TITLE: A Thousand Days, A Thousand Miles (Part 1 of series)

AUTHOR: Ally K

EMAIL: sunshine_slayer@hotmail.com

ARCHIVE: heliopolis when its back up and running, website in progress

CATEGORY: POV, Song fic, S/J, Future

SPOILERS: Meridian, Revelations,

SEASON/SEQUEL: Future and there will be a sequel

RATING: PG

CONTENT WARNINGS:

SUMMARY: Seven years after the Goa'uld has been defeated, Sam starts to realise that she still has feelings for Jack . Based on the Vanessa Carlton song 'Thousand Miles'.

DISCLAIMER: None of this is mine; the actual story and idea is mine, but the characters and name etc, don't belong to me.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I absolutely love this song at the moment and the idea came to me whilst listening to for like the hundredth time! There will be a sequel but I want feedback before I write it!

A thousand days, a thousand miles

#Making my way down town Walking fast Faces pass And I'm home bound#

It's been seven years since we finally saved the world for the last time. We had helped our allies get back to their former power and discovered an old device that the Tollans had been developing before their demise. It was with them that we were able to wipe out entire motherships and locate where Anubis and Osiris were hiding. With no 'Gods' left Teal'c helped free the Jaffa. After it was a non-stop party though when the President announced it to the world, the Officials were less than happy at how it had classified.

Seven years, nine since Daniel ascended and even three since I last saw Jack. Teal'c went back to his wife and now Rya'c has a sister, Liana. Me, well it's funny I thought that I had everything, 2 adorable children, Abby and Mark and a husband, Toby who I love but I'm not. It's probably just me trying to find a fault but I guess what I don't want to admit was that I was wrong to marry him. We rushed into it and then a year later Abby was born.

Now, my life is simple, I often miss the danger of the Program and having little time to solve what would seem an impossible problem. I have now become a living cliché and am ordinarily walking down the street off to do my shopping. I walk fast as I have to pick the kids from school and I barely notice the faces I pass in the street. This is my life now; I am totally home bound. I am a housewife and to the people that pass me I've had a normal life.

#Staring blankly ahead Just making my way Making a way Through the crowd#

I just stare blankly ahead as I push my way through the crowded shopping aisles methodically placing groceries into the basket. Everyone has forgotten the numbers of Air Force Officers that gave their lives in the fight to save their very existence. None of them even know about my friend's brave sacrifice. For them it is all just a distant memory.

#And I need you And I miss you And now I wonder If I could fall Into the sky Do you think time Would pass me by Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles If I could just see you... tonight#

As I get back into the car I stop for a second and remember all I gave up for the lifestyle I had supposedly always wanted since I was a child. I used to watch my mother when I was small and think I wanted to be her. Now that I am she, all I can think about is my old life and love..

After Daniel ascended, Jack was different; to begin with he didn't even seem to care. He threw the team into that first mission to help the Asgard when we were blatantly not ready. When I questioned him, he just tried to convince me Daniel had been expendable, that they hadn't been best friends. However, a month later he finally broke down and admitted how much he missed him. After that nearly every night we'd just hang out and talk. We were totally comfortable with each other and I finally began to see what I had missed all these years. The real Colonel. I am not really sure when we actually became a couple we just came together. When we were together, I needed him and every time we were apart, I missed him. Then I would have done anything for him, would have gone anywhere for him and nothing would be too much. I'd walk a thousand miles if he asked me, even if it was just on a whim. Anything, I was his.

#It's always times like these When I think of you And I wonder If you ever think of me#

Now I can't help but think of him as I drive away from the busy shopping car park. Can't help but remember the good times. Its every time I feel a bit low, I think of him and wonder whether at this time he's thinking of me?

#Cause everything's so wrong And I don't belong Living in Your precious memory#

After all we meant to each other, I just hope I'm not a person that he only ever occasionally thinks of. Most of all I hope he doesn't hate me. I don't think I'll ever get over how all what we had built on was destroyed with one action.

Everything had been so strange after we'd saved the world. With the celebrations over and no regulations hanging over our head. We could finally tell the world how we really felt about each other. Nothing was holding us back but we both just for some reason stayed to ourselves. We didn't see each other for a week. Once inseparable, now we barely spoke. Then we met at the bar and talk was still strained between us. We danced but so far away we could barely hear each other. That was it.

I finally got the courage to go to his house, realising there was nothing holding me back and that was when he found him with *her*. He tried to tell me it meant nothing but it was unforgivable. What was worse was it wasn't the first time, they'd been seeing each other for months.

I could only think- why? How could he do that to me? I became secluded for months but finally I was able to put it behind me and went out to a club, it was there I met Toby.

#Cause I need you And I miss you And now I wonder If I could fall Into the sky Do you think time Would pass me by ,oh Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles If I could just see you... tonight#

Toby and I never had the passion, not like I had with Jack. I guess he was safe and my broken heart couldn't cope with being shattered again. He was so sweet and swept me off my feet.

Now I want something else, I need to change my life. I want the excitement back and I need to be loved. I need Jack back, I miss him and now I'm beginning to wonder whether he misses me? As I stop at the traffic lights I gaze up at the cerulean sky and think about how the seven years have flown by. I haven't seen him in three years, not since I once saw him in the park five years ago, while I took Abby and Mark there to play and now I would do anything to see him. Anything, if I could see him tonight.

#And I, I don't wanna let you know I, I drown in your memory I,I don't wanna let this go I, I've fallen...#

As I drive on I realise that maybe I don't want him to know how desperate I am to see him. How much I need to be with him? I just don't want to let go of the hope of us being together because if he doesn't want to be with me. If he has someone else, it would break my heart.

It's his entire fault, now I'm contemplating an affair; I've fallen from my honest, safe relationship. Damn him!

#Making my way down town Waking fast Faces pass And I'm home bound#

My eyes look back at the clock and I cringe at how late I am to pick them up. I park the car in the nearest space and walk quickly done the street. The faces of the other parents pass me and I get the feeling of being an ordinary housewife again.

#Staring blankly ahead Making my way Making a way Through the crowd#

Another mother calls to her son, Charlie, and I instantly remember the pain that Jack went through. I barely acknowledge the people around me as I rush to school gate. I am irritated as I am forced to push through the crowds then I see the kids and wave.

#And I still need you And I still miss you And now I wonder If I could fall into the sky Do you think time, would pass us by Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles If I could just see you...#

As I kiss Mark, then Abby on the cheek I think about how much it must have hurt Jack to lose Charlie. Finally I can honestly know how hard it must have been for him. If I was to lose either one if them it would devastate me, I doubt I could go on.

Even as I ask them about their day at school, I am still thinking about Jack. About how much I need him and miss his touch. The feeling I had whenever we made contact. I really would do anything to feel that way again. I know now, I have to risk it. I have to know, I could lose everything but I just have to know, how he feels.

#If I could fall into the sky Do you think time would pass me by Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles If I could just see you... If I could just hold you... tonight#

I wait till the kids are in bed and I have told Toby he should go out with his mates and have fun, only then do I nervously pick up the phone. As I dial, I pray he hasn't moved. I review in my mind why I am doing this. My reason is selfish and simple: I have to know how he feels because deep down I still love him and I don't think I could ever love anyone like I cared for him. You see I would do anything, even walk a thousand miles if I could see him, just one last time and be held in his strong arms, solely for old times.

tbc

(Want to find out what happens, tell me!)