"I might have done something bad," Alex announced as he slammed the door to their dorm room shut. John turned around in his desk chair immediately, eyebrows furrowed in concern. Alexander ignored him in favor of undoing all his ridiculous outwear and throwing it dramatically on the floor. Usually, John would be cackling over Alexander's extreme sensitivity to New York winters, but the "something bad" was a bit too foreboding. Alexander did incredibly stupid and reckless things all the time, but he rarely admitted to such. John was already trying to prepare himself for the fallout, because if Alex was admitting to fucking up, the world was probably ending.
When he had finally untangled his second scarf and plucked his gloves off, Alex spoke again. "I got into an argument with Jefferson."
"Okay…?" John replied with no small degree of confusion. It wasn't like that was rare, and Alexander never regretted ripping Jefferson a new asshole. "What was it about?"
It was then that John realized that Hamilton was trying to avoid his eyes, fidgeting restlessly and staring at John's laptop.
"Well, we were in the quad after Washington's lecture. I'm not sure exactly what it began with, but I can assure you he started it, and eventually he was saying that I have a fear of commitment probably stemming from my father leaving when I was young and could never be in a real relationship with someone," Alexander answered in one breath, shoulders straightening as though to brace himself. John winced. Jefferson had no right to say any of that, but he always had a way of knowing what buttons to push and of waltzing straight over important lines.
"What a piece of shit," John replied angrily. He rose from his chair and wrapped Alexander up in a hug. The other boy was tense at first, but eventually relaxed and burrowed his nose into John's collarbone. "You know that none of that is true, and so does he. He was just trying to wind you up." At this, Alexander drew back, grimacing a little. "Well, it worked." "Oh Christ, Alex, did you punch him again?" John asked worriedly. Jefferson had tried to press charges last time, snitch that he was. "I'll tell the cops that you were in here with me the whole time." "Ah, no," Alex answered, making a face. He screwed his mouth up, then said delicately, "I might have shouted a falsehood back at him." "You lied?" John said shrewdly, raising his eyebrows. Alex always reverted to archaic language when he was uncomfortable, which he certainly was now. He squirmed backwards, ducking out from John's arms.
"Well, yes," he replied bluntly. "And I need to you back me on it." Alexander had asked far worse of John before, and there was no way he was going to let his best friend down. "Sure, man. What was the lie?"
Alex licked his lips (quite distractingly) and gazed determinedly at the ceiling. "I believe my exact words were, 'Yeah, well riddle me this motherfucker: how am I dating John Laurens if I can't commit?!'"
'Floored' didn't even really begin to describe the way John was feeling. He sank back into his chair, and almost felt like asking for a cold washcloth to lay across his forehead. Alex had told Jefferson that he was dating John, that he was committed to John. John was pretty sure he'd had a dream that went like that a few nights ago. It was everything John had wanted since, like, the second week of freshman year when he watched Alex destroy Seabury at debate club and realized how hot he looked when he was all fired up and also how great of a person he was and that he would really like to ask Alex out and re-enact that scene from Lady and the Tramp with him. But Alex was already his roommate, and the best friend he had at Colombia, and even then had gotten a reputation for sleeping around. John had made his peace with the fact that he would never be in a romantic relationship with Alexander Hamilton years ago. And now, Alex wanted to date him, but only to prove a point, to win an argument…
But, still. It's Jefferson.
"Well, fuck," John replied, quite succinctly. "If you told Jefferson, we have to go along with it. We can't let him win."
"I knew you'd understand! That's why you were my instinctive choice as a significant other," Alex happily declared. John felt a flicker of annoyance that once again, Alexander unapologetically took whatever he want without considering others, but the irritation was quickly washed away by the excited puppy-dog look on Alex's face. He'd been dealing with his feelings for years, this would hardly be any different.
"Well, who else would you have chosen?" John replied reasonably. Alex huffed out a sigh and collapsed into his desk chair.
"Burr would've been horrified about me offending his delicate sensibilities and ratted me out to Jefferson. Angelica would've punched the shit outta me. Eliza probably would've gone along with it because she's so nice, but again, Angelica would've punched the shit outta me. Lafayette is too weirdly cozy with Jefferson to keep up the lie, and everyone knows Herc would never date me," Alex ticked off each name on his fingers before grinning unrepentantly up at John. "I am so lucky to have a friend like you, Laurens."
John felt rather like his face had been dunked into a bucket of ice. "You've put some serious thought into this."
"Not really," parlayed Alexander, fake-modest as always, "After my moment of panic, I was frantically trying to determine if I could actually pull it off, because like, I did not want to tell Jefferson I lied. And I was thinking about all the names I could've said, and wondered why I chose yours, and realized that you're the only one of my friends this could've possibly worked with! I have killer instincts."
There was a sinking feeling in his stomach, but John tried to push it aside. Unconsciously, he had gotten his hopes up, had thought that Alex blurting out his name maybe meant something on a subconscious level about how Alex felt for him. But no, Alexander had perfectly sound rationale behind the decision to choose John as his fake boyfriend, not any ulterior motives, like wanting to hold his hand in public or kiss him or anything.
"So, we should get our story straight," John said, fake-bright smile in place. Alex nodded, and began yanking his arms out of his thick winter coat.
"Yeah, I began outlining that on my way back here," Alex said, plucking a stray piece of paper off the hamper and pulling a pen from his pocket. He began scribbling furiously. "I figured we should say that we've been together a month, long enough for us to say we're committed and serious, but not unreasonably long. Obviously, there's some bumps, like why none of our friends knew, but I figured we could just say we wanted to make sure it was gonna work before letting everyone know. Wouldn't want to fuck up the group dynamic."
"Yeah, wouldn't want to ruin the friendship," John replied dazedly. Alex looked up, shot him a delighted smile, like John was following along so nicely, the perfect pupil.
"Anyways, I'm gonna create a list of potential questions we'll be asked, and then we can brainstorm our answers together. Like, first date? Wouldn't want to have different answers and shit, ya feel," Alex airily continued. John swallowed, nodded mechanically. What would their first date have been? In another world where Alexander actually wanted to go out with John?
"Now, luckily, we're already affectionate with each other all the time, like God, how many times has Burr told us to turn down the PDA? But that also means for people to believe we're a couple, we're gonna have to dial it up a few notches," Alex advanced. John twitched. Touching Alex even more, around everyone, was a very pleasing thought. Although what would constitute as a few notches was a mystery to John, because Alex was basically an octopus already.
John finally looked Alexander in the eyes again, probably blushing a bit, only to find Alex already staring at him expectantly with bright eyes. John gave him a confused look, and Alex raised an eyebrow. He put his writing materials on the desk and pulled John bodily off his chair.
"You're gonna have to kiss me," he said emphatically, as if explaining something to a small child. It's a miracle John could hear what he said next, what with all the blood rushing past his ears. "People are gonna expect us to be making out all over the place, and I, for one, am not kissing you for the first time near Lafayette. He'd spot the inexperience a mile away." "What?" John squeaked, quite eloquently. A small smile graced Alex's mouth, and his cupped his hands around John's jawline.
"We need to get used to kissing each other," Alex said softly. John gulped. "So, kiss me."
God, John didn't think he had felt this frozen trying to kiss someone since he was a sophomore in high school. But he just couldn't get himself to lean down, press his lips into Alexander's, despite how many times he'd imagined it. He felt like a deer in the headlights, caught in Alex's hands and face but unable to do a damn thing.
Alex sighed, drooped a little bit, and that wilting was so inherently wrong to see on Alex that John was spurred into motion. He ducked his head and pressed his mouth against Alexander's. Their noses bumped, and their eyes were both open which was weird because it was weird to look someone in the eyes that close together, but-
Alex shut his eyes first, tilted his head so that their faces lined up better, and kissed John back. He pressed up into John, hand sliding to cup his neck. After a few moments, Alex grew bolder, and sucked on John's lower lip.
Finally, he felt like he could relax, and melted into Alex. His hands settled over Alex's flank, and he tentatively opened his mouth against Alex's. Alex seemed very happy about this, eagerly running his tongue over John's lip.
John didn't know how long they stood their, getting progressively more wrapped up in each other, but he eventually pulled back to suck in much-needed air. Alex took this as an opportunity to begin pressing kisses along his jawline, nipping at the corner. John rolled his head back pliantly, giving Alex better access, and it wasn't until Alex was sucking his earlobe into his mouth that John realized what was happening.
"Alex, Alex-" John tried to get his attention, but Alex merely hummed and returned to laving kisses on his neck. "I don't think we need to practice this much." "Not practice," Alex said into John's skin, sliding his hands along his torso and tucking up underneath his shirt.
"Yeah, we're practicing so that we don't seem weird when we're pretending to date near our friends," John reminded Alex, nudging his mouth back from his neck. Alex sent a pout up at John for stopping his path.
"We don't need to pretend," Alex said simply, as if that statement was simple at all. "We can just date each other." John gaped at Alex, uncomprehending. "But-"
"I can write you a nice invitation later, a formal request to be my boyfriend, if that's what you need, but I thought I made my motives pretty clear when I told you that my first instinct was to tell Jefferson we were in a committed relationship. Now, if you'd let me get back to worshipping your very nice body with my mouth," Alex finished, trying to dive back into John's collarbone.
"Wait, wait, I- I thought you just said my name because you knew I'd go along with it!" John squeaked, feeling very confused and pushing Alexander back by the shoulders.
"Yeah, that was a pretty great excuse, wasn't it? I'm really good at coming up with bullshit at short notice," Alex replied, laser focusing in on John's lips. He was pressing up on his tip-toes, trying to get his mouth back on Laurens.
"What the hell?" Laurens asked, not being able to comprehend what just came out of Alex's mouth at all.
"Oh, come on John!" Alex exclaimed, throwing his arms out dramatically. "I wouldn't have told Jefferson you were my boyfriend unless I actually wanted you to be my boyfriend!"
"You wanna be my boyfriend?" John asked, incredulous. For the first time, a flash of vulnerability cross Alex's face, furrowing his brow.
"Obviously," Alex responded, even though it was actually anything but. "I think I've made that pretty clear, not just today but over the past three years. I thought you wanted this, too. But I understand if it was all just in my head, you know how overactive my imagination gets, and I'm sorry for throwing this all at you-"
"No, no, no!" John reassured, the disbelief being chased away quickly by the giddiness rising in his chest. "Just checking! We're totally on the same page here!"
Now John was the one trying to attack Alex's mouth, and Alex let him. It didn't really work though, considering they were both grinning too wide to form anything resembling a real kiss. The press of lips and clacking of teeth and feeling Alex's cheek muscles stretched wide in a smile was still incredibly good, though.
Soon, Alex's hands were stroking John's abs beneath his shirt, and John let his hands slide from Alex's sides to his ass. Alex groaned in approval, licking a stripe along John's collarbone happily. John felt his cock begin to harden, and instinctually thrust his hips forward. Alex pushed a thigh between his legs, and John was so tempted to just grind against him.
"Wait, wait, wait," John forced out, pushing Alex back. "Isn't this moving a little fast?"
"My dearest Laurens, I have many virtues, but patience is not one of them," Alex responded, squirming his way back into Laurens' arms and pressing them chest to chest. He rolled his hips up into John's, and John didn't feel guilty about rutting against him anymore. Eventually, when John was aching in his pants and worried about getting a wet spot on his boxers, Alex began walking backwards to the bed. John shuffled along after him blindly, too busy rubbing his tongue against Alex's palate to care much where they ended up. This led to Alex's knees hitting the bed frame, and him falling backwards with an oof (the oof might have been because John fell on top of him). John tried to get up again, stop crushing Alex, but Alex managed to wiggle his way out from underneath him.
"Ugh, I am so glad this is finally happening," Alex chirped as he scooted backwards up the bed. "You have no idea how many times I've pictured you fucking me into this mattress."
John almost choked on his own saliva at that, but he managed to swallow hard and pull it together enough to crawl in between Alex's legs, settling his thin hips over Alex's. "You've thought about this?"
"Yeah, like, all the time," Alex replied easily, cupping the back of John's neck and pulling him in for a sloppy open-mouthed kiss. "Basically every time I've jerked off since I met you. You're really hot, ya know?"
John swore to god he felt half the blood in his body rush to his cock at that, and he dropped his head to groan into Alex's neck. The image of Alexander in one of the shower stalls, water sluicing over his body, hand wrapped around himself, biting his lip to keep quiet as he fantasized about John pounding him into the shitty mattress was too much.
"If you'd just told me that, we could've been fucking since freshman year," John muttered into Alex's skin, voice sounding punched-out. He felt Alexander's chest rumble in a laugh beneath him.
"That goes both ways, you know," Alex pointed out quite reasonably, but the gentle press of his lips to John's head softened the words. "Anyways, now that we've established that we have mutually wasted too much time…"
Alex trailed off, letting a suggestive roll of his hips finish his sentence instead. John pressed his smile into the skin beneath Alex's ear, biting his earlobe quickly before propping up on his elbows.
"Should've known you'd still be a dork in bed," John shot back, grinding his crotch down against Alex's, sucking in a deep breath at how good the friction felt. Alex opened his mouth to retort, but the words turned into a strangled whimper instead. John's cock twitched at the noise, and his head fell back into the juncture of Alex's neck. "Oh god, that was so hot. You're so hot." "Oh, so now I'm hot?" Alex murmured back. "Thought I was a dork."
John made a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a groan, but forewent answering in favor of shoving his hand in between their bodies. He managed to wiggle the limb to the nonexistent space between their groins, and somehow finagled the button on Alexander's jeans open. With that clasp gone, the zipper on his jeans practically undid itself, the bulge of Alex's erection being enough pressure. John dipped his hand into Alex's boxers, blindly ran his fingers over the damp head of his cock. He tried to stroke Alex, to discover the shape of his dick, but the angle sucked and there was too much fabric in the way. John resorted to just thumbing over the head again, rubbing his finger into the slit until he felt a bead of precome dribble out.
Alex was moaning overhead, fingers erratically clenching into the material of John's shirt. "Off, off, off," he ordered breathlessly, whining and squirming beneath John and trying to tug his shirt off him. John acquiesced, kneeling up and reluctantly releasing Alexander's cock. He obediently raised his arms so that Alex could yank the shirt off his torso, then returned the favor of divesting Alex of his own top. When Alex's head popped out of the collar of his shirt, hair mussed and cheeks bright red, he licked his lips and groped at John's groin.
"Come on, come on," he whined, fumbling with the button and zipper, and letting out a triumphant noise when he was successful in his pursuits. John let out a sound that was somewhere between a growl and a chuckle, and grabbed Alexander's hands. He pushed him back onto the bed, forced him to lay down against the pillow, and pinned his wrists above his head. Alex went without much of a fight, looking up at John with dilated pupils and bitten-red lips. His hair had fanned out on the pillow, the slight curls framing his face quite nicely, and John switched his grip of Alex's wrists to one hand.
"Look so beautiful like that, baby," he murmured as he tried to shove his pants off one-handed. With some effort, he got them down around his knees, and decided that was good enough. John glanced down at Alex's dick, the dark flushed head just peeking out over the and of his boxers, and reconsidered their position. As pretty as Alex looked spread out like this, John really did not relish the thought of grinding against the metal fly of Alex's jeans. "Baby, I want you to keep your hands up there, okay? Please?"
Alex licked his lips and breathed out a near inaudible "yeah", but the flush that was creeping up his neck told John that he'd stay exactly as he was. With that reassurance, John set about pulling Alexander's pants off him. The task was hindered because John, like a fucking idiot, forgot to take off Hamilton's socks first and of course he was wearing impossibly tight skinny jeans that would not fit over his ankles-
"John, John," Alex groaned, "Doesn't matter. Leave 'em, just- touch me- touch me please-"
John realized that he had been glaring at Alex's pants for a while, stressing about getting them all the way off, and mentally thanked Alex for getting his mind off the stupid menial task. It was just, this was so much, so much, and focusing on taking Alex's pants off had been a way to center himself only it hadn't worked-
"John, come here," Alex said, voice cutting through John's self-beratement. "Come here."
He moved his arms from the top of the pillow and made adorable grabby-hands at John, wrapping him up in his arms when John crawled up the bed to him. He pressed John's face into his chest and tangled his fingers in his hair. It was a position they had found themselves in a thousand times before, both being big cuddlers (both platonic and non-platonic), and it was comforting.
Of course, it wasn't really like the thousand times before, because they were both nearly naked, and John could feel Alex's bare erection against his abdomen, and his own dick was still semi-hard, but still. It was the thought that counted.
"We don't have to do anything, ya know," Alex murmured into the crown of John's head. John stifled a hysterical laugh, because their dicks were practically touching. "Like, we're boyfriends now, right? We can do this whenever we want. It doesn't have to be now."
And damn it, Alex's voice had never sounded so vulnerable and simultaneously tender. John pressed a kiss to his chest. "Yeah, we're boyfriends now."
John could practically feel Alex light up beneath him, and when Alex pulled his head up, he got to see the impossibly wide smile stretched across Alex's face. John couldn't help but return it, cheeks hurting from how good it was, to be this happy, and he showered kisses all over Alex's face. Alexander giggled, and tried to sneak kisses onto John's face whenever he darted close enough.
"Boyfriend," he whispered into John's ear. "Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend!"
"Oh god," John mock groaned, smile betraying him. "You're gonna be even more annoying know, aren't you?"
"You betcha," Alex replied, smacking a self-satisfied kiss to John's nose. His eyes twinkled up at John, before dimming a bit and becoming more solemn again. "If you don't want to do anything today, it really is perfectly alright. I'm happy just to do homework with you," Alex said quietly. John tussled his hair affectionately.
"I really, really want to have sex with you, trust me. Like as soon as and as often as possible," John reassured fervently, and Alex snorted. "It was just- overwhelming, for a minute. You were lying there, and you were being so good and so beautiful and I still can't believe you even like me like this-"
"John," Alexander cut him off again, but with a very serious tone this time. His face was uncharacteristically solemn, brow furrowed like he was trying to telepathically communicate with John. "I'm sorry that you ever doubted that I had feelings for you. I really thought I was being blatant about it, but you know how I get."
"Alex, you're kinda like that with everyone," John pointed out, laughing and pinching Alex's cheek affectionately when the other man scrunched up his nose.
"Am not-"
"Are too," teased John. Alex stuck his tongue out petulantly, then wiggled beneath John to get more comfortable on the pillow. Which is when John realized that Alex's dick was still mostly hard, and pressing against his hip. He gaped, "What-?"
Alex waggled his eyebrows in a way that really shouldn't have been at all attractive. "It's gonna take more than a conversation about our feelings to turn me off, John Laurens. I've been waiting for this since freshman year, remember?"
John stared down at his face with some measure of awe, shaking his head in disbelief. "You're incorrigible."
Alex shrugged, as if to say yeah, that's true before straining up to capture John's mouth in a soft kiss. "It's alright, yeah?"
John melted into the kisses, tucked his hands around Alex's ribcage. "Yeah, s'good now."
Alex took it as permission to swipe his tongue over John's lips, and draw John's tongue into his mouth. When Alex gently suck on his tongue, threading a hand into John's thick curls, John felt his cock begin to fill out again. He moved down to Alex's neck, determined to leave his own hickeys. He bit and sucked on a spot just below Alex's jaw, a place practically impossible to cover up, where everyone could see. And the thought of that, of everyone seeing his marks on Alexander, motivated John to wrap his hand around Alex's dick again. It was easier now, no clothes in the way. Alex moaned approvingly, and he tilted his head to talk right into John's ear.
"Both of us," he said breathlessly. "Want you to stroke both of our cocks at once, wanna feel you against me and your hand."
John hid his whimper in Alex's throat, but immediately opened his grip to include both of their cocks. And god, that felt so good, feeling the ridges of Alex's cock against his own. He tried to start stroking them off, but it was too dry. Frustrated, John raised his hand to his mouth, intending to spit in it.
"Here, let me-" requested Alex, straining to lean his head up towards John's hand. John acquiesced, offered his hand to Alexander, who immediately took two fingers into his mouth and wrapped his tongue around them. John felt his throat go dry at the feeling, wondered what it'd be like if Alex did that around his cock instead-
Alex distracted him from that train of thought by pulling off his fingers and licking sloppily along his palm. He then nipped John's two neglected fingers, which John gladly offered up. Alex drew his tongue along those, too, until they were dripping wet.
"I really wanna suck your dick," Alexander said conversationally, letting John's fingers slide from his mouth. "Fuck," he muttered, frantically reaching down to get his hand around their cocks. "Can't say things like that, Alex-"
"Why not?" Alex smirked back. "S'not like I'm not planning to follow through." Alexander's smugness was offset by the way his eyes rolled back into his head when John rubbed his palm over the heads of their cocks. John allowed himself a brief moment of smug delight before focusing back in on jacking them off.
Alex, however, decided to keep talking. "Wanna suck you off so bad, John. First thing I wanna do tomorrow morning, wake you up with my mouth around your dick-"
Jesus Christ, the thought of waking up like that, to Alex under the covers with his mouth on John's dick, made him tighten his grip on them even more. He dropped his head to Alex's chest and began mouthing over his right nipple as encouragement.
"I wanna- fuck, John, bite there, harder- wanna do everything with you. Want your fingers, and your cock inside me, and I wanna touch you everywhere, you're so beautiful, wanna stare at you all day, wanna kiss you in front of everyone on the quad-"
Alex was starting to become wild beneath him, hips trying to thrust up erratically, red flush spreading down his chest, prominent ribs heaving. John gave his nipple one last bite and soothing lick before propping himself on his elbow to get a better angle. From here, he could see Alex's face, the sweat glistening on his forehead, the hair sticking across his face and spilling over the pillow.
"I want that too," John answered, almost winded. "Want all that, and God, Alex, you're the beautiful one."
Alex released a broken whine at that, eyes fluttering open. His pupils were blown out, and his lips were swollen. John couldn't help but kiss him, open mouth aligning sloppily over Alex's. There was no finesse, he was running his tongue over Alex's lips and teeth and breathing in every gasp he gave. John began to grind against Alex's cock, and the added pressure of that with his hand triggered his orgasm. He moaned loudly into Alex's mouth, and if his eyes weren't already closed his vision probably would have gone spotty. Alex was murmuring something to him, probably incredibly filthy and hot, but John couldn't for the life of him comprehend words.
John rocked his hips through the waves, but eventually the sensation became too much for his sensitive dick. He shifted down a bit, resting his hips on the mattress between Alex's legs, and started stroking Alex off again. It was so much wetter now, John's come and Alex's spit and the precome dribbling from Alex's slit, and Alex began to fuck into John's hand.
"Come on, baby," John grunted hoarsely, voice sounding strange to his own ears. "Come for me."
Alex went completely still for a moment, whimpered, and-
Alex was so pretty when he came. His neck arched back almost painfully, and his mouth was only slightly open, and John could feel the muscles in his thighs quiver. He wished he could take a picture of this moment, keep it close to him all the time. He probably stared a bit too long, and when Alex caught his breath, he smiled angelically up at John. John ducked down to give Alex a chaste kiss, which he hummed agreeably in to. John reluctantly sat up and tried to kick off his jeans the rest of the way, only having his left hand clean to assist him. Alex looked on with some amusement, sated and soft.
"You're gonna have to clean this up, you know," Alex said casually, wiggling and stretching until he looked like a star fish on the bed, their come glistening on his abdomen. "You rendered my motor functions useless." "Good to know you're a lazy fuck," John snorted. "I guess I'm gonna have to do all the work around here." Alex just winked playfully up at John, then yawned widely. "You know it." John shook his head fondly, because of course Alex would never want to clean up his mess, and got up to grab tissues off the desk. He wiped himself off, then traveled back to the bed and cleaned Alex to the best of his ability as well. Alex gave him a dopey smile and smacked a kiss to his cheek in thanks, then curled up under the sheets while John disposed of the gross tissues.
"You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I might need to thank Jefferson," John mused, sliding under the covers and pulling Alex into his chest.
"Never say that," Alex groaned, muffled into the pillow. "I'll break up with you if you say that again."
"No you won't," John chirped back, pressing a kiss into his messy hair. Alex tilted his head back, gave John the softest and sappiest smile.
"Nah, I won't."
AN: I am crossposting this from ao3, where I write under the name icouldbuildacastle. This was originally published February 13th, 2016.