CHAPTER ONE-
I quietly held the seraph blade in my hand as I watched her approach me.
"Clarissa Morgenstern," her voice was as soft as velvet as she strolled around me. "You are thought of to be a hero in everybody's eyes...but are you really? What did you really do except guide the Downworlders and Nephilim to unite as they were so obviously going to. You just quickened the process, that's all." she whispered. There was a compelling air about her and her words made sense. "Did you ever think that you were useless? A liability? Something that would just get in the way?"
On many occassions, I wanted to tell her, but something held me back.
"Clarissa Morgenstern, you have the blood of the Angel running through your viens and I see in your eyes that you want to do something so badly, but you know that you cannot. Are you willing to change this?"
Somehow, I found my voice. "Yes," I scarcely whispered.
A ghost of a smile passed over her lips as she tilted her head to the side, her black hair billowing in the wind. "We will begin shortly, Clarissa Morgenstern. You have made the right choice."
I nodded slowly, my own hair blowing gently in the wind. "Thank you..."
"Call me Arianna," she said softly and it was as if her words whispered across my skin, my face. I looked at her, then, shocking me, she vanished in black smoke, disolving into the air. Her presence lingered, but was washed away when a gust of wind blew harshly. I shivered and drew my coat more tightly around me. I knew she was gone so I did not waste time looking for her, I seathed my blade back into my belt and slowly walked out of the park.
***
"Clary!" Isabelle yelled as she threw herself at me. I'd just come out of the elevator in the Insitute, returning from my journey to the park. "Where have you been?" she fairly screeched at me.
"I went for a walk," I answered calmly. It was as if the girl, Arianna, our conversation had soothed me somehow. My anxiety had shallowed and I felt refreshened as if I'd found the answer to all my problems. And maybe I had.
"Don't play coy with me, Clary!" Isabelle waved the wooden spoon at me. I took in her apperance as I stepped out of the elevator; she was wearing an aprin over her tight jeans and stylish but casual sweater, her footwear consisted of classy black heels. She looked gorgeous, as always, her night black hair was easily down, splayed across her shoulders and her sharp blue eyes were accusing but also affectionate at the same time.
"Earth to Clary," Isabelle was waving the spoon in front of my face.
"Hmm? What?" I said brilliantly.
"I said that we'd been waiting for you for about an hour!"
"But you wouldn't be exagerating at all, would you, Isabelle?" I said knowingly as we walked to the kitchen.
She frowned disaprovingly. "Well, maybe a little, but we were waiting,"
"Not for that long," another voice said and I momentarily glanced up from where I'd studiously been examining the ground to see Magnus Bane leaning casually against the wall with his arms crossed. His outfit was seemingly calm, for Magnus, that is. He was wearing casually tight jeans, a muslce shirt that had the design of something that looked a lot like wings on it and on top of that, he was wearing a long trench coat that was split at the back up to the middle of his thigh. "But, if I do say so myself, I think you are fashionably late, Clary," he smiled at me and it was hard not smile back.
"It's good to you, Magnus," I said. "But why are you here?" I asked with confusion.
"Oh, my dear Clary," he clucked sympathetically. "Where have you been, darling?"
I raised my eyebrows and turned to look at Isabell inquiringly, she caught my look and began to explain impatiently. "You know, we were inviting everyone over for a dinner? It was your idea, Clary,"
"Oh, that!" I said, pretending to know what she was talking about. "That was tonight?"
Isabelle nodded and looked at me as if she were afraid for my mental health. "Clary, are you alright?" she asked worriedly.
"I'm perfectly fine," I said easily as I ignored the look I was getting from Magnus as he pushed off the wall. We walked into the kitchen and recieved a slight start to see Jace and Alec already there. Jace smiled at me and jumped up from his seat, I returned the gesture tightly. I backed away suddenly, as he approached with open arms. The hurt expression worn so plainly on his face made me want to explain.
"I'm going to change, I'm pretty sure I smell bad," I fibbed quickly and felt better when the hurt turned to an amused confusion.
"Why would you smell bad? Besides, I don't mind," he grinned.
"That's because you don't believe in showers, Jace," Isabelle quipped from behind the counter.
"I do so!" Jace protested.
"Not since we came back from Idris," she retorted.
"Anyway, I'll be right back, I promise," I vanished from the room before anyone could utter another word. In my room, I discarded my other clothes and put on a different pair of jeans and an emerald green sweater, it was the same colour as the Shadowhunter travelling coat Luke had gotten me. I slipped my seraph blade into the back of a jacket and on my way back down stairs I put it by the door on a hook. I quickly returned to the kitchen in less than five minutes. I was about to enter when I caught the subject of their conversation.
"She was acting a bit weird," Alec remarked.
"Yeah, she was kind of distant...she didn't even remember the dinner was tonight," Isabelle added.
"I'm not so sure she remembered the dinner at all," Magnus put in. I bit my lip as I withdrew my hand from the knob and got comfortable against the wall to listen.
"Well," Jace said. "Give her a break, she told me this morning that she had lots of things to do. She's probably just tired,"
Yes, I thought dryly. Believe Jace, believe that I'm tired. I contemplated for a second, well, it's not a lie. I WAS tired.
"There is something you should know," Magnus's voice was weary and confused as he spoke. My suspicion sharpened and I pushed off the wall, my eyes narrowing. "She reeked of demon," he said in a soft voice.
I froze. Arianna wasn't a demon, I would have known. I'd been acting as a Shadowhunter long enough to know that.
"What?" Jace's voice sounded higher with shock. Apparently Isabelle and Alec had nothing to say. "She can't have smelt like a demon!" he protested, coming to my defense. "A lot of demons, almost all of them have gone into hiding after what's happened. Clary can't have just happened across one who wasn't."
"Well, she has or..." Magnus's voice trailed off.
"Or what?" Isabelle demanded.
"Or...maybe she's come across a warlock who's practicing dark magic," Magnus finished and there was silence. I'd begun to turn the knob when there was a loud sound as if something had it a hard surface with force.
"Leave it to Clary," Isabelle's voice was hard. "She's always getting into trouble -"
Isabelle suddenly stopped talking when I'd easily strolled into the kitchen, a mildly surprised look on my face. "Always in trouble, am I?" I said, acting dryly amused.
Everyone stopped and stared in shock; Alec with wide eyes as if he could hardly comprehend what was going on; Jace, his mouth slightly open, brow creased; Isabelle, mouth and eyes wide, her hand over the wooden spoon on the counter where she'd obviously slammed it down. The three of them stared at me with incredible shock and I pretended not to care.
My eyes shifted to Magnus, he didn't look shocked at all, just merely curious and concerned, but his eyes were also calculating. "What's wrong with them?" I had my back to the others and was pointing over my shoulder at them. "And what did I do to make Isabelle so mad?"
Magnus pushed away from the wall and shrugged, his eyes were almost piercing but his body language and words were casual. "Honestly, I don't really know what's wrong with Isabelle, but we were discussing you, if you happened to be wondering."
I pushed my together as if I were confused, but I also smiled. "What about me? And, Magnus, take off your coat, you're staying for dinner, aren't you?" I sounded like Maryse. Ugh.
He gave me an easy smile and shrugged out of his trench coat, drapping it across the back of a chair. "Aren't you playing hostess well," he grinned at me and it was so hard not smile back.
Isabelle, Alec and Jace unfroze.
"Clarissa Morgenstern!" Isabelle shouted and I winced at the mention of my father's name. My hand unintentionally strayed to the necklace that held the Morgenstern ring.
"What have you done now?" she demanded. "What dealings with demons have you not told us of? What dark magic sought you out?"
I blinked in shock. "I have had no contact with demons nor any dark magic!"
"Lair," she hissed.
"Isabelle!" Jace exclaimed but we both ignored him.
"Why would I lie of demons and dark magic after what's happened, Isabelle? Why would I do that?" rage was filling me and I glared at the girl.
"Magnus smelt it on you,"
I threw my hands up angirly. "So Magnus smelt demon on me! Did you ever think that I may have crossed paths with one without noticing?" I yelled at her, I imagined my eyes blazing.
"After everything, Clary, how could you not know a demon?" Isabelle challenged. "Are you really so stupid?"
I recoiled as if she had slapped me. After a silent minute, I inclined my head to her. "Appearently..." I said in a deathly cold voice. "I am." Even Magnus looked shocked.
"I think I'll pass on dinner tonight, I beg your leave," I bowed my head and left the room, snapping my cell phone out as I did so.
"Hello?" the voice answered on the first ring.
"Hey, it's Clary, can you meet me at the Institute?" I asked tightly as I snatched my jacket down and made my way to the elevator.
"Yeah, I'll be right there,"
"Thanks," I hung up and slammed the chain elevator door shut behind me, casting my gaze towards the ground. "Why don't they trust me?" I whispered.
*****
I opened the door to the Institute and saw Simon standing there. When he saw my face, he held his arms open and I dashed down the steps into him. Simon's arms wrapped around me protectively.
"Hey," he said in a soft voice. "Hey, it's okay, what's wrong? What happened?" he asked as he stroked my hair away from my face.
I shook my head furiously, my hair flinging around. Suddenly, I saw Arianna behind Simon, her dark eyes borring into mine. I shook my head again, shifting my eyes to Simon, this time, I was defiant. "It doesn't matter," my voice was resolved and I saw a smile spread across Arianna's face before she disappeared in her black mist agian. It kind of reminded me of how the Harry Potter Death Eaters changed in the movies. Weird, I thought but brushed it off as nothing.
"What were you doing before I called?" I asked changing the subject, seeing the questions in hsi eyes.
"With the guys at band practice," Simon answered.
I nodded. "Let's go, I'm in need of some human company," Catching the look he was giving me. "Some vampire company would be good too,"
He chuckled quietly and drapped his arm around my shoulders he sighed, "Clary,"
****
After talking with the guys in Simon's band, I found myself at the Pandemoneum Club with Simon and his band. We lingered in a group by the bar and the guys were talking about their band. I was scanning the crowd and at the oppisite side of the club, I saw a demon.
He was very similar to the very first demon I'd ever seen and that was also at this club. I tensed, glad that I'd kept my seraph blade in my coat when I'd changed. I quickly texted Simon, telling him I'd be back soon as walked towards the demon.
His hair was spiky green with black streaks, his eyes were a hungry, piercing colour that was unearthly. They were like cat eyes and matched the green in his hair almost exactly. He was wearing jeans and a high collared coat that was half zipped up over his bear chest. I smiled inwardly as I weaved across the dance floor to him.
The demon's eyes locked with mine and he grinned, flashing perfectly alined white teeth. I was going to try the same tacktic I'd seen Isabelle use. When I got to the demon, I smiled and put my hand lightly on his chest.
"Hey there," he said in a seductive voice.
I leaned in and put my lips in his ear and purred, "Do you want to come with me?"
"Sure thing," he put a hand on my hip and I took it and started to lead him to one of the back rooms, ignoring the envious glares from some of the other girls in the club. Simon caught my eye and took a step forward, a worried and confused look on his face. I gave a small shake of my head and winked reassuringly.
I hear the demon close the door behind us and I turned to face him. I smiled coldly as he pulled me to him and presses his foul lips to mine. I didn't pull away as I reached into the back of my jacket, pulling my blade.
"Cassiel," I whispered against his lips, naming the blade that Jace had given me while we were fighting in Idris. Suddenly, the demon shoved me away and glared.
"Shadowhunter," he hissed at me and I grinned.
"Yeah," I replied, launching myself at him. The demon obviously thought he could take me, but the force of my body surprised him. We crashed to the ground, me landing on top of himl I quicky whipped up my blade and pressed it to his neck. The demon forze and stared at me with burning eyes.
"Well, get on with it," the demon snarled.
"Enjoy this," recklessly, I pressed my lips to his own and when I pulled away, he grinned at me.
"I did," the demon smiled and relaxed under me.
"Good," I replied. "I'm sorry,"
"It's nice to watch something beautiful as you die," the demon whispered in a thoughtful tone.
"Goodbye," I slit teh blade cleanly into his neck, ending it quickly, there was no need to play with him. His body disapeared from under me, into ashes, my seraph blade, limp in my hand, my red hair falling around my face and my left hand fisted.
I hadn't heard the door open but I subtly noticed a presence. I slolwy lifted my face and stared at the boy who was watching me. Simon.
"How long have you been there?" I asked in a soft voice.
"Since you said 'I'm sorry'," he returned.
I bowed my head and pushed away from the ground. I brisquely brushed the ashes away, avoiding looking at my friend. He hadn't seen me kiss the demon, but what he had witnessed was enough.
"I think I should go," I murmured, still not looking at Simon.
"I'll go with you, this is no fun anyway," he shrugged away from the door, holding it open for me. I silently walked through, Simon followed. We went over to the other guys and I tried to smile.
"I think we're going to go," I said.
"Aw, Clary!" Eric whined. "So soon?"
'Yeah, I'll see you later," the other two guys nodded at us as we left. When we were outside, I flipped open my cell phone, dialling Luke's home number.
My mom picked up. "Hello?"
"Hey, Mom," I said tighly. "I'm really tired, I'm going to stay at the Institute tonight, is that okay?"
"Sure," she said after a short hesitation, her voice was excited. "But can you come home early tomorrow? Luke and I need to talk to you,"
"Yeah, I'll see you then, bye,"
"Bye, honey," I hung up and wondered what she wanted to talk to me about. But those were only remote cares, my biggest problem was getting into the Institute without anyone noticing.
"Clary?" Simon was holding the cab door open for me; I nodded and slipped into the car. We road quietly, me looking out the window and Simon shooting me worried glances from the corner of his eye. I studiously ignored those looks and stared down at my hands, there were light scars where Isabelle had drawn Shadowhunter marks once, on the inside of my wrist was also scared with teh rune that I'd used to show the Nephilim of Idris my power.
I clenched my hands into fists and glanced up to see the Institute looming above the sidewalk. The driver looked doubtful, I could imagine the ruin he was seeing the first time I was brought here.
I tossed money over the seat and climbed out and waited for Simon. His movements were swift and sure as he gracefully came to stand beside me. we walked up to the doors of the Institute and I turned to my friend.
"Thanks for putting up with me tonight," I smiled apologeticly at him.
"Don't I always?" Simon asked softly.
"Yeah," I replied, I leaned in and kissed his cheek at the same time he kissed mine. Simon backed up and watched as I turned to the doors. I am Clary Morgenstern - my thoughts stopped as the door swung open. "Thanks again, Simon," I smiled before closing the door behind me. I silently walked through the cathedral part towards the elevator. Once the elevator delivered me to the proper floor I got out as I gently twirled the seraph blade in my hand.
I nodded to Church and had no encounters with the Lightwoods. I didn't go to my room at first, I went up to the garden when I'd shared my first kiss with Jace. I felt guilty for what I'd done with the demon earlier but I shrugged it off. It hadn't meant anything at all, it was just something I'd done. Plus, he was only a single demon.
I climbed the wrungs of teh ladder, my blade in my mouth. In the green house, I walked to the back, where I knew the Midnight Flower lay. As I approached, the peddles started to bloom. I stared at it sadly and watched as they began to wither and fall off.
"Clarissa Morgenstern," a cold familair voice said. I whirled to see who the intruder was. Arianna. Impulsively, I bowed to her, feeling it was the righ thing to do.
"Arianna," I acknowledged.
"You are already growing stronger," she said. "You killed one demon so easily tonight, you will soon destroy more." Arianna's cold smile seemed proud and amused. "I quite liked your tacktic, it was very amusing,"
I shrugged. "It wasn't much,"
"It was very brave of you to put the hurt your friends treated you with behind," I nodded slowly, unsure of what to say. "I gave you that courage, that resolve," Arianna said earnestly and I knew she was not lying. "You will be very impressive, nearly invincible, all powerful."
"B-but I don't want to be all powerful!" I protested in shock. "I just want to be a Shadowhunter, as good as Alec and Isabelle, I know I won't be as good as Jace, but that's all I wanted, just a Shadowhunter. I don't want to cause them anymore trouble. I just want to do something, you make it sound like I'm going to take over the world. I don't need power and I don't want it.
Arianna nodded as if she were pleased. "You are very strong-willed, you passed my test, Clarissa Morgenstern."
I sighed. "Let's not test me like that and you can call me Clary, or, you know, just don't use my last name."
She looked amused at that. "I must leave you now, we'll meet again very soon, Clarissa." Then she was completely engulffed in smoke, the black slowly turned to nothign and it vanished. It was as if she were never there.
I stared for a moment before bowing my head and slowly retreating from the back of the garden. Instead of using the ladder, I jumped into the hole, landing lightly on the balls of my feet. I began to twirl my blade again and make my way to my room when the voices stopped me.
"Clary."
I stopped spinning my blade abruptly and turned to see Alec, Isabelle and Jace at the bottom of the ladder.
I cursed, "Shit,"