"Kelly Kay and the Seven Hobos"
Narrator: Once upon a time in a city not-so far away, lived a prissy uptown girl who was totally obsessed with herself. Her name was Kelly Kay. One day while shopping…
Kelly: OMG I love these shoes! OMG I love this top! OMG this is soooo awesome! It's 1,000,000 dollars? No prob. Charge it! Daddy won't mind!
Narrator: Now you have to understand before we continue this story that Kelly has never put down her beloved credit card until it was safe in her wallet locked up in her vault, until now…
Kelly: O…M…G…
(Jake rides by on his motorcycle)
It's Jake Jock! He's so hot I think I'm sweating! I must fallow him! Jake honey, wait for me! (drops stuff and runs off)
Salty: Work harder slaves! I'm not paying you to slack!
Hobos: You're not paying us at all!
(Kelly runs in)
Kelly: Have you seen this super cute guy riding a motorcycle? OMG giant hobo, what are you doing to these poor little hobos?
Salty: Um, well nothing, just hanging out with my little siblings.
Hobos: What are you talking about? You stole us from Hobo Land and now you are making us do hard labor!
Salty: Don't listen to them, they have some mental issues!
Kelly: How rude of you, (whacks Salty in head) torturing these well not so cute little hobos.
Hobos: Thank you… Hey!
(Salty runs off)
Kelly: Now, let's get back to business! Have any of you seen- (Kelly is cut off)
Hobos: Please, please come inside, have a snack, and tell us how you scared Salty the Cracker!
Narrator: As expected, Kelly Kay is a little, well a lot grossed out by this so called, "luxurious trash house". Just when she is about to "politely" excuse herself from this uncomfortable situation, there was a knock on the door. Right away, Gruesome, the kindest and most thoughtful hobo jumped up to answer the door.
Gruesome: Coming! (Opens trash door) Sorry for the long wait.
Salty disguised as old lady: Oh it's okay dear, but my legs aren't as strong as they used to be. Is there a youngin willin to walk me home? It would be a very kind gesture… Well, since none of you volunteered, how 'bout you pretty girl over there?
Kelly: Well… uh… mmm…
Disguised Salty: I'll take that as a yes, and for a trinket of my gratitude, here is a nice shiny vegetable called a tomata.
Kelly: Well, actually a tomato is a fruit, duh. If you are going to drag me into this at least get your facts right. OMG is that so hard?!?!
Disguised Salty: Just eat the stinkin fruit!
Kelly: Okay then, you don't have to get aggressive!
(Takes bite of tomato, and then faints.)
Disguised Salty: (takes off disguise)
Ha, ha, ha! I got rid of that piece of prissy junk! Now I can finally have my house!
Hobos: Here lies the beloved Kelly Kay.
Wolf: (knocks on door)
Hello, are the three little pigs there?
Salty: No.
Wolf: What about Little Red Riding Hood?
Salty: NO!
Wolf: Not even granny!
Salty: Who are they, and NOOO they're not here! So get off my property!
Wolf: Golly, no need to be rude. I'm definitely lost, because I always thought that I was the biggest meanie in town. (Goes back to hobos)
Hobos: (sniffles, weeps, wipes some tears)
She was so young… so innocent… oh we are so depressed!
Another Hobo: Hey, isn't that Jake Jock, the guy Kelly Kay was talking about?
Yet another Hobo: Hey yeah! I think it is!
(Jake rides by on motorcycle)
Jake: slurp, slurp… ahh, all done! (Tosses drink in trash where Kelly was put to rest.)
Hobos: Hey, that wasn't very nice. Somebody happens to be buried in there.
Jake: Oh, sorry little hobos. I did not realize.
Hobos: We prefer vertically challenged.
(Jake is about to ride off when Kelly rises from the trash rubbing her head.)
Kelly: Owww, this piece of trash hit me. OMG, people seriously need to be more careful! Oh, Jake! (Nervously fixes hair.) What a surprise! Well, not that that's a bad thing, I mean, I'm not mad or anything.
Jake: Hey, your Kelly May, right?
Kelly: (whispers to self) OMG, he almost knows my name! (Turns around and faces Jake pretending to act cool) Yeah, that's me. (Gazes into his eyes)
Jake: Well, you're pretty cute. You want to go out some time?
Kelly: Absolutely! I mean, that would be cool.
Narrator: Happily ever after! Jake Jock and Kelly Kay fell in love and later got married! The little hobos moved to Hollywood and starred in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, as the ompalumpas and have learned to accept that they definitely vertically challenged. You can still see find Salty the Cracker in his trash house begging for money, and the wolf, well lets just hope he got home safely! Oh, and of course, I almost forgot the most important character… me! The cutest little worm you have ever seen! I'm holding a reunion party to celebrate everyone's happily ever after! Except Salty of course!
Salty: Hey! That's not true-!
Wolf: Hey everyone, let's party!
Everyone pops up on stage and starts dancing!
The End
This was a play my friends and I did in drama class with puppets. I hoped you liked it! I don't know why I put it on here, but I thought it might be funny. So, whatever!
"Kelly Kay and the Seven Hobos" = modernized "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs". Ha, ha, ha, funny right?