"You know the old saying, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," well you should try it sometime Ziva," Tony smiled stuffing some potato chips into his mouth.

"I always thought it was through his chest," she replied smiling, fingering the nail file, and twirling it ever so seductively through her hand.

"But then again Tony, you could always go up through the stomach, if the knife was a stiletto," Tim added.

"Of course you know this? Why and how? Are you a hired assassin?" Tony now questioned looking worried.

"Tony, I write, I research, I know how to kill people…..theoretically, but in real life I shoot them, OK," Tim finished saying.

"Gear up, dead Petty Officer, Quantico mess hall …" their Boss added appearing from the director's direction.

-oOo-

"Mmmmmmmm messy, and not because Anthony, the Petty Officer in question is in the mess hall, but because of the blunt force trauma implemented to the skull by either a mallet or because she was a chef, a meat tenderiser, but before you say anything Jethro, this one could have been a double sided tenderiser, the ridges or spikes on the other side… but as always I won't know until we get our new guest home. Gentlemen?" as Ducky now indicated to Jimmy and Tony, "The bag?" pointing to the body bag.

-oOo-

Back at the Navy Yard, Ducky was getting carried away with stories of old.

"Your injuries remind me of a case I saw when I was a student at Edinburgh Medical School, not that I was a ME in those days. No it was when I was out with the "gang" so to speak, we met up with the girls from the Dough school. It was really the Domestic Science College, situated just up from Haymarket Station, just at Atholl Crescent, the girls were always willing to cook and share, purely to improve their culinary skills. But I digress, we did at one point have to see a post mortem and it just so happened that the gentleman involved had a similar mark on his head. It turned out that he had been murdered by one of the lecturers."

Ducky didn't hear the door slide open and Tony enter the room.

"Ducky, I need some advice?"

"From me Anthony, why not your father or Jethro, come to think of that," came to reply.

"No Duks, you don't understand. Can't ask dad, as, well he burns stuff or it takes too long to cook. As for Gibbs well, I don't think steak cooked on an open fire is very romantic, and well the smell of burnt meat in your clothes and hair is just…" as Tony shivered, "I wanted to impress for Valentine's day."

"Quite, but I must ask what the lady or is it gentleman," Ducky asked a sly smile on his face, "Likes to eat?"

"Not sure, in fact haven't invited her to dinner yet."

"So we are talking female, good. Well fish is always a good stand by. Salmon enjoys a rich history as a natural aphrodisiac. It is only in recent times that it's been pinpointed that salmon is a sexual powerhouse. An excellent source of protein…..essential for stamina… it is also loaded with omega 3's, proven to elevate serotonin levels in the brain and thereby enhance mood. Vitamin rich, it is a great dose of A, D, B and calcium, all known to be necessary for giving the all-important libido lift. And if grilled, or poached very slimming."

"You could say the same for oysters."

"Oh yes, the oyster's slightly salty sweet scent, a smell not dissimilar to a potent female pheromone, has proven to be sexually stirring. Although loaded with zinc, a key nutrient for testosterone production, Casanova supposedly consumed 50 oysters each day to keep his libido in top form."

"What about chocolate?" Tony now asked.

"Now chocolate's reputation as an aphrodisiac, is deeply embedded in the history of Western civilization, you know. The Mayans used cacao beans to pay for prostitutes in their early version of whorehouses. The going rate was around eight beans per woman I believe, not that I was there you understand Anthony," seeing a smile on Tony's face. "And the great Aztec ruler, Montezuma, one of the first red hot lovers to tap into chocolate's strengths, was reported to have consumed as much as fifty cups of chocolate elixir before heading off to his harem."

"Fascinating Ducky, but what do you suggest?"

"I suggest you maybe take a crash course in gourmet cooking from this acquaintance's daughter," Ducky replied moving to his desk and removing a business card from the drawer, "Madame Soufflet, she wrote a book called "How to rise to the occasion - every time," and it isn't what you think Anthony, but her classes are very informative and well presented, and I am sure you will find what you need for your romantic tryst."

Tony thanked the good doctor and left with the card.