The Dr Gallo Revisitation
3 days after Valentines day, In apartment 4A 2311 North Los Robles.
"So tell me Penny, how did your Valentines evening go?" Bernadette asked her between sips from her mineral water
"It was a disaster, In spite of us booking a table they expected us to wait an hour then the Maitre' d called me Ma'am and all Leonard could say to the guy was 'Sorry to bother you'. Honestly he's such a wuss at times and then we ended up eating a burger and chips (French fries) in the car, would you believe", Penny informed her throwing her arms up in disgust, and casting a hard look in Leonard's direction.
"Oh! I'm so sorry your evening was a bust", Bernadette commiserated with Penny, but could not fail to notice the hurt in Leonard's eyes as he was belittled by his wife.
"Yes and then to make things worse, you came in and ruined fun with flags. And if you don't mind tonight is Halo night, so I must ask you girls to leave", Sheldon interrupted.
So with a 'come on girls let's leave the kiddies with their games and we'll have girl talk in my apartment", from Penny. They retreated to 4B.
"Are things OK?, with you and Leonard I mean?", Bernadette asked Penny once they were settled.
"Yes why?", Penny asked her.
"He looked quite upset with what you said back there", Bernadette explained nervously as she idly rotated her bottle of mineral water on her lap.
"Oh he's fine. He'll get over it", Penny said dismissively.
"Yes I thought you were a bit hard on him in there, in fact you do seem to put him down a lot, I've noticed lately?", Amy joined in.
"I do not", Penny angrily replied, and giving her two friends a hard stare as if daring them to comment further.
Then Amy and Bernadette wisely steered the conversation on to other subjects.
Penny's anger though was not due to Bernadette and Amy pointing out something that Penny herself had also come to be aware of. It was true, She was putting Leonard down a lot but what really made Penny angry was that she had no idea why?.
The next day, Penny found it hard to concentrate as her conscience over hurting Leonard was pricking her in a really bad way. All day she had been thinking hard on the reason why she would keep hurting Leonard, In fact she had been thinking so hard that she found herself trying to promote her company's newest laxative as a headache cure. Finally Penny finished for the day and headed for the surgery car park for her car and after putting her company's samples in the trunk she sat in her car and tried to think again about a solution to her problem with herself towards Leonard. The moment during Will Wheaton's podcast of Leonard Nimoy's son's interview with Sheldon, when Sheldon was relating about him being bullied by his brother and Penny could recall her telling Leonard that "when He (Sheldon), says things like that it makes me want to hug him and make it better".
She remembered Leonard's reply telling her that his brother bullied him too, Penny cringed as her words ran through her memory, "well you probably had it coming". The Image of the hurt on Leonard's face in her memory cut her like a knife and Penny burst into tears, and in her anguish, frustration and disgust with herself she began banging her head on the steering wheel, which activated the horn and Penny her eyes still full of tears, quickly drove out of the surgery before the staff could investigate. and then she pulled over into a nearby side street and parked up, still crying she thought about where she could get help and then getting a solution, She frantically reached for her cellphone.
The next day Penny heard her name being called by the receptionist, "You may go in now Mrs Hofstadter.", she informed Penny. And Penny found herself once more entering Dr Gallo's office.
"Well I hope this isn't an elaborate scheme on your part to try and sell me something again?", Dr Gallo asked her sternly, "because if you are then I suggest you had better leave right now", She continued.
Penny nervously held out her hands to show they were empty, "No, No samples here", She told Dr Gallo nervously.
"well that's alright then. Please do sit down.", said Dr Gallo instantly relaxing and indicating a small sofa.
Penny seated herself and then nervously stared at the floor while holding a tissue tightly in her right hand while the other firmly gripped the sofa cushion beside her.
"So then what can I do for you?", Dr Gallo smilingly asked her,
Penny looked over at the window where just then a bird briefly flew in and out of her view.
"I, I keep hurting Leonard", Penny barely whispering began, then she went on to explain to Dr Gallo her problem..
Dr Gallo took a brief look at her notes, "Ah, That would be your husband, Dr Hofstadter."
"So is he abusing you?", Dr Gallo asked her seriously.
Penny startled at her question, answered in the negative, "No, Not Leonard No, not at all he's a real sweetie."
"Good, I'm glad to hear it", Dr Gallo replied, "So do you think then that perhaps you are no longer in love with him then"?, She continued.
Penny looked at her aghast, "Of course I love him", she replied.
"Are you sure, because when you were here before and I asked you to tell me why you married Leonard You replied, 'I don't wanna', Why was that?". Dr Gallo asked her as she leaned on her desk and fixed Penny with her keen gaze.
"I, I don't know", Penny replied looking sheepish.
"Then I'm afraid you can't be in love with him, can you", Dr Gallo told her firmly, "or you would be telling me so much about him, that I would have to beg you to stop talking, wouldn't I" She asked.
Penny's anger suddenly blazed and she sprang to her feet.
"Were you there in my bedroom while I was crying my heart out every night because I thought I had lost him to a far more beautiful and smarter woman than me?, did you see my heart breaking because I had never ever Loved anyone as deeply as I loved Leonard? Did you feel my pain when I saw them together and knowing that I had to hide my feelings from him, when all I wanted was to hold him in my arms again?. My God, I got so desperate to see him one night that I went to his apartment only to learn that he was living in Rajesh's apartment with her, then I stupidly got so drunk that I just made such an Idiot of myself that it made things even worse. My pain was so great, I hurt, My God did I ever hurt so bad, all because of Leonard. Really I'm such a mess, you know I told him that I'm scared that he'll one day wake up and leave me for someone much more smarter than me but I lied", Penny admitted.
Dr Gallo frowned, "what do you mean you lied to him?, how?".
"I'm not just scared, I'm terrified, I'm such a stupid, stupid mess, here I am terrified he'll leave me while at the same time hurting him so much that he will be bound to leave me, I'm just driving him away", Penny revealed, then she collapsed onto the sofa crying bitterly in her anguish.
Dr Gallo pressed her intercom button and spoke to her receptionist, "Sarah, could you bring two coffees in please", and while she waited for the coffees, she watched a very distressed Penny still sobbing on her sofa, and carefully considered her next move.
"I know you love him", Dr Gallo gently told her as she sipped her coffee after Penny had recovered her composure, "You see we record all our calls, and I'm sure you don't want to listen to it again. But I heard a woman who was so in anguish over her treatment of her husband that she was hysterically begging me for help, and your current distress now at this moment clearly tells me that. But it was so important my Dear, that I ask you these questions so I can discern your problem".
"Tell me", Dr Gallo continued, "you say you split up before he was seeing this, er,", "Priya", Penny volunteered, "Thank you, yes this Priya. Who ended the first relationship between you and Dr Hofstadter may I ask?"
"I did", I thought it was for the best only I was being deceived by someone else's lies", Penny admitted "I so wish I could turn the clock back and undo it all", Penny sadly added.
"Tell me Penny, how do you view marriage in general", Dr Gallo asked her.
Penny thought for a second or two, "well, I feel that it should be forever, and that the love between two people should last forever. you know sharing life's ups and downs together and when one is down then the other can build them up again", Penny paused thought for a bit then added, "it should be something special you see".
"Penny, you see when Dr Hofstadter was sitting there in that same spot. I asked him that same question on marriage, and his answer was exactly the same as yours, and when I asked him to tell me about you, his face just lit up and his eyes sparkled as he talked, And truly Penny, he described you perfectly from, in his words, your beautiful green eyes right down to the smallest detail.
When People do that then they are very much in love with that person otherwise those details would not be remembered so well if they didn't love their partner
"Okay Penny Now for my diagnosis, It seems to me in my professional opinion, that you subconsciously blame Leonard for the acute heartache you suffered over his relationship with this Priya , and your way of showing him your pain is to treat him badly, you must let the past be the past Penny, after all it's you yourself are now his beloved wife, so I beg you for your marriage to be happy have faith in that so strong love between you and Leonard. Then your marriage will be special and lasting forever just as you and Leonard wish it to be, . Also you need to work on letting that hurt go. Stop punishing Leonard for what is after all your mistake. Okay Penny I'll prescribe you some mild tranquilizers to help you not to get so stressed and I would like to see you both next week to see how you are doing".
"Both of us?, But Leonard will think I'm stupid and useless, if I tell him I saw you. Can't I just see you next week on my own instead?", Penny begged
"Penny, are you sure of that?, is that really what Leonard would think of you?, think about it?". Dr Gallo asked her.
Penny thought of Leonard, and Penny realized she was so wrong. After all Leonard was the most sweetest caring guy that she had ever come across. She looked up at Dr Gallo "your right, Leonard's not like that at all, I'm just being stupid again", Penny admitted.
"Penny, do try and cultivate confidence in yourself and stop putting yourself down. Try and see yourself through your husband's eyes. Right then, that's enough for today, and I shall see you both next week then".
Penny Thanked Dr Gallo, booked a repeat visit for the next week with the receptionist and then left.