A/N.. This is my submission for Fandom for Soldiers. I hope that you enjoy this little story. Special thanks to Sunflower Fran for betaing this for me. Thanks to Opal Aline, CMyBabyBlues and Jennifer Garcia for prereading for me.
EPOV
I woke up to any empty bed again this morning, I groaned at hearing the sound of silence all around me. I got up and looked at her side and sighed. What happened to the mornings where we didn't want to get out of bed?
It seems like lately she gets up way before I do. I miss the days that I would wake up and pull her close to me and we'd kiss for hours before we actually had to get up and start our day.
I fumbled my way to the bathroom and turned on the water for a shower, the smell of her shampoo and body wash still lingered. The scent of her still got to me, making my body yearn for her as I stepped under the spray. I let it run over my body as I thought back to the way we were before. There was a time that we couldn't keep our hands off each other, and we were late for many family dinners.
How did we get this so far apart?
I thought about it as I quickly washed.
I couldn't think of when or how it happened. Maybe I no longer interest her anymore? I wonder if my kisses still turn her on? Is there someone at the office that has her attention? I needed to talk to her and see what is going on.
I finished my shower, and dried off. I went back to our bedroom and got dressed in my suit for the day. I slipped on my glasses not feeling like wearing my contacts today. I grabbed my briefcase and headed down to the kitchen.
Walking into the kitchen I could see her standing against the counter, her back was to me and I could tell she knew I was there by her posture.
Walking up behind her I brushed my lips over the nape of her neck, "Morning baby."
"Morning," she said softly as I turned her around and leaned in to kiss her.
She turned her head slightly and my lips pressed against her cheek.
I pulled away and looked at her, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing Edward, I have a lot going on at work," she said as she walked away.
I heard her shoes echoing through the house, "I'll be home late, so I'll grab dinner."
"Bella, wait. We need talk tonight. Please."
"Fine, I'll grab food for both of us and we can talk then."
BPOV
I woke up before the alarm went off and I looked at my sleeping husband next to me. I slowly ran my fingers over his cheek and he smiled as he hugged his pillow. How did we get so far apart? There were times where we couldn't be bothered to leave the bed. We'd spend every second we could wrapped up in each other, now I can't remember when we did anything other than sleep in our bed.
I got up slowly without waking him and I walked into the bathroom. I turned on the water and checked the temperature as I slowly stripped out of my clothes. I looked the same as I did when we got married ten years ago.
We got married right after we graduated high school, when we were both eighteen. We were so in love, and we couldn't keep our hands off each other. However, since Edward made junior associate at the firm and I took over the company, there hasn't been any time left for passion in our marriage.
It seems like we are more roommates than husband and wife.
I still love my husband and there's no one else who can turn me on with just a look, but there's no spark anymore.
No time for being together.
I'm worried that he's seeing someone at the office. Probably one of the young interns who are eager to please.
Taking a good look at myself in the mirror, I feel I am still attractive. I was only twenty-seven, turning twenty-eight in September. Most of our friends were having babies now, but we were never sure if we wanted them. At first, we were planning to have one once we graduated college, but things got in the way. Now we barely take time to be together, so baby making would be a challenge since we hardly ever do more than sleep together, if that.
As I step under the spray, I realize that I have used the same body wash and shampoo for years. Could it be that he is tired of the same thing and needs a change? Maybe I've become boring to Edward, and he's had to look elsewhere for more stimulating company.
I really don't think he'd cheat on me, but one never knows.
I finished my shower and then went to get dressed.
Edward was still in our bed, his arm stretched out as if he searched for me.
Once dressed, I walked downstairs to the kitchen and started the coffee.
I toasted a bagel and sipped my coffee as I heard the shower running and I knew it wouldn't be long before he'd be walking into the kitchen.
I turned my back to the door as I ate and waited.
I could feel his presence behind me as he leaned in and said "Morning baby."
He turned me to him and leaned in to kiss me; I turned my cheek to him.
I knew that would make him angry, but he didn't show it. He calmly asked what was wrong and I gave him the generic answer of having a lot of work stuff on my mind.
Turning to leave, I told him I would be late and would eat dinner out.
He stopped me by telling me we needed to talk, so I agreed to come home early.
I made my way to my office in a daze, thinking over what he could want to talk over.
Is this it?
Does he want to divorce me? I know I've been distant, but it doesn't mean I want out.
I had a meeting to prepare for and thankfully, I knew the material very well and it wouldn't be hard to get through.
Once the meeting was over one of the associates from the other company approached me and asked me to go out for a drink. I declined, but he was persistent.
"Come on, one drink," he said.
"No, Mr. Biers, I have a ton of work to do, besides that, I'm happily married," I replied hoping that he wouldn't see through that lie.
"Okay, fine, but it was just a drink, Isabella."
I despised hearing my name in that tone. I really only liked to hear Edward call me Isabella when we were alone together. He said it in such a way that made my insides flutter.
I was glad to be back in my office and working. Around two o'clock Alice came in carrying a bouquet of flowers along with my lunch.
"From my brother," she said as she handed me the card and placed the flowers on the desk.
"Looking forward to our talk, Bella. Love you, Edward."
His little notes could still make me smile, even when we haven't spoken a lot lately.
Alice returned to her desk, and I was left alone with my thoughts. I turned my eyes to a picture of Edward and me on my bookshelf. It was taken at our wedding, and we looked so happy and so in love. You could see it radiating from our eyes.
Do we still look like that?
I sent him a quick text thanking him for the flowers and I told him I'd be home about seven-thirty.
I had a few more things to do before my last meeting. I had already ordered our dinner for tonight, all I had to do was pick it up on my way home.
Every time I thought about what Edward wanted to talk about it made me a bit nervous. What if this is it? What if he doesn't want to be married anymore?
I tried hard to keep my thoughts on my work, but every second that ticked by got me closer to the inevitable conversation with Edward. What if I come home and there's another woman there with him? Would he do that do to me in our house? I know my thoughts were running away from me and it may be nothing.
I gathered my stuff and made my way to the conference room. My stomach felt as if it were one huge knot.
I sat at the head of the table. As Alice placed the booklets in front of everyone, I fiddled with my wedding ring. Normally. I'm not a nervous person at all, but having to go home and have a heart-to-heart with Edward had me on the edge. Even though he sent flowers and signed them with love, doesn't mean that all is well.
We haven't been good for a while. We barely speak anymore and we definitely haven't had sex in a long time. I don't know what will come from this, and part of me was scared to death that we won't be together much longer.
Everyone started filing in and I had to focus on the agenda. I presented the material and opened the meeting up for questions. Then I listened as various people debated the material, and finally it was agreed upon, and the meeting was over.
Once I had everything I needed from my office, I said goodbye to Alice and headed to the elevator.
I closed my eyes as it descended to the parking garage.
I walked to my car, and quickly drove to the restaurant to get our dinner. I turned the radio on to distract my thoughts, but unfortunately, every song brought Edward to mind. I left it on some country channel and listened to the words of the song that was on as I pulled into the driveway of our home. I looked up at the house as the music played on.
Baby, what are we becoming?
It feels just like we're always running
Rolling through the motions every day
That definitely sounds like us, I thought to myself.
The house looked huge and lonely even though Edward was home. I didn't see any other cars, so that meant he was alone.
The song continued, and I listened closely.
I could lean in to hold you
Or act like I don't even know you
Seems like you could care less either way
What happened to that girl I used to know?
I just want us back to the way we were before
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby?
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy?
Do I have your love? Am I still enough?
Tell me, don't I? Or tell me, do I, baby
Give you everything that you ever wanted?
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely?
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life?
Baby, do I?
Remember when we didn't have nothing
But a perfect simple kind of loving?
Baby, those sure were the days
There was a time our love ran wild and free
But now I'm second-guessing everything I see!
I was in tears as I listened to the words. Is this how we are now?
I turned the radio off and dried my tears. I opened the door, grabbed my stuff and walked slowly to the door to face whatever he had to say.
It seemed like every step I took was torture. My stomach churned and I felt ill.
EPOV
I heard her car pull up in the driveway and I looked out the window to see her sitting there looking up at the house. I wanted to run to her, pull her from the car and wrap my arms around her.
I loved her so much.
With both of us working so much, we've just grown apart. I don't want to lose my wife, but this is not the marriage I wanted. I can't help but think maybe there's someone else in her life. Someone who's there to listen to her or just to make her laugh. I used to be that person. I used to make her smile all the time.
**flashback***
I waited at the end of that ridiculously long aisle that my sister created for our outdoor wedding. We just graduated high school, and Bella and I wanted to have our wedding outdoors. We decided to get married on my birthday; everyone said I'd be sure never to forget our anniversary that way.
I couldn't wait to see her walking towards me in her dress; I knew what it looked like. I may have snuck a peek at it on her phone. But I never told her that.
As her father turned the corner I saw her, she lifted her eyes to mine and I smiled. She never looked more beautiful than she did at that moment.
"It''s not too late to back out now," Emmett leaned in and said in my ear.
"No way, I've wanted this since I first laid eyes on Bella."
She finally reached me and her father placed her hand in mine. I could feel it trembling.
"Are you sure you want to do this, baby? We can wait longer," I whispered in her ear.
"No, I want this, Edward. I'm fine, really," she said with a huge smile.
The minister started and it wasn't long before we had to recite our vows that we wrote for each other.
I went first and said my vows loudly and confidently.
Bella's words were lower, but she cleared her throat and her voice became louder and full of confidence as she professed her love to me in front of our family and friends.
As the minister pronounced us husband and wife, I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her close to me and kissed her deeply. It felt like everyone vanished except us.
"I love you, my sweet Bella. More than the air I breathe," I murmured against her lips.
"I love you too, Edward. You're everything to me."
I turned us towards our family and friends, and we headed down the aisle as husband and wife.
What had happened to us, I thought, as I watched her get out of the car and I rushed out the door to help her?
"Hey baby, let me help you," I said as I reached for some bags.
"Thank you," she said softly.
We walked silently into the house; I carried the bags of food into the kitchen and set them on the counter as she put her purse and briefcase down.
"I'm going to change, and then I'll be down to help you with dinner," she said as she walked upstairs to our bedroom.
"Okay," I said as I started taking out the containers of food.
She had gone to our favorite restaurant and ordered our favorite meal. I made both our plates and brought them over to the table that I already had set up with candles and our best china.
I opened the wine and poured us both a glass as I waited for her to come down.
I looked up as I heard her footsteps coming down.
"You got everything ready," she said.
"Yeah, I hope you don't mind," I said as I lead her to the table.
"Its fine," she said as she sat down.
We started eating with not one word between us; we never needed to fill every second with chatter, but this wasn't the same. This was a deafening silence; all you could hear was the sound of our silverware on our plates.
I didn't like this, it was uncomfortable and so not us.
She barely looked up at me as we ate, either she felt guilty over something or she didn't know what to say.
We finished eating and I picked up the plates and put them in the dishwasher as she stood and fidgeted with her ring.
"Do you want more wine or some tea?" she asked.
"Tea, would be best," I said as I put away the remaining food.
"Bella, I didn't like our silence at dinner."
"I know," she said softly as she added the milk and sugar to our cups.
Once the water boiled, she poured it in the cups and then carried them out to the living room.
She sat on the couch and I did the same.
"You wanted to talk, Edward. So please go ahead," she said as she took a sip of her tea.
"What's going on, baby? We barely speak anymore, you get up before I do, and you come home later than normal. Do I not interest you anymore?" I asked.
"I could ask you the same thing. Is there someone else?"
"How can you even think that?" I asked running my fingers through my hair.
"Because you never come home on time, and when you do we don't talk. You don't kiss me the way you used to. I go to bed alone, and then you come to bed when you think I'm sleeping. If you want a divorce, just say so."
"What? No! God no, Baby. I want you, us," I said as I let out a sigh.
"Could've fooled me," she said softly.
"Do you want a divorce? Is there someone else?" I asked looking into her eyes as I held her hands in mine.
"No, I.. I don't. I thought you did. I thought you found someone younger, more eager to please you."
"There's no one, Baby. I don't want anyone more than you. I miss you so much. I miss talking to you and kissing you." Shit, why is it so hard to tell her that I missed sex with her? "I miss having sex with you. I could never want anyone else."
"I miss you too. There's only you for me, Edward."
"That's good to hear," I said as I squeezed her hand. "I want to fix us, Baby."
"How?" she asked wearily.
"Maybe take a mini vacation, just us. So that we can reconnect, it's been awhile, love," I said as slowly ran my fingers over her arm.
"Hmm ... That sounds nice. Where should we go?"
"Anywhere, as long as we are together."
"How about a cabin in the Olympic Peninsula?"
"No phone, no internet, no..."
"Interruptions from nosey family," she said finishing my sentence the way she used to do.
"Alice," I said with a chuckle as I moved to sit closer to her sliding my arm around her.
"Exactly."
It felt nice to sit here with her in my arms; this is the closest we've been in a while.
"How soon can we go?" she asked looking up at me.
"I can clear my schedule for Friday through Labor Day. We can come back late Monday. Can you get away Friday?"
"I'll make it happen, Baby," she said as she leaned in and kissed me gently.
I couldn't help but deepen the kiss; the first real one we've had in a long time, and I wanted to enjoy it.
She moaned softly as I ran my tongue over her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth to me.
I slowly massaged her tongue with mine as she gripped the back of my hair.
I laid her back on the couch and kissed her over and over again as my hands roamed over her body.
"I've missed this, Baby," I murmured as I kissed up to her ear.
"Me too," she said as she pulled my lips back to hers.
It seemed like hours that we laid there kissing and touching each other before I pulled back and looked at her swollen lips.
"I love you, Isabella. Always have; I've never stopped," I said looking into her deep, brown eyes that were brimming with tears.
"I love you too, Edward. I never stopped."
She wiped the tears away and I leaned down to kiss her again, "Shall we head up to bed?"
She nodded at me.
I wasn't sure if we'd make love tonight or wait until our vacation, but I'd let her decide what we would do.
Slowly we walked upstairs, hand in hand and it felt so perfect to be going to bed at the same time. My heart felt lighter, and I had hope that we'd make it through this rough patch.
When we reached our door, Bella spoke as she looked up into my eyes. "I want you to make love to me, Edward. It's been too long and I don't just want to sleep next to you. I want to feel you loving me, like we used to."
I couldn't deny her anything; I'd give her the world if she asked for it.
"I don't need the world," she said softly with a laugh. "I just need you."
I didn't even realize that I said that aloud.
We slowly undressed and slipped under the covers, she was still the most beautiful woman ever.
We slowly kissed as I moved over her. I pushed her hair off her shoulder as I slipped inside her.
She still felt perfect around me as we both moaned. I slowly made love to my wife, cherishing every sound she made, as every touch set my body ablaze for her.
I needed her so much and I can't believe we went this long without touching each other.
"Never again, Baby," I murmured as we moved together, our bodies glistening with sweat as we kissed and held each other tightly.
She nodded, knowing exactly what I was referring to.
"I love you," she murmured against my lips.
"I love you, too," I said as I felt her walls clenching around me and she cried out my name.
I followed behind her as I whispered her name repeatedly as my body trembled above her as I kissed her lips.
"Amazing," I whispered.
"Mmm ... yeah, always was."
"I don't know how we went without that for this long."
"Me either, Edward. But I know I don't want to go without it again."
"I know," I said turning us so that we were on our sides. "Feel free to kick my ass if we go longer than a day without being together."
She laughed and said okay, as I kissed her softly.
"Do you ever think about us having children?" she asked.
"I do, but I wasn't sure if it was something you still wanted."
"I want to try," she said with a smile.
"When?" I asked.
"Anytime."
"Really?"
"Yes," she said with a breathtaking smile on her face.
I smiled at her as I leaned in to kiss her. I couldn't wait to start trying to make a baby with my beautiful wife.
*9 months later*
EPOV
As I was sitting in the chair next to my sleeping wife, I watched our baby, Noah Alexander, sleep in his bassinet. I thought back to the time we barely spoke to each other, and how we overcame that and reconnected.
We were on the verge of separating. I could feel and see the distance between us and I knew we had to fix it or we wouldn't be together anymore. I asked her to come home for dinner and that we needed to talk.
We talked and realized we still had so much love for each other. Then we made love, I couldn't tell you the last time that I held her in my arms, let alone made love to her before that night.
It was also the night we decided to go away for the weekend; to a secluded cabin without distractions or interruptions.
Once at the cabin, we barely left the bedroom, except to eat.
We laughed and talked, and made love as often as possible. We rekindled our love; not that we didn't love each other; we just didn't take the time to be alone together. Work was our distraction.
We knew that neither of us wanted to get divorced. We just had to get our priorities straight and fight for our love.
Noah let out a soft cry and I got up to get him.
"Hey little guy," I said softly, looking down at his perfect little face.
I couldn't help the tears that fell from my eyes as I watched him. If we hadn't fought for our love, this would never have been possible.
I looked up to see Bella smiling at me.
"Is he okay?" she asked.
"He's perfect."
"We're perfect," I said with a smile.