Alfred Maxwell had been in Holby for little over a week despite the fact they Connie Beauchamp had only recommended a day or two, she spent every evening by his bedside. He eased the loneliness that seemed to be a constant fixture in her life since Grace's departure, his stories of his time in cardiothoracics also interested her to no end. Every day she saw Alfred smile at her, but she knew just how much he hated his life, she knew how sick he was of his existence as it was. He was living for the hour a day that he got to spend talking about the best bit of life, in a way he enjoyed it because it reminded him that he was not useless but it also reminded him that he'd had to give up the thing he enjoyed most. As soon as he left hospital he'd be back to what life had been like only a week ago, lonely and confined to a wheelchair in his room with in the care home.
"You know what you told me the other day…" Connie began, unsure as to where she was going with this as just the thought managed to coat her eyes with a layer of water. Taking Alfred's hand, she pushed her chair closer to the bed in the side ward that she'd managed to get for the elderly man with her powers of persuasion.
"Don't Connie." Alfred spoke, moving his hand slightly so that it was now resting on top of the Clinical Lead's.
"Tell me about your wife." She spoke, changing the subject in the knowledge that she'd come back to what she wanted to say later on.
"She died a few years ago." He replied bluntly, making it obvious that he didn't want to speak about this either and yet she continued to push.
"I don't think you've ever mentioned her name through your stories this week." Connie continued.
"Betty, she was the best dancer I knew. The belle of any ball." He started, smiling to himself at the memory. "Connie, I don't want to do this anymore. I can't live with the memories, after she died I threw myself into work but I don't even have that luxury anymore. I spend all day in that chair, I have all the time in the world to think about her and I don't want to. It hurts. I don't want to get to a point where I don't want to get to the point where I'm not me anymore." He said, sobbing gently as he spoke, causing tears to spill down Connie's face at the sight in front of her. Seeing Alfred's pain flicked a switch inside the younger doctor's head, and suddenly she could no longer judge his actions from earlier in the week, she knew what she had to do to stop his pain and for the first time in her life she was willing to put a patient's feelings in front of the duty that she knew she had.
"Do you need more oxygen?" She asked, standing up from the chair that she had been perched on and moving around to where the oxygen tank was.
"Are you sure that you want to do this Connie?" He asked, glancing knowingly at her, wanting to know that she had considered all the consequences of what she was doing before he agreed to the relief that he had been so desperate for.
"Do you need more oxygen?" She asked, ignoring his question but her tone stronger this time.
"Yes, I'm really struggling for breath here." He replied, watching as Connie turned the oxygen dial up to its highest flow. She struggled to meet his stare as she moved back round and sat on the chair next to Alfred's bed, rubbing his non-scolded arm gently as she watched him. Looking at her watch she figured that she had about fifteen minutes until he'd have peacefully passed away, she turned back towards him, now able to meet his gaze and found pure relief evident in his eyes. He was getting what he'd wanted and no matter how hard she tried, she could not manage to convince herself that what she was doing was wrong.
It was fifteen minutes before the machines began to beep, alerting Connie to the fact that Alfred was gone now. Nurses hurried into the room, one of which ushered Connie out. She watched through the window, watching them unsure of what was wrong, like she had been 7 days ago when she was in their shoes. She watched on edge slightly as they attempted several rounds of CPR, all of which failed.
"I'm sorry Mrs Beauchamp, he's gone." A nurse told her gently as they left the room, before another nurse left and whispered in the first nurse's ear. Connie walked away slowly, back towards the ED to try and go on with her day, to blank out what she'd just done. What she'd not expected was police to greet her as she tried to enter her office.
"Connie Beauchamp?" A young police man asked, and received a nod from the older woman, who was wondering who they had in the department that they would need to speak to. "I'm arresting you on suspicion murder of Alfred Maxwell, you do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned, something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence."
A/N So I've written a fic from where Connie is taken away by the police in the trailer before, but as Grace is gone I thought I'd do another one based on last night's episode. I also wanted to take this opportunity to say that I will be not be writing so much for a while, you may see the odd fic from me but I'd like to concentrate on revision from here on out for my AS's. Sorry but I hope you understand.
Beth x