don't go, yet
Disclaimer: Sword Art Online belongs to Kawahara Reki
Note: The fanfiction took place after the Alicization arc.
"Kirito-kun, something the matter?" Her gaze is a piercing blade, in the search of truth within mine. I rapidly dumped it away, an awkward, wry smile made it way to cross my lips, throwing the straight line away.
I almost got busted.
"Nothing… Asuna." But the urge to fight back in the attempt of avoiding eye contact is hard. She mercilessly sought, and I as well hunted for a chance to escape.
Just… if only she gave me split second, to turn my head to the back. Past my shoulder was a figure, familiar and friendly. The word tremendous might have been too much of a description, it wasn't as strong as one thought it could be. But it wasn't as incompetent as how I was doing when I first learned how to protect those who were dear to me.
The figure reminded me much of summer.
The clanging swords, smell of pies and rough breads, relentless to the teeth just to have them fit in between mine.
Vocals of breaths and hearts thumping loud, the attempt of sneaking away, escaping was there in the flowing blood, emitted from the aura surrounding a human's build.
Lighter than Asuna's chestnut hair, the brown was almost yellow, in deep of cream, in the likeness of skin wrapping flesh. The green emeralds showing determination, light splitting out from the pair of circles, optics were well opened whenever the sword was flaunted.
He made me remember of something light, blue, the coldness in spring.
The ablaze of fire in the chilly weather when the first raindrop from the faction of a single night's downpour fell. That feeling whenever I took a mouthful of water to enter the cave of my mouth, just in order to satisfy the thirst I had been possessing long before I realized.
Ah, wasn't that the first thing I had done in order to know that the world I was thrown into wasn't a virtual world?
But existences like he was were the things that convinced me of irrational things.
He was too perfect to be artificial, too pure to be a mere presence of a primary experiment.
He was one of those many who were innocent, yet having the need to bear with such relentless truth.
The one who knew how swinging his axe every single day, merely fifty times before he stopped for an ephemeral break was fruitless yet his spirit was nowhere closer to yielding.
He was the one who talked about his dearest with the soft tone as gentle as a cat's purr, calming surge of waves lightly illuminating his eyes, and eagerness stroking tongue whenever his voice is a pitch higher, showing enthusiasm.
...And he was the one who died, closing his eyes before me. So hopeless, so disabled in bringing his life back to where it should have been. So helpless, so decrepit like even raising his arm was more than a normal job to be done.
He was the one who got this huge determination, hopes as high as stars placed themselves within the space of galaxy, yet the one who couldn't hinder fate.
I was frustrated knowing he was taken away, and earth provided him no place to stomp his feet down. Gravity pulled him anywhere but not the surface of earth, down below its surface and decided to keep him forever beyond my reach.
No one in this world would understand. After all, he was from the different world.
I didn't know myself if I understood him all of this time. We came from different worlds. Despite me living there for years, trying my best of increasing adaption, it didn't feign the fact I wasn't an origin of Underworld like he was.
Eugeo was... strong.
Strong, stronger than me, if I could admit it. All he did was praising me back then, throwing smiles, if I looked carefully, I could spot they were slightly full of admirations, some were signs of defeat and awe.
Reflecting more was the thing he should have done, I always thought of such a thing.
Ah... what an idiot was I. What an idiot am I.
I should have told him sooner. Now that communication was disabled, with his existence unknown, died out long before I realized he was really eaten away by time, by the seconds and the different pace of time elapsing here and there.
I lived my life here, normally as though nothing much happened albeit my brain was pretty much damaged from the unforgettable events I got to attend.
The figure far behind my shoulders... made a semblance to the Eugeo I used to know.
"Kirito-kun?" Asuna's soft voice pushed me back from the verge of daydream, I was being taken to where reality was. A soft breath being pulled in, and then exhaled out.
"You were spacing out?" It was more of a statement, than an act of inquiring.
Nothing much I could do than giving a small smile, edges pulled upward in force. And another denial by the terse shook of head. "Nothing, Asuna. Really."
And I felt a soft pat on my hand, atop the fingers, before then something seemed to be ensnaring mine with another. The warmth was convincing, comforting in engulfing the frosty weather tingling on my fingers.
Not enough to sooth my restless, overthinking mind, nor the tired heart in the process of searching.
What was that, the thing that I had been searching all long?
"If you have any problems," She stated, hoping that her words would reach me. I could tell by the look she held firm in her eyes, "Please just tell me."
I gave a reassuring nod, the smile had yet to disperse. But at the exactly same time, there was an inward scream.
No, you don't understand.
You would never understand how that back, that random figure, the person that just walked pass us, made a lot of resemblances with Eugeo, the Eugeo I knew who would think of never stop wielding his sword.
You would never know, how this heart wrenched in pain, in the eagerness of meeting those reflection of meadows once again, how I missed that color of green.
Do you know, Asuna, that you would probably be mad, thinking I'm crazy or whatever it is, when I said that I wanted to hold him tight, like how I used to embrace you in my hold.
To think he was the first male I wanted to have in my possession most.
At the same time he was the last I could achieve.
We both belonged to the different world. Savage, severe worlds.
Maybe, just maybe, I was putting myself too high that time that I didn't realize what my priority actually was. I threw up his needs, placing my ego high in the deed of performing begs.
Don't go, yet.
My heart hurt, my eyes produced more than tears and my mouth shouted more than words, but his deep optics whispered more than his lips could provide.
Good night. Don't give up on me.
Yet.
And when he closed his eyes, and went disappear like—
—poof.
His final blink of eyes blew brisk wind, an unspoken thought, he conceded that he was no longer there.
Kirito, don't leave me in spite of being dead. Don't go.
Yet.
.
.
Fin
a/n: I wrote this on midnight, very sorry for errors, moreover grammatical errors since English is never my first language. Thus, thank you for reading and I hope you guys are willing to drop a few words as a feedback on the box below!
[01.05.15] — First post in the SAO fandom!