Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Wolf.
oOo
Kira could remember the first time she saw Scott.
Something about him had caught her eye, like a moth being drawn to a flame. She didn't dare go up to him though. Oh no, she'd never be so bold as to approach anyone, let alone him.
Not that she didn't pick up a friendly vibe from him. No, even from her locker she could tell he was friendly, nice, kind. All was proven, of course, when her dad humiliated her in front of him… twice, for that matter. He never jibed at it. Not even during their teasing banters did he bring up her father's obliviousness to his only daughter's embarrassment.
It was Kira's first day of school, and she was struggling. Everyone knew where she was going, and the only one she knew was her dad. She felt pathetic and small, and she was deeply home sick. She wanted her friends back. She wanted her life back. During her sulking as she tried to find her calculus class, she had seen him. He was walking with a taller boy with spikey brown hair. He laughed at something his friend said. His laugh was full and he held nothing back, even though he was walking. It made her smile. It was somehow comforting.
Then she saw him when he came into history. He didn't notice her. Sadly he didn't have the skill of discerning wallpaper, but when she was pointed out to him, she noticed his gaze lingered. It wasn't a gaze of lust; in fact, she didn't know exactly what emotion his gaze was. Interest, perhaps? Maybe even just a simple friendly observation that was crossing into something he didn't want it to be. She didn't want to read in to it, but of course, she did any way.
oOo
The first time they speak she is a rush of nerves. She feels stupid admitting to eavesdropping. She isn't a freak. She's not a stalker. She swears she happened to be walking by. But Scott, he smiles at her. It's so encouraging that she even answers questions that could very well be mocking. Then he says her name.
Her eyes widened, and she gave a faint gasp. He remembered her name when no one else did. She smiled at him, and he smiles back.
She knows exactly what possessed her that night as she typed bardo into google and researched all the sites, printing the legitimate ones and discarding the trash. She makes sure everything is in order when her dad came up behind her, asking her what she was doing.
"Nothing, just researching something for someone," she said, trying hard to be vague and nonchalant.
Her dad doesn't buy it. "You made a friend?" He sounded so shocked, and so relieved that she feels embarrassed and almost guilty. Had it really been that bad? She knows the truth, she's felt it weighing on her for nearly a month, but she does nothing to answer that but blush.
"Not exactly…" she said after a pregnant pause.
"A boy, perhaps?" he teased.
Kira blushed harder. "It's none of your business," she said, turning from him and begins to fiddle with the papers and fixing inexistent blemishes.
Her dad just chuckled, but said nothing else to her relief.
oOo
The first time they hold hands, she's not sure who made contact. Maybe it was her because she was so scared about dying. Maybe it was him to comfort her. He held her to his chest, soothing her. She was freaked out, but she refused to cry. He holds her hand in the police office, squeezing her when he knows she's terrified and dwelling on what happened. When he released her hand, it feels lonesome and cold.
She whispered a thank you to him as she leaves with her parents. He nods, because somehow he understands what she is feeling. Like he can hear her every thought, feel her every stutter in her pulse.
She wished there was something more than she could say than thank you. She wants to hug him, or maybe kiss his cheek, but she doesn't. Thanks to her dad tonight was enough. And thanks to that crazy man, tonight was something unreal. Not a girl of risk, all she does is smile shyly and leave, only glancing back once to see that he is leaving too, but he's also looking back.
oOo
The first time they take the first step into a physical relationship Kira is terrified. She's never done any of this before, and she doesn't want Scott to know. He'd know she was lacking. He was with Allison. Allison the girl who is beautiful, powerful, perfect, and experienced like Scott, and someone who Kira could never compete with, especially in comparison.
Scott moved slowly, making sure Kira was comfortable for each baby step he took. At the scent of her fear, he stopped and cupped her cheek.
"Hey," he said quietly. "Are you okay?"
She leaned into his hand, feeling her lip quiver. Oh, did she hate herself in this moment. She couldn't meet his gaze, and closed her eyes.
"What's wrong? Do you want to stop?" he asked gently, rubbing her cheek softly with his thumb.
A small voice inside her was begging him not to stop, and she shook her head. "No… it's not that. It's nothing. It's stupid."
"It's not stupid, Kira. Whatever it is, whatever you're feeling, we don't have to do anything. Not until you're ready."
"I am ready," she said. She was, wasn't she? There was nothing else to wait for, except this feeling.
She sighed. "Promise me," she said. "Promise me that you won't judge me for this."
"Of course I won't." He assured her.
"I want your word."
He looks at her, and then nodded, his face serious as he waited for her to continue.
"I'm scared because… I know you and Allison had a thing, and I know it's stupid," she sighed. "I know comparing myself to Allison is stupid, but… it's not because I haven't done this before, because I'm not insecure about that. I love you, and you not being my first… I don't want to change that. But Allison is Allison! She's perfect, and I'm just well…" She trailed off, unsure of what to say. She was Kira, and Kira compared to Allison? It was like bus passes and cars!
"Kira, look at me." And she did, only to be greeted by warm brown eyes and a look of understanding. He didn't judge her because he knew what it felt like. To compare to your lover's former lovers and her heart skipped a beat in realization.
"I love you," he said. "And a part of me will always love Allison, too, but not like I loved her or even love you now. Allison is Allison, and she will always be my first, but I can't compare what we had and what we'll have and think less of you." He shook his head, trying to suppress a grin. "It's hard, but don't compare. It makes everything worse, and you try to live up to unknown expectations, when I don't have any. I just want to make you happy, and I don't want to hurt you. That's all I want."
She could have cried with the happiness she felt and she smiled and pulled him to her, kissing him hard, knowing full well their mouths would be swollen and bruised.
"Scott," she whispered quietly, embracing him and feeling his pulse and being comforted by the nearness of him. She loved him. She never even knew a heart could feel this much love for one person.
It's like being at peace, she thought serenely, letting him hold her and kiss her down her neck.
"Can I try something?" he asked her quietly.
She nodded.
Slowly he moved his hand down her torso, when it got to her pants he looked up at her, searching for the hesitancy in her eyes that wasn't there. Her stomach ached with anticipation, nervousness, and it all seemed to pool and settle at the pit. He slid her pants down slowly, waiting to see at each tug if she'd stop him. When they were tossed on the floor, he reached for the waistband of her panties, and she felt her eyes widened. She didn't know what they were going to do, but the realization of her soon-to-be nakedness stunned her in a way that made her feel silly and childish.
"I'm fine," she assured him. "I'm just… new, I guess is the word."
He smiled encouragingly and tugged the fabric down at an achingly slow speed. When they were gone, somewhere with her pants on the floor, he kissed up her leg, causing her breath to hitch.
"Scott," the name escaped her lips in a breathless whisper.
He traced her inner thighs with his lips, teasing her, causing strangled moans to fall from her lips. Her body craved him, and she felt like she was on fire as the pit in her stomach burned.
"P-please," she begged him.
She could feel him smile against her, and his eyes met hers in a silent question of are you sure, and she nodded with a strained smile.
Suddenly, his tongue was inside her and she arched her body in surprise and pleasure. She felt the air leave her lungs, and her noises became silent as her face contorted in pleasure as he flicked her clit. His tongue was everywhere, and she gripped the bed sheets hard, her knuckles losing their color the longer they went on. She held on, and suddenly, his hand came up and his finger was inside her, moving alongside his tongue.
She couldn't hold it in anymore. She felt something release and she cried out his name in a moan as she fell back onto the pillows, gasping for air.
He kissed her, and she could taste herself, and wanted to shy away, but didn't.
"That was amazing," she said as she panted for air when he fell beside her on his side, his head cupped in his hand as he watched her stare at the ceiling, gasping for air.
"I'm glad you liked it," he said with a kiss on the cheek.
She flushed suddenly, remembering once what her friend back home had said about favors. If he did that for her, surely she'd have to do the same for him, right? But how did one even bring it up? Should she get up and just remove his pants and boxers? From what she understood most guys would be okay with that, but this was Scott! Scott wasn't like that. Was he?
She bit her lip and he nudged her, letting her know that he knew something was wrong.
"Am I supposed to, you know…? Am I supposed to return the favor?" She asked her voice full of nerves and fear.
It was Scott's turn to blush. "No, no!" He said in a rush, "Of course not!"
Kira felt something inside her drop. Apart of her felt like he didn't want her to and it made her compare herself to Allison again.
"So I don't have to?" she asked, sounding more like a scolded child than a girl who had just had her first orgasm.
"No, Kira, you don't have to do anything you're not ready for." He said, touching her arm.
"What if I want to?"
His cheeks reddened more. "Well… then, yeah, I guess you could." He said in an uncomfortable tone.
"Oh… I see," she said, then turned from him.
"No, Kira, I didn't mean it like that!"
"No, it's fine."
"I just don't want you to feel like you have to."
"Because I'm a silly virgin, right?" she snapped her voice tight and her eyes welling with tears at her own stupidity for even asking and for ruining everything.
"You know that's not true! I just don't want to rush you. This stuff is about you. You deserve your first experiences to not be about me. That can come later if you want it to, but I don't want you to feel like you have to do this stuff."
"Well I want to! Or at least I want to try! Isn't that the point? This stuff can't always be about me, you're supposed to be like this, too, y'know!?" She said, her cheeks burning bright red.
Scott sighed, and then nodded. "I feel like a jerk letting you do this."
"Well, you're not." She assured, and then crawled over to him and took a deep breath.
Her hands shook, and Scott reached for them. She pulled her hands out of his reach and shook her head with a shaky smile. Another deep breath and she reached for his belt and unclasped it. He lifted his hips so she could remove the belt and she began to unbutton and unzipped his pants with shaky hands.
"Kira," Scott began and she shushed him, giving his pants a tug.
She looked at his boxers, seeing a tent forming and she blushed. A really immature part of her wanted to cover her eyes and remain innocent; a bigger part of her sneered and reprimanded that part.
Without a second thought she tugged them down and he sprang free. Face red, she looked down at him with wide eyes. Tilting her head to the side, she felt a blush creep along her face.
"Kira?"
"S-sorry!" she squeaked. Oh pull yourself together, girl. Don't be a baby just put his thing – him – in your mouth and then…
"You really don't have to do this, Kira. I promise."
She felt patronized and gave him a glare, her face heating up even more and she was afraid she was going to cry.
"I can do this, you know." She said in a waspish tone as her cheeks became an angry shade of red and her mouth set in a harsh frown.
"I didn't say you couldn't!" He said in a rush, trying to reassure her. "I'm just saying –"
"I know what you're saying! I'm just saying that I already feel like an idiot, and you're making me feel like a baby!" Her eyes widened and she covered her face. "Oh my God."
The whole situation was awkward to say the least. Both were pants-less, and Scott was in a compromising position. It was the epitome of embarrassment, and Kira was sure if Webster ever got ahold of this the definition of shame, humiliation, awkward, and all of the above would be changed to this exact moment.
"I'm sorry," Scott said touching her arm gently. "I know what it's like, that feeling like you have to prove yourself. Well you don't. I love you, Kira, and you know that. I want you to be ready. I want you to feel comfortable with this. Don't force yourself to do things because you think you're supposed to do something a certain way."
Kira felt her lower lip tremble and she kissed him. She could never have been so lucky to find a boy who understood her completely in this moment.
oOo
He was touching her. Her skin felt like it was on fire. His thumb brushed over her breast, making the skin tingle and the pressure in her lower abdomen build.
They were going to do it, and for once, Kira felt unafraid. There was no more awkward, just them. Just the pure feeling of absolute bliss and pleasure as his hands made work around her body, mapping out each crevice and filing it in his memory.
His lips trailed down her neck as she arched her head to the side, sighing and moaning in pleasure.
"Scott," she said her voice no more than a breathy whisper.
He bit down gently, causing her to cry his name louder in a gasp as her body jerked forward.
She felt him smile against her skin. She gritted her teeth. Cheeky, she thought as she moaned again.
He pulled back, looking down at her as he tucked her hair behind her ear, smiling. "It might hurt," he said with a worried frown.
"I know," she assured.
He searched her face and she grinned as best as she could as she came down from her high, assuring him that yes, she was indeed ready.
She was an excited kind of nervous. She felt it balloon up in her chest, her stomach exploding in butterflies, nerves waiting in anticipation. She felt him align, and she almost groaned at the slow anticipation.
Suddenly he was inside her. It hurt, but it wasn't as bad as she had once feared. It felt odd having him inside her, but not entirely unlikable.
He waited patiently for her to adjust, and when she nodded, he pulled out and slowly came back in causing the pair to moan.
"Lift your hips," he coached, helping her along. He taught her slowly; though she had a feeling it was hell for him.
Scott gave every piece of himself to her, and she tried to give back to him. His hands guided her, and soon he was hitting a new spot inside her that caused her to cry his name out in pleasure.
Pressure built inside her, and she gave into her release to have him follow her soon after.
They lay together and when she caught her breath she turned on her side and kissed his cheek. "I love you."
He grinned and kissed her back so deeply, telling her that he loved her too.
Author's Note: Admittedly I've never written Teen Wolf characters before, and I saw a lack of Scira (mostly smut, though this is so PG-13 it's deplorable, but in my defense I never write smutty-smutty stories, and am so out of shape with smut.) that I wanted to try to do this. Scira ftw, yeah! (idk go with it guys ily?)