A/N: Reposted for Dule Hill's birthday (May 3rd). Happy birthday, Dule! You are best friend to and are alegend!
Disclaimer: I do not own Psych!
"Well, this is nice." Shawn leaned back in his chair, grinning at himself in the mirror across the room. "And might I say, my hair still looks great."
Gus shifted uncomfortably. "I don't think this is nice at all, Shawn. In fact, I think this is the worst birthday I've ever had."
"Really, Gus? You mean today trumps your eighth-grade birthday party? Personally, I'd have to think this birthday takes distant second."
"Shut up, Shawn, I'm not talking to you. This is all your fault."
Shawn raised an eyebrow. "Alright, two things. One, you just contradicted your own statement. And two, no."
"No, what?"
"Uhm, Gus. You're talking to me again."
"What were you saying 'no' about?!"
"I was saying, 'no, it's not my fault'."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT?! THIS IS TOTALLY YOUR FAULT! ONE HUNDRED PERCENT YOUR FAULT!"
"Alright, maybe it is my fault. But not one hundred percent. You have to give Lassie and Jules some credit. I'd say we all deserve equal credit, actually... No, wait. Lassie deserves a little more credit."
"I hate you."
"You don't mean that."
"I don't know when I've meant it more. You know we could die here, Shawn? This was not how I planned to spend my 30th."
"You know what, Gus, you are being incredibly selfish."
"Excuse me?"
"You're excused. But what I was saying is, do you think that I meant for us to be kidnapped, hmm? That I meant for this day to turn out crummy? No, Gus, no I didn't. And yet, you blame me...and even go so far as to say you hate me. I am very disappointed in you, Gus. Very disappointed."
Gus decided that such a lecture was unworthy of a response, and so he said nothing.
"You're humbled, I know, by my convicting words," Shawn continued after a pause, "and I appreciate your silence. I forgive you."
"Shut up, Shawn."
Two hours earlier...
Gus parked in front of the looming warehouse and stared up at it for a couple moments before turning to Shawn. "Are you sure we're in the right place?"
"Yeah, Gus, I'm psychic. I know everything."
"Quit fooling around, Shawn! Do you even know what today is?"
"Of course, buddy, it's your bday, big three-o! How could I forget?"
"You forgot my birthday last year, Shawn."
"You had a birthday last year?"
Gus glared. "Does this have to take all day? Let's get in that warehouse, look around, and get out of here quick. I do not want to spend my birthday on a case, okay?"
"Fine." Shawn shoved open the passenger side door. "I'm only doing this as a favor to Lassie and Jules. You know Lassiter hardly ever asks for my help on a case, and this time, he did, and I don't want to let him down."
"Did he really ask you, Shawn?"
"I read between the lines."
"Shawn...!"
"What? We'll be quick. In and out. No problems, no delays. I promise."
Present time...
"'We'll be quick. In and out. No problems, no delays. I promise.'"
"Wow." Shawn craned his neck to try and see Gus behind him. "That was an incredibly poor and insulting imitation of me. I should be offended."
"You should be..."
"But I'm not, because it's your birthday."
Gus was too angry for words.
"Remember when you were eighteen, how you said you hoped your thirtieth would go down?" Shawn asked with surprising innocence.
"No, I don't, Shawn, and frankly, I don't care, because, obviously, it isn't turning out that way, is it?"
"Isn't it?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I distinctly remember you saying that you thought it would be awesome if you were kidnapped by ninjas."
"Why on earth would I say that?!"
"I don't know. Maybe you were hyped on cake or something. But anyway, you hoped that you were kidnapped by ninjas and tied up in an old warehouse."
"I don't think..."
"Uhm, excuse me. I was still talking. Where was I? Oh, yeah, kidnapped by ninjas, tied up in warehouse, yes, and rescued by a beautiful blonde."
"I kind of remember that now," Gus said slowly. He paused, "but I don't remember the blonde."
"Yeah, well, I couldn't find intergalactic aliens short notice. But I did convince Lassie, which is pretty darned close to an alien."
"Shawn, what's going on?"
Suddenly, the large empty room sprung to life with twenty some people. "Happy birthday!"
Gus barely stifled a scream.
"Woo!" Shawn hooted, "That was good!" He shook his bonds loose, stood up and stretched.
Juliet trotted up to Gus, "I guess I'm the beautiful blonde that rescues you." She reached behind him and undid the knot. "Happy birthday, Gus." She leaned down and kissed his cheek.
Gus stood up, still speechless.
"What do you think, buddy?" Shawn asked, slightly worried, "A birthday wish come true, huh? I've been planning this day for twelve years."
Gus's mouth formed voiceless words.
Shawn cringed. "Hey, dude, look. I'm sorry if I went a little overboard. I just thought it'd be fun...ny. Okay, funny. More so to us than you, but hey. It was your wish, right?"
Around them, tables were being swiftly put up and decorations thrown around. It looked as if this party had been in rehearsal for weeks. Gus just stared, dumbfounded.
"I can't believe you talked me into this, Spencer," Lassiter complained, approaching with his usual stride. "Guster probably hates it."
Gus choked. "No. No, I love it." He turned to Shawn. "This is the nicest thing you've ever done for me."
"Really?" Lassiter squeaked.
Shawn grinned broadly and held out his arms. "Happy birthday, Gus."
Gus embraced his best friend warmly. "Thanks, Shawn."
This was truly the best birthday ever.
END