A/N: well this has been playing around in the back of my head for some time now… love the series, literally cried when Ziva left us (eh… left Tony ;) ). I still watch the show (hubby abandoned the show for that reason…) and sooo want Ziva to return but know that Cote de Pablo have moved on to other things. :/

Hope you enjoy my little piece of fluff and a feeble attempt of getting my favorite couple back together ;)

Do note that this have NOT been beta read… sorry for glaring grammar mistakes…

Reviews are much appreciated… first one in this fandom not sure how I "nailed" the characters…

TIVA – Remember Israel

Empty.

This was how he felt, a feeling not unknown to Anthony DiNozzo, but the eight years she had been in his life, in some form or another. Though not in the true way he really wanted, except the short days they had shared in Israel. Days that ended far too soon, but he had gradually accepted her reasons for staying in Israel. He knew she had ghosts of her own to battle, and the only place she could do that was Israel.

Finding a bottle of wine in his kitchen he corked it open and looked at the clock. The ordered pizza would arrive soon. Tony sighed as he contemplated his choices for this evening. Earlier he had considered calling McGee to ask if he wanted to go bar hopping with him. But had decided against it, such things didn't really give him the pleasure it used to do.

Walking into his living room he looked at his massive collection of DVD's, trying to figure out what he was in the mood to watch this evening. It was pathetic, really, here he was, alone, when he could have had so much more. But what would it compare to if she was not part of it. Sighing he placed the wine on the coffee table and sat down. He let his head rest on the back of the sofa, closing his eyes. Bad choice, brown golden eyes was all he saw for his inner eye. Good lord, it had been three months since he had come back from Israel. But the pain still lingered in his heart. Those three days in paradise, as he liked to call them, had been glorious and amazing on so many levels. They had shared more than words and time alone; they had spent the better part of the time together in bed. Yes, they had slept together, made love, madly passionate love. They had done all the things Tony had fantasized about the past years, and much more. He felt his body respond to the images flashing through his mind, he rubbed his hands over his face, trying to clear his mind.

He was saved by the bell so to speak when the piercing sound of his door bell rang through his apartment. Jumping up he hurried to the door, it had to be the pizza guy.

He opened the door and was met with, not they pizza guy, but the brown eyed angel who had haunted his dreams for months. Ziva. His mind turned her name over and over, trying to grasp if he was only imagining things. Blinking a few times in shock, he shook his head, she was still standing there. She was dressed in a long open coat, a pair of loose fitted jeans, and casual sweater. Her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, wisps of brown hair framed her face. He looked her over and tried to make his mouth speak.

"Z… Ziva?" he never stuttered, but now his dazzled mind had robbed him of the ability to speak.

"Hi… Tony." Her lips turned up in a nervous smile, she seemed a bit hesitant, as if she wasn't sure if he would be happy to see her. Her eyes looked down, her nervousness was evident.

When he didn't speak Ziva dared to look back up at him, and gestured to his apartment, and asked, "Could I come in… If you don't mind that is… if you got plans… I'll just come some other time."

Tony pulled himself out of his daze, and nodded while he moved away from the door, "Of cause, please come in… I… just surprised to see you… I thought you'd never come back?" The confusion was evident in his voice, why had she come back?

Ziva smiled her thanks and reached down and picked up a medium seized travelling bag. She had apparently come straight from the airport.

"So when did you arrive to the US?" Tony wanted to know so much more, but thought it would sound too eager if he asked everything at once.

"About 3 hours ago." It was a short answer that didn't give him much information. She seemed on edge and nervous when she looked around at his apartment. She had placed her travel bag and coat in the small hallway and walked into the living room.

"And you came straight here?" When she nodded he asked further, "why? I mean why here, me… I…" He stopped talking; his mind was at a loss for words.

"Tony… I… know that I let us hanging in the winds, with no final conclusion to anything. I know that now, I regret it… I'm sorry… I just needed to… you know… get my things together and all…" Her voice was calm even thought she stammered out her answer.

"So have you?" She looked at him puzzled, "I mean have you gotten your things together… and moved on…I… mean… found your way again."

She nodded, but didn't give any more insight to what had happened. Tony tried to accept it as a complete answer, but his heart longed to hear more about what she had done in the past three months. He sighed in resignation and gestured towards the wine on the table and asked if she wanted some wine. Her response was to start nodding, then shaking her head while she explained, "No, not wine… I… I… you know I'm still weary from my flight, my stomach has not calmed down. You got some Cola or something?"

Tony said he would find some for her, he heard her following him to the kitchen. He looked back at her; she did seem a bit pale under her golden skin, the flight must have taken its toll on her.

When he had found a glass and a can of Cola he asked, "So you up for some pizza, I got one coming at just any moment now." He glanced at his wall clock and wrinkled his brow; the pizza really should be here now.

"Ah… well… I don't feel like eating pizza… really…" Ziva stuttered and looked at him apologetic.

"Okaaay… hmm are you hungry at all?" He turned to his fridge and opened it; he tried to figure out if he had anything else edible in there to offer her.

"I'm hungry, yes… what have you?" She moved closer to him and peered over his shoulder. When she saw the eggs she asked, "You got some toast too, I'll fix myself something." When he started to object she shook her head and continued, "No really, don't… I don't mind…"

Tony stepped back and said, "Help yourself, please, take what you need. I'm sorry that my fridge is not stocked up." She waved her hand in dismissal and removed the eggs and toast from the fridge, then turned to his stove and started to take out a frying pan. On several occasions in the past they had cooked together in his apartment, sometimes alone, sometimes with McGee and Abby. She missed those times.

Tony stepped out of her way and looked at the clock again, he felt his stomach turn in hunger, that pizza guy was not going to get tipped if he didn't show up soon.

The next few minutes were spend in silence while Ziva worked on her meal, she had scrambled the eggs, and placed a few slices of toast in the toaster. Tony shook his head, trying to understand her choice of meal, but he gathered that her flight really had upset her stomach, and toast and eggs might help on that. When she was almost finished the door bell rang again, Tony ran to the door, and paid for the pizza.

When he came to the kitchen he saw that Ziva had arranged her toast and eggs on a plate and now looked into the fridge. She turned her head to him and asked, "You got some mustard in here?"

"Mustard! What the hell do you want to do with mustard, don't you mean ketchup?" Tony was shocked, who eats mustard on toast and scrambled eggs.

"I mean mustard, you know that yellow stuff." Ziva explained with a sigh.

"What ever… I think I got some in there," He walked over to her and looked; he reached over her head and said, "Ah here we go, on the top shelf." He took the mustard jar and gave it to her, still eyeing her with curiosity. It had to be some form of Israeli specialty eating mustard with eggs. He shook his head and walked over to his pizza.

They walked to the living room, and sat down on his couch. Tony flipped the pizza box open and grabbed the first slice. He looked at Ziva and silently gestured with the slice, asking if she was sure she didn't want any pizza. She shook her head, and he shrugged his shoulders while he took the first bite. They ate in silence; the only sound was the clinking of Ziva's fork and knife making contact with her plate. Tony eyed her choice of meal and shook his head, he sure didn't understand it, but there were so many things about this woman that he didn't understand. He sighed inwardly; he was determined to find out just why she had come back. She was too important to him to just let her slip out between his fingers again.

When he had eaten four slices he turned to her and tried to come up with an opening question, one that would make her at ease. He had seen the tension in her body while she had eaten her meal, her shoulders hunched around her neck, eating with calm and staccato like movements, as if she was nervous about something.

"So, you came back?" Smooth one DiNozzo¸ he mentally slapped himself for his stupid and quit obvious question. She had placed her plate on the table and was sitting with her elbows resting on her knees, looking down at her hands. He looked at her hands, those hands that three months earlier had send him spiraling on an epic trip of emotions and sensations. He shook his head, he didn't need to go down that memory lane right now, and he had no idea why she had come back. Those three days might just be a forgotten memory for her, he didn't know.

It took several moments before she answered, "Yes I came back…" she took in a deep breath, "I… I did find myself again, really I did… and I found so much more… I just needed… you know… space… time alone… thinking things over…" Her voice was a low whisper, but Tony heard every word, they flitted into his heart giving him a silent hope that she had come back to stay. But how, why and where was still unanswered questions.

Tony nodded, but realized that she hadn't seen it as her face was still turned towards her hands, "I… I… that's great… Ziva… I'm really happy to see you again, I never thought we… I… would ever see you again." She turned her head up; her mouth wore a wry smile, as if she tried to digest his words. She was obviously linking it all together in her overanalyzing ninja brain. Her eyes had a curious glint in them as if she was pleased with something he had said.

Tony rubbed his neck uneasily, not sure what else to say. Never in his life would he have thought he would be tongue tied when being with Ziva. She had always been easy to be around, they had shared so many laughs and talks with each other. Yes they were close friends, they had crossed the line from that to… well what ever those three days in Israel had made them into. Tony had no idea.

Ziva didn't speak, only kept looking at him with those huge brown orbs, pulling him into their depths. Tony was lost, and he knew it, if he were to loose her again he would be lost. He knew that he might be looking like the lost puppy that he felt himself as, but he knew he had to be honest with her, and himself.

Blinking a few times he cleared his mind and said, "Honestly Ziva… I… dreamt of this… you coming back; I just never dared hope for it to happen. I knew you had your things to deal with, and I knew… I… I couldn't be part of that… I know that… I just hope that… well… you'll stay this time." With me, he added inside his head, but he dared not speak those words, yet. He let all his hopes shine through his eyes, he knew he was laying it all out there in the open, and hoped that he didn't scare her away before he had a chance to figure out why she had really come back.

Ziva nodded several times, she wanted to make sure that she said her next words right, it would change everything, and she knew that. She looked up at the man before her, Tony, her ex-coworker, her friend, her – lover, yes those three days in Israel had made him just that. Now she hoped to make him even more. Sighing in frustration she rose from the couch, took her plate and made a feeble excuse to clean out her plate.

Tony reached for her hand and stopped her from moving away from him, he rose up beside her, willing her to look into his eyes. He knew he begged for her attention, but she was not going to get of the hook that easily.

"Look, Ziva, I just want to know. Where… am I in all this?" His voice bore an urgent plea, something he never did. DiNozzo's never pleaded like that, but this was different, he knew in his heart that the woman in front of him would forever hold his heart. She had the power to literally smash it to pieces or make him whole again.

Ziva placed her plate on the table again and turned to him, looking up at his eyes she said, "Yes Tony, I'm here to stay. But I will not go back to NCIS." At this Tony raised his eyebrows in surprise, "No, I'm done there. Things have changed." She looked down and fiddled with the hem of her sweater, when she looked up she was nervously biting her lower lip.

She needed air around her, so she moved away from the couch; she had no idea how to tell this very important thing to Tony. The hopeful expression on his face told her all she needed to know about his feelings for her, but would he still feel the same if he knew.

She walked aimlessly back and forth while she plucked up the courage to move on. Knowing that he needed to hear something from her first she stopped and looked at him.

"I love you, Tony, you need to know this before…" Her voice broke and he interrupted, "Oh god Ziva you have no idea how much I wanted to hear that… I love you too… I…" Ziva waved her hand to stop him talking; she gathered that she might as well just show him.

Rubbing the tension out of her neck she took a deep breath and pulled her sweater over her head. At first Tony was confused, his male ego came with a much too quick conclusion: Ziva wanted to sleep with him again. But reality hit him hard in his gut when he took in her appearance, clad in loose jeans, and a somewhat tight fitted shirt both not hiding the slight swell around her abdomen.

Tony felt his whole world go upside down, his head whirled with thoughts and emotions. He was literally speechless. That, he had not expected. For a split second he thought that Ziva might had been on a nervous eating spree but his logical mind kicked in and the very thought of what she now carried hit him like a truck, plowing into his life a full speed.

Ziva had kept looking at the floor, but when no sound came from him she timidly looked up. His face told her of his inner turmoil and slight confusion. She tried to give him a brave smile, while her inside turned in circles. Her worst fear, him rejecting her, could happen in the next moments. Biting her lips she tried to determine what his thought was on this new development.

He felt slightly dizzy but kept standing, taking her all in, her biting on her lips, her searching eyes, brown and deep with worry over his reaction. He ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his neck, then taking a deep breath of air.

"Ah… Ziva I… well… I… wow… that," he pointed to her swollen belly, "you… I'm… surprised… really… I… oh God I can't even talk straight." He chuckled nervously, and took a few steps closer to her, still trying to get his mind and tongue to work together. He saw her nervousness, and knew he had to make a stand, tell her how he felt about this, and what he wanted.

Tony had never thought of himself as a paternal person, but yes his mind had wandered and daydreamed, about the woman now standing in front of him. Dreamed of what it would had been like if she had stayed and they had formed a relationship. At some point he knew women, even his ninja warrior, might want to start a family, and to be honest, the idea of a family with Ziva was not that scary as he might had thought it would be.

His mind finally managed to tell his tongue to start working again, "Ziva, I had never thought this would happen, I'm sure you didn't either. Those days in Israel was pure heaven for me, for us, I have dreamed of those days in the past months. You stayed in my heart, always, nothing can or will ever change that."

Ziva visibly let her shoulders relax and looked at him with surprise at his last words; she nodded to her belly, "not even this?" She looked up and saw him walking slowly over to her, he was shaking his head.

With a shutter of relief she let him take her hands in his, the warmth of his gentle hands shot heat straight to her core. She had missed him, more than she would ever admit; her vision became blurry with unshed tears.

"I love you, Ziva. Think I always have, we've been through so much together. This," he placed a hand on her belly and gently caressed her swollen baby bump, "This will never change a thing, only the fact that I think I might love you even more, it that's even possible."

She looked at him with her jaw dropped, she had never imagined him say this, so openly, so freely. Tony grinned at her; he knew that he might act a little strange at the moment, but heck, who wouldn't when only seconds earlier you've realized you're becoming a father?

He pulled her in his arms, holding her close, and gently kissed her temple. She let herself move into his embrace, longing to feel his arm around her, holding her close. They stood like this for several moments just enjoying the closeness and both trying to believe that this was actually happening.

Tony started wondering about how the next couple of days would fare, him going to work Monday, would Ziva want him to tell everyone that she was back. He now understood why she didn't want to go back to NCIS, but knew that her close relationship with the rest of the crew would mean that they would become part of this little new side of their lives. He let a hand travel to her abdomen, gently caressing her through her shirt. Tony had no prior experience with pregnant women, but had heard they could get mood swings and weird cravings and the like. Chuckling for himself, he now understood her strange choice of condiment to her meal.

Hearing him chuckle made Ziva pull away and look at him curiously. He grinned even more and tried to explain his musings. She slapped his arm in mock indignation and started to laugh herself.

"But I do wonder what the others back at work will make out of all this," He indicated to her swollen belly, still smiling widely.

"Hmm, guess some will get the chock of their lives, and I'm sure McGee will make fun of you, Abby will definitely squeal in delight over this whole thing. I do think she had us figured out ages before we did ourselves." Tony nodded at this, while she continued, "and… well… you know Gibbs, I'm not so sure about… I really don't know what he will think of this?"

"Oh I see what you mean, not sure he will start acting like the proud grandfather to be," Tony laughed at this, he knew that there was a some form of father/daughter relationship between Ziva and Gibbs, but he sure wouldn't want to miss seeing him get the news of Ziva being pregnant.

Ziva laughed again, she told him that she wanted to come to work with him Monday, and making him promise to not tell anyone until then.

"I want this weekend to just be us, getting to know each other again." She explained.

Tony couldn't agree more to this he was starting to feel the so familiar longing inside of him, a longing to be closer to her. But suddenly he was not sure if they could even do that, he looked nervously at her.

"Sooo, what do you want to do now," Tony asked nodding to the TV, indicated that they could watch a movie together. But Ziva only shook her head, biting her lip nervously. Then she looked him straight into his eyes and whispered, "I want to be with you," Tony raised a questioning eyebrow, not entirely sure what she meant. She smiled slyly at him and explained, "Show me your bedroom Tony." The shock on his face was worth it all, rarely did she manage to make Tony DiNozzo speechless, but she couldn't help liking it even more.

Grinning like a mad man Tony took her hand in his and walked her to his bedroom. The bed was still the semi single bed he always had. When Ziva turned to ask him, he only explained, "Never saw a reason for a bigger bed, not until now at least, will you help me pick out a bigger bed tomorrow?" Ziva nodded, and stated that they would make do with this one for tonight, and told him that she didn't mind sleeping close to him.

The rest of they night they relived their magical three days in Israel, it was as if the three months that had past had not even existed. Tony was in heaven and he had his angel beside him.

Small Epilogue:

Monday morning the couple walked into the NCIS office. Ziva had walked partly hidden behind Tony, and when he pulled her out in plain view a small form of pandemonium happened. Sure enough McGee took the opportunity to friendly mock his colleague and friend on his new role as a future father.

The squeals from Abby partly drowned out McGee's mockery. She was beyond herself with happiness seeing them together, and the news about the baby had her over the moon and back.

Gibbs was standing slightly back from it all; with his trademark hidden and secretive smirk on his face. No one knew exactly what it meant. When the commotion had died down he quietly walked over to Tony, looking him square into his eyes. Tony gulped down, not sure how this would go. Giving his usual "head slap" he stated, "Took you long enough DiNozzo, thought you where an intelligent man, but apparently seeing that love is right under your nose is beyond your capability."

Tony grinned like a mad man; he never minded the head slaps the smile on his bosses face told him that his new relationship with Ziva had been accepted.

Then Gibbs gave Ziva a huge bear hug, and whispered, "It's great seeing you again, if he hurts you, you tell me right away okay." Ziva nodded and with tears in her eyes smiled at the man closest to a father she had. She whispered a heartfelt thank you, and decided that her news of not working for NCIS would be announced at another time. Right now she basked in the loving embraces of her friends, and she knew that everything would be alright. She had come back and found the love she had dreamed about for a very long time. Gently caressing her swollen belly she felt small bubbles inside of her, and she knew that this baby would have a family, and close friends that would always love them.

THE END

A/N: hope you enjoyed this… there will not be any more NCIS fics coming from my hand… still got a few project running around in my head in other fandoms…

Be kind and review this… thanks.