Title: Who am I?
Summary: Sora finally gets Axel after hiding in the shadows while he was with Roxas. But now Roxas is inside of Sora and no one can tell the difference anymore. Axel/Sora AkuSor heavily implied Axel/Roxas AkuRoku
Word count: 1,306
A/N: Inspired by Eternal Grey's "Flames All Around Me" Chapter 7. I couldn't sleep until I got this out goddammit. Well, I hope it's not complete gibberish. And that it's at least decent. The word count went from 1,213 to 1,215 to 1,306 . Anyways, R&R!
I had Axel. Finally, after trying for so long. Well, I guess it doesn't count as trying if you're staying in the shadows because they're dating someone else. Though if you got technical, that someone else was also me.
Roxas is me and I am Roxas.
People made the mistake of confusing us so much that we may as well have been each other sometimes.
But, now Roxas was back to being an actual part of me, he was back inside my body and mind like he was supposed to be. I couldn't hear him or see him aside from inside dreams, but I knew he was still there and influenced many things I did.
But I had Axel now. He was mine and mine alone. Roxas didn't have him anymore. I finally had him, but that doesn't mean I was happy with it.
To Axel, I wasn't Sora, Keyblade Master, Hero of Light. To him I was still Roxas, Key of Destiny, but with a different name. I was number thirteen in the Organization, but I didn't get sent on daily missions and I wasn't a nobody. May as well be now. Sora has completely drifted from everyone's memories. It's so bad as to I'll respond readily to Roxas but if you call me Sora it can take a while before it registers in my mind as me. I guess this relationship wasn't the best thing to ever happen to me.
In going to Axel, I had abandoned everyone. I thought that, now that I had him, he'd be all I ever really needed again. But only too late did I realize that no matter what, you need friends. They barely acknowledged me when I talked to them anymore. I wasn't a significant part of anyone's life anymore. I was a nobody for all intents and purposes.
Axel, being who he was, had burned things in his room. The things happened to be anything that symbolized him being with Sora. But that didn't bother me.
I think I may actually be becoming Roxas. Either that or I'm trying so hard so everyone will be happy. Or am I becoming Sora? I can't tell where I started from where I'm going to end anymore.
Anyway, the fire had left a whole lot of ashes and whenever the AC turned on or a breeze swept through the window they kept getting more and more scattered around the room. I had decided to clean this mess up today, but there was one thing I had to do before Axel got back. Of course, I wasn't sure if he'd actually be back, since he had a bad habit of going on missions and up and disappearing before coming back a long while later- a lot longer than it should have taken (1).
I get up out of bed a stretch and ignoring the pain that shot up my back- reminders of the night before- had easily become second nature since coming here. I almost lived for that pain. Let me know that, yes, I was, in fact, real. Whoever "I" was. I wander over to the closet and pull out a pair of black jeans and boots before donning the Organization's black cloak and set out, not bothering to pull up the hood or put on gloves.
I get to Twilight Town and made sure to avoid any and all chances of meeting with Hayner, Pence, and Olette as I make my way to the nearest store.
After fulfilling my self-given mission I return back home with my hair bleach. I throw the cloak on the bed, leaving me in nothing from the waist up. I go back to the closet and dig out clothes that hadn't been worn in a long time. Roxas' (my?) old clothes. I bring the clothes to the bathroom and set them on the counter, before mixing the things for the bleach and putting it in my hair. While I let it sit I went through Axel's collection of pictures of him and me (Roxas?) and take one, taping it to the bathroom mirror while taking a few others and decorating the walls of the room with them.
As I did this, I remembered when each picture was taken. Relived all of the memories that felt right and wrong at the same time. After I was done, I went and ran water for a shower, turning the hot water all the way up before stripping down and showering to wash the bleach out of my hair. The sting of the heat felt numbingly good.
I get out and grab a towel from the shelf nearby, quickly toweling dry and putting on the clothes I had gathered before hand and going to the mirror, blow drying my hair and using my gel to style it like the picture. I couldn't even tell a difference. Of course, I couldn't tell if I was Sora or Roxas anymore.
I left the bathroom and finally got around to cleaning up the ashes and dust from Axel's burning session.
I was bent over picking up something I had swept from under the bed- it was Roxas's old necklace- when Axel walked in.
"Hey there, sexy," He says making me jump and stand up straight necklace in one hand and broom in the other, turning so I was facing him. "What'd you do to your hair?"
"I bleached it. I don't think I looked right with brown hair. It didn't look like the pictures." I shrug leaning the broom against the bed so I could put the necklace on.
"And why are you wearing Roxas' old clothes?" He asks. Did he forget that I am Roxas. Or... wait... Which am I?
"They were in the closet. You shouldn't keep clothes that won't be worn, so I'm wearing them." Axel walks over and cups my cheek in his hand.
"What did you wear when you went to get the bleach? Where did you go?" I didn't get why he was worrying. It's not like I was some fragile thing to be sheltered.
"I wore the Organization's standard issue clothes and went to Twilight Town," I answered lowering my eyes to his chest.
"You shouldn't be going out too much," He states.
"I can take care of myself, thank you very much," I grumble pushing him away slightly and turning my back to him, picking the broom back up and going back to sweeping.
"Aw, come on Roxy, you know I don't mean it like that," He says wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. "But you're still getting used to being both Sora and Roxas at the same time. You know I love you, and want you to do whatever you want to, Sora." Things like that happened a lot. I'd be called both Roxas and Sora and they wouldn't notice. Didn't even faze me anymore. I was both of them it all depended on when you caught me.
"I love you too, Axel," I reply dropping the broom and putting my hands on his shoulders behind me. "Always have, always will," I swear.
"Who'd have thought I'd fall in love with the Hero of Light?" Axel asks rhetorically, chuckling at himself as I turn in his embrace and kiss him. I couldn't tell if these feelings were real or just memories anymore. I was stuck halfway between being a Somebody and a Nobody.
Axel pins me on the bed and one thing led to another and it didn't bother me that he said Roxas' name even though he said Sora's last time.
I was both Roxas and Sora, and yet, somehow I was neither of them at the same time.
I was, simply, me.
A/N: gibberish done. It probably got a bit better from me looking it over when I woke up. Hope you liked .
(1) reference to Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days. When Axel had first gone to Castle Oblivion for the plot of Chain of Memories everyone back in the World That Never Was received word that everyone who had been at the Castle was kill/annihilated/whatever. This worried Roxas and Axel only came back a long ass time later. Axel ends up doing it again, but I can't remember what this mission was. Saix gets mad at him both times. If he were a parent Axel would have been grounded until the cows came home.