Moon
Dempsey - Anger problem
Richtofen - Annoying doctor
Nikolai - Drunk Russian
Takeo - Obsessed with 'Honah'!
Dempsey and Richtofen hate each other. Everyone hates Nikolai. Takeo is the odd man out.
Call of Duty: Zombies: 4 Men too Many, Story 2
"Richtofen. Why? Do you... Do you do this on purpose or something?" Said Dempsey as they seemed to be in a desert base. All four of them looked around. There was a pack-a-punch machine right in front of them with metal gates all around. The ground was dry but some spots had knee deep water puddles. There was also a building behind them with a big teleporter looking machine.
"I try to bring ush home Dempshee, but it seems my calculations are alwaysh a bit off." Said Richtofen.
"Well maybe you should actually do your math right for once! You're a fucking doctor for gods sake!" Said Dempsey.
"Uh guys." Said Nikolai trying to get their attention.
"Well shvuck, maybe you should do ten thousand lines of math without making a shingle mishtake!" Replied Richtofen.
"Guys." Nikolai still attempted.
"Shut the fuck up! Now take us home dipshit!"
"GUYS!" Nikolai finally got their attention and just pointed to the short distance away from them. There were zombies coming out of the ground and were slowly heading towards them. Dempsey just smacked Richtofen.
"ZOMBIES AGAIN? Richtofen you fuck up!" Dempsey just knifed a few zombies dead. He kept killing them with his blade. "Haha dumb stupid-ass zombies!" He kept shanking them while saying 'oorah'.
The three of them stood there and watched as Dempsey kept killing zombies one by one. Suddenly a loud beeping noise blared through some speakers and the zombies all came with a run. Dempsey took three stabs at zombies before they finally died. "The hell is going on here?" The three of them noticed the big teleporter in the building behind them activate itself.
"Up there!" Yelled Nikolai. Everyone quickly rushed over to the teleporter. Dempsey was the last one still, and was only at the knee deep puddle trying to make it. The rest of them were yelling telling him to hurry up. Dogs started zapping in from thin air behind Dempsey.
"Oh shit!" Yelled Dempsey in a panic and sprinted to the teleporter. It was activating and they all knew they were being teleported to a new location. The dogs were running at them full speed and lunged in the air towards Dempsey, just before they chewed Dempsey's face off, none of them could breathe. "What the h-h-hell?"
Takeo motioned to some suits and head gear hanging on a wall just in front of them. They all rushed to grab a suit but Dempsey shoved Richtofen to the floor and grabbed his suit, then took the extra suit and threw it across the room in hopes that Richtofen would suffocate to death. Richtofen got up and grabbed another from the wall beside him. All the suits had wireless headsets so they could all still hear each other.
"You tried to kill me!" Screamed Richtofen.
"Uh, yeah?" Replied Dempsey. "That was the general idea."
"Where are we?" Asked Takeo.
They all looked around and had no clue. They were bouncing high in the not-air and felt very light.
"Heh heh, usually I have to drink to feel this light on my feet!" Said Nikolai. "You know cause vodka does that."
Dempsey turned to Nikolai. "Yes Nikolai, I'm quite aware what alcohol does to your brain."
A womans voice could be heard with a riff at the end and a red line indicating a round of zombies was beginning. Dempsey walked over to Richtofen and pulled a tube connecting his helmet to his suit and he started to suffocate. Richtofen quickly fastened it again and gave Dempsey a sour look.
"Zombie's here too?" Asked Takeo.
"Yeah, thank the doctor for that." Replied Dempsey.
"Zombie's are bad for my honah!"
Dempsey turned around and walked over to Takeo this time. "Takeo, if you keep mentioning your honor I'll.." He had a not so serious look on his face. "I fuckin' rip your lungs out and shove them so far up your ass you'll be eating them. K?" Then he gave a light smack on his shoulder while smiling. "K." Takeo had a look of terror on his face imagining that.
The four of them were shanking zombies until the third round. "Guess we better get better guns." Said Dempsey.
"We are very light, and we bounce high and we couldn't breathe without these suits. I wonder if we're on the moon." Nikolai Said.
"Don't be ridiculous Nikolai." Replied Richtofen. When they opened the door to go outside they saw the Earth way in the distance. "Hmm. Interesting."
"I hate you Richtofen. I really do." Said Dempsey as he saw the M14 station. Underneath an arch they all saw an astronaut slowly bouncing towards them.
"Hey! Another person!"
Said Nikolai in delight. Richtofen walked up to him.
"Excuse me good sir but we sheem to be stuck and somehow ended up-" He stopped when the astronaut grabbed him and shook him violently. "Hey! Vhat are you doing? Put me down!"
Dempsey smiled. "Heh, I kinda like that guy." A loud bang could be heard through every ones headset and the doctor disappeared. "Woo! YEAH!" Dempsey went on his knees and went into a praying position. "Thank you. Thank you!"
"I'm okay! I just appeared back in the room we were at!" Said Richtofen as he bounced back out to the rest of them.
Dempsey immediately stood up again. "Of course! Of fucking course!"
"You bashtard will pay for that!" Yelled Richtofen as he shot his M14 at the approaching astronaut. Eventually it blew up and the initial shockwave sent everyone flying. They all looked over to see Takeo fly off the edge of a cliff and die. "Oopsh."
"Richtofen you are the biggest piece of shit on- uh, the moon." Said Dempsey.
"Oh don't worry he'll resurrect when round three is done." Replied the doctor.
Round three was complete and Takeo could be heard in their headsets. "Ugh that dying, it was not good for honah!" Dempsey stormed up the stairs back into the first room and threw Takeo clear across the room. He scrambled to his feet but Dempsey was right there to throw him out the door and over the cliff edge again, killing Takeo. Dempsey walked back out and was making the motions of dusting his hands off.
"I've had enough of that guy." He said. Then he looked over to Richtofen. He was looking at the Earth. Dempsey shrugged than tossed the doctor over the edge too. Nikolai was shaking while Dempsey looked at him. "You're not going to mention a certain alcoholic beverage are you?" Nikolai shook his head fast. "Yeah. Good idea."
The two of them killed off all the zombies to enter round 5. Richtofen and Takeo ran down the stairs and started shoving Dempsey around while calling him derogatory insults. "You guys stop it!" Dempsey held his M14 up pointing it towards the doctor and Takeo. Takeo and the doctor looked at each other and smirked then puled out Olympia's and pointed them towards Dempsey. "Oh I see what's going on here."
"Hey hey hey hey guys! Stop this nonsense!" Yelled Nikolai and got in between them all. "Lets not fight over this! We have zombies to kill!" They all looked at each other and slowly lowered their guns. "We also have vodka to find!" They all immediately raised their guns and shot Nikolai dead. They nodded at each other and continued the slaughtering of zombies. Richtofen grabbed an insta kill powerup and the round ended pretty quickly.
"Okay that's it. That's it!" They all heard in their headsets in Nikolai's voice. He came outside and shoved down Takeo. All of them were jammering away at each other until they could all hear Nikolai crying and stopped. "You guys don't get it!" He began and was sniffling. "When I was a young man in Moscow, I had this stepfather you see." Dempsey, Richtofen and Takeo were listening quietly. "My stepfather was mean to me. The only way I could cope was to take up drinking. I figured if I drank and got drunk, I wouldn't remember what he did to me..."
Richtofen spoke up, "Oh Nikolai we had no idea. Did your shtep father beat you?"
"Yes he beat me." They all looked in pity. "He beat me in board games, and sports and-"
Dempsey punched Nikolai in the ribs as hard as he could and they all walked away from him. "Can you believe that guy?" Asked Dempsey.
"He really had me going for a minute there." Replied Richtofen.
"Shut up." Said Dempsey. Richtofen stopped walking and just raised his hands in the body language asking why.
"Deceiving is bad for ones honah!"
"TAKEO YOU! OoOhHH! SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR HONOR!" Dempsey yelled. "YOU HAVE NO HONOR YOU PIECE A' SHIT! FUCK YOU!" He flipped Takeo the bird then proceeded to enter into what looked like catacombs. It was all blue and zombies were coming out of the ceiling.
"Fucking asshole..." Takeo mumbled as he was killing zombies.
Dempsey stopped killing and walked over to Takeo and got right in his face. "What was that?"
"You are the one with no honah! You killed the doctah once and me twice!"
"Heesh right Dempshee." Said Richtofen. "We could have left your ass on Earth when we were all waiting for you to get on the teleporter."
"I wish you did! Then at least I wouldn't be on this godforsaken rock with three docuhetarded numbskulls killing zombies!" Replied Dempsey. "How the fuck did zombies get on the frickin' moon anyhow?"
"Maybe scientists got drunk up here." Suggested Nikolai.
"I swear Nikolai." Said Dempsey.
"Hey if they did get drunk maybe it was off of vodka!"
"I can't take this anymore." Said Dempsey. "I just can't take anymore of this crap!" He had a very loud crackly yell, "SHUUT UUUUUUUP!" Then continued killed zombies.
A little while later after a few more rounds they found a room that had regular gravity force and could breathe oxygen. "Well some things are finally looking up!" Said Dempsey taking off his helmet.
"Ooo! Look at ziss!" Said the doctor and pointed to a mystery box.
"You're kidding me right?" Said Dempsey in disbelief. "You mean these useless crates are up here too?"
Richtofen tried it out and got the ray gun on his first try. "Ah yes! Now they will all die!" Takeo tried it and also got a ray gun!
"What the?" Dempsey was curious. "Perhaps this box just gives out good shit!" He tried his luck and got a crappy crossbow. "What? I- Fuck this damn box!" He tried again and got a single pistol. He remained quiet and shook his head. Nikolai came over and tried his luck. He got a ray gun. "Okay this thing is fucking with me." Said Dempsey with a hand on his chin. He tried it again and got a ballistic knife. "Yeah it's fucking with me." Nikolai tried it again and got the Zeus Canon. Now he had a ray gun and the zeus canon. "FuuUUUCK!" Yelled Dempsey. They all shared a laugh at the expense of Dempsey. "SHUT UP!" He tried again and got a M72LAW rocket launcher. They were all laughing even harder now. Dempsey took the rocket launcher and pointed it to the group. "I said shut. up!" In a higher pitched emphases on the word 'up'. They all stopped laughing. Dempsey shook his head and tried the box one more time. This time the bear popped up and laughed in his face then disappeared. "God riddens!" Said Dempsey and flicked his wrist towards it. "Piece of fucking good for nothing shit."
Another astronaut came through the door and grabbed Nikolai. "AHH HELP ME!" Then he disappeared with a bang. Dempsey laughed hard now.
"Ohhh! What now?" He said. "I really like him. He's awesome. This totally makes up for the box." Said Dempsey. Richtofen and Takeo killed it with their ray guns which resulted in it exploding. One straggling zombie was killed and round 9 began. Nikolai managed to catch up with them again and they all entered this office looking area. Crawling demon zombies were spawning everywhere which freaked out Takeo.
"Demons! They are everywhere!" He then started shooting wildly around hoping to kill them all. He shot Dempsey by accident. They were all teleporting near him but they managed to run outside into a biodome. When they were all running Dempsey tripped Takeo on purpose which caused the demon crawlers to kill him. Dempsey laughed, picked up Takeo's ray gun and killed them all. Takeo came back to life at the end of that round and shoved Dempsey onto a yellow pad looking thing. That launched Dempsey high in the air and made him crash to the ground causing him to die. Takeo snatched back his ray gun from Dempsey's dead hands.
About 20 minutes later the gang came across a neat board of buttons. "I vunder what they do?" Asked Richtofen.
"Perhaps they dispense vodka?" Asked Nikolai. Dempsey just repressed his anger by doing a whisper yell.
"Perhaps they kill all demons?" Asked Takeo.
"Perhaps they make you guys shut your damn mouths!" Yelled Dempsey. "Don't press them. Nothing good will come from it knowing our luck." But Richtofen pressed them anyways when Dempsey wasn't looking. After a little while They all noticed a few rockets heading towards earth from the moon. Their eyes widened and noticed the Earth getting blown up. Dempsey walked over the doctor, ripped off his helmet and started strangling him until he died. Takeo tried running away but Dempsey picked up a rock and tossed it at him, which cracked his helmet and made him suffocate. Nikolai put his hands together and was slowly backing away asking for forgiveness to Dempey. Dempsey took Nikolai's hands and twisted them until the broke. Then he lifted him up and tossed him over the cliff. Dempsey picked up Takeo's Ray gun. "Oorah." He said and killed himself with it.
THE END