing there with an embarrassed and shocked expression.
"I –uh– I knocked Boss. I really did, but no one said anything and Cynthia said you were both in here and so –"
"Something you needed DiNozzo?"
"Well just, I…the team, we were wondering if we could go home. We have all the files done and they're sitting on your desk."
"Go home DiNozzo."
"Really? Great thanks Boss," he said quickly as he turned to leave out the door.
"DiNozzo," Gibbs shouted at him.
"Yeah Boss?"
"Did I say you could leave?"
"Well you said –"
"How much?"
"How much what Boss?"
"How much do win for that bet you have going on?"
"Oh that, well I put down 50." Gibbs took out his wallet and pulled out a 50 dollar bill. He walked over to DiNozzo and shoved it in his hand. "There you go. And now you lose the bet got it?"
"Of course." Tony left the room quietly.
"Did you really have to be so hard on him," Jenny asked.
"Probably not, but I needed to be sure he got the point." He bent down to kiss her again, and they picked up right where they left off before they were interrupted.
"You know you never answered my question from last night."
"Which one?"
"The one when I asked why you were there."
"I thought I answered it pretty clearly last night. But if you need a reminder, I'm sure I can come up with something."
"Oh really?"
"Mhmm."
"Well I'm ready to leave how about you?"
"Lead the way Director."
--
They were lying in her bed, just holding each other, both of them perfectly content.
"I've known," Gibbs whispered softly into her ear.
"Known what?"
"That you were the one for me. It just took me a while to act on it."
"Well I'm glad you did. I'm not sure I could have waited much longer." She turned over and kissed him softly on the lips and smiled. His hold around her tightened and they fell asleep holding each other all night.
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