Not mine, just playing.
Shameless Luke x Lorelai fluff.
She stepped back, one hand splayed across her hip, to look at the picture. It wasn't straight, and somehow that was enough for the dam of emotions within her to burst all at once. "Why does it have to be so hard?" she screamed, stomping her foot like a toddler. Then, realising how odd – how immature – that sounded, she raised her hands to her face, pressing her palms to the flesh of her cheeks so her pinky fingers touched over the bridge of her nose. Breathe in, breathe out. God, Lorelai, you're out of control.
She didn't hear him come in. To be honest, she'd forgotten he was there at all, fixing them lunch while she tried – and failed – to hang a picture like a deranged housewife. But then he was behind her, one hand on her shoulder in silent support as he, too, looked at the picture. "It has a certain charm, you know" he said in that gruff voice, no doubt hoping to make her feel better.
"Thanks, Luke, but you can tell me it looks awful."
"It looks fine. And we can fix it."
"I just want to know why it has to be so hard!" She could feel the emotional overflow taking hold again, and this time she reached out to whatever she could for support. Thankfully, Luke was there and she was wrapped in his arms before she could say any more. His hands ran soothingly up and down her back, and she concentrated on the patterns they made instead of the tears leaking out of her eyes. "It gets so hard sometimes I wonder whether it will ever be fully right."
"Sssh," Luke whispered into her hair like he was calming a child. "It's okay."
She didn't know what possessed her to push out of his arms. "But it's not!"
He stood there, looking surprised for a second, before his posture turned defensive. "Lorelai, what is this about?" He said with a look she and Rory had long called "grumpy man."
"Everything. Nothing. I don't know!" To his view, she was losing it fast – but if she didn't want his comfort, far be it from him to give it to her.
Somewhere in his head, a lightbulb clicked. "Is this about us?" he asked, voice dropping to vulnerable levels.
Lorelai hesitated, took a deep breath, and then sighed. "Yes."
"Please elaborate." She looked down to avoid the familiar steel in his gaze. It made her feel trapped, distrusted.
"I want this, but it's so incredibly hard. There are so many complications, and … and a part of me wonders if it might just be easier to be single again. I'm good at being single. I don't have to worry about wrecking up other people's plans, or hurting their feelings, or taking more than I give. I can just…be me, and not interfere with anyone else's life – except maybe Rory's and Sookie's and…"
He knew she had been about to say "and yours" and then thought better of it. It was alright, anyway. He knew where he stood on this. And he thought he knew where she did too.
He stopped forward to underscore his words. "I can think of a million things easier than this, Lorelai. A million things easier than trying to understand what's going through your brain sometimes. I don't think anything in anyone's life is harder than a long-term relationship. But here's the thing…" the intensity in his gaze was almost threatening. He lifted a curl from her head and threaded it through his fingers. "…I love you," he said, and his features softened. "And love might be the hardest thing of all, but it's also the best thing we do."
A smiled touched the corner of her lips. "You always know exactly what to say," she said in the voice of a foregone conclusion.
"Because I'm all in on this." He raised one eyebrow, and Lorelai could see his honesty.
She bit her lip in response. "I'm trying to be?" She said it like it was a question, and perhaps it was. Sometimes her whole life felt like one big question waiting to be answered. She was in love with him, but was that enough?
"Good." He said softly, stepping still closer. "Try as hard as you can, and know that I'm in this crazy thing with you."
"God, I love you," she whispered through drying tears, and reached her arms around his neck.
He tipped his forehead against hers. "It's the best thing we do."