Katie Duggan was about seven years old when she started planning her dream wedding. In that iteration, the wedding colours were going to be brown and red, and the wedding cake would be made out of skittles and frosting.
As she got older the details changed, but she always dreamed of marrying the only man she ever loved; Felix Kjellburg.
Katie was just a young girl when she stumbled across Felix's videos, uploaded on YouTube under his alias of 'PewDiePie' - a name that sent shivers of ecstasy straight to Katie's core when ever she read it. She carried her undying love for the charming man all throughout her teenage years, and finally, the day came when she managed to meet Felix, the day where their love story truly began.
It was a typical rainy day in Dublin, Ireland. Katie awoke bright and early, rushing downstairs to eat breakfast quickly so she could get to school and see her amazing best friend, Elena, who always brightened her day with her winning smile and sharp wit. During the school day, as Katie sat bored at the back of her English class, scrolling endlessly through Twitter as her teacher droned on about a Shakespeare play she had already read 15 times when she was 4, she noticed something as she skimmed through the small notes of ''omg dan and phil lol so hot''. It was a tweet from PewDiePie. She smiled at the thought of him and read it carefully, savouring each word as if it were a sweet piece of Swedish butterscotch.
Smiling at the small spelling mistakes the Swede man usually made- ''hisitetly'' she remembered fondly with a blush and a giggle- but her laughter halted as she took in the words displayed in front of her. '' eitakk your so hot XD can we meet up? dm me you're adress :) #BroTag'' She gasped loudly, half in shock and half just to get sweet sweet air into her lungs, which had suddenly appeared to have abandoned her body; Felix had truly taken her breath away. She began to shake and cough violently, alerting the rest of the class. Heads turned, and hands were placed over mouths in shock as Katie began to rock backwards and forwards, foaming at the mouth. Her English teacher had tears in her eyes, so saddened to see the most talented pupil she had ever known to be in such pain, and pressed the emergency ambulance button hidden under her desk. The paramedics were there in seconds, ready to whisk Katie away to the nearest hospital, and as they loaded Katie into the ambulance, she thought of Felix, and his beautiful blue eyes. This image of her love gave her a spontaneous burst of energy and she managed to quickly type out her address in a DM to PewDiePie before darkness consumed her once again.
Katie woke up to a blinding white light, and quickly shut her sapphire eyes again, shielding them with her petite, pale hands. A voice reached her. ''Katie? Can you hear me? Oh, please, wake up!'' It was Elena. Katie sat up immediately, taking in the tear-streaked face of her best friend. She looked like she hadn't slept in weeks. ''You look like shit,'' Katie told her. ''How long have you been here for?'' Elena sniffed dramatically. ''T-T-T-Two months...you only woke up now.'' Katie gasped at this shock of information; two months?! How could that be possible? If she was unconscious for two months, then she wouldn't have been able to shave! What if Felix knew? He would be so grossed out! At the mere thought of disappointing her dream man, she fainted yet again, fading out of the stark white hospital room into blackness yet again.
Katie was in agony. She was drifting in and out of consciousness, unaware of what was real and what was fantasy; she had strange dreams of people she knew and loved doing strange, unexplainable things; Brendon Urie sat beside her, completely naked, whittling a potato; Gerard Way sat on her hospital bed massaging her toes; Jamie Campbell Bower blew air on her face for ten minutes; Johnny Depp did 100 squats by her bedside as she watched, sobbing uncontrollably, begging him to stop, but he never did, and finally she fainted again, out of exhaustion. When she woke up she was not in the hospital bed, but in her own bed. As she stretched out on her Egyptian cotton sheets in her queen sized four-poster bed, she began to feel calm for the first time in months, when a voice came from the far end of the large room, a deep, smooth voice, dripping with sex. ''H-h-how's it going, sexy!'' It was Felix! She screamed, a blood-curdling shriek of happiness, sending her into the realms of sleep yet again.
When Katie woke up, she was not alone. As her eyes adjusted to the sudden light streaming in from her stained glass windows, she was treated to the sight of Felix, lying on his side beside her on the bed, his soft lips stretched into a wide grin, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief, and his beard twitching with laughter. ''Hello Katie.'' he spoke, finally breaking the deafening silence in the room, cutting the tension perfectly with his metaphorical sword of charm. Katie tried to speak back to him, she really did, but the words got stuck in her throat, tangled up in a confused mess of questions and declarations of love. Finally, after several minutes of spluttering on Katie's part, and patient waiting on Felix's, Katie managed to utter, ''Ungh.'' That animalistic, lust and love filled noise hung in the air like a melody, mixed in with a moan, and Felix's eyes glazed over with desire as he held her gaze, their blue eyes meeting in a battle of love.
Another long, tense silence followed, as Katie shut her cerulean eyes and tried to muster up the courage to speak. Finally, her gentle, frightened but slightly aroused voice reached Felix's tender Swedish ears. ''Why are you here?'' Katie gasped at her own boldness. ''I'm sorry, I- I didn't mean to sound so rude, I just- oh golly gosh, I'm so sorry,'' she sobbed, burying her face in her hands. Felix sighed and laughed softly, a sound that made Katie's body thrum with electricity. ''Don't even worry about it, Katie. I'm here because I'm truly enchanted by you. Your beautiful eyes remind of the amazing artwork of games such as Journey. Remember that game? Man, that was so gorgeous. Just like you.'' Felix said, taking her hands away from her face and stroking them gently.
''R-really?'' Katie mumbled. ''Would I lie to you?'' Felix asked her, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow. ''N-no, of course not. I'm sorry.'' she repeated. ''Like I said, don't even worry about it. I don't want you to worry about anything. Ever. Again.'' Felix said, his voice suddenly filled with a firm sense of concern. ''I heard that you had a seizure when you read my tweet. I don't want to put you in that kind of danger, Katie. But, I suppose I can't help it. I am dangerous, and you should stay away from me, Katie. I could kill you. I'm a monster.'' Felix's glorious face screwed up with pain as his body shook with sobs. ''Oh! Oh Felix, oh baby, please don't cry. I promise I won't ever be hurt by you ever again, I swear it!'' Katie said, her words rushing out in an attempt to sooth the beautiful god of a man, who was now crying uncontrollably. ''I'm sorry! I'm sorry Katie I just can't bear the thought of never being able to see you again, to never be able to hold your hand again, or kiss you again...'' Katie swooned at this fine piece of poetry spilling from the Swede's mouth, and dreamily spoke, ''But you never have kissed me.'' Felix stopped crying immediately, his sorrow replaced with a look of lust. ''Let's change that then,'' he groaned, and roughly grabbed Katie's head, snatching her lips in a fiery kiss.
That was how Katie found herself lying on her own bed, stripped down to just her underwear, watching as Felix backed away from the bed after having ripped off her clothes with his teeth. ''W-W-Where are you going?!'' Katie whinged, making grabby hands at the sexy beast. Felix smirked. ''I thought that maybe...you wanted a bit of a show, before the...big finale.'' He winked roughishly. ''Oh yes please,'' Katie whimpered, her mind reeling at her luck; she couldn't believe this was happening! Felix pulled his iPhone 7 out of the pocket of his million dollar chinos, and quickly turned on a song. The opening notes of Bad Behaviour by Jedward filled the room, and Felix grinned at Katie's surprised expression. ''How did you know I love Jedward?!'' she cried. ''I've done my research. You're not the only one with amazing stalker abilities,'' he chuckled, as he began to strip slowly. Sliding effortlessly out of his Abercrombie and Fitch T-shirt, and gracefully shimmying off his chinos, Felix stood, naked in Katie's room. Naked! PewDiePie! In HER BEDROOM! Katie was almost delirious with excitement, but Felix's face morphed into a look of seriousness. ''Enough with the teasing. Time for some pleasing.'' he said, and pounced on to the bed.
Katie shuddered with anticipation. Felix giggled softly at her nerves. He began to run his hands up and down her arms, and Katie emitted a nervous squeak. ''Are you ready for this Swedish sausage, sweetheart?'' he murmured sweetly. Katie froze with fear, before saying, ''...Yes?'' Felix's head whipped up sharply at her hesitant tone. ''What do you mean 'yes?''' he whispered. ''I mean..yes. I'm ready.'' she said, forcing a sure tone into her voice. It didn't work. Felix sighed. ''Are you not ready yet, Katie? Do you...not like my body?'' he whispered hurtly. ''No, I do! I love your body so much, Felix, fuck you're one sexy bitch. It's just that...'' ''What is it? Tell me.'' Felix demanded worriedly. ''Whatever it is, I'll fix it, baby!'' ''I'm really hungry,'' Katie blurted out, turning cherry red as soon as she said it, and turning to push her head into the duvet as she wept with humiliation. Felix laughed loudly. ''Is that it? Well shit, why didn't you say so honey!'' He grabbed his phone from where he had set it down somewhere nearby before, and dialed a number. ''Hello, Pizza Hut? No I don't want to hear your prices. This is PewDiePie speaking. Get me 3 vegetarian pizzas and a large basket of garlic bread, a 3 litre bottle of Coke and some chicken strips. And by the way, if any of this is cold, I'll fucking kill you. Do you understand me?'' Katie couldn't help but tremble at the dominance in his voice, and couldn't wait until what would happen after they had eaten, and he could put that power to good use...in the bedroom.
As Katie and Felix waited for their Pizza Hut delivery to arrive, they sat curled up on her bed, listening to the rain against the window, revealing each other's deepest and darkest secrets, learning about the other. Katie revealed so much to Felix, things that she had never told anyone before, things she didn't even know herself, but he took them all in without fault, as if he had heard it all before. He truly was the man of her dreams. In those few minutes, they became inseparable Exchanging stories about school teachers and the funny stories they had about them, gossip about people that Katie didn't even know, but was juicy nonetheless, and even very personal secrets about Felix's close circle of loved ones. ''Ken isn't my friend.'' Felix admitted sadly. Katie attempted to fake a look of shock, and Felix laughed hysterically at her pitiful attempt at humour. Katie blushed with shame; girls weren't funny, she should have known that. After the laughter subsided, Felix went on, ''He just always replies to everything I tweet, it's so fucking irritating, but I feel bad for the little shit. I guess I'm just too nice for my own good.'' Felix sighed. ''You are too nice...but not in a bad way.'' Katie simpered. Felix grinned at her. ''I can be naughty too,'' he said flirtily, and Katie's mouth fell open at the raw sexuality in his voice. They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Katie screamed in shock, before scrambling off the bed and shoving her Prada dress back over her head before opening the polished, cherry wood door. It was Molly, Katie's maid. ''ders sum pizza man outside r sum 4 u will i let um in ha'' she squawked. Katie winced at her piercing voice, before saying, ''Yes, and hurry, I'm fucking starving.'' ''Alri calm ur fuckin tits'' said Molly, and she ran down the stairs to let him in. Katie waited at the door for the pizza man, and she could feel Felix's eyes, burning into her ass, and she smiled a little as Felix let out an appreciative moan of ''Dat ass...'' from the bed. Soon, a man came up the stairs. Katie was stunned by the man's beauty. With a smooth head of raven hair, sky blue eyes, a cute crooked nose and a dazzling, sparkling set of pearly whites, this was without a doubt the hottest pizza delivery man that had ever set foot in the Duggan mansion. ''Hiya, I'm Stephen. Three vegetarian pizzas, a large basket of garlic bread, a 3 litre bottle of Coke and some chicken strips for Katie Duggan and PewDiePie, right?'' Katie's knees buckled. This man's alluring voice was almost enough to make her faint again. She snapped back to her senses, remembering Felix. ''Um yeah. Thanks!'' she giggled, taking the food from him. ''No problem, babe.'' Stephen said, looking her up and down.
Stephen began to walk back down the stairs, and Katie sighed, blowing a kiss goodbye to his hot ass, when suddenly Felix ran to the door. ''WAIT!'' he bellowed, and Stephen jumped, before running back to the door. ''What is it, man?'' Felix glared at Stephen, like a proud lion observing a piece of meat before devouring it whole. ''I have to check if the food is hot, don't I?'' he whispered menacingly. ''Eh yeah?'' Stephen replied. ''Well get in here then,'' Felix spat, ''And keep your eyes off my woman.'' Katie giggled at being referred to as his, and traipsed back into the room after Felix. Felix brought the food to Katie's desk, and snapped his fingers at Stephen. ''Serve the food.'' he demanded, and Stephen quickly flew about the room, whipping knives and forks from his sleeves and porcelain plates from nowhere. As he worked, Katie couldn't help but admire the beautiful whirlwind that he was, and a tear slid down Felix's face as he realised that Katie couldn't resist Stephen's charms. In a matter of seconds, the food was served, and Felix stepped forward. He sneered at the silver forks laid out by Stephen, and pulled a sparkling gold fork from the desk drawer, engraved with an intricate design of the letters ''PWP''. He cut a sliver of chicken and raised it to his sexy lips...and sniffed. He dropped the fork immediately. ''...Stone cold.'' he whispered devastatingly. Stephen stood in the room, completely bewildered as to why this naked Swedish man was getting so worked up over some fucking Pizza Hut chicken strips. Felix turned to Stephen and said, ''If you weren't so fucking gorgeous I would stab you right now. But I can't hurt pretty people. We are a dying race. You may leave now with your life, pizza man, but be grateful that you are.'' Stephen said ''Eh okay,'' laughed shortly and backed out of the room, leaving the couple on their own. Felix turned to Katie. ''I'm so sorry Katie. I had no idea that the food would be cold.'' He looked so upset that Katie couldn't help but let out an 'aw' at his cuteness. ''It doesn't matter.'' she said. ''I'm not hungry any more. Let's get down to business.''
Katie was ready, she knew this was the moment she had been waiting for. "God this will be good," Katie muttered. Felix felt his penis going off like a rocket. Both had now lost their breath, and stood there there, looking at each other. After catching their breaths for a few seconds, Katie tackled Felix, and started feeling his ass, as he started palming her breasts. Felix stroked his fingers gently over her nipple. Katie stopped what she was doing and all her muscles relaxed, and she let out a small sigh. "Again," she whispered. Felix admired her breasts. They weren't overly large, but not too small either, just as he liked it. He then took both his hands and started rubbing her nipples. Katie got so wet, that she actually started dripping onto Felix's body below her. She proceeded to squeeze his ass, and started rubbing his already massive erection. He let out a moan of pleasure, and semen started trickling out of his penis. He took one of his hands from her breasts, and started caressing his way down her chest and stomach, until he reached between her legs. Felix slid his hand down there, fingering her. She moaned as she bent down, kissing his wet-with-semen penis, licking it off. After having his finger in there for a few moments, Felix used his other free hand to caress her breasts, and she rolled onto his body, so that his penis was touching her ass. They kissed passionately for a few seconds, before Katie let Felix have entrance by lowering herself onto him. She let out a brief squeal as he broke the barrier, but after that, they started loving to the highest degree. Felix was squeezing and licking Katie's nipples, and she moaned in pleasure, higher and higher, until Felix came inside of her, as she screamed his name. "Felix!" She screamed, as she herself came, and Felix also yelled her name. "Katie!"
Katie and Felix collapsed on to the bed together, exhausted but happy after the amazing sexing they just did. Felix was crying softly. ''I'm sorry.'' he sobbed. ''I always crymax.'' Katie responded, ''awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhh. I'm so glad you're here. I'm tierd of sleeping alone. '' and they fell asleep, wrapped in eachother's arms. The next morning, Katie woke up, alone. She leapt from the bed and ran around her giant bedroom, pulling open drawers, looking under the bed, checking every inch of her walk-in closet, but Felix was nowhere to be seen. She fell to the floor and wailed loudly like a fuckin whale. Her maid came running but Katie told her to fuck off because she was too upset. ''but katie omg felix is outside in de gazebo omg lol go see um? ha'' Katie decided to take Molly's advice, and she put on her orange blouse with see-through sleeves, with some lace sewed on to the front by blind French nuns, and a pair of high-waisted mom jeans, and her studded bright pink Doc Martens and of course her trademark cat ears hairband. She was ready to see her man. Katie strutted out the mansion's front door on to the huge, beautiful gardens. She saw the little golden gazebo made my Indonesian children in a sweatshop in the distance, and started making her way over. Her heart was beating fast. She thought she might pass out, half from excitement and half from all the dirty, wild sex they had last night. Katie walked faster, frustrated at how long the road to her luscious lover was. The slight change in pace was too much for the dainty girl to handle, and as she fell to the ground, she called out ''Fe...lix...'' as darkness stole her away from reality. Again.
When Katie woke up, she was in the arms of her Swedish lover, right where she belonged. She cuddled into his chest. ''Ooooooh Felix,'' she said. ''Shh princess...'' Felix said, as he set her down on the intricately designed floor of the gazebo. Katie sat up gingerly. ''I think there's something wrong with me Felix I keep fucking passing out idgi'' Felix looked crestfallen. ''No don't say that baby girl you have to stay alive so I can live my life with you forever!'' he said aggressively. ''Well it's not my fault you fucked me so hard this is your fault.'' Katie snapped. ''I know I'm sorry I just couldn't help myself you looked so great the style was just great.'' Felix said regretfully. ''Stop referring to me like a fucking video game I'm more than that Felix. Do you even love me?'' Katie said. She was sick of the bullshit. Who makes the love of their life walk for ages just to go see them in her own garden? That was just cruel, in Katie's opinion. ''I need something more from you. I need something sacred from you. If you want me meet me in electric chapel. If you wanna steal my heart away meet me meet me baby in a safe place come on meet me in electric chapel.'' And then Katie got up and ran away, leaving Felix to piece together the puzzle pieces she had just left him, and to piece together the pieces of heart, which lay metaphorically shattered on the gazebo floor.